


As long as I have you - Volume 1 - Their Story

by Nina_Hikari



Category: Hiki and Howl
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2020-11-01 23:07:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 141,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20538620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina_Hikari/pseuds/Nina_Hikari
Summary: Trigger warnings!!!Throughout the story there will be mention of Child Abuse, the protagonists will have to face Homophobia, there will be NSFW scenes and tons and tons of fluff. You have been warned.





	1. Tenmei - Fate

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings!!!  
Throughout the story there will be mention of Child Abuse, the protagonists will have to face Homophobia, there will be NSFW scenes and tons and tons of fluff. You have been warned.

"Hello, I'm here to meet Ueda-san. I have an appointment."

A blond man in a black Audi Q7 sat waiting in front of a big iron gate. It took a moment after he had answered the intercom before the gate began to slowly open.

"Follow the road until you reach the main building," a deep voice told him.

The man did as he was told, following a graveled path for about five minutes until he arrived at a plaza stationed in front of a grand mansion. The mansion's architecture displayed a distinguished amalgamation of traditional Japanese charm and modern flair. He parked his car, got out, and adjusted his black suit and his midnight blue tie before pushing up his glasses and walking up to the entrance door. Giving no thought to hesitation, he rang the doorbell to which a buff, bald, gorilla of a man in a black designer suit answered.

"Follow me," the man ordered. He entered the house, they walked through the entrance hall and followed a long hallway. They had passed several doors before they finally reached their destination. The gorilla opened the door and gestured him to walk inside.

"Wait here," he growled. Taciturn fella, he thought. He sat down on the black leather sofa and the gorilla left. The room was bright and big, but the interior was quite spartan. Next to the sofa was a chair, a coffee table and a cupboard with an expensive-looking vase and a framed picture on it. Through the big glass door, he had a good view of the big, well-kept garden, which looked more like a park sizewise. He got up to take a closer look at the picture on the cupboard. It was a family portrait. An expressionless mother and an earnest-looking father were standing in the middle, surrounded by five kids, dressed in expensive-looking yukata. He knew that the man was the one he had an appointment with. He had seen his face in the newspapers before, so that must have been his family. It was a well-taken picture, but it looked more like a picture frame model family of people who had never met before. The only ones who were smiling was a boy that looked around 10 years old, who was sitting behind two other boys that looked close in age to each other, his hands were placed on their shoulders. He guessed the smaller boys were around six or seven and they were holding hands. The bigger one of them was smiling too, but the smaller boy looked shy but very cute. There was also a girl around 15 that looked like she was pouting, and another boy, that looked slightly older than her, with the same earnest expression as his father. Such a big family, but except for those three boys in the corner that were sitting together, there was no feeling of happiness or wholesomeness whatsoever. Suddenly the door opened and a young man entered the room.

"Oh, there's someone in here, I'm sorry for disturbing!" He bowed. "I-I wanted to take a shortcut to the garden." He pointed at the glass door. "I assume you're waiting for my father… he's in a meeting, but he should be here soon."

"Yes, I am. My name is Harada Howl. Nice to meet you." Howl answered.

"N-Nice to meet you, I'm Ueda Hikaru. What an unusual name…"

"Oh, yeah. My mother was a big fan of the book 'Howl's Moving Castle' by Diana Wynne Jones, you see. And she was a little extravagant, so she named me and my sister after the main characters."

"Oh, that's awesome! I love that book too, it's one of my favorite stories!"

"You like reading?" Howl asked and pointed at the book the boy was holding.

Hiki nodded eagerly. "Yes, I love books. It's like living another life… Good books take you away and let you forget where you are, who you are and that you're reading at all..." he replied with glowing cheeks and a spark in his eyes.

"Your excitement is very refreshing, Ueda-kun," Howl said.

"Oh, umm…" He blushed and looked down, obviously flustered. "Ah, c-can I offer you some tea? My father's men aren't very hospitable most of the time," he tried to change the topic. It wasn't like him at all to open up to others like that, but there was something about that man...

"But weren't you on your way to the garden? I don't want to be a bother to you." Howl replied.

"Oh no, I just wanted to go for a walk… I can do that later," he said.

"Well, in that case, I would love to have a cup of tea, thank you. But only if you join me."

"Sure! Do you like green tea?" Hikaru asked eagerly.

"I love green tea." Howl smiled warmly. The boy froze, then he blushed and left. Howl slumped down on the sofa. "What the heck… my heart is beating like crazy… He's too cute…" Howl mumbled to himself. After a few minutes, he came back, carrying a black tray with a teapot, a cup and a plate of cookies on it, placed it on the coffee table and sat down next to Howl.

"Here you go, Harada-san," Hiki said as he poured him a cup of the healthy brew. "I made the cookies myself, I hope they are to your liking," he said nervously. Howl took one of the cookies from the plate and tried it.

"Ueda-kun, they're delicious! Hands-down the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever had," He praised him.

"Ha-Harada-san, are you making fun of me?" Hiki asked skeptically.

"Not at all! My father's family runs a chain of sweets shops, so you can trust my verdict," he winked. "Maybe you've heard of Harada Sweets before?"

Hiki blushed. "Y-Yeah... Well, I'll take the compliment then, thank you. I'm very happy that you like them." He looked down shyly. Howl's heart was throbbing hard. He was completely bedazzled by this boy's brisk cuteness.

"Ueda-kun, may I ask how old you were on that picture?" He pointed to the photograph on the cupboard. "You're the youngest one of the bunch, right?"

"Oh… I was seven when it was taken. I'm the smallest one, but my brother Hajime, who's sitting right next to me, is one year younger than me," he explained. He looked sad and Howl wondered why that was the case, but he didn't dare to ask.

"So you're seventeen now?"

"I've turned eighteen last month, on the twenty-second."

"Oh, that's only three weeks ago… happy belated birthday! You really look younger."

"Th-Thank you." He blushed.

"Are you attending any University yet?"

"I'm going to attend T-Uni starting September. Since my birthday is after the start of the spring semester, I decided to begin in September." Hiki answered.

"T-Uni? That's funny, because…" Howl started, but suddenly the door opened and the gorilla guy entered the room.

"Ueda-dono wants to see you now. Follow me," he barked, completely ignoring Hiki. Howl started panicking internally. He didn't want to leave, he wanted to talk to Hikaru more! He got up and frantically rummaged around in his pocket. He pulled out a flat silver box, opened it and took out one of the business cards that were inside.

"Ueda-kun, I would like to meet you again to continue our conversation, I really enjoyed talking to you. Please call me or send me an email, okay?" The stern expression on his face as he formally offered him the card with both hands startled Hiki. He hesitated. Wasn't that man there to meet his father? The people that usually came to their house weren't exactly of the upright kind. He looked at the card and it read:

'Harada Howl - Founder and CEO of Castle Tech - IT and Smart Home Security'. It could have been a fake company, but he seemed like a nice person and talking to him had been fun, so Hikaru didn't want to be rude to him. He took the business card, which seemed to make him very happy. They said their goodbyes and Howl left. Hiki sighed, put the card into his jeans pocket and left through the veranda door to eventually take his walk.

Hiki liked the big garden behind the house. Especially the part that was furthest away from the main building, since no one ever walked that far to go there, so he had it all to himself and no one who would disturb him. Hiki prefered to sit underneath his favorite tree over being inside the house since the atmosphere there was always kind of dark and cold and his father often had 'business partners' over, which most of them were unpleasant people. He didn't feel at home there… or welcomed.

As he had reached his little hideout, he made himself comfortable on the ground between the roots of a big cherry tree and took a deep breath of the fresh air. Although it was May already, it was still quite chilly outside. Then, he suddenly realized something. "Crap… I forgot my book in that room… because of that guy…" He said to himself and sighed, annoyed. "That guy…" He leaned back against the tree and looked into the cloudy sky. It had been the first time that one of his father's associates was nice to him. In a non-creepy way at least. The clientele normally consisted of other Yakuza Clan leaders or members. Growing up as the son of the head of one of the biggest clans wasn't easy, especially because Hiki hated violence and weapons. His siblings were better at accepting their lifestyle, but he just wanted to get out of that house as soon as possible. A chilly breeze came up and Hiki put his hands into the pockets of his cardigan. "Oh…" There was something in his right pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it. It was the card that man gave him. "Harada Howl, huh… What a weird guy…" Howl was very tall, Hiki estimated his size to be around 1,90m. Although he spoke the language accent free, he looked outlandish. He was blond with ice blue eyes that seemed almost as if they were glowing. His appearance was quite impressive and his expression was stern, yet friendly. And his smile… and his deep voice… Hiki shook his head. "What am I thinking about…?" He clicked his tongue and wanted to put the card back, but then he hesitated. He took out his phone and started typing. "He was very kind and polite, I should at least thank him for that," he told himself and started typing a message.

[Thank you very much for praising my cookies earlier. Best regards, Ueda Hikaru.]

He tapped the send button. "Wait, that sounds stupid, I have to delete this, what am I doing?" He panicked, and as he tried to find out how to delete a message on the app he was using, his phone suddenly started buzzing. "Wah!" Startled by that, he dropped it on the ground and looked at the upwards directed display. It was his number! "Why is he calling?!" Hiki's heart was pounding so fast, it felt like it was about to burst through his chest. He reached for the device, but at the moment he picked it up, it went silent. "Oh no… I missed it…" Hiki wasn't sure why, but he felt very sad. He wanted to hear his voice again. He sighed loudly and got up to go back inside to continue with the studies he was taking a break from when suddenly his phone started buzzing again. "Y-YES?!" He answered his phone so eagerly that he cringed over his own behavior. What the fuck is wrong with me, he thought.

"Ueda-kun? Are you there?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Can you talk or are you busy?"

"It's fine…" Hiki sat back down. He was just a stranger, but hearing his voice felt somehow comforting.

"What are you doing right now?"

"I'm still in the garden…"

"Aren't you cold?"

"No, I'm fine. Where are you?"

"I'm in my car on my way home. I just finished my appointment with your father and when I got your message, I thought I'd call since I can't type right now."

"How was it? The appointment I mean…"

"Well, your father is quite a character. I've never met someone like him before, and to be honest, I think that's not a bad thing."

Hiki chuckled. "It sure isn't. So… you're not one of those people, are you?"

"Those people?"

"You know what my father's main occupation is, don't you? He has quite a reputation."

"Oh… yeah, no. That's not my usual clientele. But he contacted my company and having him as a client would actually be great for our growth, so I had to meet up with him, regardless."

Hiki felt relieved. So he was an honest man after all. "What does your company do?"

"Ah, it's just boring IT stuff. Among other things, we develop Smart Home Security Systems and such. We're going to set up new IT systems at your father's offices and install a new Home Security system." Howl kept talking and talking and Hiki didn't understand all of it, because it was mostly things he didn't know anything about, but he wasn't bored for a single second. He enjoyed hearing him talk and couldn't help but smile.

They had a very long conversation and both didn't realize how much time had passed. Howl had gotten home, had dinner and sat down on the sofa and they were still on the phone together.

"Ah-choo!" Hiki suddenly sneezed.

"Oh, bless you! Ueda-kun, are you still outside?!"

"Yeah…"

"Go back, it's dark already and it must be freezing outside! I hope you didn't catch a cold, tch."

Hiki smiled. Being scolded made him happy because that meant that Harada-san cared about him. "I will, sorry." He got up and walked back to the house. When he had already reached his room, someone suddenly grabbed his shoulder from behind. Hiki jolted and almost dropped his phone. "What the…? Oh, Hacchan!" It was his younger brother Hajime. He was the complete opposite of Hiki. He was tall, had wide shoulders and a toned body due to the sports he did, like soccer and kendo. Hiki on the other hand was very slender. Not too skinny, but also not muscular at all, so naturally, everyone mistook Hajime for the older one.

"Niichan, there you are! Kai is coming over to play video games, you want to join us?"

"Umm no, not today, sorry." He tried to hide his phone.

"What're you up to," Hajime asked curious as he noticed his weird behavior.

"Noth- AHCHOO!"

"Eh? Are you getting sick again? You should take a hot bath. Want me to-"

"No, no, it's fine, really. I'll just go to bed, I'm sleepy. Goodnight, Hacchan and say hi to Kai for me." Hiki turned around and hurried to his room, leaving a stunned Hajime behind. He sighed loudly as he shut the door behind himself. "Are you still there Harada-san?"

"I am. Are you okay? What happened?"

"Nothing. Let's continue our talk." Hiki dropped on his bed and they continued talking.

Howl called him again the next day and the day after, and on both days they talked for hours and hours again, from the afternoon until late at night.

On the morning of the fourth day, Hiki woke up with a pounding head. "Ugh…" He turned around and got up. He felt horrible. His nose was stuffed and his throat hurt. So he did catch a cold that day after all. He had felt kind of weak ever since, but he had hoped that it was just because he didn't sleep much due to those long phone calls.

"Wait… did we even hang up last night? Oh no." Hiki realized that he must have fallen asleep while Harada-san was still on the phone. His feverish cheeks became even redder. "How embarrassing!" He coughed and took his phone. There was a message! He opened it and read:

[Ueda-kun, I hope you're okay. I'm sorry, but I hung up the phone after you fell asleep. Can I call you again tonight? I haven't had that much fun in a long time...]

Hiki's heart skipped a beat. It's fun for him to talk with me, he thought. "Why am I getting all excited," he asked himself confused. He typed in an answer and tapped the send button.

[Me too. Call me whenever you have time.]

Unexpectedly, he received a reply right away.

[Can't wait.]

Hiki was so happy, he almost forgot how sick he felt. He got up, took a hot bath and went straight back to bed to rest before the call. But his condition got worse over time. His little brother brought him some tea and porridge, but he slept most of the time and in the end, he missed the call.

Hiki was devastated when he woke up in the morning and saw that there were five missed calls on his phone. He sat up and still weak from his cold, he couldn't help but tear up. He hadn't even noticed that his brother and his childhood friend Kaito had entered his room to look after him.

"Niichan, are you crying? What happened? Are you feeling worse, want me to call an ambulance?"

"I really like him, I wanted to talk to him more and maybe even see him again, but now he's probably super angry at me because I didn't pick up the phone last night…" Hiki sobbed.

"Wait, what? Who? What are you talking about?"

"Is he hallucinating because of the fever," Kaito asked jokingly.

"Noooo," Hiki sniffled. "Five days ago I met someone and he's so kind and we were on the phone for at least seven hours every night, he wanted to call me again, but I missed his call because I was sleeping… He must hate me now."

"Who is he," Hajime asked stern.

"His name is Harada Howl. He's tall and blond and he has the bluest eyes I've ever seen… And he's so kind and funny..." Hiki swooned dazed with a running nose.

"Gross…" Kaito remarked and threw a tissue at him. Hiki blew his nose and continued:

"He had an appointment with father because he'll take care of his computer. I met him when he was waiting and I offered him tea and brought him cookies. He really liked my cookies…"

"Howl who? Cookies? You're such a weirdo..." Hajime placed his hand on his brother's forehead. "Jeez, you're burning up, Niichan. Come on, lay down again."

Hiki diligently did so and Hajime tucked him in. "I'll go and get some cooling pads. Kai, can you stay with him?"

Kaito nodded and sat down at Hiki's desk which was covered in books and notepads.

"Hacchan, don't tell mother that I got sick again," Hiki mumbled sleepily.

"As if I would do that," Hajime replied and left the room. It didn't take him long to get the cooling pad, but when he came back, his brother was already fast asleep again.

"Dammit, he didn't even eat or drink anything," he cursed.

"That was some weird stuff he said, huh," Kaito said. "Will you keep an eye on that?"

"Definitely. If what he said wasn't a fever dream, then there's someone who obviously has some sort of interest in him."

"But it didn't sound like it was another Yakuza, so he should be safe, right?"

"I don't know. It's weird that Niichan is so into him. It's not like him to talk to someone on the phone for hours, especially a stranger. You know how shy and reserved he normally is towards others. This is concerning."

"Or maybe you're just overprotective. Maybe you're overthinking and they just get along well… He doesn't have any friends besides us, so maybe he finally decided to open up a little more…"

"Kai, you know him since you're five… do you really believe that?"

"Okay, not really. But what are we going to do? He's not a kid, we can't tell him not to talk to strangers…"

"Yeah, but…" Hiki's buzzing phone interrupted their discussion. Hajime leaned over and took a look at the screen. "It says Cookie-san…"

"Are you gonna pick it up?" The second Kaito had finished his question, Hajime had answered the phone call.

"Oi, listen, I don't know what kind of game you're playing with my brother, but you better not have any shady plans or I'll find you and-"

"You must his little brother, right? He talks about you a lot. My name is Harada Howl, nice to talk to you."

"What do you want from him?"

"Growing up in certain social circles probably makes you raise suspicion against others easily. But I'm an upright man, I founded my own company, I work hard to run it successfully, I'm not a crook, and I have no bad intentions regarding your brother. I respect that you want to protect him, that's what family does, so I kind of expected you to confront me at one point. Your brother speaks very highly of you and the two of you seem very close after all."

Hajime was surprised and even impressed by that man's straightforwardness. "What exactly are your intentions?"

"I don't know. I just enjoyed being around him and talking to him is fun, interesting and invigorating… He has a sweet personality and I would like to get to know him better."

"You sound like you have a crush on him," Hajime said provocatively.

It took a moment for Howl to reply. "Maybe that's the case... I have never really been in love before, so I don't know what that feels like, but…"

"My brother isn't gay, so don't get your hopes up. You should just leave him alone."

"Can't do that, sorry. Your brother is old enough to make his own decisions. If he tells me to leave him alone, then I will respect that. But you don't have the right to tell me that in his place. But rest assured that even if I was in love with him, I would never force myself onto him. I would like to talk to him now, did he listen?"

"No, he didn't. He's sleeping off a cold."

"Ah, I see… So that's why he didn't pick up my call last night. I thought that he sounded strange the day before. I will let him recover then. It was nice talking to you, Hacchan-kun. Maybe I'll have the pleasure again. Goodbye."

"Hacchan-k…? He hung up…" Hajime looked at Kaito. He was completely startled. "Heh… what an interesting guy…"

"Huh? What happened? What did he say?"

"He's cool. Very blunt, but I don't think he's a threat to Niichan. But I'll still keep an eye on this whole thing. Come on, let's go so he can rest." Hajime took Kaito's hand and the two of them left the room.

For the next four days, Hikaru was down with his cold. Due to his weak immune system, he was used to getting sick easily, but this time it hit him really hard. He had a very high fever and was out cold most of the time, but Hajime and Kaito took good care of him. They wanted to call a doctor, but Hiki declined because their mother wasn't exactly a warm-hearted person and she hated when he became a bother to her. He wanted to avoid one of her tantrums and after three days of mostly sleeping, he had finally recovered. But even his illness didn't keep him from constantly checking his phone to see if Harada-san had at least sent a message, but there was nothing. Hiki figured that he still must've been angry at him and it made him really sad. He wanted to send him a message to apologize, but he didn't dare to.

"Jeez Niichan, stop sulking over some stranger, will you… Are you feeling any better?" Hajime had entered his brother's room to check up on him, but all he saw was a blanket ball on the bed that had the face of his brother.

"I'm not sulking. My fever is gone, I feel much better today. Thank you for taking care of me, Hacchan, you're the best~"

"I know, I know." He grinned, happy about his big brother's praise.

"Where's Kaito? Don't you have soccer practice today? He usually watches you…"

"We had a fight…" Hajime sighed and slumped down on Hiki's bed.

"Oh really? What happened?"

"I wanted to make out, but he didn't... and then I… kinda told him... to stop bitching - OW!"

Hiki had reached out and smacked his brother on the back of his head. "You're an idiot! Go and apologize, now!" He sat up and glared at him.

"I know, it was extremely shitty of me and I feel really bad about it, but he won't pick up his phone…"

"So what? Go to his house, it's just down the road! Hacchan, you need to understand that now that you guys are more than just childhood friends, you have to be a little more careful with your words and actions. I'm very happy for the both of you that you're a couple now, but please don't ruin it. I wish I had what you guys have…"

"...You do?"

"Of course… I mean just because I never had a love interest doesn't mean I want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want someone who I can love and who loves me back… just like you. Kaito is such a great person, you're lucky that he returned your feelings when you confessed last year. I'm convinced that you're meant for each other. You share the same interests and hobbies, you have the same taste in movies and music, and character-wise you're complete opposites. He's calm and collected and you're lively and outgoing. You know what they say, right? Opposites attract."

"I really love him, that's why I can't help wanting to be close to him all the time- OW! Niichaaaan!"

"Hacchan, seriously, get your teenage hormones in check! If you love him that much, and I know you do, then treat him with the respect he deserves. I can't believe that I really have to tell you that, tch."

"You're right, you're right, I'll go and apologize. But I'll stop at the konbini first and get him his favorite sweets. I don't want to show up empty-handed."

"Now that's more like you, good." Hiki patted his brother's head.

"Niichan, my hair~" Hajime got up and walked over to the door. "What are you going to do today? Are you gonna stay in bed?"

"Hm… No, I feel hungry, I'll head over to Ramen Jiji."

"Yeah, you barely ate anything in the past few days. Make sure to get a big bowl of stamina ramen."

"Yup." Hiki scooted over to the edge of his bed.

"You should just call him."

"Huh?" Hiki's heart skipped a beat. "Call whom? What are you talking about?"

"That guy you were swooning over when you were sick. If you like him, call him." Hajime winked and shut the door behind him.

Hiki blushed. He had absolutely no recollection of him talking about Harada-san. But calling him just like that after days… impossible. Hiki shook his head, got up, and got ready. His favorite Ramen shop was only a twenty-minute bike ride away.

He sat down at the counter and placed his favorite book that he had brought along on it. It was quite a busy time, so he decided to start reading until the waitress had time to take his order. He loved to go to that small and cozy shop. It was a little run down, but that just added to its charm, and to Hiki, Jiji made the best Ramen in town.

"Ueda-kun?"

Hiki jolted and turned around. His heart stopped as he saw the person standing next to him. His blood rushed to his head and was pulsating in his ears.

"H-Harada-san?" He dropped his book. "What are you doing here?"

"I had an appointment at one of your father's offices nearby and got hungry… Since you're here, I assume you're feeling better?"

"Huh?"

"You were sick, weren't you? I guess you caught a cold because you stayed out in the cold for too long the night when we had our first phone call… Are you okay? You look pale…" Howl frowned concernedly.

"I-I'm okay… But how do you know?"

"May I?" Howl asked and sat down on a chair next to him after Hiki had nodded.

"I called and your brother picked up your phone."

"Hacchan? He didn't mention anything…" Hiki said surprised.

"He told me that you're sick, so I wanted to give you time to recover before I contact you again. But… I couldn't stand to wait anymore and wanted to call you yesterday, but then something came up at work and in the end, it was way too late. I would've called you this evening, but now that I met you here, would you like to have lunch with me?" He smiled.

"I would love to," he smiled back broadly. Hiki felt so happy and relieved.

Howl's chest tightened. He's way too cute for his own good, he thought. He didn't plan on making any advances to Hiki, but he definitely had fallen for him, he was sure about that now. They placed their order and switched to one of the tables in the back for more privacy.

"I'm really happy to have met you here, Ueda-kun. I wanted to talk to you more and I would like to eat your delicious cookies again… Jeez, I must sound like a creep…" He couldn't believe he just said that, he made himself look like an idiot.

"N-No, not at all. If I would have known that I'd meet you here, I would've brought you some. Next time, I promise," Hiki smiled. Howl blushed slightly, which made Hiki's heart skip a beat. He swallowed hard. What the heck was that, he thought.

"Oh, by the way… I stopped at one of my family's branches and got you this." He rummaged around in his dark brown leather briefcase and handed Hiki a black box with a golden peony emblem and the writing 'Harada Sweets" on it. "Good thing I forgot to take it out after I bought it."

"W-What is this?" he asked dumbfounded.

"Open it," Howl smiled. "I didn't know if you like them, but I decided to give it a shot."

Hiki opened the shiny box and inside was a mix of colorful Japanese sweets that were shaped like flowers.

"Uwah~ Namagashi! I love these! And they're so pretty, thank you Harada-san!" Howl could tell that Hiki was genuinely happy about this gift.

"Hehe, I'm glad you like them. Thank you for having lunch with me. Food tastes better when you don't eat it by yourself," he smiled fondly. Hiki's heart skipped a beat. What is that weird feeling, he wondered.

"I agree. And… well... I enjoy talking to you." He blushed and Howl couldn't help but smile at his cuteness.

"To continue where we left off the other day, you wanted to tell me all about your University, right?"

"Ah, yes." Hiki was impressed that he still remembered. "I will enroll at T-Uni in September."

"My sister Sophie is a T-Uni alumnus. What faculty will you attend?"

"Education, I want to become a teacher." Hiki smiled.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, my Brother-in-law is a professor and he always talks so passionately about his job, it inspired me."

"I see. Well, good luck and work hard, Ueda-kun." Howl smiled. Hiki's heart sped up again. Why did that happen every time this man smiled?

"T-Thank you, I'll do my best. My grades are good and I'm really looking forward to my University life."

"Are you going to move to Tokyo? It would probably be more convenient than to travel by train every day, right?"

"I want to, but I wasn't able to find a job there yet, and there are no free dorms currently. And… I'm not allowed to take the train. My father insists for us to have a driver… and a guard." Hiki thought that might scare Harada-san away, but he still wanted to tell him more about his life circumstances.

"Hmh, yeah that figures. It's probably for the best considering your father's… activities." Howl nodded understanding. Hiki was surprised, but also relieved that he was so understanding, so he continued.

"There are a few rival clans that pose a constant threat to our family. It can be dangerous for us to walk around unguarded here in Machida… I hate walking around with a guard. B-But when I asked him, he said I wouldn't need any of that if I moved to Tokyo, since no one really knows who I am there. At least not the people I'm going to be surrounded with. If I could move around more freely without having to sneak out all the time..., that would be great." Hiki explained.

"I see... But can't your father pay for your rent?" Howl asked bluntly.

"Well he could and he even offered it, but I don't just want to rely on my father's money. That's why I worked hard for my scholarship, and I always had a part-time job because I wanted to save up some money. But my savings were just about enough to pay for my books and such. I need to find a job in Tokyo, so I'll be able to pay for my living expenses."

Howl was very impressed. Hiki was so young, but already so mature and independent.

Finally, their Ramen was served, so they started eating.

"Wow, it's really good!" Howl munched.

"Right?" Hiki replied and smiled. "Uhm… Harada-san, can you tell me more about your sister…?"

"Sure, her name is Sophie. She's my twin and moved to Osaka after graduating and works as a dojo instructor."

"That sounds impressive!"

"Yes, she's an amazing person… But she can also be very stubborn and... Oh, hold on… There's something on your cheek…" Howl reached out, wiped the little soup smudge off of Hiki's cheek, and licked it off his thumb.

"W-W-W-What are you doing?" Hiki asked utterly flustered.

"Sorry, it was a reflex," Howl grinned teasingly.

Hiki blushed. His heart was beating like crazy and his face was glowing.

Howl was amused about his demeanor. Hiki was too cute for words, he loved to fluster him.

"Ueda-kun, what was that book you were reading earlier?" Howl asked to change the topic, so Hiki could cool off a little.

"Book? Oh, it's called Midair, Deep Sea by Usami Akihiko. It's my favorite book! It's one of his older works, they're a bit sad and gloomy. His more recent publications give off a lighter feeling, but I really like this one. He's a great author, he was the youngest person ever to win the Aomori Award," Hiki babbled.

"I see," Howl smiled.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I got carried away again," he blushed. It happened a lot during their phone calls too. Howl enjoyed seeing his excitement over the smallest things.

"It's good to have something you're passionate about. Nothing to apologize for," Howl encouraged him.

"You're probably right." Hiki blushed and continued eating.

They talked about everything and anything and really enjoyed their time together. It was even more fun than their phone calls and as usual, there were no moments of awkward silence or anything like that at all. But suddenly Hiki's phone started ringing.

"Oh, excuse me." His expression hardened as he answered the call. "Yes? Oh... okay. Yeah sure, no problem, I'll be there right away…...mh..." He hung up with a sad look on his face.

"I'm sorry Harada-san, but I have to leave. That was my sister Harumi, she needs me to take care of her daughter. She has a sudden appointment and it's their Nanny's day off." Hiki was very sad that he had to leave, he would've loved to spend more time with Howl.

"Oh… that's too bad. I would've loved to spend more time with you," Howl said and Hiki's heart skipped a beat. Was he reading Hiki's mind? He got up and wanted to take out his wallet to pay for his meal.

"No, that's on me." Howl stopped him.

"B-But…"

"Please let me invite you as compensation for the tea and your delicious cookies the other day," he smiled.

"O-Okay. Thank you very much." Hiki blushed again. "I… I really enjoyed talking to you." Hiki smiled, but his heartfelt heavy. He didn't want to leave, but it couldn't be helped. He walked out of the shop, grabbed his bike, and hurried home. His sister thought that he was in the garden. If she'd have known that he snuck out, she wouldn't have hesitated to rat him out and his father would have gravely punished him. While he was on his way home, Hiki thought about Howl and their conversation. His face always had that earnest expression, but when he smiled, he looked so kind and… cute. He also smelled really nice, he had big hands, and his voice was so deep and had such an interesting sound which was more intense and mesmerizing when he wasn't talking through a phone… Hiki shook his head to clear his thoughts. Why did he feel so drawn to this stranger? He had never experienced feelings like that before. But Hiki was in a severe hurry, so he told himself to snap out of it and focus on getting home asap.

After he was done complying with his uncle-duties, he went to his room, dropped on his bed, and looked at his phone for the first time in a while. He immediately sat up again. "A message from him…" He opened it and read:

[Ueda-kun, I'm sorry, I should have offered to drive you home. My apologies for being inconsiderate!]

[No, please don't beat yourself up, I had my bike with me anyway. But thank you, Harada-san, you're very kind.]

It took a moment until he received a reply and every second felt like an eternity.

[Ueda-kun, I want to see you again soon. There's a festival in Machida this weekend, would you like to go?]

Hiki's heart jumped and he smiled broadly at his phone's display as he typed in his answer.

[I would love to go! I have never been to a festival before.]

[Great! How about 7 pm? Can I pick you up at home?]

[Let's meet at Machida station.] Hiki didn't want a guard to tail them. He wanted to sneak out again, so the train station would be more convenient, he thought.

[Alright. Saturday at 7 p.m. at Machida station. Can't wait to see you.]

Hiki pressed his phone against his chest and blushed hard.

"Ugh, why am I so happy…?" he whispered. "Please let it be Saturday fast."


	2. Hanabi - Fireworks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
I used the japanese names for the food they're eating, because I like that better.  
Here's what they mean:
> 
> Kakigori: shaved ice with syrup  
Takoyaki: Waffle balls filled with octopus  
Karaage: fried chicken on a stick  
Yakitori: grilled chicken on a stick  
Yakisoba: A noodle dish  
Shateki booth: shooting game

Hiki was extremely excited and restless because of Harada-san's invitation to the festival. It had been two days since they had met at the Ramen place, and ever since, his chest felt like there was a little hummingbird trapped inside. He had never felt anything like that before. There was something about that man that drew Hiki to him from the very first moment they met. The day after Howl had invited him, he had received a message from him saying that something came up at the office and he would have to work late, for the time being, so he wouldn't be able to talk on the phone. They still exchanged messages from time to time, but Hiki started to miss him. He was a little overwhelmed by all those unknown feelings, so he sought the advice of his little brother and his childhood friend. Hajime and he were only one year apart, Kaito was the same age as him and the three of them had always been very close. Kaito's father was working as a janitor for their family, and after his mother had passed when he was five years old, he had to bring him to work. The Ueda estate was outside of the town and there were only three other houses close by. All of them were the property of Hiki's father and they were used as housing for his staff. The next kindergarten in town was far away, so Hiki's father gave his permission to bring Kaito since they had a Nanny anyway. So the three of them grew up together and became best friends. Two years ago, their dynamic changed a little bit though. Suddenly Kaito didn't come over as often as before and after some back and forth it had turned out that he had developed a crush on Hajime. Fortunately, Hajime felt the same for him and the two of them became a couple. Hiki sighed loudly when he thought back to the mess they had been in. He had helped them sort things out and he obviously had done a good job, even though he himself had never been in a relationship before or even had a crush on someone. He thought that it was probably easier for a third party to see things more clearly than the people concerned. He hoped that they might be able to do the same for him now. To evaluate the situation from a more neutral perspective. Since Hajime and Kaito had been in a fight a few days prior and needed time to make up, he had retreated to give them some space, but he couldn't hold back anymore. He walked over to Hajime's room and knocked on his door. He heard loud laughter, so they were obviously over it. Hiki was relieved and opened the door after Hajime had told him to come in.

"Guys, I… Uhm, what are you doing?"

Hajime was lying on his bed and Kaito sat on his lap with a feverish red, sweaty face.

"If this is a bad time, I'll just come back later…"

"No, no, it's fine, Hiki! Come in," Kaito said as he climbed off of his boyfriend.

"We just were in a tickle war," Hajime added.

"I won," Kaito announced proudly.

"You did not," Hajime protested.

"Shut up, you just surrendered!"

"I was bluffing."

"Ha, as if! I'm the winner, I demand my reward!"

"Your reward is my reward too, though..."

"Um… Maybe I should leave you guys alone, you seem busy…" Hiki turned around to leave, but Kaito jumped up, grabbed his arm, dragged him over to the small sofa across the bed and pushed him down before he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry, Hiki." He turned around and glared at Hajime. "We'll continue this later, my friend." Hajime grinned.

"Okay, now tell us what's going on. We've noticed your strange behavior in the past couple of days. You seemed more distant than usual. We had the feeling that you needed some alone time, so we didn't ask you, but…"

"It's obviously because of that cookie guy. Did he say something mean? I'll crush him!"

"No, he didn't!" Hiki waved around with his arms hectically. "It's just that… The other day when I went to Ramen Jiji, I met him there."

"I knew it, he's a stalker!"

"Shut up and let him talk, Hajime, jeez. Continue Hiki."

"He's not a stalker. He had an appointment at one of father's offices. He hired Harada-san's Computer Company, so he was here in Machida and went to Jiji's to have lunch. He invited me to eat with him and we talked and talked… it was fun and it felt great to talk to him again. We hadn't done that since I had that cold. But then I had to leave because Harumi needed a babysitter. Later that day he sent me a message and asked me out…"

"He asked you out? On a date," Hajime shouted.

"No no, I didn't mean it like that! He asked me to go to the festival with him. Just… as friends… He didn't use the word date or even implied that it will be one."

"Sounds like fun, so why do you look sad," Kaito asked.

"I'm not sad. The thing is that... I feel for him very strongly, but I'm not sure if that's just because we get along so great, or…" He sighed frustrated.

"Hiki, we're friends, right?"

Hiki nodded. "Of course we are."

"I want you to close your eyes."

"Okay…" Hiki did so.

"Good. And now imagine I would kiss you."

"Eh?"

"Keep your eyes shut!"

"Hey, Kai," Hajime protested.

"Shhht. Hiki, imagine that I would approach you and kiss you on the lips."

Hiki frowned, but played along. "...Mhh… Nope, I don't like this, it's weird ...Ew," he shook his head with a disgusted expression on his face.

"Okay, rude, thank you."

Hajime broke out in laughter. "Niichan, your expression is priceless, hahaha!"

"Shut it, Hajime!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please proceed," he giggled.

"Tch. Okay, Hiki. Close your eyes again. Good. Now imagine Harada-san."

"Huh? No, I d-"

"Imagine him standing in front of you. He caresses your cheek and slowly leans over to kiss you…" Kaito and Hajime were staring at Hiki in anticipation.

But instead of looking disgusted, he suddenly blushed intensely. His stomach felt as if he was on a roller coaster, his heart was beating fast and the palms of his hands got sweaty. He opened his eyes and they widened in shock at his realization. "That... wasn't gross…"

"Whoa, Niichan, you're red as a strawberry!"

"You're head over heels for that man, aren't you," Kaito asked smiling.

Hiki nodded slowly. "What am I gonna do," he whispered and covered his face with his hands.

"Don't panic, okay? This isn't necessarily a bad thing…" Kaito tried to comfort him.

"It is, though! It's really bad. This is the first time in my life that I have such feelings for someone, and it happens to be a straight man who's just trying to build up a friendship. This is just great. What a mess..." Hiki muffled into his palms.

"I honestly had no idea that you had such tendencies, Niichan."

"Me neither," Hiki whined.

"Maybe it runs in the family, heh."

"This isn't funny, Hacchan." He let his hands slump down on his lap and stared into space for a moment. "But... now that I think about it, it's not really his gender that I feel attracted to. It's… his personality, his charisma, his voice and that soft expression on his face when he looks at me… I mean he is very good looking, but if I'd just see him without knowing him, I wouldn't feel attracted to him. Does that make sense?"

"I think it makes a lot of sense," Kaito said. "Not everyone and everything needs a label. You don't have to be gay, straight, bi, or whatever, sometimes you can just love someone for who they are. Sometimes love... is just love. People tend to over-analyze everything, in my opinion. Don't overthink this, just go with what your heart tells you."

"Mh… But what if I confess and he turns me down? And what if he never wants to see me again?" Hiki's chest tightened.

"I still think you should tell him, Hiki. Remember what your brother and I went through because neither of us had the courage to confess. Don't put yourself through that. And you would always have that 'what if' feeling. Do you think he's someone who would judge you for your feelings?"

"I don't know…" Hiki mumbled thoughtfully.

"Because if that's the case, honestly, you don't need him in your life. But he obviously likes you, or else he wouldn't want to talk to you on the phone for hours every day or even meet you. He, at the very least, likes you as a friend, so I'm sure he won't be mean or tell you to get lost. And… what if he actually returns your feelings? Hiki, you will never find out if you don't confess. You will always wonder and you will suffer. Unrequited love is the worst."

"Kai is right. And even if he doesn't want to see you again, you will get over it in time and you'll forget him."

"You're such a blockhead sometimes, Hajime. How could he ever forget his first love? Tch."

"I was just trying to make him feel better, okay…"

"What about you guys? Are you gay?"

"Right, we never really talked about it, huh… I for myself can say that I'm indeed full-blown gay and I know that I am ever since my art teacher gave me an art book with naked men in middle school, which I studied very thoroughly, hehe. Your brother is part-time gay, though," Kaito answered bluntly.

"Part-time? Well, that's one way to put it, I guess. I like both, Niichan. Men and women. But first and foremost, I like Kai," he grinned and scooted over to his boyfriend to embrace him from behind and kissed him on the cheek. Kaito smiled peacefully. Suddenly, Hiki felt a sting in his chest. He felt envious. Not that he wasn't happy for them, but he wished for someone like that too. Would there ever be someone who'd love him like that?

Hiki got up and walked over to the door. "I have to think about what to do now. Thank you guys, talking to you helped a lot. I'll go for a walk." Hiki opened the door and left Hajime's room.

"Is he going to be okay," Hajime asked concerned.

"I'm not sure, but there's nothing more we can do, it's up to him now."

"I'm glad that we overcame this sort of stuff and are like this now."

"Mh, me too. But you should have told him about the phone call. Didn't you say that guy told you he's not sure about his feelings for Hiki?"

"Yeah, something along those lines. I don't want to raise false hope in him. He would be devastated..."

"You're probably right. But I still find it weird that he became so attached to him so quickly."

"Well, maybe they're meant for each other, who knows…"

"Huh? What's wrong with you today, you're normally not this cheesy..."

"Hey, I can be sweet and romantic too!"

"You just want to get into my pants, that's all."

"Well, I feel very comfortable there…"

"Wah, where are you touching?! Take your hands out of my- Ah! Stop that, idiot, it tickles!"

"The war isn't over yet, It's time for phase two: The conquering! Muahahaha!"

Hiki could hear their laughter as he passed by Hajime's room after he had grabbed a book from his desk and went to his favorite spot in the garden. He wanted to read a little to distract himself for a little bit. He felt like his brain needed a pause or it would explode. But he wasn't able to focus on his book at all, so he closed it frustrated and just looked at the clear sky. What should I do, he wondered. If I tell him that I have feelings for him… will he think I'm weird? Not only because we're both men, but also... after such a short time… I definitely like him more than just as a friend… Is it just a crush because he's so kind to me, or… Suddenly his phone buzzed and made him jolt. Hiki looked at his display and it was an incoming call from… him. He's gonna cancel, for sure, Hiki thought for a brief moment, but then he shook his head. What's with me being so negative today, that's not like me at all, tch. He picked up the call, but for some reason, he couldn't say anything.

"Ueda-kun...? Are you there?"

"...Y-Yeah!" Get yourself together, he scolded himself.

"Oh, okay, good. I thought my connection was too bad."

"No, I'm here."

"I don't have much time, I'm heading to a meeting right now. I'm in the car, so I thought I could use the time to call you."

Hiki's heart turned into a hummingbird again.

"Because of Saturday…"

I knew it, he's going to cancel. He probably noticed my weird behavior and-

"I'm really looking forward to it and I can't wait to see you again. It's my first festival too, so I'm excited. I'm happy that I can share this experience with you, Ueda-kun. Thank you for accompanying me."

Hiki was speechless for a moment and he felt ashamed of himself for overreacting so much. He didn't want to cancel their plans, and he was as kind as always. Hiki had finally found someone who liked him, and even though it was only as a friend, that was enough for him and more than he could have hoped for. He didn't want to ruin everything, so in that moment he decided not to confess his feelings to Harada-san.

"I'm looking forward to it as well. Thank you for taking me, it's an honor to go to your first festival with you. We can do all the games at the play booths and you have to try the food! There's nothing better than festival food."

"Except for your cookies."

"Oh… Thank you…" Hiki blushed.

"Alright, Ueda-kun, I have to hang up the phone now. See you on Saturday. Please be safe and don't catch another cold."

"Hehe, alright, I'll do my best. You be safe too, don't overwork yourself.

They hang up, Hiki leaned back against the tree and sighed. Being friends is fine, Hiki thought.

During all the time they had talked on the phone, it never got boring, and although Hiki sometimes caught himself babbling about stupid things that were probably dull for Howl, he never showed it. That man always seemed interested in what Hiki said. Hiki could tell, because he never got standard answers he usually got from others in the past. Howl always was in a conversation with him, it was never one-sided. And he himself had told Hiki so much about him. Very personal things. And he was such a multilayered, interesting man. Hiki loved listening to his weird and funny stories about his clients and he had talked so much about his twin sister, Hiki felt like he knew her… sometimes it also felt like he had known Howl for years. Having him as a friend would be more than he could ask for. He wanted to develop their friendship and probably just thought he had a crush on him because he was happy that finally someone recognized him, accepted him and wanted to be around him. Thinking about it, he realized that his heart had felt empty for a long time now. When was the last time he had felt genuinely happy? He didn't know.

When Hiki was 10 years old, his beloved older brother Satoshi had died in his arms during an ambush of a rival clan. Their already mentally unstable mother completely broke down, blamed Hiki for his death and made his life a living hell ever since. Hiki had always been shy and reserved when he was around others, but after that incident, he had completely given up on social interaction. He felt like he was a danger to others and that he had lost the right of being loved. Or at least that's what manifested in his mind due to his mother's cruel words and constant hateful treatment. "You should have died that day!", "It's all your fault that everyone is sad and miserable!", "You don't deserve to be alive or to be happy!", were just some of the things she yelled when she got drunk and started beating on him. She had been physical already even before Satoshi had died, but it got much worse afterwards. It wasn't on a daily basis, but at least every one or two weeks. Standing up against her was impossible for him, though. Hiki had a dainty build and he had always been smaller than other boys his age, but even if he would have been able to fight off his mother in her pure rage, he wouldn't have wanted to. He felt like he deserved it as a punishment for causing his brother's death. Because that young, sensitive boy believed everything his mother said to him. That's also a reason why he never told anyone about it. She usually did it when nobody was at home. When she was done, mostly because she was too exhausted to keep going, Hiki attended to his wounds and covered them with clothes. But it had found an end after his oldest brother Hiroki had unexpectedly come home early one day when Hiki was 13 and witnessed how she attacked him with a broomstick after she had gotten drunk once again. Hiki had rolled up into a ball like usual to at least protect his face from her attacks. Hiroki had dragged the hysterical woman out of the room and called their father. He got very angry at his wife. He didn't believe in irrational feelings or in using violence without it serving a purpose.

Hiki didn't know what he had told her, but she had never laid hands on him ever again, and apparently Hiki had been the only one she had let her anger out on. He was relieved when he heard that.

As he became older and with Hajime's and Kaito's help, he started realizing that it wasn't his fault what happened and that he had done nothing wrong. Still, self-doubt and low self-esteem stayed with him. Nowadays he avoided her as much as possible, and it was quite easy since she stayed in her room on the other side of the mansion most of the time. Whenever she took part in family dinners and alike, he stayed in his room. Though sometimes it was inevitable to be in a room together and she made sure to at least attack him with words and glares of anger and disgust whenever she got the opportunity.

He hadn't told Howl about his past yet. It was something so personal and painful, he thought that even if they'd become best friends one day, he probably wouldn't be able to talk to him about it. "Stupid shadows from the past… they can bite me," he mumbled to himself. He tried to shake off those negative feelings. After all, Hajime and Kaito were always by his side. They had stayed there through his toughest times, and even though he had pushed them away so often. One day he realized that he wasn't completely alone and that he was loved. Whether he thought that he deserved it or not. He refused to give up.

He had become strong enough to move forward and he worked hard on himself to break free. He would become a teacher and live a good life that would have made his brother proud. Satoshi was a good-hearted person everyone loved, Hiki was sure that he would have wanted him to be happy. Yet, he felt some sort of emptiness in his heart that he was longing to fill.

Hiki shuddered.

A cold breeze came up and he noticed how chilly it had become. He got up and quickly walked back to the house.

"Niichan, there you are! I just wanted to call you," Hajime greeted him as they met in the hallway.

"Is something wrong? Where's Kai?"

"Kai is in my room. The game store called me, the game I had ordered months ago had finally arrived, so I went to pick it up!" Hajime held up a plastic bag. "Let's play!" He smiled broadly.

"O-Okay!" Hiki got excited and followed his brother to his room. The three boys spent the whole night gaming.

A few days later, Saturday was finally there.

Hiki felt like he was going to burst from excitement. He had made his peace with the thought of him and Howl being friends only, but he couldn't wait to see him. He tried to distract himself by reading, but he couldn't focus at all. When he ended up reading the same paragraph for the third time, but still hadn't caught what was going on, he decided to soak in the bathtub for a while.

But that appeared as a bad idea because it gave him even more space to overthink. In the end, he racked his brain over the smallest things, like if he should wear a yukata to the festival. In the end, he went with blue jeans, a light blue hoodie, and a black fake leather jacket and tied up his long hair into a ponytail like always. Long hair was kind of a theme for the men in their family. Every man, from his father to him had long hair. And due to his already delicate appearance, it happened that he was mistaken for a girl. Hiki didn't mind that at all though. He liked his long hair and he was fine with his looks in general.

He was all set at six o'clock. He grabbed his backpack and went over to Hajime's room. Him and Kaito were playing that video game again but paused when he entered.

"Hey Hiki, you look handsome," Kaito said. "Do you have the box?"

"Thanks. Yeah, it's in my backpack." Hiki had gotten up at 5 in the morning, to sneak into the kitchen before the staff had arrived, to make fresh cookies for Howl. Although he was very interested in cooking and baking, he wasn't allowed to use the kitchen. Their chef was very strict, so in order to bake those cookies, he had to get up early and cover up his tracks completely afterwards.

"You really have some balls to use that kitchen. Chef Takashima is gonna kill you and serve you for dinner if she finds out about what you're doing," Hajime shuddered.

"I don't do it that often, but he liked my cookies so much, so…"

"I like your cookies too, but you didn't make any for me," his little brother pouted. Hiki opened his backpack and took out one of the two bento boxes that were inside.

"As if I wouldn't think of you, Hacchan." He handed him the box. "Should be enough for the both of you," he smiled.

"Awesome, thank you, Niichan!"

"Thanks, Hiki."

"Alright, I'm gonna leave now…"

"Hiki, be careful when you sneak out. It's getting dark…"

Hiki nodded.

"And Niichan, send us a text from time to time, so we'll know that you're okay. And come by my room when you're back."

"Yes, we want to know everything!"

"I will, I will. But I really have to leave now, or I'll be late. The train station isn't exactly just around the corner. Bye guys, see you later." He turned around and left.

His usual way to sneak out was through a hole in the fence at the end of their huge garden. The entrances of the house were guarded, but they knew that Hiki liked to hang out there, so they didn't even really notice him when he walked out the back door and across the big terrace. He followed the graveled path that was cutting through a very well kept lawn, past the big gravel fountain and rose bushes in the center, down to his favorite cherry tree and into the bushes. No one could see him there anymore. Their property was at the border of a forest, so no one could see that small hole in the fence from the outside, and it was also mostly covered by some bushes, so it was barely noticeable. He always had to be very careful not to get dirty or to rip his clothes, but yet again, the odds were in his favor and he managed to get through safely. He swung on his bike that he always hid behind a big tree and rushed to the station.

When he arrived there, Howl was already waiting at the main entrance. He was wearing a blue suit without a jacket, and a light blue shirt. So handsome..., Hiki thought as his heart skipped a beat. Dammit, stop that, he scolded himself. He wanted to catch his breath for a second before approaching him, but Howl had already spotted him and beckoned him over.

"Ueda-kun, good evening," he smiled warmly.

"Gooh-... Good evening, Hah-... Harada-san." Hiki panted.

"Hm? Didn't you say your father insists on a guard? Couldn't he have brought you here by car, why did you come with your bike?" Howl wondered.

"Well, I kind of... snuck out again… I wanted to be alone with you..." he mumbled.

"I didn't say anything last time when we met at that Ramen place, because I didn't want to sound patronizing, but isn't it too dangerous for you to sneak out and wander around by yourself? I'm worried something might happen to you, Ueada-kun… especially at this hour."

"It's fine, please don't worry, Harada-san," Hiki tried to reassure him.

"Mhh… If you say so… But I will drive you home. No objections."

"O-Okay," Hiki was flustered by his concern.

"Well then, let's get in the car, it's too far to walk from here."

Hiki's heart was pounding during the short drive. The car was filled with Howl's scent and he was sitting so close... He tried his best to stay calm. He's just a friend, he reminded himself again and again.

It didn't take long for them to arrive. Howl parked the car and they had to walk through a small forest to get to the festival grounds. The sun was setting and the scenery was flooded in atmospheric orange light. Hiki spotted the first booths from afar and he got so excited, he couldn't hold back anymore.

"Oh, there it is!!" He shouted. "I wonder what kinds of booths there will be this year! They will have a lot of food stalls again, you're gonna love the festival food! And sweets! I love sweets like cotton candy, candied apples, Dango… I wonder if they have Kakigori already since it's not summer yet... Last year they didn't, but maybe this year��� Oh and you should try a lottery game! The prizes are mostly trash, but it's fun... There are so many things I want you to try! It's the first festival of the year, it's special. Normally I go with Hacchan and Kai, but I'm happy to be here with you this year," he sparkled.

Howl chuckled. "I feel like this is going to be an exciting night."

Hiki blushed while looking down shyly. "I'm sorry, I went a little overboard again, didn't I..." He laughed at me, I'm making a fool out of myself, he thought embarrassed.

"I like your enthusiasm, Ueda-kun. It's very refreshing and also contagious, so don't apologize, please. And don't hold back when you're with me, okay? I'm very excited as well because I'm here with you." He smiled at Hiki.

"O-Okay…" Hiki felt very relieved and returned his smile. That man was so open-minded and kind and sweet, of course, he wouldn't judge Hiki for being an overly excited dork. Of course, he would reassure him so he wouldn't feel bad about himself. Hiki's heart throbbed and he immediately reminded himself: We're friends. He's a great friend. That's it.

They finally arrived at the booths. The air was filled with all kinds of luscious smells and there were lots of people. Kids were running around in their little yukata, shooting at each other with water guns, laughing and squealing, the murmur of the crowd was mixed with sizzling sounds from the food stands and various melodies from the carousels and game booths. The atmosphere was great, and Hiki's eyes wandered around restlessly, trying not to miss anything, Howl enjoyed watching him.

"Ueda-kun, are you hungry," Howl suddenly asked after he noticed that Hiki unconsciously had placed his hand on his stomach.

"Huh? Oh… I guess," Hiki realized. "I skipped dinner…"

Howl looked at his watch. "It's almost nine already. You should eat something. What do you feel like having?"

"Hmm… maybe... Takoyaki... or...Karaage? Or maybe Yakitori? Oh, or Yakisoba! Ahh, there's so much delicious food... I should just pick something from the nearest stall. But the sitting areas are kinda crowded, maybe I should wait for a li-...wah!"

Suddenly Howl grabbed Hiki's wrist and dragged him away to a narrow path behind the festival ground. Hiki's heart was beating fast as he realized that they almost held hands!

It had become dark already, and only the lights from the festival illuminated the path. Howl lead Hiki to a bench.

"Ueda-kun, please sit down and wait here for me, okay? I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Uhm, okay..." He did as he was told and Howl headed back to the fair. Hiki didn't know what he was planning, but now that he had been aware of it, he had become even more hungry. He wanted to distract himself until Howl came back, so he took his phone and sent a message to the group chat he was in with Kaito and his brother.[

[Everything's okay.]

[Finally you're texting!] Kai replied. [We were getting worried. Are you okay? Is it fun, or is it awkward?]

[I'm having fun. They have a lot of new boots this year, make sure to go with Hacchan too! And Harada-san is really cool.]

[Good to hear that! Tell us everything later when you're back home. Be safe!]

[Will do, ttyl]

Hiki sighed happily.

"Ohoho, what do we have here? Such a cutie," an unfamiliar voice suddenly said.

Because he was typing, Hiki hadn't noticed the three men that were passing by. They reeked of alcohol.

"Huh?"

"Rude little bitch, you should thank me for complimenting you. Girls these days have no manners." One of them grunted. That guy was massive.

"I'm not a girl," Hiki answered calmly.

"You're a guy? Ahahahahaa, you've gotta be shitting me." He staggered towards Hiki and was now standing in front of him, his two friends on his left and right.

"I'm not. And even if I was, you shouldn't be talking to a girl like that." Hiki was severely annoyed by these drunkards.

"You little bastard, I could crush you with my little finger, who do you think you are?!" he grabbed Hiki by the collar of his sweater and pulled him up, but he immediately reacted and used his arm to wipe off that guy's hand.

"Whoa that was quick, did you see that? He totally fought you off," the guy on the right said in awe.

"Gyahahaha! That was weak Matsu. Getting fought off by such a wimpy guy," the other one cackled. That his friends were making fun of him, pissed him off even more.

"As if I'm gonna get defeated by this little fucker!" He grabbed Hiki by his collar again and raised his other fist. Crap, no way that move is going to work again, Hiki thought and squinted his eyes, expecting a punch in the face...

"Hey, asshole... Don't you dare to touch him. Let go of him, now," a dark voice suddenly growled from behind, followed by a rustling noise. The three drunkards turned around.

"Harada-san!" Hiki was worried that they would attack him too, but at the same time, he was relieved to see him.

"Who the fuck are you? Fuck the hell off," the big one yelled, his fist still ready to strike.

"Let go of him and scram!" Howl's voice became even more threatening and the menacing expression on his face made even Hiki shudder.

"Come on Matsu, let's go. 'S not worth it," one of his sidekicks said.

"Yeah, let's leave and get more Sake," the other one agreed. Both started walking away from the scene.

"Tch." He glared at Hiki, roughly shoved him down onto the bench, and followed his friends.

"Ueda-kun, are you okay!?" Howl hurried over and sat down next to him. He took Hiki's chin and examined his face.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Hiki swallowed. He was so close and his hand felt so warm...

"I'm so sorry for leaving you here," Howl said with a gentle voice.

"I… I'm fine... really. Nothing happened." Hiki's heart was pounding.

"Good…..." They stayed like this for a moment and looked each other into their eyes before Howl let go of Hiki's chin and got up. He walked over to where he had come from and picked up two big plastic bags from the ground. He brought them to Hiki and spread out their content on the bench.

"Harada-san, what did you-… Wow, so much food! But…" Hiki was speechless.

"Well, it's my first fair, so why not just try everything." He smiled, proud of his idea. "And it's not that crowded over here, it's nice to have some privacy, right? I hope you don't mind that we kind of left the festival."

"Not at all! That's very thoughtful of you, thank you Harada-san." Hiki was too happy for words. Because of the incident with those strangers, he had forgotten how hungry he was, but he remembered as soon as he saw at all those mouth-watering dishes. There was everything he had been craving earlier, and more!

"Thanks for the food!" Hiki said and they dug in.

"Dif if fou goog, Hawada-fun," he munched.

Howl chuckled. "Yes, it's delicious. We can try some sweets later, too."

Hiki remembered the cookies, but his mouth was too stuffed to answer, so he just turned around, opened his backpack, handed him the box, and smiled with his puffed cheeks.

Howl thought he was looking like a hamster and chuckled. "What is this?"

"Iff fo yuh!" He swallowed. "Open it, I made them this morning. You said you liked them right?"

Howl opened the box and the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies was rising to his nose. "Ohhh! Your cookies! Thank you, Ueda-kun! That's better than any festival food," he smiled wholeheartedly.

Hiki blushed. "M-My pleasure," he replied shyly and continued eating. He tried everything Howl had brought for him. He couldn't even determine a favorite, everything was absolutely delicious.

"Jeez, I'm so full... Thanks for the meal! But... there are so many leftovers…" Hiki noticed after they were done.

"You can take them home and eat them tomorrow." Howl proposed.

"Th-Thank you, Harada-san. But I don't want to eat them by myself… It wouldn't taste as good." Hiki admitted hesitantly and blushed.

"Right… Then, how about we meet again tomorrow and eat them together," he suggested. "We can buy something for dessert later as well because let's be real those cookies won't survive the night."

"Sure, I'd love to!" Hiki sparkled overjoyed.

"But no sneaking out again, it's too risky. You'll tell a guard to drive you or something, okay?"

"Okay! That sounds great!" Hiki was ecstatic. He was really going to visit his place! It was fine for Hiki to have a guard with him in that case, because he would wait in the car and not be in the apartment with them. And he appreciated Howl's concern.

They packed everything up and headed back to the festival, where they continued to have a blast together. Hiki managed to catch two goldfishes but wasn't sure what to do with them

"I'll just put them back," he said, but Howl stopped him.

"Wait, I have a tank at home. I can keep them there if you like. You can come to visit them at any time." He smiled.

Hiki nodded. "Thank you, Harada-san!" He returned his smile.

"You can call me Howl. There's no need to be so formal."

Hiki's heart skipped a beat. "H-... Howl-san..." He blushed intensely. Calm down, he thought. It's probably completely normal for friends to call each other by first names, there is no deeper meaning behind it.

Howl chuckled. "Okay, if you insist on the San, I'll let you use it for now. Then, can I call you Hikaru?"

"S-Sure… Although… Only my father calls me Hikaru. Just Hiki is fine."

"Does someone call you that," he asked.

"Yeah, everyone except for my father uses it."

"I don't want to call you Hiki either, then."

Hiki looked at him confused, so Howl explained: "Let's just say that I want to be special to you." Howl grinned and Hiki blushed even deeper. He means that he wants to be a special friend to you, what are you blushing for, idiot, he scolded himself.

"How about I call you Hikkun? Would that be okay?"

"Y-Yeah!" Hiki smiled broadly. He sure felt special at that moment.

They kept walking and at a Shateki booth Howl shot a little black cat plush for Hiki who swore himself to treasure it forever. Afterwards they munched their way through the sweets stalls, where they also got some take away for the next day. Hiki had noticed that Howl kept looking at his watch. Just as he wondered why and if he was bored and wanted to go home, Howl said: "Hikkun, it's time, come on, this way! Hurry!" and started to walk faster. He was almost running, Hiki had a hard time keeping up with his pace and he was confused as to where Howl was taking him, but he followed him diligently. They left the festival ground and followed a graveled path that lead through the park the festival took place at. "When I had some free time after an appointment with your father the other day, I came to this park to take a walk to clear my mind," he huffed as they left the path and walked through the woods. "I was lost in thought and walked past the park's border into this little forest and found this place…" Howl explained as they arrived at a big glade. It was a remote area, so there was no one there, and they had a perfect view of the night sky from there. It was a full moon and the stars were shining bright. Howl put down the bags with their food and their prizes.

"I'm glad we made it in time," he smiled.

"Hara… Howl-san, why did you bring me here?" Hiki asked, still confused. Howl looked at his watch again.

"Ah, it's midnight... Look," he pointed up.

Suddenly lights started flashing, followed by loud bangs and crackling sounds. The sky sparkled in all kinds of colors. Orange, green, yellow, red…

"Fireworks!" Hiki stared at it with the brightest smile on his face and his eyes wide opened in awe. It was the first time he saw one in real life, and not only on TV, since he had never stayed long enough at a festival. He was stunned. "It's so beautiful! Look, Howl-san!"

"Yes, it's breathtaking…"

Hiki looked over to Howl, but he wasn't looking at the fireworks, he was fixated on Hiki.

"But you're not looking… You're gonna miss out on it…"

"Ahhh, what a pain." Howl suddenly growled. "I can't do this, it's impossible."

Hiki was shocked. "Did… Did I do something wrong?" He suddenly became anxious. "Was I overreacting again? It must be annoying, sorry, I'll be quiet so you can enjoy the fireworks," he said with a worried expression. He felt horrible for ruining the moment and wanted to just vanish into thin air.

"Hikkun… I can't hold back anymore. I'm so sorry, I don't want to ruin this blooming relationship with you, but…"

Hiki panicked. Howl would tell him that he didn't want to see him again. He probably had been too much of a bother making him take care of those fish and dragging him from one booth to another all night, babbling about stupid things like an idiot. How could he have expected that someone like Howl would want to be friends with such a weirdo like him. But before he would never see him again, he wanted to at least get one thing off of his chest.

"Howl-san,..."

"Hikkun,…" they both started simultaneously and continued with a passionate:

"I LIKE YOU!" at the moment the fireworks had stopped.

"Wait, what?" Hiki took a step backwards. "You like me? I thought you were about to break all ties with me... And I thought we're just friends…"

"Hikkun, why would I break all ties with the most amazing person I've ever met?! We are friends and I don't want to ruin everything, but I just can't help my feelings... I like you. I really, really like you, and not in a friendly way, but in a romantic way. I think it was love at first sight, but I had never felt anything like that before, so I had to sort out my feelings and think about what I wanted to do. I came to the conclusion that it would be better to have you as a friend than to confess and get turned down, but I can't suppress my feelings for you, they're too strong. I just hope you'll understand and I will try my hardest to be a good friend, I promise!"

"B-But didn't you listen? I like you too! I'm the same! I feel the same way and I was thinking the same!" Hiki couldn't help but laugh and at the same time he teared up. "Look at us… we're such idiots."

"We are, but we're lucky idiots because our feelings are mutual…" Howl smiled, placed his big, warm hand on his cheek, and carefully wiped a tear from the corner of Hiki's eye with his thumb. "Is it okay if I kiss you?"

Hiki flushed and nodded softly. His heart was in his mouth and his palms became sweaty as Howl's face came closer. He froze and his mind went blank. He could feel Howl's hot breath on his skin right before their lips touched. After a few seconds they parted with a soft smack, Howl left another kiss on Hiki's forehead and embraced him lovingly. Hiki could feel Howl's heartbeat, and it was just as fast as his own. He reflexively returned the gesture and clung onto him, his face buried into Howl's chest.

Hiki couldn't believe it. He was so overwhelmed because he didn't think it was possible for Howl to like him "in that way"... But of course, he was the happiest person on earth.

"It's funny…" Howl suddenly started speaking, still holding Hiki tightly. "I never believed in love at first sight and actually, I never believed in love itself. But here I am now… head over heels for you. And I promise I'll do my very best to make you happy, Hikkun."

"And I never thought that someone would ever fall in love with me, but here you are. I think I'm the happiest I've ever been right now. And you even took my first kiss." Hiki tightened his grip. Hiki had never felt so safe and loved in his life before.

"I want to take all your firsts and all your lasts."

They both stayed like that for a while, silent, only listening to their hearts beating in unison.


	3. Zenreki - Their pasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
Genkan: The place at the entrance door where you take off and leave your shoes in Japan before entering someone's home.  
Wakame: Algae salad

Hiki was on cloud nine after their kiss. Howl had brought him home, but he dropped him off at a secure distance, so they wouldn't be spotted.

"Goodnight, Howl. Thank you for all the wonderful memories." He blushed but smiled.

"My pleasure," Howl answered, returning his smile. He caressed Hiki's cheek, lifted his head, and kissed him again. He then walked over to the trunk and took out Hiki's bike. Hiki took it and pushed it over to the bushes where he usually hid it. He sighed deeply and wished they wouldn't have to part. "Goodnight, Hikkun," he whispered. "Be safe, see you tomorrow."

He nodded dazed, turned around, and walked towards the bushes to slip back into the garden through that hole in the fence. They didn't even exchange deep kisses, but that man's lips bedazzled him completely. On his way through the huge garden back to the house Hiki replayed their date in his mind. Suddenly he stopped walking, blushed hard, and covered his face with his hands. "We kissed...! Twice!!" He squealed silently. He wanted to jump around and scream, but he pulled himself together and continued walking.

Hajime and Kaito were already waiting for him and the moment he entered Hajime's room, the two of them bombarded him with questions.

"How was it?"

"Did you have fun?"

"Did you bring souvenirs?"

"Did he try anything?"

"Did you confess to him?"

"Are you going to meet again?"

"Jeez guys, I literally just arrived, give me a second." He decided to tease them a little and took off his jacket slowly, slowly hung it over a chair, placed the bags with the snacks from the festival on the desk, rummaged around in them for a bit with no reason, and then he slowly sat down and sighed.

"Niichaaaaaaan!!" Hajime whined.

"Oh, come on Hiki!" Kaito protested.

Hiki giggled amused. "Alright, alright."

He told them everything that had happened in detail from the moment Howl had picked him up at the station. How he bought all the food for him, that he offered to take care of his goldfish and how awesome he was throughout the night. But he left out that incident with those drunkards because he didn't want them to worry. Then, he finally reached the part with the fireworks. "I seriously thought he would end our friendship when he said that he couldn't do this anymore and I panicked… and… confessed to him."

"NO WAY," Hajime shouted.

"What, really? What did he say? How did he react," Kaito asked excitedly.

"You guys won't believe it… He confessed at the exact same moment! We literally said it at the same time!" Hiki's cheeks were glowing. "...And then he kissed me!!" He covered his blushing face with his hands.

"Whoa, seriously? Nii-chan, you're so lucky!" Hajime yelled.

"He kissed me again when he dropped me off and tomorrow I'll go to his place," Hiki muffled into his hands, peeking through his fingers.

"I'm relieved, Hiki. I was so worried that this might end badly for you," Kaito said earnestly.

Hiki took down his hands.

"Yeah, same for me, Nii-chan. I don't want you to go through any more hardships, you've had enough of those for three lives. I'm happy that he feels the same for you. I wanna meet him!"

"No way! Not yet. I mean, tomorrow will kind of be our first official date...How weird… I feel like I've known him my entire life."

"Maybe you're soulmates," Hajime said and nodded.

Hiki smiled dreamily. "Anyhow, I brought some sweets for you guys," he changed the topic. The two boys rejoiced as he handed them various treats from the festival. They ate and talked until they became sleepy, but Hiki had a hard time falling asleep because his heart just wouldn't calm down.

On the next day, one of the guards drove Hiki to Howl's condominium in Tokyo. He didn't like having to ask him, but he had promised Howl that he wouldn't sneak out. Ever since Hiki had left the path of becoming a yakuza, his father's men mostly ignored him and hated 'babysitting' him, as they called it. But Hiki was super nervous and excited about visiting Howl's place and wondered what it would look like, so he didn't waste many thoughts on that.

"Are you sure this is the correct address? This looks like an office building and not an apartment building," his guard asked as they stopped in front of a big skyscraper.

"Um, yeah. That's the address he gave me. Just let me jump out right here, it's fine…"

The buff man unlocked his door and Hiki got out. "I'll pick you up at eight."

Hiki nodded, grabbed two plastic bags from the backseat, and walked over to the huge glass door, but there were no doorbells, so he just walked inside. He stepped into a spacey, noble-looking entrance hall with four elevators on the right and a large reception desk on the left. A tall man was standing next to the elevators; Hiki assumed he was the lift boy or something like that. There was also a waiting area with black leather seats and polished chrome elements and the floor was covered in black marvel.

"Can I help you, Sir?" A friendly voice, coming from behind the desk echoed through the empty hall.

"Oh, uhm..." Hiki approached the receptionist, a smiling, young-looking woman with short black hair.

"It's Sunday, so the offices are closed, you know? Maybe you should come back tomorrow."

"My name is Ueda, I-I'm here to visit Harada-san. He gave me this address… Do you know where I can find him?" Hiki thought that Howl might have had some work to do, so he wanted to meet him at his office. He was a little disappointed since he was looking forward to seeing his home.

"Ah, Harada-san. You can find him on the top floor. Excuse me for a moment." She leaned to the left and called out to the lift boy. "Ando-san, this young man wants to visit Harada-san. Would you take him upstairs, please?"

"Sure," the man of stately size replied briefly. "Follow me."

Hiki nodded and walked over to the elevator the short-worded man had stepped in front of. The door opened and they walked inside. He then opened a little cap above the buttons for the floors that hid a small number panel. He glared at Hiki, who quickly averted his eyes. Hiki could hear seven beep sounds as he typed in a number, and the elevator started moving upwards. The silver-colored doors opened when they had reached the 38th floor. "Over there," the man grunted and pointed to the left.

"Th-Thank you," Hiki bowed and rushed out into the hallway that was completely covered in the same black marble that was used for the floor in the entrance hall. Hiki's heart was beating fast. On the left was a white entrance door with a number panel right next to the doorbell and no visible keyhole. On the opposite side was an office door made of glass, but the office looked empty. "This is all so weird," Hiki said to himself. He was just about to knock when the door suddenly opened.

"Hi," Howl greeted him, smiling. Hiki's heart skipped a beat.

"H-Hi," he blushed, excited, and happy to see him.

"Come in. Please make yourself at home."

Hiki stepped inside and took his shoes off at the genkan before he noticed the size of Howl's apartment. "Wow, it's so spacious," he gasped. The genkan was connected to a short hallway. At the end of it was a huge room that, telling by the furniture, was serving as both living room and dining room. There wasn't much furniture in it though. There were only some black cupboards, a big fish tank, and a small table with two chairs on the right, and on the left, there was a small, black leather sofa, a coffee table made of glass, and a flat-screen TV hanging on the wall. Everything was black leather with chrome, like in the entrance hall. On the right side were another corridor and several rooms branched off from there.

"I thought we would meet at your office, I didn't expect you to live here when I realized that this is an office building."

"This was an office once too, but I thought it would be more convenient to live in the same building I work in, so I asked the owners if they would sell the whole floor to me so I could build a condominium. After some bargaining, they eventually agreed. As soon as I got permission for the construction works, this part of the floor was converted into an apartment, and the rest is still an office. I don't need that much space, and I'm not sure what to do with it yet, so I'll just leave it as it is for now," he explained as they walked over to the sofa and Hiki sat down. "Do you want anything? Water? Tea?"

Hiki shook his head. "No, thanks, I'm good. This is really amazing, Howl…"

Howl sat down in the armchair next to the sofa.

"Well, if I have a goal, I give my all to achieve it. The constructions were done pretty fast. I hired the company of my assistant's son and they did a great job. How about I show you around before we start eating?"

Hiki nodded. "Yes, please. I would love to see everything," he smiled, they got up and he followed Howl.

"Well, this is obviously the living room with the little dining area over there. Oh and the fish tank. Your goldfish are still in quarantine to see if they're healthy. Because if they have any diseases, they would infect my other fish."

"Oh, I see. It's very pretty, I think they will love it there," Hiki smiled.

Howl chuckled. "Over there is the kitchen. It's pretty minimalistic, though," Howl said as they walked over. "The big service hatch was the architect's idea." Howl shrugged and pointed at a huge opening in the wall right next to the kitchen entrance. Hiki was still in total awe over the size of Howl's condo.

"Why don't you place a dining table in front of the hatch?" he asked.

"Well, I hate to cook, so I rarely do it. I mostly eat out or order in and that other dining table is already a waste since I just eat on the sofa while working or watching TV... Eating alone is no joy anyway, just a necessity," Howl answered.

"I love to cook, but since we have a chef, I don't get the opportunity to do it often. She's very possessive over her kitchen, but sometimes I sneak in at night and bake or cook small meals for Hacchan, Kaito, and myself," Hiki explained.

"I see… That's too bad. You can use this kitchen whenever you want."

"R-Really?"

"Sure, why not? You'll probably be here often once Uni starts since T-Uni is right around the corner. Plus…" Howl leaned over and kissed Hiki softly on the lips. "I would love to eat your meals."

Hiki blushed flustered and stuttered: "O-O-Okay! Th-Thank you!"

Howl grinned and they moved on to the long corridor. On the left side, there was only one door. He opened it. "This is the master bedroom. Those two doors over there are leading to the dressing room and a bathroom." He closed the door and they walked over to the next room on the other side. "This is the guest room. I never have guests anyway, so it's actually just a storage room. And the next room is my home office, and this is another bathroom," Howl explained as they walked from room to room. "Oh, and the room at the end of the hallway is another useless storage room. That's it. So, what do you think?" Howl asked after they had settled down on the sofa again. Howl sat next to Hiki this time.

"Uhm… Well I think it's great, it's spacious and so bright, due to those huge windows, I mean the view is absolutely amazing from up here, but… it seems so… unlike you. I'm sorry for being so blunt, I don't mean to be rude..."

"It's fine, I want you to always be honest with me."

"Well… the interior gives off such a clinical feeling. It's like in the entrance hall. I feel like… it's missing something…"

Howl went silent for a moment while looking around. Hiki became more nervous with every second.

"You're right, Hikkun. You see, it doesn't really feel like a home to me. The planning was fun and all, but after I moved in, I realized that such a big apartment can make you feel very lonely if you live by yourself. That's why I spend most of the time at work and I only come here to eat, sleep and shower. To be honest, sometimes I feel a little lost here," Howl admitted. Hiki's heart throbbed. He followed an impulse and hugged Howl tightly.

"I don't know if I'm enough, but if you're okay with it, I'll come here as often as I can," he promised. "You're not alone anymore, you have me now."

Howl smiled fondly and hugged him back. "Thank you, Hikkun..."

Hiki loosened his grip and looked at him. Their eyes met and Howl moved in to aim for a kiss when all of a sudden Hiki's stomach started growling very loudly. He jolted and blushed. "Jeez… way to ruin the mood, huh…"

Howl laughed out loud, which startled Hiki. It was the first time he had heard him laugh wholeheartedly and to him, it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

"I'd better heat up the festival leftovers, sounds like you're about to starve and I can't let that happen, or I'll be alone again." He kissed Hiki on the forehead and got up. "Oh, did you bring the sweets we got for dessert? I think we accidentally left them in the bags with the stuff you had for your brother and your friend."

"Yeah, they're in those bags." Hiki pointed at the plastic bags he had left at the genkan.

"Great, just wait here, I'll be right back." Howl walked over, grabbed the bags, and took them to the kitchen.

"Can I help?" Hiki asked as he showed up at the kitchen entrance.

"You're my guest, so just relax on the sofa."

"But… Aren't we… I mean… We're a couple now, right?" Hiki blushed, looked down, and fumbled nervously on his shirt's bottom hem. "That means I'm not a guest..."

"You're right, Hikkun. Please get the rice from the rice cooker and put it in the bowl over there. There's also Wakame in the fridge."

"Okay," Hiki sparkled and joined Howl in the kitchen.

They placed everything on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa to enjoy their meal while watching a funny movie.

"Haaa… I'm so full," Howl moaned after they had finished eating and leaned back.

"Me too. We ate so much, we finished almost all of it, including the sweets. I'm stuffed like a sushi roll…" Hiki huffed.

Howl chuckled upon that weird comparison. "Hikkun, come here..." Howl gestured Hiki to move closer. His heart started beating faster as he leaned closer to him and snuggled against him. S-So close, he thought excited. Howl placed his arm around his shoulders. Hiki had never felt so warm and safe in his life before… They sat like that for a while, until Howl broke the silence.

"You know what? I feel like having something sweet again."

"Huh? But we just had dessert…"

Howl placed his hand on Hiki's chin and gently lifted his head. "I'm not talking about food," he said silently and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Hiki was happy.

"Hikkun, can we try something?"

"Hm?"

"I would like to… give you a more mature kiss. You told me yesterday that it was your first kiss, so I don't just want to do it without your consent."

"Y-You mean a French kiss?" He blushed. "It's fine! I want to do more… but… It's just that… I don't know how it works," he stuttered shyly. "I… I'm nervous…"

Howl smiled. He couldn't wrap his head around how cute Hiki was and he had to hold back very hard not to eat him up. "Well, practice makes perfect, right? The more we practice, the better you'll get, and I think we should start right now. Are you okay with that, my young pupil?"

Hiki giggled and nodded, and his heart skipped a beat as Howl came closer again. "Open your mouth a little," he whispered right before their lips touched. Hiki followed his order diligently. He closed his eyes and felt Howl's warm tongue enter his mouth. It was searching for his, so he moved his own tongue towards it and huffed as they entwined. At first, he was a little shy in his movements, but after a few minutes he got the hang of it and their kiss became more passionate. Howl placed his big hand on Hiki's neck.

"Mh… Haa…" he moaned, aroused. The excitement was almost too much. That tingling sensation he felt in his chest moved down to his hips and his whole body felt warm. They kept practicing for quite some time and Hiki wished it would never end. To be so close to this man he loved so much was pure bliss. Suddenly Howl's hand slowly slid underneath his shirt and he reflexively pushed him away.

"No!"

Howl looked at him puzzled.

"Ah… I'm sorry! I didn't mean to push you!"

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I got a little carried away. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine..." At that moment Hiki's phone started ringing and he quickly picked it up. "Yes. Okay, I'm coming." He hung up with a sad expression on his face. "I have to leave, my driver's waiting."

"Dammit, I wanted to practice more. Alright, I guess it can't be helped, we'll have to continue another day. I'll escort you to the elevator." They got up and Hiki put on his coat and shoes and stepped into the hallway.

"I love you, Hikkun," Howl said with a soft voice as they were waiting for the escalator to arrive. "I understand that you have no experience at all, so rest assured that I won't make a move until you're ready. I want to give you all the time you need to adjust to the situation and to get used to this. To get used to me."

"Howl, I-" The elevator interrupted him. The door opened and he stepped inside, turned around, and looked at Howl. Then he suddenly leaped forward, grabbed Howl by the neck, pulled him down and French kissed him. "I love you too, Howl. So, so much." He stepped back and smiled at his lover broadly as the door closed.

"Tch, this boy is gonna cause me a lot of trouble," Howl said to himself, grinning, and went back inside his condo. He shut the door, walked over to the living room, and looked around. "I should adjust too…"

On the way home, Hiki thought about their date. He was incredibly happy when he thought about how they made out until his lips felt numb, but he still felt bad for pushing Howl away. Hiki swore to himself that he would tell him the reason as soon as he got the opportunity. He already missed him, so he took out his phone and sent Howl a text message.

[Thank you for everything, I had a lot of fun today.]

As usual, he got an instant reply.

[I had a lot of fun too. And you inspired me to renovate my apartment, so I started planning right after you left. Would you help me by giving me your opinion and picking out furniture with me? Let's try to meet up soon, I already miss you.]

[Yes, I would love to help you! I want to see you soon too. I'll be in Tokyo on Friday! I'll have a job interview at 10, but you're at the office, right?]

[We can have lunch together, I'll be free from 12 to 2. No appointments at that time and the paperwork I'd have to do can wait. Can you come to my office?]

[Okay, I'll be there at 12!]

[Looking forward to seeing you, but I'll call you tomorrow. Be safe on your way home, Hikkun. I love you.]

Hiki grinned at his phone like an idiot and replied: [I love you too]

Five days later, his guard drove him all the way to Tokyo again and he clearly wasn't happy about it, Hiki could tell by his demeanor. But he didn't really care, all he could think of was Howl and that job interview. If he would be able to get that job, he could finally move to Tokyo. That would be much more convenient when his semester started, but he would also be much closer to Howl and they could see each other more often. It wasn't his first interview, but so far he hadn't been very successful.

"H-Hello, can you please tell me on which floor I can find Harada-san's office," Hiki asked the receptionist when he arrived at the office building.

"Oh, hello, it's you again," she greeted him, smiling. "It's on the 30th. It's the whole floor, so you can't miss it."

"Thank you very much. Uhm… do I need the lift boy to take me there again," he asked insecurely.

"Oh, you mean Ando-san?" She looked over to the buff man standing next to the elevators. "He's not a lift boy, he's a guard," she giggled.

"Oh… I'm sorry, my bad," Hiki blushed.

"You won't need him this time. Harada-san's apartment is only accessible with a code for the elevator, that's why he takes guests up there. The rest of the offices don't need a code, so you can just take the elevator to the 30th floor," she explained.

"Okay, thanks. Have a nice day," Hiki bowed and walked over to the elevators. A lot of people got in and out and the hall was pretty crowded. Hiki felt uncomfortable. He usually tried to avoid crowded places due to his loner mentality. It wasn't like it scared him, it was just overwhelming. But he was planning on moving to Tokyo, so he should get used to it, was what he told himself. Although there were four elevators, he couldn't manage to get into one of them. They either were way too packed for his taste, or people kept pushing him aside. The office workers were in a rush and minded their own business, but consideration was obviously not part of it. After trying for several minutes, he sighed frustrated. He felt like an idiot.

"Hey, chibi, follow me." Ando-san had suddenly shown up next to him. Hiki did as he was told. The guard stepped into an elevator that had just arrived. Everyone made way for him, of course, no one dared to push such a big, ominous-looking guy. He pointed in front of him and Hiki followed his orders and placed himself there, safe from being shoved around.

"Next time you'll have to make it by yourself. Even though you're small and look delicate like a girl, you can't just let everyone push you around," he lectured Hiki with his deep, growling voice.

"O-Okay," Hiki answered sheepishly. "I'll do better next time."

When they reached the floor, he walked outside, turned around, bowed deeply, and smiled broadly at the guard. "Thank you very much, Ando-san, that was very kind of you."

"N-No problem, chibi." The tower blushed as the door closed.

Hiki was happy about that man's kindness, but he had to find Howl now. He followed a long corridor until he reached a big glass desk.

"How can I help you," the middle-aged, sophisticated looking man that sat at the desk asked.

"H-Hello, my name is Ueda. I'm here to see Harada-san," Hiki answered nervously.

"Oh, so you're the infamous Ueda-kun. I'm his assistant Kinsley. It's nice to meet you after listening to him rave about you day in and day out."

"H-He does that? I'm sorry…" Hiki blushed. "Wait, you're Kinsley-san? I've heard a lot about you too, hehe," Hiki smiled. He knew from Howl that he had met Kinsley at his first job and he followed him when he founded his company. Howl had told him that besides being his assistant, he was also his best friend.

Kinsley chuckled. "He's waiting for you. This door." The man pointed at the big door on his left.

"Thank you, Kinsley-san," Hiki bowed and entered the office. "Howl!" His heart jumped. He felt like they hadn't seen each other in weeks, even though they had their usual phone calls or face times every day. But of course, seeing him in person was different.

"Hikkun, you made it, I'm glad." Howl walked over to him and they kissed. Hiki always felt instantly at ease when Howl was around.

"Sorry if I'm late, but I had trouble getting into the elevator. Ando-san helped me out in the end."

"Ah yeah, it's different from Sunday when there's practically no one here except for some salarymen who have to work overtime to meet their deadlines. Those masses of people must've been pretty overwhelming, huh…" He caressed Hiki's cheek to comfort him. "In a building this big, there are a lot of people that go in and out. I hope you can get used to it…"

"Oh, I'll be fine. Ando-san said I can't let others push me around and he's right."

"Sounds like you made a new friend. He's a really good guy. He looks scary, but he's actually very nice."

"Hmm… I don't think he looks scary. He's really kind. He didn't have to help me, but he did. I'll make sure to bring him some of my homemade cookies next time. I hope he'll like them and accept them as a thank you… Don't worry, I'll bring you some too, hehe," Hiki reassured Howl, who looked a little pouty.

"Sounds great, but don't get caught. Oh, I ordered in, the delivery guy should be here soon. Now tell me all about your job interview."

"I didn't get it," he answered as they sat down on the big navy blue sofa right across from Howl's desk.

"Crap, I'm sorry to hear that, Hikkun."

"It's okay, I'll keep trying. It's only May and my first semester will start in September, so I have a little time left to find a job and an apartment. It'll be fine," he smiled optimistically.

Howl nodded. "What if..." he started, but was interrupted by someone knocking on the door. "Ah, that must be our food."

The two of them had lunch together and talked a lot about Howl's renovation plans. Howl nodded thoughtfully every time Hiki made a suggestion, it almost seemed as if he was taking notes in his mind. Time went by quickly, and Howl had to leave for an appointment. He escorted Hiki down to the hall.

"Oh, right! Howl, I completely forgot! Hajime, Kaito, and I will have a sakura picnic tomorrow. We do this every year, and… I thought… maybe you'd like to come too. It's nothing special, and we'll only have some konbini snacks since I can't use the kitchen to cook bigger meals, but they would like to meet you and… I would be happy to have you there. I know it's on short notice, and you might have to work, but I was hoping that you'd have time..."

"What time should I be there?"

Hiki's eyes widened. "At three! There's a field with a lot of cherry trees not far from our house, we always go there."

"Alright, I'll park my car at the gate and wait there for you."

Hiki nodded excitedly. Howl reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of Hiki's face and behind his ear. "See you tomorrow then, Hikkun."

"Yeah…" Hiki purred, love-drunk before he turned around and left.

Howl took his phone from his pocket to make a call. "Kinsley, cancel the meeting that was scheduled for tomorrow... I don't care if he'll be angry, just tell him that I'm down with the flu."

Hiki thought that he couldn't have been happier. He had a hard time falling asleep that night because he was just too excited. Not only would he go on a romantic sakura picnic with his boyfriend, he would also introduce him to Kaito and his brother, who were the most important people to him, so he hoped that they would get along well.

The three boys waited for Howl at the big, black iron gate in front of the Ueda estate.

"Hiki, calm down, you're super tense, you'll get a headache," Kaito warned his friend.

"I can't help it, I'm too nervous… Oh, there he is!"

Howl parked his car on the side of the narrow road and got out.

"I'm so happy that you were able to come," Hiki greeted him, sparkling.

"I hope I'm not late, there was so much traffic. Oh, you must be Hacchan-kun and Kaito-kun, nice to meet you. I'm Harada Howl, but please just call me Howl."

"My name is Hajime. Only my brother is allowed to call me Hacchan. So you're the guy who's hitting on him, huh," Hajime glared at him. "Ugh!" Kaito had rammed his elbow into Hajime's side. "Dammit Kai, that hurt!"

"Excuse him, please, he forgets his manners sometimes. I'm Kaito, Hiki's childhood friend. Nice to finally meet you, Hiki has talked about you a lot."

"It's fine, I have a sister, so I know how overprotective siblings can be."

Hiki gave his brother a 'you better get your act together' look and then turned to Howl. "I think we should go now. It's not that far from here, but it is a bit of a walk."

"Alright. Oh wait, I need to get something from the trunk." Howl walked around the car and opened it. He took out a big bag. "I hope you're hungry because I brought some food from my favorite restaurant in Tokyo."

"Oh, thank you, Howl, but you didn't have to. Though I'm actually super hungry," Hiki grinned.

"That's very generous of you, Harada-san," Kaito said and glared at Hajime.

"Th-Thanks," he muttered. "But our konbini snacks are kind of a tradition…"

"Oh, I didn't mean to meddle with your tradition, sorry about that. But Hikkun mentioned that you'd have snacks, so I only brought main dishes."

"That's very considerate of you, Harada-san. See, Hajime, we can have the main dishes first and our usual snacks later."

"...Fine."

Hiki rolled his eyes and took Howl's hand. "Come on, this way."

They started walking and followed a narrow path through the woods for a while. After ten minutes they left the forested area and arrived at open fields lined by cherry trees that were all in full bloom.

"Wow, the scenery here is breathtaking," Howl said, amazed.

"Right? And we're lucky with the weather too," Hiki smiled.

They kept walking a bit further to a narrow stream that was cutting through the landscape and spread out their blankets underneath the biggest cherry tree. Howl opened his bag and started dishing up the food he had brought.

"Okay, so these are different kinds of Sushi, here we have fried egg rice, yakitori, tamagoyaki, gyoza, onigiri, and last but not least, tempura fried shrimp."

"You brought tempura fried shrimp?" Hajime asked with widened eyes.

"Hikkun mentioned once that it's your favorite, so I wanted to bring some. I've tried theirs before and it's really good. Let me know what you think." Howl handed him the box with the delicious smelling fried seafood and Hajime immediately dug in.

"Hmmm… If dewuifof!"

"Hajime, don't talk with your mouth full," Kaito scolded him. "And leave some for us too, you glutton."

"Fowwy, hehe." Hajime's bad mood was gone in an instant.

The two couples enjoyed their meal. They had vivid conversations and got to know each other a little better. Later on, Hajime and Kaito went for a little walk. They said they wanted to stretch their legs, but Hiki assumed they simply wanted to give them some alone time… and have some of their own. Howl laid down on the blanket, his head rested on his lover's lap. Hiki gently stroked his hair with his fingers and just couldn't stop smiling.

"You look happy, Hikkun."

"Because I am. I'm happy to be here with you right now, and I'm happy that the three of you get along so well."

"Kaito is a very kind and polite person and very easy to talk to. And your brother is... one of a kind." He chuckled. "But all he wants is for you to be happy and to protect you, so we're on the same boat. I think he realized that."

"I'm very lucky to have them in my life. And now I have you too. It's almost unreal… Like a dream."

Howl gently pinched his nose.

"Ouch."

"This is real, you're not dreaming," he winked.

Hiki giggled. "Yeah... I wish life would always be this peaceful." Hiki closed his eyes, listened to the wind rustling through the trees and the birds' twittering. It was warm and sunny, the perfect day for a picnic.

"Those two have been gone for a while now…" Howl noticed, sat up, and looked around.

"They're probably making out somewhere," Hiki replied bluntly.

"I see... Well, we should follow their example, don't you think?" He leaned over and kissed Hiki on the lips. Hiki opened his mouth a little and let Howl's tongue slide in. Howl cupped his lover's cheek with his big hand and Hiki clung onto his shirt. Soft moans escaped his lips as silent smacking sounds filled the air. He felt like he was melting.

"Hey, we're back."

Hiki jolted away from Howl when he heard Hajime's voice and blushed intensely.

"We're gonna head back. We have… stuff to do. Are you gonna stay here? " he asked completely unfazed.

"We're staying, but how about I pick you up later and we have dinner together before I drive back to Tokyo," Howl suggested.

"Sure, sounds good. See you later." They walked away holding hands and Hiki could hear Kaito giggling.

"Ugh, that's so embarrassing…" He covered his glowing face with his hands.

"Well, they do the same… and will probably do more as soon as they're back home."

"Still…!"

Howl gently peeled Hiki's hands off of his face and kissed him. "I love how shy you are. It's cute."

He blushed even deeper. "I-I'm not shy! Okay, maybe I am. Anyway, thank you for inviting them to dinner, that was very kind of you. And the fact that he didn't make any snarky remarks just now means that he's fine with us being together," he smiled.

"I like them, so I'd like to talk to them a little more. One day I would like to meet the rest of your family too. I've met your father, but you have two more brothers and a sister, right? I saw them on the framed picture when I was waiting for your father back then. Oh, and your mother of course."

Hiki tensed up immediately. "Trust me, you don't want to meet her," he replied monotonously.

"Hm? Why not?"

"Well… She's… Uhm… Let's just say that I don't get along very well with the rest of my family."

"How is that even possible? You're the most kind-hearted, lovable person I've ever met…"

"It's... not a very pleasant story, I don't want to ruin the mood…"

"If you don't want to talk about it now, I'll accept it. But I hope that you can open up to me about it one day. I would like to know everything about you."

Hiki was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He didn't want to ruin the mood, but he also didn't want to keep secrets from Howl. He had told him about his past too, so Hiki also wanted to open up to him. He took a deep breath and started talking.

"I've never talked to anyone about this before. Not even to Hacchan and Kai, so this is a little disclaimer, I might get a little emotional," he giggled nervously. He looked down on his hands in his lap and fondled the seams on his sleeve. "My sister Harumi is the eldest of us siblings. She lives in one of the guesthouses next to the main building, together with her husband Tadao and their daughter Tae, who's three years old. Harumi is… not very fond of me, we never got along very well. Tadao and I get along pretty well, though. She's very traditional and although my father had offered her to take over the family business, she refused to be a mother. Being the head of a clan takes sacrifices she wasn't willing to make. But that meant that my brother Hiroki had to take her place. I know that he hated it, but he's very diligent, so he felt obligated to become the waka gashira. I always looked up to him when I was little, he was my hero. He's strong and he's a master of various martial arts. He trains very hard every day and... he also works hard to be the perfect son. I think because my father has him, he's less strict with Hacchan and me. He has the perfect successor, that's all he needs. The third eldest was my brother Satoshi. We shared a strong bond and everyone said I looked like a younger version of him. He was five years older than me, but we were inseparable. Hiroki once told me that the day our mother brought me home from the hospital, he held me until his little arms became tired, and even then he didn't want to give me back. He absolutely meant the world to me..." he smiled lovingly, but his expression darkened right away. "He died when he was 16. He-" Hiki swallowed heavily and paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, like I said, I've never talked about this with anyone. I've never said these things out loud..."

"Hikkun, don't force yourself…"

"No, it's okay, I'm fine. I want to tell you. I just need to figure out where to start because it's a lot that happened back then." He cleared his throat. "When I was a kid, I had a very weak immune system, so I was prone to becoming sick. At age eleven I was hospitalized for a whole month because of really bad pneumonia. It was a tough time because it was very painful and due to my slender build, the doctors were worried that I might not make it. But I did and when they finally released me, Hiroki and Satoshi came to pick me up. They wanted to take me to an arcade and I was so excited because I had never been to one before. Hiroki parked the car in a back alley and we were about to head to the arcade when suddenly some men who were wearing the symbol of a rival clan showed up. Apparently, they had recognized our car as one of our father's and followed us, waiting for an opportunity to attack. Hiroki told them to leave us alone since I was still a kid, but they started a fight nonetheless. We had a guard with us, but we were still outnumbered. Everything happened so fast… It was only a fistfight at first; they were just some shatei, lower-ranked members, who wanted to impress their upper ranks... But then, one of them pulled out a gun. Hiroki yelled at Satoshi to bring me back to the car immediately, but because my body was still weak, I wasn't able to run fast enough and when I had to stop to catch my breath, I saw that man aiming his gun at me and I froze. All I remember after that is how I was lying on the ground with something heavy pressing me down. It... was Satoshi's lifeless body. He had jumped in front of me to save my life." Hiki paused. He needed a moment to collect himself. His chest felt tight and it was hard to breathe, but he continued. "Those shatei fled and Hiroki and the guard came to pick up Satoshi. He was still breathing, so we got into the car and headed towards the next hospital. I was in the backseat, Satoshi's head was lying on my lap… there was so much blood everywhere. I remember clearly how he opened his eyes for the last time and smiled at me before his muscles slackened and all life left his body. He didn't look like himself anymore... because his smile was gone."

"Hikkun… I'm so sorry..."

"They could only testify his death at the hospital. Our parents came there immediately and after the guard had explained to them what had happened and my mother saw me covered in Satoshi's blood, she completely lost it and tried to attack me, screaming 'give me back my son'. If Hiroki hadn't been standing right next to me... She had always been violent towards me, ever since I was little. She was unhappy with her arranged marriage and she was overburdened with having so many kids, even though our nannies mostly raised us. She wasn't a loving mother in general but for some reason, she always used me as her scapegoat and it became so much worse after that incident. She started drinking regularly and every time she was drunk and nobody was at home, she'd beat me up. After she was done, she normally passed out after a while, I dragged myself to the bathroom to take care of my wounds and hid them before the others came back and anyone could see. If her hand slipped and she hurt my face, she told me exactly what to say in case someone asked. And in her rage, she always yelled at me… that I should've been the one who died, that I have no right to be alive, that it was my fault that he's gone and everyone suffered... and she always told me to give her back her beloved son… Tch, as if I wouldn't have given my own life in a split second to bring him back... I believed everything she said and I didn't want to live anymore at one point. And in addition to that… I missed Satoshi so, so much. I was so lonely and in so much pain. And I don't mean the pain my mother inflicted on me physically, but the pain of being responsible for his death and having lost the one person that was closest to me... Every night I dreamed of his emotionless face and all that blood... I still do sometimes. Hajime and Kai did their best to be there for me, but they had no idea what was going on behind closed doors and there was no way I could burden them with all of that. So I shut myself away and spent most of the time alone in my room. Until one day, it was around the third anniversary of Satoshi's death, she got severely drunk. It was always worse around that time because she drank more often. As I got older, she started using tools, but that time she was beating on me with a broomstick so hard, it broke. I seriously thought I would die, but I was lucky that day, Hiroki came home early and heard her screaming. He pushed her away from me, picked me up, and brought me to a doctor. When we came back home, he told our father and she never touched me again after that. Harumi called me pathetic and laughed at me because, as she said, I was such a weakling that I let a woman beat me up. But I was convinced that I deserved all that, that it was my punishment for causing my brother's death. After Satoshi had died, Hiroki had done the same as me and stayed by himself most of the time. He didn't talk much anymore and drowned himself in work. But after our mother's doings had come to light, he came to me and said something that kind of saved me. He said: 'Hikaru, one day, I hope you can be happy again because Satoshi would want that for you. It was his decision to save your life. Don't throw away what he gave you and don't push away those who want to be there for you.' I knew that he was right and I knew that he was talking about Hajime and Kaito. They never gave up on me, they kept trying to get me to come out of my shell, and after that, I worked hard on myself, and with time I was able to open up to them little by little. I really want to be happy and do something good with my life, I owe that to Satoshi… and to myself. And… until now I always felt that something was missing. A part of me had died, but ever since I've met you, I feel complete again… As if you have revived it..." Hiki looked at Howl, his eyes were teary. "I'm sorry, I ruined the mood after all, huh…" he sniffled and dried his eyes with his sleeves.

Howl, who had silently let Hiki unburden his heart, hugged him as tight as he could. At first, Hiki wanted to tell him that he was fine, but that bear hug was exactly what he needed at that moment. He clung onto Howl and they remained in their embrace for a while. Hiki felt relieved and he was grateful that Howl didn't say something like 'everything will be okay' or other things people normally said in those situations. He just held him, made him feel loved and safe and Hiki couldn't have hoped for a better reaction from his partner. Somehow Howl always knew what to say or do to make him feel better.

"Your mom is a real cunt, though," he grumbled suddenly, which made Hiki laugh and the remaining tension left his body.

"Howl, there's something else I wanted to tell you while I'm at it. Remember the day when I pushed you away?"

Howl loosened his grip so they could face each other. "I touched you without your consent, that wasn't okay."

"That wasn't the reason. I want you to touch me, but... I'm very self-conscious because of my skin on some parts of my body, especially my back. My mother's outbursts left some marks and… I'm… ashamed of them."

"...Can I see?"

"Oh, um…" Hiki was surprised. He didn't expect Howl to ask for that. "Mh… O-Okay." His heart was throbbing as he turned around and lifted his cardigan and shirt. He felt awkward and kind of exposed. "HNGH!" Hiki jolted when he felt Howl's hand sliding across his skin, tracing his scars with his fingertips.

"...They look ugly. I guess I'm damaged goods, huh… I'm pretty broken in more than one way," he giggled nervously.

"You're so strong… Truly amazing." Howl leaned over and placed gentle kisses on his back. "Even though you were just a kid, even though you would've desperately needed someone to help you cope with the traumatic events, but instead you were dragged through an even deeper hell… Despite everything you've been through that scarred you in so many ways, you didn't give up. You pulled through. You survived. You're a fighter, Hikkun. That's what these scars show me. If you're damaged and broken, let me piece you together and be the glue that holds you together." He pulled down his clothes and Hiki turned back around, his teary eyes widened in surprise about Howl's touching words.

"Y-You think? You think that… I'm strong?"

"You're by far the strongest man I've ever met, and I mean it in all honesty."

"Thank you, Howl," Hiki huffed and smiled, tears running down from the corner of his eyes. Howl dried them and Hiki moved closer, placed himself between his lover's legs, and leaned against his chest with his back. Howl embraced him from behind, Hiki sighed deeply and they stayed at the idyllic place for a little longer without talking much. They just enjoyed being together and embraced that moment that had strengthened their bond immensely.

Hiki had found his missing piece, and he knew that nothing or no one could hurt him ever again, as long as he had Howl by his side.

When the sun started setting and it became chilly, they packed up and walked back to Howl's car. Hiki had called Kaito and Hajime when they were on their way, so the two of them were waiting already, and they drove to a restaurant in the city for dinner.

"Howl-san, where are you from if I may ask? You don't look very Japanese," Kaito said after they had placed their order.

"My mother was from England, but my father was Japanese. I grew up here in Tokyo until I was thirteen, but we moved to Great Britain after my father passed away. My mother had felt too lonely here, all her relatives lived there. But one year after we moved, she died in a car accident."

"Jeez… I'm sorry for your loss," Kaito said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, that's horrible," Hajime agreed. Hiki took his lover's hand and held it tight to comfort him.

"What made you come back?" Kaito asked.

"My twin sister Sophie and I lived with our aunt, but Japan was our home. We moved back here when we turned 18 and Sophie went to University. Later she moved to Hokkaido and is working as a martial arts instructor at a dojo now. I'm a self-taught software engineer. I was into computers since I was a kid and my father always encouraged me. I didn't have many references, but at my first job interview, I managed to impress my boss. When I arrived at the office, there was a big commotion. They wanted to send me home at first because he was too busy to see me. Their system had gotten infected with a very bad virus because of the mistake a newbie had made. I told them that I could fix it, so they called the boss and he actually let me try. Sure, he laughed at me at first and told me that if all their IT specialists couldn't fix it, someone like me shouldn't even think about trying. I actually had no clue what virus it was and if I would really be able to save their system, but it took me twenty minutes and that virus was history. I didn't make many friends that day, but envy is a sign of admiration, is what my father used to say. My boss hated that I saved his ass that day, but he still hired me. He said he would be an idiot not to, but it wasn't a good working atmosphere. He only gave me boring jobs any newbie could've done, just to keep me down. The only good thing about that job was that they offered dorms, so I had a place to stay. Three years later, when I turned 21, my father's lawyer called me and Sophie and paid out our inheritance. It was our father's life savings and the money our mother had put aside after selling our father's company. I decided that I had enough of that job and founded my own company, Castle Tech. It was hard, I didn't sleep or eat much in the beginning, but it was worth it. I made Castle Tech successful in the past four years and it's growing every year. Actually, winning your father as a client was one of our biggest deals and might bring us a lot more clients. Word-of-mouth advertisement is very important."

"Wow, I'm impressed… That means you're only 25, but you're running your own successful company…" Kaito said, amazed.

"I told you he's totally awesome," Hiki grinned proudly.

"Stop bragging, Niichan," Hajime scolded him.

"Hehe, sorry."

"I haven't seen you this happy since… It's been a very long time. Howl, take good care of him, okay? If you hurt him-"

"I would never, Hajime. I promise."

The two men smiled at each other in understanding. The couples had a great time and Hiki was over the moon.

From that day on, Hiki and Howl tried to meet up as often as they could.

It wasn't always easy, because Howl had to work a lot and, of course, couldn't drive all the way to Machida and back every day. And Hiki's driver didn't have time to, how he called it, 'babysit him all the time and drive him around for useless things'. But after every job interview he had, which the driver took him to, he made sure to visit Howl at his office so they could at least have lunch together. And they always took the time to "practice" a little. Sometimes Hiki snuck out from home, which Howl scolded him for every time and he ended up driving him back home, so Hiki stopped doing that. But even if they couldn't meet up, there wasn't a day when they didn't have at least a three-hour phone call or facetime. They were so in love, every minute they didn't spend together was almost painful for them.

A few weeks after their sakura date, Hiki was a stressed-out mess. He still hadn't been able to find a job and without a job, he couldn't afford an apartment, therefore he wasn't able to move to Tokyo.

"Haa… It'll be such a pain to drive two hours to Tokyo and back every day," he sighed as he slumped down on the sofa in Howl's office.

"Doesn't that mean we will have even less time to spend together? You'll have to study too, after all." Howl sat down next to him and Hiki snuggled against him.

"Yeah, but we can meet up on the weekends. And maybe, if I can convince my father, I can stay over sometimes…"

"Hikkun… Why don't you just move in with me?"

"Huh?" Hiki sat up and stared at Howl.

"Wouldn't it make sense? T-Uni is basically around the corner, we would see each other every day and my condo is by far big enough."

"Uhm…"

"Hear me out before you say anything. The renovations are almost done, all that's left is picking out the furniture and such… You already helped me pick all the wallpapers, carpets, the bath interiors... It's your home too already. And there's a spare room that you could use as a bedroom."

Hiki stayed in pondering silence.

"Think about it thoroughly, talk about it with Hajime and Kaito if you need to, and tell me your decision whenever you're ready."

"No. I don't want that."

Howl's face became expressionless and pale all of a sudden. "Okay, if you don't want to move in with me, that's fine. Maybe I can help you pay for an apartment until you find a job."

"No, I mean I don't want a room for myself. I want to sleep in your bedroom… We're a couple, why would I want a separate room?"

"Hikkun, does that mean…"

Hiki nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I want to move in with you. I want to be with you, so it's just a matter of time anyway, right?"

Howl smiled broadly and hugged his lover tight. "Hikkun, I'm so happy…"

"I'm happy too, Howl. Oh, how about we make the spare room into a guest room instead, in case my brother, Kaito, or Sophie want to stay over?"

"That's a great idea!"

"Oh no, wait, we'll have to ask my father for his consent! I'm not of full age yet, what if he says no…?! That would be the worst… He was fine with me moving here, but I don't know if he'll allow me to move in with you..." Hiki said, worried.

"If that happens, we'll just wait, you'll be of full age in a few years. I'd wait ten lifetimes for you, Hikkun. As long as we can be together in the end, I can put up with anything." Howl assured him confidently. "And we can just rent a small apartment. You'd spend most of the time at my place anyway, but he doesn't need to know that."

"You're right," Hiki smiled fondly. "But it would still be better to have his consent. It's kind of important to me…"

"I understand that, Hikkun. We'll talk to him together. I'll call him to make an appointment."

"Okay," Hiki nodded.

"There's still a lot of work to do before the condo is completely done. We have to buy decorations, kitchen supplies, a sofa, closets, a new bed for us... My old one is definitely too small, it's only a normal double bed," Howl declared.

Hiki blushed at the thought of him and Howl sharing a bed soon. There hadn't been much space for intimacy until then, although they made out a lot when they had the chance. Howl was a great kisser, Hiki wondered what he would be like with other things...

"Hikkun?" Howl pulled him out of his daydream.

"Oh, um yeah we should get decorations and… and a bed," he giggled awkwardly.

"Let's go shopping then. This weekend," Howl suggested.

"Yes," Hiki answered enthusiastically.

Was he really not dreaming?


	4. Moving in

On his way home, Hiki's thoughts revolved around Howl's proposal. He thought his chest was about to explode. He would move in with Howl! Or would he? If his father was against it, there would be no way he would allow him to live with Howl. He also wasn't sure if he should lie to him and tell him that they were just friends, or if he should be honest. But he had no idea how his father would react to that; he couldn't even guess. "He asked you to move in with him? Already? Wow." Hajime was stunned after Hiki told him and Kaito about it later that day. They sat together in Hajime's room as usual."I know it might seem a bit rushed, but I know it's the right thing to do for us," Hiki replied confidently."I might feel that way if this wasn't about you. But you're not someone who acts on impulse and who gets carried away easily. Sure, you're a sensitive and emotional person, but you're not irrational. Your feelings for this man are deep, and they are mutual. He treats you with respect and it's obvious that he treasures you and loves you with all his heart. Also, you said it yourself, it's close to Uni, right? You could see each other off every day and come back home to each other like a married couple. That's so cool!" "Yeah…" The mere thought of it made Hiki's heart beat faster."It will suck not having you around, to be honest, but I know that you hate living here... for obvious reasons... and ever since you met him, it's like you're glowing. I can't even remember the last time I've seen you smile like that or even laugh. He's good for you and I'm happy for you. Go for it." Kaito smiled.

"You're the best, Kai!" Hiki hugged his friend. "Thank you so much for saying that."

"I kinda agree with him, but you two will need father's approval since you're not 20 yet. That won't be easy, Howl is still a stranger to him after all. Sure, they're business partners, but still. Business is one thing, family another." Hajime added, concerned. "And what do you even want to tell him?"

"I'm not sure yet. We have two options. We can be honest about our relationship or lie and tell him that we're just friends. I would hate to lie to him, though."

"Have you talked to Howl about it yet?"

"No, we were too excited. I'll ask him tomorrow on the phone to see what's his opinion about all of this."

Howl called Hiki the next day and they had dinner together via Facetime as usual. "We need to talk about my father. To be honest, I don't want to lie to him, but I don't even know what his opinion on same-sex couples is. If he hates it… I don't even want to think about it."

"I've scheduled an appointment with him on Friday, so we'll know soon. But Hikkun, whatever happens, I'll have your back and I'm absolutely on your side. I don't want to lie to him either. I don't want to hide our love for each other. Not from anyone."

Hiki smiled. "Thank you, Howl. Let's hope everything goes well."

Friday came, and Howl went to Machida. Hiki picked him up at the front door and they walked to his father's office together. Howl was as composed as always, but Hiki was very quiet and pale, which worried him.

"Hikkun, are you okay? You look like you're about to faint." Howl came from an appointment and was lucky to make it just in time. He wished he could have arrived earlier so he could have calmed Hiki down a little.

"I'm fine. Let's go in." Hiki took a deep breath and knocked on the big wooden office door. When they heard a muffled "Come in", he opened it and they walked inside. Hiki's father, Yasuhiro, was sitting behind his big, black desk on his throne-like office chair.

"Harada-san, good to see you. Please take a seat," he addressed Howl without greeting his son at all. "Hikaru, it was nice of you to escort him here, but you can leave now."

"Ueda-san, he's actually with me. Thank you for taking the time to talk to us," Howl said politely and bowed before they sat down. Hiki remained silent.

"I thought this was about the contract for my estate in Yokohama."

This wasn't the man he usually made business with, Howl thought. The aura he gave off when they had work-related meetings was completely different. At that moment it had changed and he seemed almost hostile.

"So... why are you here with him, Hikaru?" Although Yasuhiro was sitting down, it almost felt like he was towering over them. "I'm aware that you meet up with him frequently since you use my men to drive you around and they have to report to me, but what's the reason for the two of you to schedule an appointment with my secretary?"

Howl glanced over at Hiki, who looked like a sacrificial lamb. The urge to protect his lover rose in him. "Ueda-sa-" Howl started, but Hiki interrupted him.

"Father..." He straightened his posture, but he was looking down humbly. "You know that my first semester at Uni starts soon. You said I'm allowed to move to Tokyo, but I haven't been able to find a job yet, so I can't afford it. Ho-... Harada-san was so generous to offer me to move in with him, and... I want to live with him in Tokyo."

"Explain to me why I should agree to that."

"H-His condo is a ten-minute walk from T-Uni. I wouldn't have to occupy one of your men every day to drive me there until I can find a job since you won't allow me to take the train."

"What if I would allow you to from now on?"

Hiki paused for a moment. He didn't expect that. "W-Well, it takes one and a half hours by train there and back. That's time I won't have for my studies because I can't read on the train. You know how easily I get travel sick. That means I'd lose at least three hours every day."

"Well, I guess you will have to work extra hard, then. I won't allow it." Yasuhiro answered harshly.

"Father, I-"

"I said no," he replied with a firm voice.

"Father, you don't underst-"

Yasuhiro slammed his fist on the desk so hard, for a second they thought it would break. Hiki flinched, but he kept his posture.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?! I know what's going on between you two. I won't allow you to live with him and that's my final word!"

"Father, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I will live with Howl, no matter what. For now, since I'm not full of age yet, I still need your consent to move in with him. But if you won't give it, I will leave on the day I turn 20." Hiki was trembling a little, but he tried his hardest not to let it show. He couldn't believe that he actually had the guts to talk to his father like that.

"Ueda-san, I know you don't like the idea, but Hikaru deserves to be happy."

"Tch, and you think you can make my son happy?"

"I will do everything I can to achieve that," Howl answered enthusiastically.

"You've got to be kidding me. You have no idea what you two are getting yourselves into! People will start talking! You own a company, you might lose clients. Rumors spread easily and the good reputation you've worked so hard for will be ruined and go down the drain. And what if Hikaru gets bullied in Uni? Most people in this world are narrow-minded and judgmental!"

"Even if I lose everything, I won't give up on your son. I'll take care of him and protect him no matter what troubles lie ahead of us."

"You're smart and a brilliant businessman, and I respect that. Your young age usually doesn't show, but right now you sound like a lovestruck teenager. You might be able to deal with the hostility and prejudice, but can he?" He pointed at Hiki. "How do you think my son would feel about causing your company's downfall? About getting weird looks and mean comments every day? You say that you will protect him and care for him, but to what extent are you going to be able to do so when even his own father couldn't-" He paused with a startled expression on his face and cleared his throat. "Anyhow, I won't allow it. Period."

"Ueda-san, we're-"

"Howl, can you please give us a moment?" Hiki asked his lover, his eyes fixated on his father.

"Sure." Howl got up and left the room reluctantly.

"Father, I know you're worried about me. You probably think I'm weak because… I wasn't able to protect myself before. And maybe that's true. But I've grown, and if those past years taught me anything, it's that I'm not weak. Not anymore. I can put up with anything and I don't need anyone to protect me. I can protect myself. You might think I'm young and that I don't know how this world works, and maybe that's also true. But I have to make my own decisions and my own experiences. I'm sorry that I'm not the son you deserve or wished for, but I love that man with all my heart and I want to and will be with him, and I would fight anyone for that. Even you." Hiki replied confidently, looking straight into his father's eyes. He had been through too much to just give up on something he wanted so badly.

Yasuhiro went silent for a few minutes and glared at him critically. Then, he leaned back and sighed loudly.

"It's no use, I guess. Harada-san is a good man, it's not like I have anything against him. But Hikaru, be aware that there might be hard times ahead of you. And if he hurts you in any way, they'll find his body in Tokyo Bay."

Hiki teared up. He couldn't believe that he did it!

"You can leave now. I have another appointment soon and I have to prepare for it."

"Thank you, father." He got up, bowed deeply, turned around, and walked over to the door.

"And Hikaru," Yasuhiro stopped him, "I give you kudos for having the guts to speak up, but it's the first and last time I will allow you to disobey me like that and to raise your voice against me."

"Understood." He bowed again and left the room.

Howl was waiting for him outside and as soon as he shut the door behind himself, he dropped down on his knees, huffing.

"Hikkun!" Howl knelt down and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Are you okay? What's wrong, did he do something to you? I swear to... I'm gonna kill him-"

"No, sorry, I'm fine," Hiki laughed breathlessly. All the tension had suddenly left his body and he felt exhausted but relieved. "My legs feel like jelly, this was so intense, please give me a moment."

"What did he say?"

"Howl, did you just say you'd kill the head of a yakuza clan because you thought he hurt me?"

"Well, I said that I'll protect you, didn't I?"

Hiki giggled. "That's cute. A bit scary, but cute."

"Hikkun… You're killing me right now. What did he say?"

"He gave us his consent." Hiki teared up again. "I can move in with you, Howl. We can live together," he sparkled and Howl hugged him tightly.

"Dammit, I'm so happy."

"Me too…"

"Hikkun, do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Howl let him go and looked at him.

"No, I don't."

"Let's go and buy furniture then. It's a Saturday, so I can schedule the deliveries for next week and you could move in on the weekend, what do you say?"

"N-Next weekend," Hiki asked startled.

"We can wait a little longer…"

"No, that's great! Let's do it," he smiled broadly and Howl smiled back.

"Alright. Can you get up or do you still have jelly legs?"

"Hehe, no, I think I'm alright." Hiki got up with Howl's help.

"Hikkun, I have to leave now, I have to attend a meeting. Let's Facetime later, okay?"

Hiki nodded, looked around in the hallway to make sure no one was there, got on his tiptoes, and kissed Howl. "I love you," he smiled.

"I love you too," Howl replied.

Later that night they had their usual Facetime dinner. It had become a habit for them to do that and Hiki enjoyed it a lot, but he couldn't wait until they could sit together at one table every day. They talked about how their day went after they parted, and Hiki gave Howl more details about the talk with his father.

"I'm so proud of you, Hikkun. And I'm looking forward to tomorrow, it'll be even more fun to pick the furniture knowing that you will be moving in for sure."

"I'm excited. But what do we need, did you make a list?"

"Yup, it's right here. For the living area, we need a new sofa, a bigger dining table, and chairs, a table and chairs for the serving hatch and a new coffee table. We need more towels and stuff like that too. Oh and a bed and some cupboards for the guest bedroom. And since you'll need a place to study, we're gonna get you a desk for the home office. For the kitchen, we need pots and pans,... Okay, I don't really know what we need for the kitchen, that'll be your realm. Make a list yourself of everything you want. And I mean everything ."

"Howl… all those things will cost a lot of money…"

"I told you before, you don't have to worry about that. This will be our home, I want you to feel comfortable here. And it's about time that I get adequate interior anyway."

"But still, it feels weird knowing that you'll be the one paying for everything. Even when I was a teenager, I always had a job so I wouldn't need my father's money. I don't want to be a useless freeloader."

"What's mine is yours, Hikkun. And you're going to take care of the cooking, which is a huge help! I won't have to worry about that anymore and I can enjoy freshly cooked meals. I feel spoiled already just thinking about it."

"Hmm… How about I take care of the household in general? That would make me feel more at ease. Even after I found a job. Because I'd... like to take care of you," Hiki blushed.

"Ugh, you're too cute. But it's a lot, you've seen how big this place is. Which reminds me… My cleaning lady just quit on me because she got pregnant."

"Perfect, don't hire someone new then. I'll take care of everything. I will spend a lot of time home alone since you're at work all day, so at least I'll have something to do."

"Hikkun, you'll have to study and you're going to find a job at one point…"

"No discussion, that's my last word. Won't this be my home too? So I have a saying in this too, don't I?" Hiki frowned. Howl was impressed. It was the first time that Hiki had raised his voice like that and his reasoning made absolute sense. He had to surrender. "Alright, you win. If this means so much to you, I won't tell you to back down."

"Thank you, Howl." Hiki smiled broadly and Howl smiled back at him.

"Oh, I forgot to write down what we need for the master bedroom." He grabbed a pencil and added to his notes. "We'll need a new bed, mine's too small. And more wardrobes for the walk-in closet. Hikkun what size should the bed be? Do you move around a lot in your sleep?"

Hiki froze. A sudden realization hit him. He would sleep in one bed with Howl… and it was inevitable that one thing would lead to another and eventually... He hadn't thought about that before at all. So much had happened in the past few months that had preoccupied his mind. It had already been three months and they still hadn't done it. Well, there hadn't been any opportunity for that so far anyway since they always met in public places because Howl's apartment wasn't an option due to the renovations. But soon they would live together, so they would have sex at one point.

"Hikkun, you're so pale all of a sudden, are you okay? Are you getting sick?"

"N-No, I'm just a little tired."

"You're done eating, right? Go and rest, we'll meet tomorrow anyway."

Hiki nodded.

"I love you, Hikkun. Sleep well."

"I love you too, Howl." He turned off his phone and sat at his desk in silence to think about it for a while until his imagination was running too wild. He jumped up, went over to Hajime's room and knocked on the door.

"Kai, are you there?"

"Yeah, come in…"

Hiki opened the door, but he didn't enter. "Can I talk to you in my room?"

"Hey, why am I not invited? I feel excluded," Hajime complained.

"We'll be back in a minute, sorry Hacchan."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll wait here."

The two boys went over to Hiki's room and sat down on his bed.

"What's up?"

"Kai, have you had sex with my brother yet?"

"Huh?!" Hiki's bluntness appalled his friend.

"I'm going to move in with Howl…! That means… we're going to sleep in the same bed from next week on! I haven't thought about things like... that yet. We… We're going to have sex!" Hiki blushed so hard, even his ears started glowing.

"Hiki, calm down, it's a normal thing to do as a couple. I mean sooner or later, that's where a relationship is going..."

"But I'm scared! What if I'm bad at it? And… I'm his first man, what if he realizes that he's not attracted to male bodies after all?! And he's my first too! What if I don't like sex? Or… that kind of sex… Oh god, I'm so confused…"

"Okay, this is a tough situation. So he only had sex with women before, right?"

Hiki nodded.

"But he wouldn't want to be with you if the thought of doing it with a man would gross him out, Hiki. Don't you think?"

"Probably… But…"

"And Howl didn't even mention sex, right? So there should be no pressure in this regard. You tend to overthink things, just go with the flow as you did until now and everything will turn."

"Yeah, you're right. And I really overthink a lot… Can I ask you about one more thing, though?"

"Sure."

"D-Does it hurt?"

"It did the first time because he was a little over-excited and clumsy. But now it feels really good when we do it. And Howl is more experienced, so I'm sure he'll be more careful."

"Thanks, Kai. I feel better now," Hiki smiled.

"I'm really gonna miss you, Hiki. But at the same time, I'm so happy for you. You flourished since you met him, I think he's the best thing that could've happened to you."

"Stop making me cry, idiot." Hiki reached out and hugged his friend.

"You're an idiot for leaving me here alone with your brother. He's gonna drive me nuts when you're not here!"

"Hehe, sorry. I'm going to miss you too."

"Hey, I'm waiti-... Why are you hugging and crying?" Hajime wondered as he entered Hiki's room.

"We're just having a moment because Hiki's gonna leave soon," Kaito sniffled.

"No, I mean why are you doing this without me, I'm sad too!" Hajime jumped them and they all laid piled up on Hiki bed, giggling.

Hiki's heart felt so heavy, but he was also happy to be loved this much.

On the next day, Howl and Hiki went and bought all the things they needed for their love nest, and even more. Hiki scolded Howl to be more mindful of his money, but of course, he didn't listen. He wanted to create their dream home, so Hiki stopped nagging him at one point and just let him have his way. When it came to their bedroom, they had another little discussion, though. Hiki thought a normal double bed would be enough, but Howl insisted on a Super King sized bed. The furniture delivery was scheduled on Wednesday, so Hiki could move in on Saturday as planned.

Howl drove down to Machida early in the morning and they loaded Hiki's moving boxes into the trunk of his car.

"Hikkun, is that all? Six boxes, that's it?"

"And four of them are stuffed with books," Hajime laughed. He and Kaito had helped them and brought them to Howl's car to say their goodbyes. Hiki hugged them both and couldn't help but tear up.

"Don't fight too much, and Hacchan, don't be a dick to Kai or I'll come back and slap you," He sniffled.

"Niichan, I'll miss you so much. " his little brother whined. "Hey, Howl! If I hear complaints, I'll come over and remodel your face, okay? Treat him well, he's the most precious person in our life!"

"I promise that I'll do my best to make him happy, little brother," Howl replied earnestly.

Hajime just clicked his tongue, a little surprised about Howl's words. They normally liked to tease each other, and he had expected a snarky reply, but he was glad that Howl said that.

"You can come to visit us whenever you want," he added. Hiki smiled at him lovingly.

"Thank you Howl, take good care of him for us. And Hiki, don't neglect our group chat while you're busy with your new life, okay," Kaito said smiling and bumped his fist against his friend's shoulder.

"Of course not. I'll text you tonight when we're done unpacking," HIki promised.

"There's also going to be another delivery and we'll have to arrange the decorations and the furniture. That's why we should leave now, Hikkun."

"Yeah, coming. Bye, guys…" Hiki hugged them again and they headed home.

They stopped on their way to have breakfast and when they arrived, they parked the car on the parking deck in the basement of the office building, loaded the boxes into the elevator, and brought them inside.

"Ohh, Howl, the new wallpapers, and floors look really great," Hiki shouted, amazed. It was the first time he saw the condo after the renovations. But the place was an absolute mess. There were boxes and wrapped furniture everywhere and nothing was in its place, of course. Except for the colossal white couch. He sighed loudly. "This will be a lot of work."

"Sorry, HIkkun. I had to work overtime every day, I didn't get the chance to start with anything. And the guys who'll assemble the cupboards and stuff will be here in about an hour. Until then we can unpack your belongings."

Hiki nodded and they got started.

Everything went smoothly, but it took them the whole day to find the right places and positions for the furniture, to move them around and bring them to the right rooms, and to unpack all the decorations they had bought. After dinner, they called it a day and settled down on the big sofa. Howl was sitting and Hiki was lying down next to him, his head resting on his lover's lap.

"I'm dead tired," he moaned. "And my body hurts. I could really use a nice, hot bath."

"I got a message from Kinsley earlier, I need to go over some papers and send them to him. Why don't you go and soak in the bath, I'll finish up and we'll go to sleep," Howl suggested while caressing Hiki's hair.

"You have to work now? Aren't you tired too?" Hiki asked, concerned.

"You did all of the decorating. I just assisted, so I'm alright. And it has to be done, there's no choice anyway. You'll have to get used to it, I have to work overtime a lot, " Howl explained.

"Oh, that's fine for me. I mean, a company doesn't run itself. Alright, I'll go take a bath then." Hiki sat up. "Ah, no, wait... Kiss me," he demanded and Howl smiled and kissed his lover softly on the lips. "Okay, now I can go," Hiki smirked and got up. But right when he took the first step, Howl grabbed his wrist, pulled him back, and Hiki landed on his lap.

"Wah, Howl! What are you doing?!"

"Just one more minute," Howl said and twined his arms around Hiki. "I need to recharge."

"Howl~ I'm all sweaty and smelly... And didn't you say that you're not tired? Come on, let me go..."

"Hmmm… I think you smell good."

"Stop sniffing me, let me go take a bath already!" Hiki giggled, but Howl tightened his grip around him and nuzzled up against him.

"No. Not yet."

"You acting spoiled? That's new." Hiki giggled, but he secretly enjoyed it.

"Haa… I wish we could just stay like this forever."

"Oh, we can stay like this forever if you want."

"Really?" Howl looked at his lover with hopeful eyes. Hiki placed a soft kiss on his lips and whispered: "Yes... After I take a bath." Then he tickled Howl, who jolted and reflexively released him, jumped up, and fled to a safe distance.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Howl whined.

Hiki stuck out his tongue, grinned teasingly, and headed to the bathroom. Howl chuckled and sighed lovestruck before he got up and went over to his home office.

During his refreshing bath, Hiki thought about all the good things that had happened to him since he met Howl. Before, he felt like he only existed, but now he felt alive. He felt blessed to be waking up next to that wonderful man every morning from now on. "Oh…" Hiki suddenly remembered what had worried him throughout the last week. This would be the first time they slept together in the same bed. Hiki's heart started racing. Stop overthinking, he told himself before his imagination went too wild and instead distracted himself by thinking about the things he'd have to do the next day. They still weren't even remotely done with the arrangement of the furniture and decorations. When he entered the bedroom after finishing his bath, he checked out the huge, inviting looking bed while drying his long hair with a towel. Hiki was glad that Howl had been so stubborn about buying such a big bed now that he saw it in its place. Their bedroom was very spacious, so they also put a huge, cozy couch in there and an armchair was standing in front of the fireplace across from the bed. The rooms in the condo had windows that reached from the floor to the ceiling, offering a stunning view of the city's skyline. Hiki walked over and looked at the scene in awe. It had gotten dark outside and an ocean of colorful lights of Tokyo's illustrious nightlife gleamed in the distance. Hiki loved this place so much, he still couldn't believe that it was his home now.

"Which side of the bed do you prefer, Hikkun?" Howl asked as he entered the room.

"Ah, are you done with your work?"

"Hhm." Howl walked over to Hiki, embraced him from behind and they enjoyed the view together. "And I used the other bathroom to take a shower, so we can go to bed now."

"Okay…"

"The view is amazing, right? You can see the sunrise from here too."

"I really love this place."

"I love you… Hmm, you smell good."

"Better than before?"

"Not sure, let me check once more…" He brushed Hiki's hair aside and buried his face in his neck. "Haa… delicious," he whispered and nibbled on his lover's flushed skin.

"Nh…" Hiki jolted. His heart was pounding in his chest. "H-Howl…"

"Sorry. I got carried away again." He let go of Hiki and turned around to the bed. "So, which side do you want?"

Somehow Hiki was a little disappointed that Howl had given up so quickly. "Uhm… I only ever had a single bed, so I'm not sure. What about you?"

"I don't have a preference at all. I can literally sleep anywhere."

"Umm… Okay… Let's see..." He jumped up and landed face-first on the big bed. "Oomph!" He rolled over to the left and snuggled against the soft pillow. "Hmmm…" He moved around and tried out different positions. Eventually, he rolled back to the right and repeated his evaluation ritual. Howl observed Hiki's bustling activity with a broad smile. He couldn't help but picture him as a little kitten, rolling around in a big cat bed.

"I can't decide… The right side is a bit better, but something feels off…" Hiki pondered.

"Wait a second…" Howl got into the bed and moved to the middle. "Come here." He smiled and opened his arms. Hiki scooted over to him with no hesitation, snuggled up against him, and they wrapped their arms around each other.

"Ahhh, yes. This is it," he sighed peacefully and Howl chuckled. They stayed silent for a while, just listening to their heartbeats and feeling their warmth.

"Howl…?" Hiki, already half asleep, mumbled.

"Yes, Hikkun?"

"I'm happy…" Hiki nuzzled up against Howl's chest. Howl's heart throbbed upon his lover's cuteness.

"Howl…" he whispered again.

"Yes, Hikkun?"

"I love you so so mush..." And with that, he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you too, my sweet Hiki." Howl smiled lovingly, kissed his boyfriend on the head, and fell asleep as well, feeling like the luckiest man on earth.

When Hiki woke up the next morning, he felt warm and comfortable. But he was a little disoriented. He rubbed his eyes and as his view cleared, he saw the city through the big window, shimmering golden in the light of the bright morning sun, and remembered where he was. That's right, I'm in my new bed, in my new home, living my new life with...

"Good morning, Hikkun," a raspy voice whispered into his ear. He turned his head and looked at the drowsy, ruffled love of his life, who was lying behind him, holding him in his arms.

"Good morning." Hiki smiled, turned over to Howl, and snuggled against him.

"Did you sleep well? " Howl asked, after kissing him on the head.

"I did. It was like sleeping on clouds. It was a good decision to pick this bed," Hiki admitted. "Mhh..."

"What is it?"

"...We're so close, I can hear your heartbeat," he whispered and closed his eyes to focus only on that mesmerizing sound. Howl's warmth, his scent, and his heartbeat… Hiki felt wholesome and at ease. They both were so relaxed, they fell back to sleep...

Sometime later, the ringing of their intercom woke them up. Hiki took his phone to check what time it was and instantly sat up. "It's eleven already! We overslept!" He jumped off the bed and rushed over to the intercom in the bedroom.

"Yes?"

"Good morning, this is Ando. You have a visitor, would you like me to escort him up?"

"A visitor? Who is it?" Hiki asked confused, still drowsy.

"He said his name is Ueda and that he's your brother. How would you like me to proceed?"

"Oh, y-yes, please bring him up. Thank you, Ando-san."

"Who's rude enough to disturb us on a Sunday morning?" Howl growled.

"It's Hajime and Kaito… Maybe they wanted to surprise us and have breakfast together or something… Oh crap, I need to get dressed!" He rushed over to the walk-in closet and quickly picked a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a cardigan. "Come on, Howl. Get up. They're our first visitors, you should greet them."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay." Hiki left the room and rushed over to the entrance door. He was excited, even though they had seen each other the day before.

Suddenly their doorbell rang. He opened the door and froze. There was a tall man with long black hair, a well-groomed scruff, and a big scar on the left side of his face standing in front of him. He wore a black designer suit… and he looked extremely agitated.

"Oniisan?!" Hiki blurted out.

"Tch. This is how you greet me? One day away from home and you already forgot your manners," he snubbed.

"Ah! I'm sorry! It's just that… when the guard said that my brother wanted to visit me, I thought it was Hajime. I didn't expect it to be you... P-Please come in."

The man stepped inside and looked around discerningly.

"Not as bad as expected… Nevertheless, go get your stuff, I'm here to take you back home. This nonsense is going to end now," he announced monotonically. That was completely unexpected and shook Hiki to the core.

"O-Oniisan, are you being serious right n-"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"N-No, but… Father gave us his consent."

"Our old man always had a weak spot for you. But I won't allow this, you're still a minor. Now go and get your belongings, we're leaving."

"Eh…" Hiki was overwhelmed with the situation and wasn't sure how to react. Hiroki and he hadn't had a proper conversation in years; his sudden appearance and his bossy attitude towards him made no sense to Hiki whatsoever.

"Hikkun, who is this?" Howl came out of the bedroom.

"Ah, Howl, this is-" Hiki started, but Hiroki interrupted him.

"You must be Harada. My name is Ueda, I'm his older brother. I'm here to take him back home," he answered as he glared at Howl.

"Is that so? What makes you think that he will go with you?" Howl tried to retain his composure, but he felt extremely agitated by that man's behavior and his words.

"You see, when I came back from a fairly long business trip this morning, my father told me that my brother had moved out and is now living with another man. I'm concerned about his well-being. Moving out all of a sudden, living with someone he just met, and a man at that... That's not like him at all. He obviously got deceived by you, that's why he's behaving like this. But he will no longer participate in… whatever it is you're planning. I assume one of the clans has set you up to mess with our family and you picked the weakest link of the chain. I bet it's the Mori clan. Tell them it's over. Hikaru, we're leaving."

"Oniisan, I-" Hiki tried to pipe up, but those two bawlers didn't give him the chance.

"Huh?! What kind of nonsense is that? You think your father would have agreed to this if your brother's well-being was at risk in any way?" Howl was seriously pissed off. "A rival clan… you've got to be kidding me. But maybe you just don't understand the concept of love, so you came up with a weird conspiracy theory!"

"Howl…!" Hiki started panicking. At this rate, this wouldn't end well.

"Love? As if. But even if no other clan is behind this, it will end now. He will come home to his family where he belongs, and that's my last word."

"Guys-"

"What home? What family? Now you suddenly care about him? Now you're worried about his well-being? Don't make me laugh!"

"How dare you-" Hiroki took a threatening step in Howl's direction, who stayed completely unfazed.

"He didn't have a family when he really needed one. And you didn't care about his well-being when he went through hell. He doesn't need you anymore, so get the hell out!"

"YOU IDIOTS!!!" Hiki yelled and finally got their attention. He was standing next to them with teary eyes. "Are you crazy?! Stop this!! Stop yelling at each other and stop saying those hurtful things! You're both family, I don't want you to fight! ...Tsk, I can't stand this any longer." He grabbed his backpack and opened the door. "Call me when you're done locking horns!!" He slammed the door behind him, leaving the two startled men behind.

"...That was the first time that I witnessed him raising his voice," Hiroki broke the silence after a moment.

"I think we should talk like civilized people," Howl said, and with a hand gesture, he offered Hiroki a seat. "Coffee or tea?"

"Tea."

Howl felt horrible. He shouldn't have lost his poise. Not that the things he said were wrong per se, but they seemed to have triggered him. Chasing after him wouldn't have been of any use, though. He obviously wanted them to solve their dispute, so the two men had an extensive conversation.

Meanwhile, Hiki was heading out of the building, down the street. He was so angry at them for multiple reasons… although, as he thought about it, he was actually more sad than angry. Hiroki and Howl were both so important to Hiki, he had imagined their first meeting to be different. And Howl wasn't wrong. Where did his brother's sudden concern come from, when he didn't seem to really care about him before… Why did he show up now when Hiki finally was in a better place… in more than one way. Crap, I can't believe that I yelled at them and called them idiots, he suddenly realized. Hiki hated when people raised their voices. He immediately felt thrown back to the time when his mother… Hiki shook his head to get rid of those bad thoughts and decided to go to a nearby café. He ordered some donuts filled with strawberry jam and hot chocolate with whipped cream. He needed sugary comfort food, urgently. Settling down at the counter, he promptly indulged in his soothing meal. He took the first bite and the glaze of the freshly baked donut melted in his mouth, his taste buds exploding as the sweet and warm strawberry jam spread out on his tongue. He closed his eyes while the tenseness was giving way to relaxation, and a soft moan escaped his sugar glaze covered lips.

"You really seem to enjoy your meal," someone chuckled. An unfamiliar voice pulled Hiki out of his ecstatic state. Hiki glanced to his right. There was a tall man in his 30's with black, slicked-back hair tied back into a low ponytail, wearing a dark blue suit standing in front of the seat next to him.

"Is this taken?" The stranger smiled.

"N-No, please help yourself," Hiki answered flustered, he felt caught for some reason.

"Thanks. Looks good, may I ask what you are having?" The man sat down. Hiki didn't really feel like having a conversation at that moment, but he also didn't want to be rude, so he answered.

"They're strawberry jam donuts. They're really good."

"Oh, I see. And the glaze is light pink like your hair, that's cute," the man chuckled.

"Right…" Hiki replied briefly and took another bite. What a weirdo, he thought.

"My name is Fujimura Touma. With the kanji for mountain top. Nice to meet you. And you are?" He smiled brightly at Hiki who started to get a little annoyed at this obtrusive stranger. He just wanted to eat his donuts in silence, calm down from the situation earlier, give Hiroki and Howl some time to talk things out, and go back home…

"My name is Ueda… Hikaru." His answer didn't seem to satisfy that man, he still stared at him questioning. "W-With the kanji for brightness…" he added hesitantly."

"Oooh, that name suits you!" He smiled again, but Hiki didn't notice. He was focused on finishing his meal, and he was worried over Howl and his brother. He wondered if they would really use the time to talk, or if they were fighting even more after he left. Would Hiroki still insist on him going back, or would Howl be able to convince him otherwise?

"So, Ueda-kun… Do you come here often?" The stranger still tried to continue their conversation, but suddenly Hiki's phone rang. He frantically rummaged around in his backpack and finally found it. Seeing Howl's name on the display made his heart skip a beat. He took a deep breath, picked up the phone and asked: "Are you two done?"

"We're done," Howl answered.

"Did you continue fighting after I left?"

"No, we didn't. We talked it out like adults. Please come back home. It's lonely here without you, I don't like it."

Again, Hiki's heart skipped a beat. "Alright Howl, I'll come back. See you in a bit." He hung up and smiled.

"Howl? What an interesting name," the man next to him noted. "Was that a friend?"

Why was that guy so meddlesome, Hiki wondered. "My boyfriend," he answered bluntly. "I'm sorry, it was nice to meet you, but I have to leave now. Have a nice day." Hiki grabbed his backpack, his cardigan, and his hot chocolate, and rushed out. He would have bid farewell in a more polite way, but Hiki had to admit that he had already forgotten that guy's name. And shortly after he left, he had forgotten about him completely. The only thing he could think of was to get home and see Howl. He felt bad for yelling at him and wanted to apologize. Hiki picked up the pace.

"I'm home," he said naturally when he entered their condo and froze upon a sudden realization; that was the first time he had said that.

"Welcome back." Howl greeted him as Hiki entered the living room. It felt like they were a married couple; his heart skipped a beat. The two men were sitting on the sofa, looking at him.

"Oniisan, Howl, I-I'm sorry," Hiki started talking. "I shouldn't have yelled at you." He bowed apologetically.

"As if you're the one here who has to apologize, Hikkun." Howl got up and ruffled through his lover's hair. "I'll be in my office." He looked at Hiroki, nodded, and left.

"Eh…?"

"Come sit with me, we need to talk."

Hiki nodded and sat down on the sofa next to his brother. "Are… Are you mad at me?" he asked timidly.

"I should be the one asking that. I have to apologize to you. I came here with absolutely no knowledge about him. I should've done some research and I should've heard you out. Tch, I shouldn't have come here in the first place."

"No, I'm… I'm happy that you're here. And that we're talking. We haven't really talked in a long time."

Both men went silent for a moment.

"I think the reason why I was so indignant was… Because I failed as a big brother before."

"Huh?" Hiki was shocked. "What do you mean?"

"I failed at protecting you and Satoshi from that ambush. I failed at protecting him from those bullets and I failed at protecting you from our mother. And today that guy made me realize that I should've been there for you back then. But I was so wound up in my self-reproach after Toshi had died, that I didn't think about how much you needed someone to catch you. You went through hell and you've been there all by yourself. I want to deeply apologize for not being the brother you deserved. I overreacted today, I know that now. But I wanted to protect you this time at least. Until now I knew you were safe at home, but from now on you'll be alone and that worries me. But you've grown and I can't force you. Especially since you even have our father's consent."

"Oniisan, I'm not alone. I have Howl."

"Yeah. He's a good man."

Hiki felt like crying, but he held back in front of his brother. "Don't think that way. Don't think that you weren't able to protect us, it wasn't your fault. None of it. Sometimes bad things just happen. What we need to try to do is cope with them, grow from them, and move on. And you were the one who stopped mother back then, don't forget that. If it wasn't for you…" Hiki paused for a moment to collect himself. "And back then you said something to me that saved me, do you remember that day?"

"I do…"

"So don't say that you're a bad big brother, because that's not how I see you at all. I felt lonely back then, yes. But you obviously had your own struggles, so don't beat yourself up for it. You're a good person, Oniichan. And I'm glad that you're my big brother."

"You're just like him, it's really amazing. You both own a pure heart. I'm actually glad that you found someone you trust. You told him about your past and although he didn't tell me exactly what you said, it showed that he knows you very well. Better than I do. I honestly hope that you can be free and happy now, Hicchan."

"Thank you," Hiki smiled.

"Alright, I'll take my leave now." He got up and Hiki showed him out. "Take care, little brother," he said before he stepped into the elevator.

"You too! And please feel free to visit us whenever you're around!"

"Will do. Teasing that guy is too much fun," Hiroki winked and the doors closed. Hiki chuckled, but his throat and eyes started burning. He still held back a lot of emotions from that conversation. It was so revealing and insightful, he learned so many things about his brother and was finally able to understand him and his behavior in the past much better. Hiki sighed and went to look for Howl. He found him typing something at his desk. He walked closer and laid his hand on his lover's shoulder.

"Ah, Hikkun, is he gone?"

Hiki nodded. "Can I sit there?" he asked silently and pointed on Howl's lap.

"Sure, come here." He rolled away from his desk and Hiki immediately settled down sideways on his lap and hugged Howl tightly.

"Just a bit…"

Howl hugged him back and Hiki finally burst out in tears.

"Hikkun, why are you crying? Did that bastard say something mean? I swear-"

Hiki sobbed so much, he wasn't able to say anything and just shook his head. Howl felt his warm tears dripping on his shoulder and his heartfelt heavy. He tightened his grip around his lover and let him cry out his emotions. After a few minutes, his sobs became less and less until they stopped.

"I'm sorry," he muffled into Howl's shoulder. "I'm not sad or anything. It's just that… it was a lot." He sat up and dried his tears with the sleeves of his cardigan. "Ew. I'll get you a new shirt real quick, you're drenched in tears and snot."

"Hehe, it's fine. Are you feeling better now?"

Hiki nodded. "He gave us his consent. I'm so happy," he gasped.

"I'm happy too. But even if your brother wouldn't have given us his consent, I wouldn't have let you go back. You're my Hikkun and I can't live without you anymore," he said with a soft voice while helping him dry his tears.

"I wouldn't have gone back anyway, no matter what. The thought of not being with you… I can't stand it!"

Howl kissed him softly on the lips. "I missed you, Hikkun."

"But I was only gone for an hour."

"You up and left just like that, I had no idea where you went, and you were angry... I don't want you to be angry with me." Howl looked at him with such a worried expression it made Hiki's heartthrob.

"I walked around for a bit and then I went to a café and ate donuts. I have a bad habit of eating junk food when I'm stressed... I wasn't angry with you, I was sad that the two of you were fighting. I'm sorry that I made you worry."

"It's fine. It's over now. How do you feel?"

"I feel completely drained, to be honest. But there's still so much to do…"

"How about we take it slow for today?"

"But…"

"Let's retreat to the sofa for the rest of the day. We can just order in, be lazy and enjoy our first Sunday together, what do you say?"

"That sounds great. And I still have six weeks before Uni starts, that means I'll be at home all the time, so I can take care of the rest of the decorations and such next week."

"But don't overdo it, Hikkun, okay?"

"Yessir!" Hiki saluted jokingly and got up. While Howl ordered their food, Hiki searched for some blankets and they snuggled up on the sofa and watched some movies.

At one point Howl had nodded off. Hiki went to the bathroom and the kitchen afterwards. He had almost put everything in its place the day before, and there were so many new utensils he'd like to try out, so he decided that he wanted to cook dinner for them.

"Oh wow… this looks like an ice desert," he said to himself as he checked the fridge. "Guess I'll have to go and get some groceries." He left a note in case Howl would wake up while he was gone, grabbed his backpack, and left.

Hiki was still quite unfamiliar with the neighborhood, but he managed to find a store. He bought what he needed for dinner and some more things for breakfast the next day. He also wanted to make a bento for Howl and got a box and some decorations. He got the bare necessities because he didn't want to carry too much, and decided to go back tomorrow instead. While he was inside the store, it unexpectedly started raining like crazy. Hiki didn't want to wait until it was over, so he just walked home in the rain. When he arrived in the entrance hall, he was drenched all the way down to his underwear.

"Dammit. Sorry Sato-san for getting the floor all wet," he apologized.

"It's okay, Chibi. Just don't get sick. Use an umbrella next time."

"I didn't even know it was supposed to rain," Hiki mumbled and took the elevator upstairs. He brought the bags to the kitchen, dried them, and put them away because he didn't want them to go bad. "Achoo! Oh my…"

"Hikkun!"

"Wah!" Hiki jolted. Howl was standing at the kitchen entrance and glared at him, his fists placed on his hips, ready to scold him. "What the heck are you doing here? Why are you standing in front of the freezer while you're wet all over?!"

"I-I just wanted to quickly put the stuff away…"

"I was worried when I saw it was raining so hard. I just wanted to call you, take the car and pick you up."

"Why? It's just water, not acid. ACHOO!" He sniffled.

"Tch." Howl took Hiki by his wrist and dragged him to the bathroom.

"Howl, what are you doing?"

"You're going to take a hot bath. Let's hope you don't get sick." He turned on the faucet and started taking off Hiki's clothes while nagging him for walking home in the rain.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" He took off the cardigan. "I could've taken you to the store by car!" He continued with his shirt. "Why did you want to go there in the first place?" He opened his jeans. "We could've just ordered in again for dinner and went to the store together tomorrow." He pulled down Hiki's jeans. Hiki was so startled by his worried lover's actions, that he couldn't say anything. But even though Howl clearly was agitated, he had been very gentle.

"Now get in," Howl ordered him, staring at Hiki's flushed face. "What are you waiting for?" His eyes suddenly wandered down to Hiki's exposed body and he finally realized what he had done. "Crap. I'm sorry, Hikkun!" He averted his eyes. "Jeez, I can't believe that I'm mothering you! Sorry, I completely overdid it, I'll leave now. But please get in, I really don't want you to get sick. Take your time, I'll be in the living room."

Hiki noticed that Howl's face had gotten red… was he blushing? His heart skipped a beat and he grabbed Howl's arm to stop him from leaving.

"Huh? What is it?"

Hiki stepped forward, got on his tiptoes, and kissed him. Their kiss deepened immediately and their tongues entwined passionately. Normally Hiki was extremely shy and self-conscious about his body, but being with Howl felt so natural at that moment, that Hiki broke free from his shyness. He wanted more.

"Uhm… Howl, I… I want you to touch me… like this…" He took Howl's hand and placed it on his chest, it felt warm on his cold, moist skin.

"Hikkun, you're really testing my self-restraint here…"

Hiki nodded softly. He wasn't sure if he was really ready to go that far, but he felt this sudden desire and wasn't able to think straight. He just wanted to be closer to Howl.

"Alright, but if you feel uncomfortable at any time, tell me and I'll stop."

Hiki nodded again. "Okay."

"Come on." He took Hiki's hand and they walked over to the master bedroom.


	5. His first time

Howl guided Hiki to their bed and kissed him. One, two soft pecks, then they indulged in a deep kiss that became more and more passionate. Howl held him tight while Hiki melted in his arms. There was that hummingbird in Hiki’s chest again. He was so tense because of all that excitement, he could barely stand upright. Soft moans escaped his lips as their laps touched and Hiki could feel Howl’s hardened manhood. He was surprised about how much it aroused him.  
“Hikkun, I love you. I wanted you for so long now. I want to touch and kiss every inch of your body...” he said with a flushed face. “But if you’re not ready yet, I will accept it. Please tell me at any time if you want me to stop.”  
Hiki's heart skipped a beat. He admired Howl for his strength because he himself wasn’t sure if he would be able to tell him to stop.  
“Okay, but for now, please keep going…” he huffed.  
Howl smiled and they returned to their deep kiss and Howl gently pushed Hiki down on the bed.  
“Move to the middle, Hikkun.”  
He did as he was told and scooted up.  
“Just lie down and relax,” Howl said with a comforting, low voice. Hiki nodded, but he felt like he was about to explode because of all those emotions he felt. Anxiety mixed with arousal, lust, and desire... Howl kissed Hiki on the lips again, but then he moved downwards to his neck.  
“Mh…” It felt ticklish, but good at the same time; he felt a warm, tingling sensation rushing down to his hips.  
Howl's tongue slid down from Hiki's neck to his perky nipple.  
“Nh, ah,” he moaned.  
Howl’s hand had moved to Hiki's already half-hard dick. He pulled down his underpants, gently grabbed it, and let his hand slide up and down a few times, while licking and sucking Hiki's nipples. Hiki was moaning and panting beneath him. He had touched himself before, of course, but being touched by someone else was a completely unfamiliar sensation. “Haa feels… good… mh…” he huffed aroused.  
Then, Howl’s tongue moved further downwards.  
“Ngah! Howl, no!” Hiki panted, but protesting was useless. Howl’s tongue slid up and down Hiki's shaft before he finally took his erect penis into his mouth. Hiki felt hot all over. Partly because of the embarrassment, but mostly from the pleasure, he had never felt before.   
“Ah! Howl…”  
Howl’s head was bobbing up and down, but suddenly he stopped moving, withdrew his mouth from Hiki’s dick, got up, and rummaged around in his nightstand’s drawer.  
“Hikkun, I'm gonna stretch you now. It might feel weird at the beginning, but I promise once you get used to it, it'll feel good. Are you ready?”  
Hiki wasn’t sure, but he nodded, panting. The look of Howl’s luscious blue eyes and his erotic flushed face was almost enough to make Hiki cum already. Howl took off his underwear completely and opened a bottle with a clear liquid.  
“Wait,” Hiki suddenly shouted.  
“What is it? Are you scared?” Howl asked worriedly.  
“No, but… I’m all naked, but you’re still fully dressed. I feel awkward like this…” he admitted.  
“You’re right, how inconsiderate of me.” Howl put the bottle down, got off the bed, grabbed his shirt, and pulled it over his head. He threw it on the ground and did the same with his pants and underwear. Hiki swallowed hard at the look of his lover’s naked body. Howl’s physique was quite muscular, but not too much. Hiki always thought that his shoulders were fairly wide, but he looked even more impressive now. His skin was spotless and a little darker than Hiki’s, who was pretty pale. And his penis was fully erect.  
“I hope you like what you see,” Howl smirked and got back onto the bed.  
Hiki nodded dreamily. The size of it scared him a little, but he didn’t want to show it.  
“Me too. You’re beautiful, Hikkun. Your body is so slender and your skin is so soft.” He caressed his lover’s leg. Ever since their talk at the sakura picnic, Hiki didn’t worry that much about his scars anymore, but there were still some things he wondered about.  
“So you’re okay with… doing these things with a man? My… private parts don’t gross you out, and my bony body and flat chest are not a turn-off?”  
“Did you worry about that because you’re my first man?”  
Hiki timidly nodded again.  
“Then let me ask you since I’m your first man as well, do you feel grossed out by my body?”  
Hiki shook his head ecstatically. “No!”  
“Did you get the impression that I hated sucking you off?”  
Hiki’s blushing intensified. “N-No…”  
“I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t like it, Hikkun. You’re insanely sexy and I can’t wait to be inside you. I want to feel you in all possible ways.” Something that Howl didn’t mention was the fact that because he had never done it with a man, he had done some research in the past few months on how to proceed, because he didn’t want to hurt Hiki. Howl had been very thorough, but he was still nervous. He did his best to hide it though, to prevent his lover from feeling more anxious than he already did. Howl took the bottle again and poured some of the liquid on his hand.  
“Hikkun, please spread your legs a little more,” he asked his tense lover and positioned himself right in front of Hiki’s lap. “Raise your hips a little again, please.”  
Hiki did so.  
“I warmed up the lube in my hand, so it shouldn’t be too cold. I’m gonna start now, please try to relax...” Howl said as he placed his middle finger at Hiki’s entrance and started massaging it a little. Hiki jolted from that sudden, unfamiliar sensation.  
“Wah!”  
“Is it still cold? I’m sorry. You’re not familiar with using this part of your body for…well, for what we’re about to use it for, but I’ll make sure to prepare you properly.” He pushed his finger in slowly, bit by bit. “How does it feel? Does it hurt?”  
“Nh...It...it feels weird, but it doesn’t hurt.” Hiki’s face was glowing red. He tried his best to relax, but it wasn’t easy to do so with his boyfriend's finger in his butt.  
Howl started moving his finger in and out. “You’re still too tense, let’s see if I can help you relax more…” he said, then leaned over and got back to sucking and licking Hiki’s erection.  
“No! Ah...” Hiki grabbed Howl’s head. The sensation of his slippery tongue-twisting and sliding around his tip was almost too much for him. A mix of precum and saliva was dripping down from Howl’s chin. The sensation of being teased in two places at the same time was unbearable when Howl suddenly twisted his finger in a weird way.   
“AHN! Howl…! NGH!” Hiki shuddered.  
“Ah, found it," Howl smirked. He kept teasing that one spot and it almost drove Hiki insane. “This is your prostate, Hikkun. Does it feel good when I tease it?”  
“Mh, ahh, Howl, please stop! Ah… I can’t anymo- HNN!” He felt incredibly embarrassed for making those sounds, covered his flushed face with his hands, and panted heavily.  
“Hikkun, I’ll add another finger now. Tell me if it hurts.”  
“Please… no more licking... or rubbing that place inside, it’s too much,” he begged desperately.  
Howl chuckled.  
“Alright, no more licking, promise.” He pushed another finger in slowly. He repeated his routine from before and pushed and pulled his fingers in and out, twisting and turning them from time to time. “You’re becoming soft, good. Just keep breathing evenly like this.”  
After a few minutes of thrusting, Howl added another finger, watching his lover’s reactions closely.  
In the beginning, it had felt very weird, but Hiki started to enjoy it. Maybe a little too much, because he felt like Howl’s fingers weren’t enough anymore; he was longing for more.  
“Howl... haa… Stop that already,” Hiki panted. Howl stopped moving instantly.  
“Are you okay, Hikkun? Does it hurt after all? Hmm, weird, you’re so soft now, it shouldn't...”  
“No, just stop using your fingers! I want your… I want more…”  
Hiki’s needy expression almost killed Howl, since he was past his limit already and his dick had been rock hard for a while and he was leaking precum like crazy. He had held back for Hiki’s sake, but him basically begging for it - that was too much. He was glad that Hiki voiced his desires, so he knew that his lover was ready now.  
“Alright, here I go. Turn sideways, please.”  
“Eh? What? Why?” Hiki asked confused.  
“Since it’s your first time, it will be easier on your body if I enter you from behind and not in missionary. It will put less pressure on your hips. You can also get on all fours, that’d be okay too…”  
“N-No way! Sideways is fine…” Hiki said flustered and turned around. He was now lying on his right side and Howl positioned himself behind him. Hiki’s heart was beating like crazy.  
“You have to lift up your leg a little, so I can enter you, Hikkun. Can you hold it up for a moment? I’ll take over once I’m inside you.”  
Howl’s blunt instructions embarrassed Hiki to no end, but he did as he had been told, lifted up his leg, and supported it with his arm. He peeked over his shoulder to see what Howl was doing.  
“Why are you putting on a condom? I can’t get pregnant…”  
“That’s because my cum can cause you stomach pain, Hikkun. It’s not good for you. We could clean you afterwards, but I don’t want to risk anything and put an even bigger toll on your body,” he explained while preparing himself. After he had put on the protection, he spread some lube on his hard dick and placed it on Hiki’s twitching entrance. Hiki could feel his warm chest and his beating heart on his back. Apparently, Howl was just as excited as him.  
“I’m gonna put it in now, Hikkun. Try not to cramp, breathe evenly...”  
Hiki could feel something hot entering him. It felt uncomfortable and it hurt a little as his muscle got stretched widely.  
“Ngh… Ah! Mh…” Hiki moaned and unwillingly teared up.  
“D-Does it hurt, Hikkun?” Howl panted while pushing in as slow as he could. “It’s so hot inside you…”  
“I’m... fine…” he said, but it was a lie. The pain wasn’t unbearable, but it felt weird and the thought of Howl’s big thing entering him and maybe tearing him up scared him. He clung onto his pillow and tried to breathe, but it felt like he wasn’t able to. As if something would strangle him. He panicked. Howl instantly noticed his lover’s struggle and paused.  
“Hikkun, it’s okay, calm down. Breathe…” He reached around and held Hiki tight. He pressed his upper body against his small boyfriend’s back and breathed in and out deeply. “Like this… breathe… It’s okay, I stopped.” He breathed a few more times and Hiki joined in. He slowly calmed down again.   
“I’m all the way in, Hikkun, but I will pull out in a moment when you’re calmer. Please bear with me a bit longer, it’ll be over soon.”  
“No… haa… haa… Don’t… pull out… I’m okay now,” he panted.  
“It’s fine, Hikkun. You don’t have to force yourself, we can try again another time.”  
“No! Please… Your fingers started feeling good, so I’m sure this will too. I want to do this with you,” Hiki begged desperately. “I just suddenly went out of breath and panicked. It doesn’t hurt; let’s keep going, please.”  
Howl sighed. He couldn’t say that he was thrilled about ending it there either. “Okay, let’s give it another try…”  
“B-But can we change positions, please? I don’t like this one, I want to hug you too…”  
“Sure, Hikkun. But I’ll have to pull out to change to missionary.”  
“You’re going to put it back in again right away though, right?” Hiki asked while looking at him with puppy eyes.  
“I will, I will. Don’t worry,” Howl chuckled. “Are you ready?”  
Hiki nodded and Howl slowly pulled out. It unexpectedly wasn’t a bad feeling.  
“Mh…”  
“Seems like you got used to my size, that’s good.” Their little conversation seemed to have distracted Hiki enough to relax a bit. Howl was glad and didn’t feel as guilty for proceeding. He got up and moved between Hiki’s legs. Then he grabbed a pillow. “Raise your hips, Hikkun, this will make it a bit more comfortable for you." Hiki did so and Howl placed the pillow underneath his hips. He placed his dick at Hiki’s entrance again and slowly pushed in.  
This time, Hiki stayed calm. He breathed evenly and moaned from time to time. When his tip was inside, he leaned over and leaned on his arms, hovering over his panting boyfriend.  
“Kh… Hikkun, I’m all the way in now. How do you feel?” He looked at him with feverish eyes and Hiki’s heart jumped.  
“Howl… it feels good…” he smiled broadly. A leftover tear from earlier ran down his cheek. Howl leaned down and kissed it away. Hiki took his face with both hands, they kissed on the lips and as their tongues entwined, Howl started moving. He went very slow in the beginning, but his movements became faster with time. Hiki was relaxed and Howl could tell that he felt good. He was relieved.  
“Hn… Hikkun, it feels so good inside you... “  
“It feels good for me too… ah… hn…”   
“I will make you feel even better…” Howl gently grabbed Hiki’s now only half-erect dick and he started pumping, mainly focusing on the tip since that was the place where Hiki felt it the most.  
“Wah! Ah! Howl! If you touch there...!”  
“Hikkun, you’re clamping down on me… At this rate, I won’t last much longer…”  
“Ah! You’re so hot… inside me… faster! Do it faster!” Hiki begged breathlessly.  
Howl followed Hiki’s orders and started moving faster and more rhythmically. Hiki’s mind went blank and he felt all his power leaving his body. They were moving together while Howl nibbled and licked Hiki’s neck as Hiki held onto him tightly.  
“Ngh, ah! Uah!… Howl… I feel weird again… Inside! Ah!” Hiki’s breathing became ragged, he was covered in sweat and his dick was twitching and oozing precum.  
“Seems like I found your good spot again, Hikkun,” Howl huffed as he pounded into Hiki relentlessly, aiming for his lover’s prostate.  
“No! Howl! I-I’m gonna…WAH!”  
“Me too, Hikkun. I’m close too.” Howl grunted and picked up the pace.  
“AH, AH! HOWL I’M - UWAH AAH!!!” Hiki shuddered and climaxed while Howl kept thrusting into him, but only seconds later he climaxed as well and his movements slowed down until they stopped. They both breathed heavily as their bodies began to relax. Howl pushed himself up to look at Hiki, hovering over him again.  
“Are you okay? How does your body feel?”  
“M’okay… Feel groggy…” Hiki huffed weakly.  
“Heh. I’m going to pull out now.”  
Hiki nodded and jolted as Howl withdrew his flattening dick. He got rid of the condom and slumped down next to his exhausted lover, who rolled over into his arms and snuggled against his chest. Howl’s scent and his warmth were like a big, cozy blanket for Hiki’s soul. “Thank you, Howl.” Hiki whispered.  
“What are you thanking me for?”  
“Because you’re always so considerate and cautious. You always look after me and I know I can trust you completely. Thank you for that.”  
“Ugh, you’re really too cute…” Howl embraced him tightly and they stayed like that for a bit.  
“.........Hikkun?”  
“...Mmmh?”  
“Don’t fall asleep. You’re butt naked and sweaty. And you walked through the rain earlier. You’ll catch a cold.”  
“It’s fine…” he murmured and nodded off.  
He’s completely exhausted, but I can’t just let him sleep like this, Howl thought. He carefully released Hiki from his embrace, got up, and went to the bathroom. He prepared a bucket of hot soapy water, a cloth, and a towel, and brought them to the bedroom.  
“Hikkun?” he asked in a normal tone to see how deeply asleep Hiki was. He didn’t react at all, so Howl took the risk and started wiping him gently and carefully. He cleaned Hiki’s body thoroughly, and after he was done, he wrapped him in a big, warm blanket. Then he went and took a shower and afterwards he went back to bed and watched his lover until he fell asleep himself. 

On the next morning, Howl woke up and found Hiki's side of the bed empty. He got up and went to the bathroom. It was a Monday, so he had to leave for work soon. As he entered the living room, the smell of something delicious tingled in his nose. He found Hiki in the kitchen, busy preparing a rich breakfast.   
"Good morning, Hikkun."  
"Ah Howl, you're awake. Oh, it's seven already, I better hurry up. Just sit down at the hatch, I'm almost done. Coffee or tea?"   
Howl chuckled. Hiki was so diligent. He walked over to him and leaned on the counter where Hiki was busy filling two bowls with fluffy white rice.   
"Are you too busy for a good morning kiss?"   
Hiki looked at him and smiled. "Never." He leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. Howl smiled content.   
"You’re warm, Hikkun,” he noticed. “How do you feel? You were soaked when you came back yesterday…”  
“I’m fine, it’s just because I’m standing at the stove.”  
“Is your body okay? Do your hips hurt, or your buttho-"   
"Waah!" Hiki pressed his hand on Howl’s mouth. "I'm fine! Jeez, you always have to word everything that comes to your mind. You have no filter at all." He blushed.   
Howl took his hand away and kissed it. "I'm just worried."  
Hiki's heart throbbed at the sight of his lover's concerned expression. "Really, I'm fine. My body feels a little sore, but it's gonna pass soon." In fact, Hiki had felt pretty bad that morning and had a hard time getting up. He didn’t lie, his body felt sore, but he also had a headache and just felt groggy overall. The moving, including pushing and carrying around the furniture and all, plus their steamy encounter, just became noticeable, was what he thought.   
"Well, we did this and that last night after all… But did it feel good for you?"   
Hiki blushed again. "Yeah. It was a bit scary at the beginning, but you were so gentle…”  
“I’m glad. Wanna go for another round? Hehe,” Howl said jokingly.  
“Tch, you wish. Go sit, breakfast is ready. And then leave, I have a lot of things on my to-do list for today.” Hiki bumped his hip into his lover’s side. Howl moved out of the way, took some of the dishes, and brought them over to the table at the service hatch.  
“This looks great, Hikkun! Rice, tamagoyaki, miso soup, grilled fish… Jeez… When did you get up to make all this?” He sat down, and Hiki, who brought the rest of the meal on a big tray, sat down next to him.  
“I got up at five, took a shower, and started around six,” he answered as he filled up their plates.  
“Why did you get up that early? You could’ve slept in…”  
“I always wake up between five and six, sometimes earlier. I often have nightmares ever since Satoshi passed. They were worse when I was younger, but I think my body is just used to it by now.”  
“Right, you mentioned it before.”  
“But… I also wanted to have breakfast with you. It was something I was looking forward to a lot. Having meals together…” Hiki smiled. “And yesterday we didn’t get the chance to have breakfast together, so…”  
“Well, let’s eat, then.” Howl leaned over, kissed him, and gently nibbled on his lips.  
“Not me!” Hiki jolted away and laughed. He took a piece of fish and put it in Howl’s mouth. “Eat this,” he grinned. “It’s healthier.”  
“But you’re healthy for my soul.”  
“Your body needs energy for today, so eat now. You don’t have much time anymore.”  
“Tch, now you’re mothering me.” Howl pouted but turned to his meal.  
“With the difference that no one’s gonna end up naked,” Hiki mumbled.  
“You say that as if it’s a good thing,” Howl joked.  
After they were done, he took his suit jacket and Hiki brought him his briefcase from the office.  
“Ugh, heavy!” He carried it with both hands on the handle and waddled over to Howl, who took over and easily held it with one hand.  
“Tch. Show-off,” Hiki pouted. Howl chuckled at his cuteness.  
“Thank you, Hikkun. I’m sorry that we can’t have lunch together because of my meeting. What are your plans for today?”  
“It’s okay. Um, I’ll put away the rest of the kitchen utensils we bought, complete the decorations of all rooms, clean up, do the laundry and I need to start preparing for Uni… Oh, and when you’re done with work, we’re going to do some grocery shopping, right? I need to fill up the cabinets and the freezer, and we need some fresh vegetables...”  
“Easy there. Please don’t overdo it. You still have weeks until your semester starts, there’s no hurry with the decorations and all.”  
“But I want to finish it… Haa… okay, I won’t overdo it, promise.”  
Howl sighed deeply, knowing that Hiki would probably unwillingly break his promise anyway. “I love you, Hikkun. Have a nice day.”  
“I love you too. Have a great day too and don’t overdo it either,” he smiled. Showing his lover out made him incredibly happy. They kissed and Howl left.  
“Alright, let’s get started,” he said to himself and rolled up his sleeves. He finished up the kitchen, then moved over to the office and the guest room. He hung up pictures, arranged decorations on the cupboards, tried to find the best places to put the plants they had gotten, dusted, decorated, then vacuumed and mopped the floors. In the end, there was only the laundry left, but when he bent over to stuff everything into the washing machine, he suddenly felt dizzy and had to sit down for a moment. “Oh my… what the...?” he asked himself as he slumped down onto the floor. “Okay, just one moment. Calm down, body.” He looked at his phone to check the time. “Woah!” It was already six in the evening, Hiki hadn’t noticed how much time had passed. He didn’t even have lunch, but now that he thought about it, he wasn’t hungry at all. He decided to do the laundry the next day and to cook dinner instead. Howl had sent him a message earlier to tell him that he’d be back at eight and Hiki was excited for him to come home. The dizziness was gone after a couple of minutes, so he slowly got up again. Suddenly his phone started ringing. He jolted and dropped it, but he managed to catch it at the last moment and picked up the call.  
“Hello, this is Hikaru the amazing Ninja, how can I help you, sir?”  
“Hikkun?”  
“Yeah, it’s me, sorry.” He giggled. “How’s work going?”  
“It’s stressful, like every Monday, but I’m in between two meetings, so I used the opportunity to call you, I wanted to hear your voice.”  
Hiki’s heart jumped. “Hehe, but you’ll be home in two hours.”  
“I can’t help it, I miss you. How’s everything going?”  
“I miss you too,” Hiki smiled, lovestruck. “It’s going great, I’m almost done. Just a few minor things like sorting all my books and putting them on the shelf. But I was just about to do the laundry and saw that it’s so late already, I should prepare dinner…”  
“Do we have anything left for you to cook?”  
“Oh right, I forgot that I didn’t buy that much.”  
“Was there even something you could have for lunch, or did you order in?”  
“Ahh, right! I forgot that we’re going to the store later! I hope it’s a big one, we need a lot!” Hiki dodged the question clumsily. He knew Howl would be worried if he knew that Hiki hadn’t eaten anything since the morning. “So you’ll be home at eight, right?”  
“Yeah, be ready by then so we can leave right away after I change into something more casual… Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m coming. Sorry, Hikkun, gotta go. Don’t do the laundry now, go and rest until I’m back, you’ve done more than enough for today.”  
“Okay, okay. See you later!”  
They hung up and Hiki walked over to the living room. He stopped in front of the sofa, but instead of sitting down to rest, he turned around and went to the study. If I sit down now, I’ll get super lazy, he thought. So he decided to arrange his books instead.  
“Hikkun? Where are you?” He suddenly heard Howl’s voice.  
“Eh? Howl, why are you here already? I’m in the study!”  
“Hikkun, what are you doing? I told you to be ready… And I also told you to rest.” Howl frowned at the sight of his lover sitting on the floor, surrounded by piles of books.  
“I’m arranging my books… you said eight…”  
“It’s ten past eight…”  
“So you’re late, tch. Go and change clothes already so we can leave!”’  
“Geh! Stop twisting the situation, I told you to…”  
“Hehe, you should see your face,” Hiki giggled. “Sorry, I forgot the time, but I’m ready to leave. I just need to put my shoes on and a jacket and I’m good to go.”  
“Alright, let me help you up, and then I’ll go change.” Howl offered Hiki a hand and he took it, but as he got up, he got dizzy again, staggered, and almost fell.  
“Hikkun, what the…” Howl caught him.  
“Oh my, sorry. My legs gave in, I was sitting on the floor for too long, hehe. But you’ve got some mad ninja skills too, I’m impressed,” he chuckled.  
“Are you okay now? Maybe we should postpone the grocery shopping and just order in.”  
“No, I’m fine. Jeez, you’re such a worrywart. Go change, I’ll wait at the door.”  
Howl reluctantly went over to the bedroom to switch from his suit to some jeans and a sweater, and the couple left. 

“I think we bought the whole store,” Howl moaned after they were done bringing all the bags to the kitchen.   
“Mm-hm.” Hiki felt exhausted. His whole body hurt, his headache had gotten much worse and he just felt miserable overall. “I’ll put away the frozen food and everything that belongs in the fridge, and the rest I’ll do tomorrow. I just want to go to bed and sleep.”  
“Hikkun, you don’t look so good… You’re pale…”   
“I feel a little queasy, maybe it’s the pizza we had earlier.”  
“Go to bed, I’ll put away the stuff and be there when I’m done.” He took a package of fresh tuna from Hiki’s hands and gently pushed him out of the kitchen. His sluggish lover was too tired to object. He just went ahead to the bathroom and slumped down onto the bed. He fell asleep instantly. Shortly after, Howl joined him. 

On the next morning Howl’s alarm woke him up. He turned around to Hiki’s side and expected it to be empty again, but he was still snuggled up in his blanket. Howl thought that he must have been still super exhausted from the past couple of days, which was no wonder, he had completely overworked himself. Howl sighed, got out of the bed carefully so he wouldn’t wake him up, took a shower, and got dressed. But even by the time, he was ready to leave for work, Hiki was still sound asleep. He was a bit worried, but he had to leave, so he decided to check up on him during his lunch break. It was really convenient to work in the same building they lived in. Howl whispered a “Miss you, Hikkun…” and left.

Around two hours later Hiki finally woke up. His body felt even worse than the day before and he still had a headache and felt nauseous. He didn't really want to get up, but he was thirsty, so he crawled out of the bed and slouched to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Howl had already left and it was still a little weird for him to be in that big apartment all by himself, even though he loved that place so much. He poured himself a glass of cold water and emptied it in one go. He felt dizzy again and decided to take a walk to get his circulation going, so he went and got dressed. But when he was about to put his coat on he suddenly froze. He realized that he had not made a bento for Howl! That day, he wouldn’t be out at lunchtime, so he really wanted to prepare a good meal for him. Since Hiki hadn’t prepared breakfast, Howl probably hadn’t eaten right in the morning either.  
“Crap,” he cursed and rushed to the kitchen to see what he could prepare quickly. He did his best and had to finish it fast since it was almost noon. He arranged everything in the box and decorated it neatly. That should do for today, he thought and frowned, a bit unsatisfied. He took the time to add a little note for Howl that read: “I hope you like this. Be safe and don’t work too hard. I miss you and love you so much, Hikkun.” He added a little heart next to his name and smiled fondly.  
He put the note on the box and wrapped it in a dark blue Furoshiki and headed down to Howl’s office. The silence in the elevator made him notice that his headache had gotten worse and his body was aching really badly. He also felt a bit feverish. Dammit, he realized, I can’t get sick now, I have to pull myself together. He had just moved in with Howl, he didn’t want to be a burden to him in their first week together.  
He left the elevator and walked down the hallway over to Kinsley’s desk. Howl’s employees seemed busier than usual; Hiki almost felt like he was inside a beehive. But even though they were rushing around, everyone greeted Hiki politely. He had visited Howl there a lot in the past few months, so he had gotten familiar with his employees a little bit. At first, he had felt awkward since he wasn’t exactly a very social person, but that gradually changed and he felt more comfortable there now. He loved the atmosphere at the office, it was very casual, but he could tell how much his workers respected Howl. Not only as their boss but also as a person.  
Kinsley was sitting at his desk in front of the door of Howl’s personal office, focused on something he was typing on his computer. Hiki knew how important Kinsley was to Howl, that he was more than just his assistant. Kinsley was Howl’s best friend, and luckily he and Hiki got along great. He really liked and admired that diligent, hard-working, and kind man. And over the course of the past few months, they had become a little like friends as well.  
“Good morning, Kinsley-san! How are you today,” Hiki greeted the middle-aged man.  
“Oh, good morning Ueda-kun. I’m fine, how are you?”  
“I’m great, thank you,” Hiki lied. “Is he here? I forgot to give him his lunch this morning, so I wanted to bring it to him.”  
“He’s here, but he’s in a phone conference with a client right now. It’ll take a moment, so if you don’t mind waiting…”  
“Ah, no it’s okay. Would you do me a favor and give this to him?” Hiki asked and handed the bento over to Kinsley.  
“Sure,” he agreed as he took it and placed it on his desk.  
“Thank you, Kinsley-san. I'll be on my way then, have a nice day!” Hiki smiled, bowed respectfully, and headed to the elevator. He went out on a walk as he had planned. Hiki strolled through the park nearby, but he got tired fast and had to take a break on a bench.

When he arrived back home he felt absolutely horrible. He was short-winded, his body felt hot and sweaty, and he had started coughing. He had stopped at a Seven-Eleven to eat something, but he wasn’t actually hungry, so he only had an Onigiri. He took off his shoes and left them in the middle of the genkan. Normally he put them away neatly, but for once he didn’t care. He also just dropped his jacket and slouched over to the sofa.  
He huffed and coughed again as he sat down. All that coughing worsened his headache.  
“Ah, the laundry,” he suddenly remembered. He got up, walked over to the small room with the washing machine and dryer, and just as he put the laundry into the machine, his phone started ringing.  
“Hey, Howl. How’s your day,” Hiki asked, happy about his lover’s call. He pulled himself together. Howl was still at work, he needed to focus and not worry over his sick boyfriend.  
“Busier than I thought. I wanted to come home and check up on you during my lunch break, but I couldn’t make it. Are you okay? You slept like a log this morning.”  
“Yeah, sorry about that. I’m fine, I just got back from a walk. Oh, how about Sukiyaki for dinner?” Hiki asked and coughed. “Kh… Sorry.”  
“Hikkun, are you sure you’re okay? ” Howl asked worriedly.  
“I’m fine… I think I swallowed a bug earlier. Did you have enough time to eat your bento? Did you like it? Because I slept for so long, there wasn’t much time to prepare it, I hope it was okay…”  
“It was delicious, thank you for making it and bringing it to my office. But Hikkun, please… Yes, what is it? Just a second, Hikkun...”  
Hiki heard someone in the background who sounded like Kinsley.  
“Alright, I'm coming. Hikkun, I’m sorry, but I have to go. I have to meet with an important investor. I’ll be home around eight again.”  
“Okay, I’ll have dinner ready by then. Miss you!”  
“Miss you too, Hikkun.”  
Hiki smiled and they hung up. Somehow, he felt better now. He took a deep, careful breath, so he wouldn’t start coughing again, and sighed. “Alright, let’s get busy,” he said to himself. He finished the laundry but decided to iron everything tomorrow. Then he cleaned up the mess in the kitchen he had left when he made the bento. When he was cleaning, he thought that he really needed to study and prepare for Uni. Hiki was a straight-A student, but he had to work very hard for that. 

Hiki didn't think of himself as a very smart person by nature, but he knew now that if he just worked hard enough, he could achieve anything. He went to an elite private school for boys and he hated it. His classmates often made fun of him for his frail physique and his girly facial features, so he wasn’t able to make friends since no one wanted to get bullied for hanging out with him. Hiki's grades had been pretty bad in middle school because he was sick often. Plus he was dealing with the loss of his brother and the continuous abuse of his mother. The last thing he cared about was his grades. Even though his father sometimes scolded him and told him how disappointed he was, he couldn't have cared less at that time. And at least that way he got his attention. But then, one day, when he arrived home and walked past the guards at the entrance door, he overheard one of them saying: "I can't believe that this little wimp is going to be one of us one day, what a disgrace". A sudden realization shook him awake. Hiki didn't want to become like them. He didn’t want to become like the people who had killed his brother, so he set up an appointment with his father and talked to him. It wasn't easy, but with persistence and reasoning, he managed to convince him to let him take a different path.  
“I will allow you to choose a profession of your choice, but I have certain conditions,” Yasuhiro had said to him. “You will become a straight-A student. You will choose a career path with promotion prospects, and you will aim for a top University. If you can’t decide if you fail at improving your grades, or if you're not accepted to that University, you will step back and I will assign you to a job in the family business. And you will accept it unquestioningly.”  
Hiki was startled by all those harsh conditions. It almost felt like his father wanted him to fail. On top of that, his father had only given him two weeks to decide on his whole future. He busted his head over it night and day, but he had no idea what he'd like to do for a living... or what he was able to do. He wasn't particularly good at anything. He loved cooking and baking, but he didn’t have much experience, and his father would have never approved of it. But then, one night, a week before the end of his deadline, he was sitting in the dining room over some cookies and ice cream to eat his feelings away, when his brother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. He sat down with him and told him that he needed a little break from Hiki’s sister who had been nagging him all day. Knowing his sister, Hiki nodded in understanding and shared his snacks with him. He had always liked Tadao and he was happy to be able to talk to him about his problem. He was an adult who had both feet on the ground and he was firm in his opinions and beliefs. The only thing Hiki didn’t understand about him was why he was married to his sister, but he guessed that she probably had a loving and caring side, too, that she just decided not to show to him. Tadao told Hiki about his profession as a teacher and why he loved his job so much. He said: "It's fulfilling to teach a young person new things and to help them master difficult tasks. To see them grow with their success, but also their failures. Being a teacher means so much more than only teaching facts and numbers, you can also inspire your students and give them perspectives for their future."

Hiki was moved by his words and their whole conversation. He thought about it intensely for the next few days, did a lot of research, and decided eventually that that was exactly what he wanted to do. At his next appointment with his father, he told him about his plans. Hiki had everything sorted out and had worked really hard to collect valid arguments.  
“I want to visit Tokyo University and become a Japanese and History teacher. I will have the option of getting my doctorate and become a professor in the future.” Hiki closed his speech confidently.  
“Alright, Hikaru. I will approve of your career choice if you hand me a report card with straight A’s in one year from now. If only one mark is lower than that, you will forget about this whole thing. But if you can make it and reach your goal, I’m willing to pay for all your tuition fees… In case you get accepted, that is. If not… Well, you know.”  
Hiki was appalled by that deadline. One year wasn’t much time, but he was determined to reach his goal and agreed. In the following 12 months, Hiki worked extremely hard and wasn’t only able to raise his grades from D's and E's to straight A's, he also had gotten himself a second job to save up and move to Tokyo.  
Although it was extremely hard, he managed to make it, and proudly presented his report card to his father. He also mastered the next step and got accepted at Tokyo University, and even won a partial scholarship. Six years had passed since then. Hiki still couldn’t believe that he had achieved all his goals and had kept his straight A grades.   
"Heh…" Hiki smiled cockily as he thought about it. He hoped his father was at least a little proud of him. And now he was in this wholesome relationship with this wonderful man and was living in a luxury condo in the city of his dreams. How surreal, he thought.  
Though he had discovered by then that taking care of such a huge apartment was a bit of a challenge, especially now that he felt so sick. He was completely exhausted after he was done with his chores. His cough had gotten worse and made his throat hurt. He was hot and cold, and his body felt heavy. “Ugh… I’m so done…” he huffed weakly and slouched over to the sofa. He sat down and looked at the watch on his phone. “It’s already six... Howl will be back in an hour, so I better start cooking soon. I can study after dinner,” he said to himself with a hoarse voice. “Ouch… I should stop talking to myself when my throat is this sore…” He tried to get up, but again, he got dizzy and slumped back down. “Dammit, that’s so annoying...” he cursed and sighed. Alright, I’ll just rest for ten minutes. The preparations for the hot pot shouldn’t take that long, so it’s fine, he thought. He laid down right where he was and didn’t even have the strength to reach out and grab a blanket that was placed just an arm's length away. He didn’t care if he was cold, he just wanted to sleep, so that’s what he did.

Sometime later, on the other side of Tokyo, Howl and Kinsley were on their way back from their meeting. Kinsley was driving, so Howl could go over some paperwork on the backseat. He sighed loudly and rubbed his forehead agitated.  
“It's ten o'clock already, the meeting shouldn’t have taken this long. Some people are just a huge pain in the ass.”  
“It can’t be helped. They were difficult to deal with, but they’re important investors who will bring in a lot of revenue to our company. We had no other choice than to grin and bear it.”  
“I know, that’s part of running a business. It’s just that… I’m really worried about Hikkun. I sent him a message to let him know that I’ll be home late, but he didn’t answer.” He frowned. “He seemed okay earlier, but he’s pushing himself too much ever since he moved in.”  
“Hmm… He did look pale when he brought the bento, but-”  
“I knew it. I knew something felt off.” Howl interrupted him. He was so worried, he could barely stand it. He needed to get home and look after Hiki as soon as possible. 

When he arrived, he noticed that Hiki’s shoes were lying around sloppily and that he didn’t hang up his coat. He rushed inside, followed by Kinsley.  
“Hikkun,” he shouted as he walked into the living room. He almost didn’t notice him, but there he was. Lying on the sofa, showing no reaction to his calling.  
“HIKKUN!” He hurried over and knelt down next to him. Howl went to caress his cheek and jolted as he touched his skin. He was extremely hot, covered in cold sweat and he was breathing heavily with a distressed expression on his face. “Hey, wake up! Hikaru!” But he still didn't move. “Damn it, he’s burning up…”  
“I’ll call our family doctor, he will come over right away, he’s a good friend of mine,” Kinsley said and grabbed his phone. Howl carried Hiki over to the bedroom and tucked him in.  
“Kinsley, I don’t know what to do, he looks so helpless…” he said to his friend when he entered the bedroom after finishing his call.  
“The doctor will be here in 15 minutes, so don’t panic, he’ll be fine.” Kinsley tried to comfort his friend. He had known Howl for a long time and had never seen him so distressed.  
“Thank you, Kinsley. Sorry for troubling you,” Howl humbly replied.  
“It’s fine, I consider him a friend too, so I’m worried about him.”  
“Hm…” Howl stared at his suffering lover. His chest and throat felt tight.  
The doctor arrived quickly and Kinsley opened the door and led him to the bedroom. He introduced him as Doctor Nomura and the elderly man examined Hiki immediately. Even that didn’t wake him up. Howl was worried sick. When the Doctor was done, they moved over to the living room to give Hiki some silence.  
“Is he going to be okay, Doctor?” Howl immediately asked.  
“Seems like he has caught a really bad flu virus,” Nomura answered. “His temperature is at 40.4 degrees. That’s a concerningly high temperature, so I gave him an injection with something to lower it, and it will also reduce the pain a fever this high causes. For now, that will do, but I will leave you some Paracetamol in case it rises again. If it stays high even with the medication, or if it gets even higher, go to the emergency room.”  
Howl nodded.  
“I’ll write down a list with everything you’ll need. Also, please make sure that he stays hydrated, he will sweat a lot because of the fever. Isotonic sports drinks are good in this case. Do you know if he has had pneumonia in the past?”  
“He did,” Howl answered eagerly, glad that he knew about that.  
“Okay, then keep an eye on his cough. If it gets worse and his chest starts hurting, call me.”  
“I will. Thank you, Doctor.”  
“Listen, if the flu gets this bad, it’s likely that the patient is fatigued. If that’s the case, please make sure that he rests properly and takes it slow for the next couple of weeks. Alright, I’ll make the list now and leave a prescription for the antibiotics... Don’t worry, he will be okay.” Nomura assured and roughly patted Howl’s shoulder.

After the Doctor had left, Howl went back to the bedroom and sat down on the bed right next to Hiki. He looked pale, but he seemed slightly more relaxed now, probably because of the painkiller. He softly caressed his cheek.   
“I’ll get you everything you need from the pharmacy real quick and head home afterwards. I’ll be back in about an hour,” said Kinsley, who was standing at the door.  
“Thank you, my friend. I’ve never been sick in my life, not even once. Well, maybe as a kid, but I don’t remember it, so I have no clue what to do. And Hikkun… he deserves the best care...” Howl said thoughtfully.  
An hour later, just as Kinsley had promised, the doorbell rang. He handed an astonishing Howl four plastic bags filled with medicine, balms, herbal teas, sports drinks, three hot water bottles, cooling pads, a first aid kit, vitamin pills, and more.  
“I also stopped at a Seven-Eleven and bought some lemons and oranges, he’ll need Vitamin C. You can make fresh orange juice and you can squeeze the lemon juice into warm water with a little bit of sugar. Don't make it too hot though, or it will kill the vitamins. I’m heading home now, Nora is already waiting for me, let me know if you need anything.”  
“How do you know all that,” Howl wondered.  
“I have three kids after all. Sure, they’re grown now, but kids catch colds all the time, so I’m very well trained by my wife, so I helped her as much as I could,” he chuckled. “Oh, and don’t worry about work, stay at home and take care of him, I’ll manage everything at the office. There are no meetings in the next couple of days and most of the paperwork can wait.”  
“Thank you, Kinsley, I would be lost without you,” Howl replied. He was really grateful to have him as a friend.  
“I know,” Kinsley smirked and left. Howl brought the shopping bags to the kitchen and emptied them. He arranged the meds he needed for Hiki now on the kitchen counter, the rest he put away into a cabinet that he decided was now their official medicine cabinet. He smiled proudly as he organized everything neatly.   
Then he took a cooling pad from one of the packages and brought it to Hiki. He sat down on the bed next to him, opened it, and placed it on his forehead.  
“Nh…” Hiki twitched because of the cold but didn’t wake up.   
“Sorry, Hikkun,” he whispered. He brushed a sweaty strand of hair out of his face, kissed him on the head, and went to the bathroom to get changed from his suit to something more comfortable, and went to the living room. He took his phone and dialed a number.  
“Hey, why are you calling this late? Did something happen?”  
“Yeah, kind of. Your brother fell ill.”  
“Ah, crap. How is he?”  
“I found him unresponsive on the sofa earlier and called a doctor. He took care of him, but he still didn’t wake up. He has a very high fever…”  
“Sucks that this is happening in the first week after he moved in. He was so happy that everything went so well… Can’t be helped. What did the doctor say though?”  
“He said that he’ll be okay again soon, and he gave me instructions, but… I don’t want to mess up and cause him to feel worse…”  
“Don’t worry, there isn’t much you can mess up. I don’t know if he told you about this, but our mother hated it when he got sick. She locked him up in his room and no one was allowed to go in there because she didn’t want us to get sick too. Only the nannies looked after him from time to time, so… Just be there. That’s really all he needs. Well, that and medication, of course. Heh.”  
“Is there anything he prefers to eat and drink when he’s sick? Or does he have any habits I should know about?”  
“Actually, yeah. As you probably know already, despite his looks, he can eat for three. But when he’s stressed out or sick, he doesn’t feel like eating and tends to completely forget it. Tch, I should have told you all of this already, since he’s like that when he prepares for exams too. You’ll have to remind him to eat all the time. He loves sweet rice porridge, so make that and he will eat it.”  
To Howl, it somehow felt a bit like he was getting instructions to take care of a pet.  
“Don’t worry, Howl. He will be fine in a couple of days, he’s had it worse. And now he has you, I think that will help him a lot.”  
“Thank you, Hajime.”  
“Hey, don’t get all soft on me now, old man.”  
“Who are you calling an old man? I’m 25 years old!”  
“I should call you ojisan from now on.”  
“Noisy little brat…”  
“Goodnight, Howl. And keep us posted on how he’s doing, okay?”  
“Yeah, you too. Of course.”  
They hung up and Howl went back to the bedroom. He checked up on Hiki, and since his condition wasn't worse, Howl decided to rest a bit. He had been up for 20 hours and needed some sleep. He pulled an armchair that was in front of the fireplace over to the bed and took a blanket from the sofa in the living room. He sat down and shifted the cozy armchair into a sleeping position, which made a footrest pop out. Like that, he wouldn’t disturb Hiki, but could also keep an eye on him. Howl made himself comfortable and quickly fell asleep. He woke up from time to time because Hiki was coughing, but other than that, the night was pretty quiet. His temperature stayed the same, so Howl kept changing the cooling pad every time he woke up. Around noon, Hiki had a really bad coughing fit and Howl, who was in the kitchen because he had just finished lunch, came running immediately.   
Hiki was sitting up, but he was a little bent over and had placed one hand on his chest as he was coughing like crazy.   
“Hikkun? Are you okay? ” he asked worried. “Here, drink!” Howl handed him a glass of water that he had ready on the nightstand. Hiki took a few sips between his coughs and slowly calmed down.  
“Ugh, my throat hurts...” he huffed with a raspy voice.  
“Better?”  
Hiki nodded. “What happened? Why am I in bed?”  
“You had a very high fever, Hikkun. I called a doctor last night when I found you on the sofa. He said you caught the flu. How do you feel now? Does your chest hurt when you’re coughing?”  
“No, it doesn’t. My throat was just irritated because it was so dry, that it made it worse. But it’s not pneumonia, don’t worry.”  
“The Doc said we’ll have to keep an eye on your coughing though.”  
“Yeah, that’s what they always say, I’m prone to it.”  
“Jeez, you look so worn out, Hikkun.” Howl sat down and caressed his face. As always, when he touched him, Hiki’s heart started racing. “You’re so pale and sweaty. Let me take your temperature real quick.” He took the thermometer from the nightstand. “Turn around please.”  
“T-Turn… For what?” Hiki asked dazed.  
“So that I can take your temperature, of course. I've read online that it’s most accurate if you take it from the rectum. I couldn’t do that before, because I didn’t want to wake you, so I took it from your armpit, but now that you’re awake…”  
Hiki stared at him in disbelief. He wasn’t able to yell at Howl, so he spoke as insistently as he could. “Howl... there is no way I’m going to let you do something like that, okay… Absolutely not. This is the biggest no in the history of noes.”  
“What’s the problem? I’ve put other things in there before… Like my fingers, and-”  
Hiki immediately placed his hand on his lover’s mouth to stop him from continuing his sentence. “Pervert!” Hiki laughed but started coughing right away.  
“Dammit, drink some water, quick. I’m so sorry, I was just joking to lighten up the mood. Look...” Howl reached out and grabbed something from the nightstand. “I can take your temperature from your ear with this. Kinsley bought it.” Howl explained.  
“Kinsley?”  
“Yeah, he was with me when I found you. We were driving home from a meeting and I was worried because you still hadn’t replied to my texts. When he dropped me off, he asked if it was okay to come upstairs with me because he was worried too. He helped a great deal. He called the doctor and went to the pharmacy, even though it was really late. I owe him.”  
“That’s really kind of him. I would like to return the favor…”  
“He has grown very fond of you. Hmm… You could make some of your cookies for him…”  
“You only say that because you want to eat them,” Hiki chuckled weakly. “I’ll do that when I feel better. Uwah, I’m so tired… I would like to lie down again.” He took another sip and gave the glass back to Howl, who put it away on the nightstand.  
“Oh, sure. You should rest as much as you can. The doc also said you’ll have to step back a little for the next couple of weeks.”  
“Thank you for taking care of me, I know it’s a pain...” Hiki mumbled drowsily as Howl tucked him in again.  
“It could never in a billion years be a pain for me to take care of you, Hikkun. Don’t be silly.”  
“Oh no, I just remembered that I didn't prepare dinner last night… I'm sorry!” He coughed again.  
“Tch, who cares?... I got really scared when I found you lying there lifelessly, Hikkun. You should’ve said something earlier,” Howl scolded him gently.  
“I will next time, promise. I’ll be better from now on, ” he whispered. His eyes already closed. Howl’s heart skipped a beat. He’s just too damn cute, he thought. He quickly took his temperature before he fell asleep completely.   
“Your temperature is at 38.9 degrees. Still too high, but at least it’s lower than last night.” Howl put the thermometer away and renewed the cooling pad. When he wanted to get up to throw away the used one, Hiki grabbed his sleeve and stopped him.  
“Howl, can you stay for a bit? Until I fall asleep… please?” He looked at him with big, glossy puppy eyes.  
“Sure, Hikkun. I won’t leave your side.” He sat back down and took his lover’s hand. His skin was hot. Hiki led their hands to his face and placed a soft kiss on Howl’s.  
“Thank you…” he huffed, smiled at him, and drifted off to sleep.  
Howl stayed for a while, but then his phone buzzed. It was a call from Kinsley, so he picked it up.  
“How’s he doing?” His friend and assistant asked without wasting any time on greetings.  
Howl smiled. “Don’t worry, he’s doing okay. He was awake for a bit just now, but went back to sleep.” Howl left the bedroom so he wouldn't disturb Hiki and went to the kitchen to prepare a meal for him so he could take his medicine the next time he woke up. “Crap…” He suddenly realized something. “Kinsley… How do you make sweet rice porridge?”  
“This time I can’t help you. I can’t cook at all.”  
“I’ll look up recipes online then. Is everything alright at the office?”  
The two men talked about some work-related things and after they hung up, Howl searched for a recipe. He found one quickly and started cooking. “Good thing we bought the whole supermarket,” he said to himself, happy that they had everything he needed at home. “Good job, Hikkun.” He smiled.  
He completely messed up the first batch, so he started over and this time everything turned out great. Even though he wasn’t a fan of that dish, he thought it tasted decent.   
Suddenly he heard a rumbling sound coming from the bedroom, which pulled him out of his thoughts.  
“Hikkun?!” He followed the noise. “...What are you doing?!” Hiki was sitting on the floor next to the bed.  
“I need to use the bathroom, but I got dizzy and tripped over the blanket. How embarrassing, I feel so stupid,” he grumbled while looking down ashamed.  
“Tsk. You should’ve just called me… although, with your throat hurting...” Howl walked over to him, knelt down, and offered his hand to Hiki.  
“I only wanted to pee and the bathroom is right there…”  
“Can you get up?”  
“Yeah.” Hiki took Howl’s hand, got up with his support, and sat down on the corner of the bed. “I hate feeling this weak.” He looked so defeated, Howl’s heart throbbed. He wanted to see him smile. He leaned over Hiki, shoved one arm under his legs, and held his back with the other.  
“Alright, up you go!” Howl announced, lifted Hiki up, and carried him to the bathroom princess style. Hiki reflexively clung onto Howl. He tried to protest, but instead, he started coughing.  
“Shhh, don’t struggle. Think about your health,” he grinned. “I’m your personal taxi for now.” He let him down at the bathroom door. “Can you make it from here? There’s no sneaky blanket in the way anymore.”  
Hiki giggled softly. Better, Howl thought and smiled. It was hardly noticeable on his feverish face, but Hiki blushed and nodded. Howl kissed him on the forehead.  
When he was done in the bathroom, Howl picked him up again. Even though Hiki felt embarrassed, he lowkey enjoyed it. Howl carried him back to bed and tucked him back in. “Alright Hikkun, I’ll go and grab some new cooling pads and I’ll bring you something to eat.”  
“I’m not hungry. But have you eaten? I didn’t make dinner, nor breakfast...” Hiki replied, worried.  
“I ate, don’t worry,” Howl replied. You will have to eat because you need to take your meds. And I’ll bring you a sports drink, you need to stay hydrated.”  
He went to the kitchen and came back a few minutes later, carrying a big serving tray with foldable legs which they had bought in case they wanted to have breakfast in bed and such. “Alright, here’s your cough medicine, antibiotics, paracetamol, a cup of chamomile tea, a sports drink, and a new box of cooling pads.” He placed the tray above Hiki’s lap and handed him his meds.  
“Oh, the cough syrup tastes so sweet! I didn’t expect it to taste this good.” Hiki noted, relieved. “The ones I got as a kid always tasted bitter and gross.”  
“Make sure to drink your tea once it cools down a bit. I used honey instead of sugar, I read online that it’s good for your throat.”  
Hiki smiled. “You’re such a good caregiver.”  
Howl cleared his throat, trying not to blush over his cute lover’s compliment. “How do you feel, Hikkun? You still look a bit pale…”  
“I just feel a bit dizzy and sleepy… and I’m cold.”  
“Lie back down after you’re done eating and sleep a little more.”  
Hiki nodded and picked up the wooden spoon Howl had placed next to the bowl. “Is this…?”  
“Sweet rice porridge, yup.”  
“Y-You made it yourself?”  
“I did. And I managed not to burn down the kitchen. Are you proud of me?”  
“So proud,” Hiki giggled and took a spoonful. “Uwah, it’s good! It’s the best I’ve ever had!”  
“Now you’re exaggerating.”  
“Mh-mh! It’s super tasty.” He took another bite.  
“Well, I guess it’s because of my secret ingredient then.”  
“Hm?”  
“Love of course,” Howl grinned goofily and HIki chuckled.  
“So cheesy again.”  
“You get the cheese as a free side dish.”  
Hiki giggled again and coughed.  
“Now eat up, take the rest of your meds, and lay back down. I don’t want you to overstrain yourself. Hiki nodded and did as his nurse had told him.  
After he was done and Howl had taken away the tray, he snuggled up in his blanket. Howl prepared a cooling pad and patched it on his forehead. He felt exhausted even though he hadn’t done much.  
“Ugh… I’m freezing,” he shivered.  
His fever had probably gone up again and Howl could tell that Hiki’s muscles were all tensed up and he was shaking a little bit. He was thinking of getting the hot water bottles, but then he changed his mind.  
He took off the sweater he was wearing over his shirt, as well as his jeans. Then he walked over to his side of the bed, slipped underneath the big blanket, and scooted over to Hiki. He moved as close to him as possible and wrapped his arm around him.  
“Eh, Howl? What are you… don’t come this close, you’re going to catch my flu!” Hiki protested.  
“You know… another thing I’ve learned online was…” He spoke with a soft and low voice, directly into Hiki’s ear, which made him stop struggling immediately. “...that when a baby has a high fever, it helps if the mother and the baby cuddle skin on skin. That’s supposed to lower the baby's temperature down to the mother’s. You’re not a baby, I’m certainly not your mother and unfortunately, we’re not naked, but maybe this will help your body calm down a bit. It’s worth a try, don’t you think?”  
Hiki gave in and nodded hesitantly.  
“Just focus on my warmth and on my heartbeat. Try to relax.” Howl whispered.  
Hiki closed his eyes and took a deep breath. After a few minutes, he finally started warming up. Howl could feel how Hiki’s muscles got softer and his breathing got more rhythmic. After a while, the tension had left his body completely and he had fallen asleep. Since Howl hadn’t gotten much rest lately, he couldn’t withstand and drifted off to sleep as well.

On the third day, Hiki felt a little better. The fever was still quite high and he felt groggy, but his cough had gotten better and he felt a little more energetic. Howl stayed by his side the whole time after Kinsley had assured him that it was okay to stay home one more day. Howl relied on his friend once again and continued taking care of his lover.  
“Good morning, Hikkun. How are you feeling today? ” he asked and caressed his cheek as he sat down next to him. “You don’t feel that hot anymore.”  
“A bit better, thanks to you,” he smiled. “What time is it?”  
“It’s almost 11.”  
“Ugh. Lazing around in bed all day, sleeping for that long… I hate it. And I need to take care of the household... And Uni starts soon, I need to prepare for it and study...”  
“You can do that once you feel better, your books aren’t going anywhere. Your fever is still high, give it a couple more days. And I did the laundry the other day.”  
“B-But… Those are my duties. I want to be of use to you! I can’t just live off your wallet!”  
“Live off my... Hikkun, what on earth are you talking about?” Howl stared at him incredulously.  
“I know we agreed that I will take care of the household and cooking as compensation for not paying rent or anything since you own this apartment and I still don’t have a job. But you paid for all the groceries and such, so if I don’t attend to my duties, I can’t earn my place here! What if you get tired of me being a leech and tell me to scram?” Hiki froze. He couldn’t believe that he had said that.  
“Hikkun, listen to me closely. But even if you don’t, I’m gonna repeat myself a billion times if I have to. I love you more than anything. You don’t have to earn your place. Your place is in my heart and only I myself decide who gets a place there. Got it? You’re my life partner, you don’t work for me. And this is your home too! Also… even if you wanted to laze around in bed all day, that’s completely fine! It’s something people do from time to time. Don’t overthink things so much. Right now I’m taking care of you, but there will be times when you’ll have to take care of me. That’s how a relationship works. Give and take.”  
Hiki knew that Howl loved him and wouldn’t kick him out just like that. He knew that his fear was irrational.  
“Did you get what I just said?” Howl asked and looked him deep into his eyes. Hiki nodded softly.   
“Sorry for being so over-dramatic,” he mumbled, ashamed.  
“No need to apologize, Hikkun.” He kissed him on the forehead. “You should sleep a little, you’re probably tired. Your temperature is still over 38 degrees.”  
Hiki nodded again and laid down. He actually felt very sleepy. Again, Howl stayed and held his hand. Hiki felt safe and secure and fell asleep with a smile on his face.

On the next day, he felt much better. Howl had made rice pudding with cinnamon and apples for breakfast, and Hiki finally felt hungry again, so he dug in.  
“Mmmhhh… Ipf fo goog,” he munched with a satisfied look on his face.  
“I’m happy to hear that. Good to see that your appetite is back. How do you feel?”  
“I feel better. My throat is still a little sore and my body feels heavy, but I feel much better overall.” He smiled. “You should go back to work, I kept you here long enough. I also feel so sorry for Kinsley, he has to work so hard.”  
“I will go back to the office once your fever is gone. Or… I mean… am I being a nuisance? Do you need space? I know I can be doting...”  
“No!! I'm happy and really grateful to have you by my side the whole time. I feel so spoiled. I’m happy… That’s probably a weird thing to say in my position, hehe.”  
“It’s not weird. I’m glad you’re happy.”  
No wonder you feel spoiled by such a normal thing considering how your own mother treated you before, Howl thought, leaned over, and kissed him softly on the lips.  
“I will always be there for you, Hikkun,” he assured him and ruffled through his long hair. “Wow, you ate the whole bowl? Well done,” he praised Hiki.  
“It was delicious! You’re really good at cooking, I had no idea. You always made it sound like you’re bad at it.”  
“I can cook, but I hate it. I like doing it for you, though.” Howl smiled fondly. “Alright, time for your meds.” While Hiki took them, Howl went to the bathroom and grabbed a big bowl. He filled it up with warm water, spilled somebody soap in it, took a cloth, and walked back to Hiki.  
“What are you doing, Howl?”  
“I’m gonna wash you,” he answered bluntly.  
“Y-You’re going to do what?” Hiki asked startled.  
“Wash you. You’ll feel refreshed and much better once I scrub you squeaky clean,” he grinned.  
Hiki blushed instantly, and now that his fever had gone down and his face wasn’t as red anymore, it was clearly noticeable again, very much to Howl’s delight.  
“S-Squeaky… clean,” he repeated.  
Howl chuckled. “I’m just teasing you. But I’ll wipe you down with the cloth a little. You’ll feel better afterwards, trust me. Taking a bath or a shower would be too tiring for you, I don’t want your fever to rise again.”  
“I-I cleaned myself when I went to the bathroom, though…”  
“Oh, okay. If that’s the case…” Howl turned around and wanted to take away the bowl, but Hiki called him back.  
“Wait… I mean… I was sweating a lot since then, so… would you mind? I probably wasn’t very thorough either, I got tired quickly and went back to bed.” He knew that Howl only meant well and that it meant a lot to him to be a good caregiver, so he let him have his way. He hesitantly undressed his upper body, still very self-aware because of his scars, threw his sweaty shirt on the floor, and pushed down the blanket to his knees so it wouldn’t get wet. He looked a little uncomfortable and tense as if he would like to hide. Howl noticed that. He sat down next to him and wrung out the cloth. Then he started wiping Hiki’s right arm. He moved up to his shoulder, refreshed the cloth, and continued on his neck. It felt almost like a massage to Hiki and he became more and more relaxed. Howl then asked him to turn around a little so he could wipe down his back.  
“O-Okay.” Hiki did so and immediately tensed up again. When they had sex, he was so overwhelmed by the situation that he didn’t think much about it, but now he was extremely self-conscious and shy. Even though Howl had boosted his self-confidence a lot at the picnic with his touching words, old habits die hard.  
“You know, Hikkun…” Howl started as he gently wiped Hiki’s back, “I once read a story about a clan in ancient times whose warriors fought in many battles to keep their families safe from their enemies. And the ones with the most and biggest scars were the ones that were admired the most by everyone.”  
“Really?”  
“Mhm. Because they fought the most dangerous battles and came out alive. They wore their scars with pride because that meant they were successful in protecting their loved ones... and themselves.”  
“I see…”  
Howl placed a soft kiss on his shoulder. “You can turn back around,” he said with a low voice. He refreshed the cloth again and continued on Hiki's chest. Howl swallowed heavily as he let the foamy cloth slide up and down Hiki’s pale and soft skin, grazing against his erect nipples repeatedly. He could see goosebumps building up. Howl leaned over and kissed Hiki tenderly. “We’re done,” he whispered and smiled. Hiki looked so sexy, Howl had a hard time holding back. Pushing him down now would worsen his condition, but he promised himself that he’d seduce him as soon as he was back to health.   
Howl rubbed him dry with a towel and Hiki laid down again. He stayed in bed since he was still recovering and Howl was in the living room, working on his laptop. Howl went and checked up on him regularly, but Hiki didn’t want Howl to interrupt his work all the time, so at one point he got up, grabbed his pillow and the blanket from the armchair, and waddled over to the living room.  
“Hikkun? What is it? Is something wrong?” Howl asked worried as his lover showed up in front of him. He then noticed the pillow and the blanket. Hiki looked like a little boy who had a nightmare and asked his parents if he could sleep in their bed. Howl’s heart skipped a beat at that cuteness.  
“No, um… I was just thinking that it’s troublesome to come to the bedroom to look after me all the time, so I thought it’d make more sense for me to just move to the sofa…”  
“It’s probably a little bit lonely over there too, huh. But you’ll need a proper blanket, the one you brought isn’t warm enough.” Howl got up and went to the bedroom to get their sleeping blanket from the bed, took Hiki’s fluffy pillow, and placed it in a corner of the U-shaped sofa. Then he took a normal blanket and spread it out. “If you lay on this, it’s more comfortable than lying directly on the sofa.” Hiki nodded smiling and laid down. Howl covered him with their big blanket, moved his laptop and his papers over, and sat down next to Hiki. “Is this okay, do you feel comfortable?”  
Hiki nodded. “Yup. Thank you, Howl.”  
When Howl was done with his work, he and Hiki cuddled for the rest of the day and watched TV. Hiki couldn’t have felt more wholesome. 

When Howl woke up the next morning, the bed was empty.  
“Hikkun…?”  
He got up to look for him. Maybe he went to the bathroom and fell… or fainted… He jumped up and checked, but Hiki wasn't there. Suddenly Howl heard clattering sounds, so he followed them and ended up in the kitchen, where a pretty lively Hiki was preparing breakfast.  
“Hikkun? What the…”  
“Ah, Howl! Good morning!” Hiki walked up to him, gently grabbed him by the back of his head, pulled him down, and kissed his astonished lover on the lips. “Did you sleep well? Good timing, take your seat, breakfast is ready,” he smiled.  
“Are you nuts? You're sick, you should be in bed!”  
“It's fine, my temperature is almost back to normal and I don’t feel like the walking dead anymore, hehe. You’ve helped me so much, so I wanted to surprise you with a nice breakfast. We have sausages, scrambled eggs, toast… don’t worry, I'll rest a bit later. As soon as you leave for work, I'll go back to bed, promise,” Hiki added when he saw Howl’s worried expression.  
“Jeez...you're really one of a kind…” Howl chuckled and sat down at the table in front of the serving hatch. Hiki seemed to be back to his usual vivid self, which made Howl very happy.  
When they were done, Howl turned to Hiki and said: “Hikkun, I want to talk to you about something. I still have time before I have to head down to the office, so I want to do it now.” Howl started after they were done eating. Hiki became super nervous because he sounded so serious.  
“Wh-What is it…,” he asked hesitantly.  
“It's a moving in gift… give me a second.” Howl got up and walked over to the coffee table, grabbed a bundle of papers, and handed them over to his lover.  
“What is this,” Hiki asked and stared at him confused.  
“Just read.” Howl smiled.  
Hiki swallowed and started reading aloud: “Sugiyama Aiko… wait, isn’t that your lawyer?”  
“That’s correct. You’ve met her once when you were visiting me at the office. Keep reading.”  
“I am pleased to inform you that your quitclaim deed has been successfully processed. You and Ueda Hikaru-san are now joint owners and his name has been added to the title of your property. As soon as Ueda-san signs the contract, it will be legally binding…” Hiki stopped reading and looked at Howl dumbfounded. “Howl, what’s the meaning of this?”  
“You now own half of this condo. It’s our home, not mine alone. I wanted to make it official,” he explained. He then placed a pen on the table in front of Hiki and smiled. "Surprise, Hikkun."  
Hiki was completely overwhelmed. “A-Are you serious? Th-This is… I mean… You don’t have to do this...“ Hiki stuttered. Then he took a deep breath and said: "I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings by what I said about you kicking me out because it probably sounded like I don’t trust you, which is definitely not the case. It’s just that… since I’ve met you my life has changed so much… for the better, of course. But I can barely comprehend all the wonderful things that happened since then. I went from being a no one who felt like he had no place in this world to being loved by someone like you… I was so lucky to meet you, and I just love you so, so much... ”  
“I didn’t do this because you said that. The papers wouldn’t have been ready so quickly if that were the case, things like this take a little time. I contacted my lawyer the day you agreed to move in with me. And, it’s okay to be scared and insecure. I know that all of this is new to you and everything happened so fast. It really would mean a lot to me if you’d sign the papers and legally become a co-owner of our home. Because what’s mine is yours. Including my heart.” Howl took his face with both hands and kissed him tenderly. Tears were rolling down Hiki’s cheeks. “Dammit, I don’t want to cry,” he sniffled.  
Howl wiped away his tears. “Would you sign the papers? It would mean so much to me.”  
Hiki sighed. “Okay, I’ll sign them.” He was so excited, his face was glowing red. He picked up the pen and signed with a shaky hand.  
“Congrats, Hikkun. You’re now the owner of a condo,” Howl grinned and kissed him.  
“I can’t believe this is happening…”  
“We clarified this already, it’s real. How about we go out at the weekend to celebrate? If your fever is gone, of course.”  
“I would love to!” He sparkled. “...Oh no, Howl, you’re gonna be late! Get dressed, I'll get your bento!” Hiki suddenly shouted, jumped, and rushed to the kitchen. “What are you waiting for, hurry,” he ordered Howl, who chuckled, delighted by his lover’s returned briskness, and walked over to the door. He put on his shoes, took his coat and his briefcase, and opened the door.  
“Wah, wait for me!” Hiki came running, slipped, and almost crashed into Howl, but he was able to regain his balance.  
“Whoa, easy there Hikkun. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t leave without a kiss,” he smiled.  
“Sorry, but it’s your first day back at work, I don’t want you to be late.” He blushed. They kissed goodbye and Hiki handed him two neatly wrapped bento boxes.  
“Here, one’s for you, the other one is for Kinsley. But I'll come down to the office later and invite him and his wife over for dinner if that’s okay. That’s the very least I can do.”  
Howl smiled lovingly, placed his hand on Hiki's chin, gently raised it up, and kissed him softly on the lips.  
“You have such a good heart. I love you Hikkun, make sure to rest a lot. I'll miss you,” he said with a gentle voice.  
“I-I'll miss you too, Howl.” Hiki blushed.  
“Oh, and don’t forget that you wanted to make cookies!”  
“Wah, I knew it, you’re the one who wanted to eat them, tch,” he frowned, half smiling. “I’ll make you some, don’t worry.” He smiled. Howl grinned back and loped into the elevator.  
And both started counting the minutes until they saw each other again.


	6. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! ;)

NSFW! ;)  
  
  
  
  
It was the first week of December of their first year together.  
Hiki had finally started his first semester at Tokyo University and it had gone pretty well so far. Most of his classes were very interesting and he liked his professors. He had also managed to find a job. Hiki had been to a cosplay cafe a couple of times because it was conveniently close to his campus and he could spend the time in between lessons there. One day the owner walked up to him and asked him if he was looking for a job and if he wanted to start working there. “You’re really cute, our female customers would adore you,” was what he had said. At first, Hiki thought that guy was just a weirdo, but then one of the waitresses joined the conversation and assured him that the man was being serious. Hiki liked it there because it had a very cozy but stylish interior, a nice atmosphere, and the staff always joked around with each other. After talking some more, the manager assured him that they would make his working hours fit his class schedule. Hiki gladly agreed. The wage was far above average, too, and after looking for a job for so long, he considered himself extremely lucky. When he told Howl about it, he was very supportive and happy for Hiki, but he also stated that he was worried that Hiki would overwork himself after seeing how hard he was working for Uni already. But Hiki stuck by his decision, started working there and Howl assured him his support. When Hiki worked the late shift, Howl came to the cafe to pick him up and they went out to have dinner together.   
Seven months had passed since the day they had met and they enjoyed every second of their life together. During the weeks they were very busy, but they made sure to always end the day together. Whether with cuddling on the sofa while watching movies or TV shows, spooning in bed talking about their days until they fell asleep, or… with more than just cuddling and spooning… And they spent most of their weekends in bed as well. He had become used to the exposure and the sex itself quickly, and he wasn’t as shy anymore as he was in the beginning. He had become more confident with his own body now thanks to Howl. And the sex itself was just amazing… Hiki blushed thinking about it.   
“Hikkun, your face is red. Did you catch a cold again?” Howl’s question pulled him out of his thoughts.  
“N-No, I’m fine!” He cleared his throat. They had just finished dinner and Hiki was cleaning the dishes while Howl cleared the table.  
“Hey, why do you never use the dishwasher? I bought it to make things easier for you...” Howl said.  
“It’s faster to do it like this… And it’s kinda relaxing,” Hiki smiled.  
“Hm. You might be faster than the dishwasher, but…” Howl positioned himself behind Hiki, his hands slid around his lover’s slender waist and grabbed him tightly. His chin was resting on Hiki’s shoulder. “...this is wasted time that we can’t spend together,” he said with a quiet voice.  
“But we are together right now…”  
“No, I mean… together, Hikkun.” He pulled Hiki’s hips closer and started kissing his nape.  
“Ngh… Howl…”  
Howl’s hand moved downwards into his pants. Hiki jolted as he started groping his crotch while sucking and nibbling on his neck.  
“Stop it, you’ll leave marks… Howl, I can’t today, I’m really tired… and I’m working a double shift tomorrow...”  
Howl released Hiki from his grip, walked over to the table, and sat down pouting. “Tsk. I know that you’re tired! You’re working too much. All those double shifts lately... you should just quit. You don’t need it, you have me.”  
“You’re not my sugar daddy,” Hiki giggled. “I told you that it’s only temporary. I really like my job and I want to make my own money. I don’t want you to pay for everything just because you technically can. It’s my life and I have my own responsibilities. I’m an adult too, after all,” Hiki explained while scrubbing a plate. He was very serious about making his own money, but he didn’t tell Howl that the real reason why he worked more was that he wanted to save up for his Christmas present.   
Howl eyed Hiki up. He was standing there with such a serious expression while wearing a pastel blue apron with polka dots, oversized pink rubber gloves covered in bubbles from the dish liquid, and holding a blue, cloud-shaped sponge. He was just too cute. Howl smirked, walked over to him, kissed him on the forehead, and gently brushed a strand of hair behind his lover’s ear.  
“I’m sorry, Hikkun. Please don’t be mad at me. I just hate to see you tired all the time. Hey, how about you work for me?”  
“I’m not mad at you, and you’re the one to talk... Wait, what? Work for you? In what position?” Hiki asked astonished.  
“Go to the bedroom, undress and we’ll find out which position suits you the best,” Howl winked and grinned teasingly.  
“Pervert!” Hiki chuckled. “You don’t have to pay me for that sort of thing,” he blushed.  
“I know tips aren’t a thing here in Japan, but they’re common in the UK, so why don’t you let me take care of your tip now…? And I’m not talking about money here,” Howl smirked.  
Hiki laughed. “You’re so silly! But dammit… now I’m in the mood too... You better treat me to my favorite ramen for dinner tomorrow!” Hiki acted as if he was scolding him. He took off the gloves, grabbed Howl’s hand, dragged him along and they vanished into their bedroom.

Unfortunately, Howl had to work longer on the next day, so Hiki stopped at a Seven-Eleven on his way home to get himself some instant Ramen. He ate those while watching some anime before he took his books and studied a little. He was very tired after his double-shift, but he didn’t want to go to bed without Howl.   
“I’m home,” a worn-out looking Howl announced as he suddenly entered the apartment, with his shoulders slumped down.  
“Ah, there you are! Welcome home, Howl, how was your day?” Hiki walked up to him and kissed him. He took his coat and his briefcase and put them away.  
“That client was quite a handful, but he’s a big fish, so I had to stay for longer than I had planned,” Howl explained while loosening his tie on his way to the living room, followed by Hiki. “Sorry that I wasn’t there to pick you up and have dinner with you. Did you eat?”  
“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s fine... You look like you could use a big cup of my special hot chocolate with cinnamon, whipped cream, and rainbow sprinkles, how about that? It always makes you feel better,” Hiki smiled, trying to comfort his exhausted lover, who slumped down on the sofa and Hiki sat down next to him.  
“No, thank you. I don’t need anything. All I want to do is sleep. I have a really bad headache and I feel miserable, sorry. I’ll head to bed in a minute.”  
“Did… Did it at least go well?”   
“No, it didn’t go well at all. He’s trying to play games and he thinks that, since I’m young and look like a foreigner, I’m stupid enough to fall for it. And there seems to be another company involved, apparently, he’s negotiating with both of us. But he’s a big fish who would push Castle Tech forward, so we have to win him over. I need him to sign those damn contracts, but he’s stalling for weeks now. Tch, such a pain in the ass…” Howl irritatedly massaged his forehead with his fingertips.  
“I’m sorry to hear that, Howl. But you’re great at what you’re doing, and Castle Tech has an excellent reputation, right? I’m sure you’ll get him to sign.” Hiki tried to encourage him, but Howl didn’t answer. He just silently sat there with his eyes closed and an irritated expression on his face, rubbing his forehead. Hiki was worried. He had never seen him like that before and Howl had to deal with quite some annoying clients sometimes.  
“I’ll get you some aspirin real quick, it’ll help.” Hiki was about to get up and head to the kitchen, but Howl stopped him by grabbing his wrist and pulling him back.  
“Wah!” Hiki landed on Howl’s lap and he hugged him tightly.  
“I said it’s fine. Hikkun, can we spend the weekend in bed?”  
“Eh? But I thought we wanted to go and buy some Christmas decorations on Saturday…”  
“Right, you were looking forward to that… Okay, let’s go, but on Sunday we’ll stay in bed all day, okay?”  
Hiki had actually planned to do the housework since he rarely had time during the week, but he couldn’t say no to that pleading face his lover was making, so he gave in. “Okay,” he smiled. “But let’s head to bed now, it’s getting late.”  
They got up, Howl took his lover’s slender hand, their fingers entwined, and they walked over to their bedroom, got changed, crawled into their bed, and snuggled up against each other.  
“I will be all over you on Sunday, you better prepare yourself,” Howl whispered and grinned.   
“Pervert!” Hiki gasped. “Let me go, I’m moving out,” he struggled jokingly.  
“Never! I’ll never let you go.” He held him tight and kissed him on the head. “You’re mine, Hikkun.”  
“Hmm… I think I’m fine with that…” Hiki grinned and they both nodded off. 

Two weeks passed and Hiki was extremely excited because it was only one week until Christmas. Not only was it their first Christmas together, but Howl had also announced that his sister Sophie was going to visit them.  
“Normally we spend the holidays together, but she said she can’t take time off from work this year so she’ll only stay from the 26th to the 28th,” was what he had said. But Howl assumed that she was making it up because she wanted to give them some space to spend their first Christmas together. Sophie sounded like a really great person. Hiki couldn't wait to finally meet her, but at the same time, he was very nervous. Howl had told her everything and he had said that Sophie was happy for them. They had her blessing, but she was Howl’s most important person, so what would happen if she didn’t like Hiki after all? Hiki's upcoming anxiety attack was interrupted by his ringing phone.  
“Y-Yes?”  
“Hikkun, where are you right now? I'm done with my appointment, let's have lunch together.” Hiki was happy to hear Howl's voice and all the negativity suddenly fell off of him.  
“Uhm… errr…” he panicked, Howl’s invitation was unexpected.  
“Hikkun? Is everything okay?”  
”Yeah, sorry! I-I'm at the mall, I have to return something I bought the other day. I'll be done in about, ummm… half an hour,” he lied. The truth was that he had just bought Howl's Christmas present. Hiki was in a pinch now because it was too big to hide it from him, so he quickly decided to store it in one of the lockers at the mall. Problem solved, he thought.  
“Alright, let's meet at that burger place at the food court in half an hour then,” Howl proposed.  
“Okay.” Hiki smiled and they hung up. He was very happy because he didn't expect to see his lover until the evening, even though it was a Saturday. It sucked when Howl had to work on weekends since it was the only time when they could spend all day together. But it couldn't be helped, Hiki understood that. And Howl usually made up for it in… certain ways. Hiki blushed, shook his head, and rushed over to the lockers to store Howl’s present and headed down to the food court. He waited in front of the burger restaurant, and it didn't take long until Howl arrived.  
“Hikkun! Sorry for making you wait, there was traffic,” he huffed.  
Hiki’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Howl rushing over to him and he smiled. “It's okay, I just arrived a few minutes ago. How was your meeting?”  
“Everything went well. Remember that client I was working so hard on? The one that negotiated with another company as well? We finally landed the deal today, it’s finally over,” Howl smiled proudly.  
“That's great! Let's celebr-” Hiki got interrupted by loud screaming. A little girl in a princess costume was standing in the middle of the cramped food court, crying desperately. Several people had gathered around her and were trying to soothe the poor girl, but every time someone approached her, she started crying even more.  
“Oh no, she probably lost her mom,” Hiki said and walked over to her.  
“Hikkun, wait, what are you doing?” Howl asked as he followed him.  
“I want to help,” was his brief answer.  
Howl smiled. “Of course you do.”  
When Hiki had reached the little girl, who was about the same age as his niece, he knelt down next to her. “Hey there, I'm Hiki,” he said with a calm but cheerful voice. “Your dress is super pretty, you look like a princess! Are you a real princess?” He smiled at her.  
The little girl got distracted and stopped screaming. She needed a moment to calm down a little before she was able to answer. “Y-Yesh, I'm a weal pwincess,” she sobbed.  
“I knew it! It's an honor to meet you, princess… uhm… what's your name, Your Highness?”  
“M-M-Megumi…”  
“What a beautiful name. It’s an honor to meet you, princess Megumi.” Hiki bowed his head. “But why are you crying? Did you lose your mother, the Queen?”  
Megumi nodded, her eyes still filled with tears, but she had stopped sobbing.  
“Hmmm… I know someone who can help us find her. See that man over there, with the golden hair?” Hiki brought his mouth to her ear and whispered: “That’s the great knight Howl. He will protect you and help us find the Queen. So let's ask him to help us, okay?”  
Megumi lit up and her eyes widened. “O-Okay!” She nodded enthusiastically.  
“Okay, up you go.” Hiki carried her and walked over to Howl.  
“Great knight Howl, would you be so kind as to help us find the queen,” Hiki asked formally and winked at the dumbfounded Howl.  
“P-Pwease!” Megumi stuttered excitedly and looked at him with big eyes.  
“How could I say no to a beautiful princess like you, milady. Of course, I will help you.” Howl bowed. Megumi sparkled and they walked over to an Info point, to call out for her mom, who came running a few minutes later. Apparently, Megumi had snuck away after her mom told her that she couldn’t have ice cream because of her stomach ache in the morning. So Megumi stubbornly decided to get the ice cream on her own, managed to get two levels down to the food court, but got scared when she realized what she had done and started wailing.  
“Thank you so much for your help,” her mother, close to tears, said to Howl. “I was so scared that someone might have kidnapped her. Thank you!”  
“Your daughter was lucky that this guy was around. He’s the hero here.” Howl smiled and pointed at his lover. Hiki blushed flustered and quickly knelt down to Megumi.  
“It was a pleasure to meet you, princess Megumi.” Hiki bowed deeply.  
“T-Tank you for saving me, Hiki-chan and the gweat knight Howl.” Megumi sparkled and left with her mother.  
“Now that was quite an adventure,” Hiki giggled.  
Howl leaned over and kissed him, he was really proud of Hiki and how he solved the situation.  
“Howl! We’re in public, what do you think you’re doing?!” Hiki whispered frantically.  
“No one saw, don’t worry. Let's go have lunch now.”  
“Jeez. Alright, let's go, I'm starving.” He smiled and they headed back to the restaurant.  
“Hikkun, you look troubled, wanna share what’s on your mind?” Howl asked during their meal.  
“It’s just… Aren’t you scared to be seen by people who know you when you do stuff like that in public? I mean… what if a client saw you kissing me? Wouldn’t that cause a lot of trouble if they found out?” Hiki asked.  
“Though I need to remind myself that doing these sorts of things in public is a taboo in general here in Japan, there’s nothing wrong with who I love, so there’s no reason to hide it. And did you forget what I told your father back then? I don't want to do business with people who think they have the right to judge me. Even if I would lose all my clients, I don't care as long as I have you.” Howl answered firmly. Hiki looked into his sturdy eyes. Howl’s strong will and his determination were something he deeply admired. It was the same look he had when they had spoken to his father, Hiki remembered. He smiled fondly and nodded. “Well, even if you'd be without any clients, and therefore without a job, I would still work at CosCaf, so I could care for you.” He took a big bite from his burger and smiled self-confidently.  
“That's true. I would be in your care.” Howl smiled. He still had his side projects, like real estate, and sometimes he played in the stock market, so he wouldn’t go bankrupt if his company failed. But he didn't want to bring that up, because Hiki’s will to support him financially was just too sweet. But suddenly a thought crossed his mind.  
“Hikkun, say…”  
“Hm?” Hiki looked at Howl with his stuffed cheeks. “Waf iw if,” he asked and swallowed.  
“Shouldn’t you swallow first and talk then?”  
“Ah… sorry.” He blushed and made Howl chuckle. Sometimes his lover was still like a kid and Howl loved Hiki's childish side.  
“Hikkun... have you ever thought about having kids?” He asked straightforward. Hiki looked at him dumbfounded.  
“What? K-Kids? Why are you asking me that all of a sudden?”  
“Well, seeing you with Megumi made me think. If you're with me, you will never have kids. You seem to be great with them, so won't it make you sad to miss out on that?”  
“Hmm… I never thought about it. We're both men, so it's impossible for us to have kids of our own, but we could still adopt…” he pondered.  
“See, I don't want kids, never did.” Howl knew how selfish he was by saying that, but he wanted to be honest. Hiki put his burger down and leaned back.  
“Hmm… kids are great, I get along with them very well, but… I don't need to be a father to be happy. I love my life the way it is now and I’m not hung up on the thought of being a parent. And as long as I have you, I don’t need anything else... Except for food,” he grinned and took another big bite from his delicious burger. Howl smiled lovingly, but suddenly Hiki’s expression darkened. “Bub... whap aboub Fofie…?” Hiki munched.  
“What do you mean? What does she have to do with that?”  
“What if Sophie wants to be an aunt and will hate me for taking that away from her...” Hiki looked at him anxiously.  
“Calm down, Hikkun. Sophie knows that I never wanted to have kids, and she’s fine with it. If she wants to have kids in her life, she can make them herself,” Howl winked.  
Hiki nodded.  
“I get that you’re nervous, but there’s no way on Earth she would hate you, Hikkun. I told her everything about you and she’s very excited to meet you. It doesn’t matter to her if you’re a man or a woman. She would never be against something or someone that makes me happy, you know?” Howl smiled at him fondly and took his hand. “You two are going to get along great, I know it. So please don’t worry, okay?”  
“Okay.” He had to try to stay calm and not overthink everything again.   
“Hikkun, are you done eating?”  
“Hm? Yeah, why?”  
“I would like to go home and have dessert.” Howl winked and grinned maliciously. It took Hiki a moment before he realized what Howl was insinuating.  
“Eh… B-But it’s only early afternoon…” he stuttered, flustered.  
Howl leaned on the table, looked deep into his eyes, and whispered: “I’ll make you forget about time soon, so let’s go.”  
“Okay…” He blushed even deeper and nodded. They got up, Howl paid their bill and they rushed home for “dessert”.

A week later, it was finally Christmas. Hiki was on winter vacation and had also taken time off from work for two weeks. It wasn’t easy, but a colleague of his suddenly jumped in because she needed the extra money, and Hiki had worked so many double shifts, he really needed that vacation. He was very grateful that everything worked out well because that also meant he could spend Christmas and New Year’s at home with Howl. His lover still had to go to work, but Hiki was home when he left in the morning, went downstairs to his office to have lunch with him, and he was home when Howl came back in the evening. Hiki enjoyed his vacation, but in the end, there was not much time to laze around. He had been busy in the kitchen for four days straight. He baked cookies, made mochi, and candied fruits for little gift boxes he prepared for Howl’s employees. Howl had told him that there was no need since they got Christmas bonuses already, but Hiki insisted on giving them something personal since they all were so kind to him whenever he visited Howl. And he always enjoyed working in the kitchen, now that he finally could cook and bake whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.  
The 24th fell on a Wednesday, and Hiki got up at 5 in the morning to prepare the last few boxes. Howl had 63 employees and for those with kids, he put a little bit extra in them. It really was a lot of work, but he managed to get everything ready in time. He placed Howl’s bento on the set breakfast table, added a little note with apologies that he wasn’t there to eat together, and brought the gift boxes down to the office before anyone had arrived. He placed them on the desks and headed to the mall to pick up Howl’s gift from the locker. Afterwards, he did some last grocery errands and went back home to prepare dinner for their festive Christmas meal in the evening.  
He immediately started cooking as he got back and around 5:30 pm he decided to take a quick shower and finish up afterwards. It was stressful, but Hiki couldn’t have felt more fulfilled.  
In the center of their huge living room, they had placed a Christmas tree, decorated in blue and silver ornaments. Everything was neatly decorated, Hiki had put a lot of effort into it. Christmas had become more common in Japan, but back home they never celebrated it. But since Howl had Western roots and had always celebrated Christmas because of his mother, he took the chance to indulge in those festive feelings. They had a blast decorating their apartment together, and in the evening, they had cuddled on the sofa like a big blanket burrito and watched a Christmas movie while eating cake and drinking hot chocolate. Hiki smiled fondly over those memories while getting dressed after his shower. “It’s like I’m living in a cheesy romance movie…” he said to himself and giggled.  
“Hikkun, I'm home!” Howl’s voice suddenly came from the entrance door. When he entered their apartment, the air was filled with a delicious, familiar smell. He took a deep breath and smiled.  
“Ah, Howl! Welcome home.” Hiki came from the bedroom, his hair still a little damp. He walked over to Howl, kissed him, and took his briefcase. “Ugh, heavy. How was your day?” He asked as he put it away.  
“Busy. I'm glad I'm back home now, so I can recharge.” He grabbed Hiki and pulled him closer.  
“Wah, Howl,” Hiki gasped.  
Howl embraced him tightly and Hiki returned his gesture.  
“Howl, shouldn’t we go and sit down? It’s more comfortable…”  
“Shh, batteries are charging, don’t interrupt…” Howl sighed peacefully and made Hiki smile. “...Hikkun…”  
“Hm?”  
“Thank you...”  
“For what?”  
“Your presents for my employees. You’ve worked hard and made them really happy. To put the boxes on their desks as a surprise was a great idea. When did you even get up to do that? They would’ve liked to thank you personally, though. Too bad you didn’t come in for lunch today.”  
“I’m sorry. I was so busy with shopping and cooking…”  
“No need to apologize, but I missed you.” He brushed a strand of Hiki’s long rose blond hair aside, buried his face in Hiki's neck, and sniffed on it. “Mmmhhh you smell so good… like cinnamon and apples...” He started kissing and nibbling on his lover’s soft skin.  
“I-I just took a shower… Ngh…”  
“I can tell, your hair is still a little wet...” Howl’s hot breath on his neck almost made Hiki lose his self-restraint.  
“Howl, no… D-Dinner is almost ready…”  
“Can't I just eat you? You seem ready as well.”  
He pulled down the collar of Hiki’s shirt and gently bit into his shoulder.  
“Wah! No, you can't eat me!” Hiki giggled. “Listen,” he freed himself from Howl’s clasp and gently pushed him away. “I've put a lot of effort into this meal, so you’re going to eat it. Go and take a shower to cool off, I'll finish cooking in the meantime…” He turned around and started walking towards the kitchen entrance, but then he paused. He hesitated for a moment, then, without looking back, he added: “I… I already made something for dessert, but… maybe you can have me as a midnight snack... If you behave,” and dashed into the kitchen.  
Howl could see how red Hiki’s neck was, he must’ve been blushing like crazy.  
“Ugh… How unfair. So damn cute but also sexy at the same time… It’s so hard to hold back...” Howl mumbled so that Hiki couldn't hear him. He turned around and trotted toward the bedroom to take a cold shower. By the time he was done, Hiki had already set up the big dinner table that was standing right next to the Christmas tree. Howl couldn't believe his eyes. The big lights were dimmed and the room was drenched in candlelight. Hiki had put up candles everywhere, which gave off a warm and cozy atmosphere. The table was set up neatly with a white table cloth, decorated with little glass diamonds, blue rose petals made of silk, and candles.  
Howl approached his lover, who was adjusting the cutlery, and hugged him from behind.  
“Wah! Howl, hehe. You startled me. Perfect timing, I'm done,” Hiki said, but Howl didn’t let him go.  
“I knew that the smell was familiar. You made an authentic British Christmas dinner?” Hiki’s heart jumped at the sound of Howl's soft voice next to his ear. Although he couldn't see his face, he knew that Howl was very happy. He placed his hands on Howl's, holding on to Hiki's chest.  
“Yup. It's roasted potatoes, Brussel sprouts, parsnips, pigs in a blanket, gravy, and roast beef. And for dessert, I made a cherry trifle,” Hiki announced proudly. “I hope I did well and it will be to your liking.” He smiled insecurely.  
“It looks great, that’s for sure! Thank you, Hikkun.”  
“L-Let's dig in before it gets cold.”  
They sat down and started eating. Howl couldn't stop himself from expressing his pleasure by moaning and groaning repeatedly. He told Hiki over and over how much he loved the food and how delicious it was.  
“You know, Hikkun, every year at Christmas, my mother cooked a big dinner for us. She was singing Christmas songs all the time. It was her favorite season, and her cooking was great, but yours is even better! I think I've never had a roast beef this juicy and tender, and your Brussel sprouts are just great, and that gravy, ooh…! I could eat like this every day, we definitely have to save some for Sophie,” He munched excitedly and Hiki was beyond happy.  
“I'm so glad. I wasn't able to test cook any of the dishes, because I didn't have the time, so I had no idea if I could actually cook British food, aside from the things I make for breakfast from time to time. I'm so happy that you like it this much.” Hiki smiled brightly. Howl took his hand, kissed it, and looked deep into his eyes.  
“I love you, Hikkun. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.”  
Hiki smiled and teared up a little. “I love you too, Howl. Same goes for me.”

After they were done eating, they had decided to rest for a bit before cleaning up the table. Howl slumped down on the sofa and leaned back, Hiki snuggled against him, his head resting on Howl’s chest.  
“Wow, I ate so much. I'm stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey.” Howl moaned.  
“Hehe, yeah, you ate quite a lot. I'll cook it again on Friday for Sophie. I don't want her to only have leftovers. Oh, and tomorrow we'll go out with Kinsley and his wife, right? I'm kinda nervous since it's the first time I'll meet her.”  
“You don't have to be nervous, Nora is a very sweet and kind person. You always worry too much.”  
Hiki was actually still more worried about meeting Sophie.  
“Hikkun, are you still worried about meeting my sister? You probably are, but you really don't have to. It will be fine, trust me.”  
Is he a mind reader, Hiki thought. “I'm not,” he mumbled.  
“You’re such a bad liar.” Howl chuckled.  
“Ah, Howl! I almost forgot!” Hiki jumped up and headed over to the guest room where he had hidden Howl's gift.  
“As you know, this is the first time I celebrate Christmas, and it was so much fun going Christmas shopping, decorating the tree, and all that. I get to experience so many new things since I met you.” He smiled broadly, sat back down, and handed Howl a big box wrapped in blue and silver Christmas-themed wrapping paper. “It matches our tree, see,” he sparkled. Howl had a hard time not jumping Hiki on the spot. Once again, his cuteness was too much. He cleared his throat.  
“That's a nice detail, Hikkun.” He ruffled his hair and started unwrapping his present. Underneath the paper was a black, shiny cardboard box, so he opened it.  
“Hikkun!” He took his present out of the box, his eyes wide open in shock, while Hiki was fidgeting in excitement next to him.  
“Do you like it?” He smiled anxiously.  
“I absolutely love it! Such a high-quality briefcase! It’s beautiful and it’s more spacious than my old one!” He excitedly looked at the big, black briefcase from all angles and opened it to discover the pockets inside.  
“Yeah, since you get more and more clients, and your company becomes more and more successful, I’ve noticed that your paperwork has increased. This one is bigger, but the material is lighter, so it doesn't add much to the weight of all the papers and is easier to carry around all day. It also has more sections inside, so you don't have everything in one big section, making it easier to organize. And it has small bags on the outside for pens and your glasses case. I wasn't sure about the color since your other one is dark brown, but I thought the black would suit you well,” Hiki explained.  
Howl put his gift aside, grabbed Hiki, and hugged him tightly. Then he loosened his grip, took his lover’s face in both hands, and placed a long and tender kiss on his lips.  
“You thought about this thoroughly and picked the best gift. Thank you, Hikkun.” He kissed him again, and not able to hold back any longer, switched from gentle pecking to a passionate deep kiss. Hiki’s mind started to go blank from the pleasure of feeling Howl’s eager tongue teasing the inside of his mouth.  
“Nh…mmh…haa,” Hiki moaned and panted while Howl started to unbutton his shirt. Suddenly, Howl broke off their steamy encounter with a loud smack and paused.  
“Hikkun! I almost forgot your gift as well!” This time it was him jumping up, leaving behind a flushed, craving for more, Hikaru.  
Howl dashed over to his old briefcase and rummaged around in it while Hiki tried to get back to his senses, wiping the mix of their saliva from his chin.  
"Here you go.” Howl handed him a small green box, with a glittering red bow on it. He lifted the lid and inside was a copy of his favorite book. It was the one he was reading when Howl ran into him at the ramen shop in Machida. Hiki was quite confused.  
“It’s the book from Usami-sensei… but I have a copy already, you know that…”  
“Open it.” Howl said and Hiki did as he was told. He gasped and looked at Howl in disbelief.  
“H-Howl… this is…! Is this for real?!”  
“Yes. It's a signed first edition of your favorite book. He’s your favorite author, right?” Howl smiled.  
“It says ‘Dear Hikaru-kun, thank you for your support. Sincerely, Usami Akihiko’,” Hiki yelled, completely overwhelmed, his cheeks glowing with excitement. “Howl, how did you even get this!?”  
“I was lucky to find the first edition at an old bookstore, and one of our clients is friends with him, so I asked her to get it signed for you… It’s no big deal,” Howl answered, but the truth was that it had been anything but easy. Howl looked for the book on the internet for months and had searched countless bookstores for it. He almost won an online auction, but he got distracted by work and forgot to place a bid. He was lucky indeed though because a few weeks before Christmas he had found it at a very small bookshop after he had met a client at a Sushi bar nearby.  
“Howl… I don't know what to say…” Hiki teared up. “I'm so so happy! Thank you so much!” He huffed and embraced his lover. Then he got up, put the book on the table and took Howl’s hand. He bent forward and whispered: “I think it's time for your midnight snack,” as his face and ears took a glowing pink color.  
Howl swallowed heavily, surprised over Hiki’s sudden invite. He grinned and replied: “Let's dig in, then.” Howl got up, took the lead, and dragged his aroused boyfriend to their bedroom. He opened the door and they walked over to the bed. The only light source was that of the full moon flooding the bedroom. Howl cupped Hiki’s face with both hands, and Hiki looked into his lover’s beautiful, glowing ice blue eyes.  
“Hikkun, I want you. Now.”  
“Take me…” he whispered and Howl kissed him passionately. He panted in between their lustful kisses as they started undressing each other, the smacking sounds and their husky moans filled the air. Howl carefully guided Hiki onto the big bed, interrupted their stormy kiss, and moved down to Hiki’s neck to kiss and suck on his most erogenous zone eagerly.  
“Ah! Mhh... Nh!” Hiki trembled. Howl slowly worked his way down to Hiki’s collarbone, then to his nipples.  
“AH! Ngh…”  
Howl took his sweet time with his lover’s upper body. Hiki was very sensitive and Howl loved taking advantage of that, but his lover started to become impatient. More! He wanted more!!  
“Haa… Howl, please… ahh…”  
“What is it Hikkun?”  
“P-Please…… down there… too…”.  
Howl grinned satisfied. He opened Hikaru’s jeans and underwear and pulled them off. “Oh, you’re feeling it a lot today. You’re already hard and leaking precum, nice.”  
Hiki could feel Howl’s gaze and his erect penis started twitching impatiently, but Howl didn’t touch him. He just kept staring for a bit longer, knowing that his lover’s impatience grew by every second.  
“Ngh… H-Howl, pl-”  
“Your legs... spread them,” he said with a firm voice. Hikaru shuddered and did as he was told.  
“Wider.”  
Howl’s deep voice echoed in Hiki’s head. He had leaned over and his mouth was close to Hiki’s twitching dick now. So close, he could feel his breath on his wet tip. But Howl still didn’t touch him. He was just staring at it. Chills ran down Hiki’s spine and he was breathing heavily, the tension was unbearable, his face feverish red. It was frustrating and arousing at the same time. “Kh…” He gritted his teeth.  
Howl enjoyed teasing Hiki a lot, but to make up for it, he placed his lips on the tip of Hikaru’s cock and devoured it.  
“NGH - UAH!” Hiki clung to the sheets, trying not to climax immediately.  
While Howl’s head was moving up and down and he was teasing the tip of Hiki’s dick with his tongue, he moved one hand to his pulsating hole, rubbing it gently with his fingers. Hikaru jolted from the unexpected sensation.  
“HN, AH! HAH!” Hiki moaned.  
Howl continued sucking, licking, and kissing Hiki’s dick diligently all the while slowly pushing one finger in, using the mix of saliva and precum, that was dripping down to Hiki’s greedy hole, as a lubricant. That familiar feeling of Howl’s fingers and being pleasured in two places at once… Hiki’s hips felt like they were melting. Howl added another finger and switched from sucking Hikaru off to jerking him off with his hand. He stroked his cock faster and tightened his grip while adding a third finger.  
“HOWL! Ah! Please, no…! NGH… STOP!” Hiki yelled. Howl stopped immediately to check up on his lover.  
“What is it, Hikkun!? Does it hurt? Did I add fingers too fast? We did it a lot recently, though, you’re pretty soft already...”  
“N-No…! That’s not it. I just… don’t want to come like this. I want to cum… with you inside me. Together,” Hiki panted. Howl smiled at him, relieved that his lover was okay.  
“As you wish.” Howl was still wearing his pants, so he got up from the bed and took them off. The sight of his muscular, sweaty body drenched in the moonlight and his rock hard dick… Hiki was about to burst from happiness and arousal. Mine, he thought and opened his arms. Howl crawled back onto the bed and embraced him.  
“I love you, Hikkun. Merry Christmas,” Howl whispered.  
“I love you too, Howl. So, so much. Merry- NGH!” Hiki wasn’t able to end his sentence. Howl had started to enter him slowly but eagerly, finally complying with Hiki’s pleas from before. Hiki trembled and moaned underneath him.  
“Is it okay for me to move?” he asked when he had fully entered him. Hiki loved how considerate his lover was, but sometimes he was a little too worried. Hiki wasn’t that fragile after all.  
“M-Move as you please. Even if you’re a bit rough, it’s fine. I-I like it,” Hiki confessed blushing and averted his eyes in embarrassment.  
“Dammit, you’re just too cute, Hikkun!” He started moving slowly but picked up the pace soon. He put a little more bodyweight into it than usual. Hikaru moaned and gasped in pleasure as he buried his fingernails into Howl’s back, which drove Howl wild. His mind went blank, his hips felt like they were moving on their own and he wasn’t able to stop.  
“Hikkun… Kh… You're so tight, you need to loosen up or I won't last long…”  
“Mh, I… can’t, feels… so good… AH!”  
Howl's heart skipped a beat. He shifted to change their position a little bit so that his thrusts reached even deeper. He hit Hiki’s sweet spot relentlessly as he watched his reactions, which drove him even wilder.  
“…AH!! …YES!! …TH-THERE!! …AH, HOWL, THAT’S AMAZING!!! AH, UAH” Hiki was trembling and tensing up under Howl’s vigorous motions, clinging onto him.  
“AH, HOWL I – I’M…NH, HAH.”  
“Me too,” Howl grunted and after a few more thrusts both men climaxed simultaneously.  
“AH-AAHHH!!”  
“NKHH!!”  
They both were completely out of breath, huffing loudly as Howl’s thrusts became slower and slower until they finally stopped. Back to his senses, he realized what had just happened.  
“Hikkun, are you okay? I was so rough, did I hurt you?” Howl asked and carefully pulled out.  
“Hehe, I’m fine.” Hiki smiled lovingly and caressed his worried lover’s face, “But can we stay like this a little longer?”  
“Sure.” Howl smiled back in relief, laid down next to Hiki, covered them both with a blanket and wrapped his arms around him. Those moments were Hiki’s favorite. Cuddling skin on skin after being the closest they could be, there wasn’t anything better than that. Their sweaty bodies slowly calmed down and their breathing normalized.  
“Howl…” Hiki suddenly broke the silence.  
“Yes?”  
“Merry Christmas.”  
“Merry Christmas, Hikkun.”  
They kissed and slowly drifted off to sleep.

On the following morning, Howl was almost late for work and he had to hurry to get ready in time. Before he left, he peeked into the bedroom to look after his lover, who was still lying in bed, lifeless and more than glad that he was on vacation, because their Christmas sex went on for four more rounds.  
“I'm off, Hikkun. Be at my office at seven, we'll go to the restaurant with Kinsley and his wife right after work…” But Hiki didn’t answer. “Hikkun, are you going to be okay? I feel bad for leaving you like this…”  
“Mmmhhh… have a nife day, woff hou~” he muffled into his pillow.  
Howl walked over to the bed, knelt down next to Hiki's head, brushed away some hair that was covering his face, and kissed him on the forehead. “This is not how you tell someone that you love them. Say it again properly,” he whispered into his ear and softly bit his earlobe. Shivers ran down Hiki's spine. He raised his flushed head from the pillow and covered his ear with his hand in embarrassment. “Ngh, stop that...”  
“Say it.” Howl grinned playfully.  
“Baka!” Hiki snubbed, but then he quickly kissed him and pressed his forehead on Howl’s and looked him into the eyes. “I love you. And now hurry, or you'll be late. I'm fine, no need to worry.”  
Howl chuckled, got up, and walked towards the door. “I miss you already. See you later.”  
“M-Miss you too...” Hiki stuttered and covered his glowing face with his blanket. Howl smiled lovingly and left for work.  
“Jeez…” Hiki said out loud, his heart pounding, and sighed. He needed to get up, but he was exhausted. “Five more minutes,” he decided. He would have liked to blame it on his insatiable lover, but Hiki was just the same. “Four more rounds might've been a bit too much, though,” he said to himself. His hips and his back hurt like hell, but he had to get up. Since they ended up screwing around all night, they didn't clear the dinner table and the kitchen still looked like a battlefield. Hiki dragged himself out of bed and slouched to the bathroom. But it was worth it, he thought grinning, but with a pained expression on his face. Despite his aching body, Hiki was in high spirits. He managed to finish all the housework before he had to leave to have dinner with Howl, Kinsley, and his wife Nora. He had done the grocery shopping for the Christmas meal for Sophie, cleaned everything up, and put new sheets on the bed. Then he took a quick shower, got dressed, and went down to Howl’s office.  
“Oh, Ueda-kun! Long time no see, how are you doing?” A tall man greeted him in the office hallway as he left the elevator. It was one of Howl’s employees.  
“Hello, Sakata-san! I’m fine, thank you. How was your onsen trip?” Hiki replied, smiling.  
“It was great! I can highly recommend you to visit Hokkaido at this time of the year, it’s beautiful. Oh, and thank you so much for the sweets and baked goods, my daughter was so happy about the cookie with her name on it. She told me to thank you for her, too!”  
“Ah, I’m happy to hear that,” Hiki sparkled.   
“Our Shachou is in the conference room, by the way. His meeting should be over by now,” he smiled.  
“I see, thank you Sakata-san. Are you leaving now?”  
“Yes, I’m finally done for today. Everyone else has already left, but I was the recording secretary for the meeting, so I had to stay. I can’t wait to get home, we’ll have yakiniku tonight, hehe.”  
“Oh, that sounds great! Please pass my greetings to your wife and Miku-chan.” Hiki smiled brightly before the two men parted. It was still surprising to him how easy it was to talk to Howl’s employees by now. He had warmed up to them quite fast, but no wonder, he thought, since they were all very kind to him. Just the kind of people he’d expect to work for such a good man. Hiki made his way to the conference room at the other end of the big office. The walls were made of glass, so he could see Howl from afar, and his heart skipped a beat. He was standing at a big conference table, browsing through some papers with his glasses on and his usual stoic look on his face. So sexy, he thought lovestruck. He couldn’t wait to be with him again. Without Howl he just felt incomplete. He wanted to walk up to the door, but a girl’s piercing voice suddenly rang in his ears.   
“Shachou-san~”  
He froze, and with a “whoosh” a girl he had never seen before passed him and sashayed into the conference room. She approached Howl and touched his shoulder.  
Hiki narrowed his eyebrows. How inappropriate, he thought and felt irritated all of a sudden. He wasn’t able to hear what they were saying, but Howl looked at her and… smiled. Hiki’s heart throbbed and his stomach churned. Then, Howl stuffed the papers into his new briefcase and left the room. “Let’s continue our talk tomorrow, Yoshino-kun, I have to leave now… Ah, Hikkun! You’re already here, great. Kinsley is already on his way to pick up his wife, we’ll meet them at the restaurant, come on,” Howl explained hectically.  
“Okay...”  
“Hikkun, why are you frowning? Are you not feeling well? Maybe we should cancel after all… I was already thinking about doing so when I saw you this morning.”  
“Shachou-san, is everything okay? Your little friend here looks kinda pale,” that girl squeaked as she popped up right next to them.  
“I’m fine, let’s go,” Hiki answered quickly. They took the elevator down together and that girl kept talking and talking, schmoozing Howl the whole time. Hiki was pissed, but he didn’t want to say anything that might ruin the mood for their dinner. Hiki didn’t even know that girl, but he still disliked her. Confronted with unheard-of feelings, Hiki went quiet until they arrived at the restaurant. Meeting Kinsley’s wife Nora was a good distraction. It was the first time they met, and they got along very well. The four of them had a lovely dinner.  
When they arrived home, Hiki put on his pajamas and went straight to bed.  
“Nora is a very sweet person, isn’t she? I was afraid that you might not find many topics to talk about, since she’s much older than you, but luckily that wasn’t the case.”  
“Yeah, I like her,” Hiki responded briefly.  
“...Hikkun, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting weird ever since you picked me up earlier,” Howl said as he crawled under the blanket and joined his lover in their bed.  
“Everything is fine. Goodnight, sleep well. Love you.” Hiki replied, turning his back to Howl.  
“Tch. Again with that half-hearted ‘love you’...” Irritated by Hiki’s demeanor, Howl grabbed the blanket and pulled it so hard, it flew off the bed.  
“Hey, what’re you doing?!”  
Howl had gotten on all fours, towering over the stunned Hiki like a tiger over his prey and stared at him intensely. “I want you to tell me what’s going on with you. Now,” Howl growled.  
“I said I’m fine, jeez. What’s wrong with you startling me like that?! Get off of me, it’s late, we should go to sleep.”  
“Didn’t we agree that we’re going to be more open about our feelings? Are you mad at me? Please tell me.”  
“Okay, okay. Let’s talk. But please, can you get off of me? Y-You’re only wearing shorts… It’s distracting.” He blushed and averted his eyes. Howl grinned and got up. “Let’s go to the living room and talk,” Howl suggested. “I don’t want to have serious talks in bed, this is our happy place after all.”  
Hiki nodded, they got up and walked to the other room.  
“Sit down and wait,” Howl ordered him and went to the kitchen. Hiki did as he was told and slumped down on the sofa and shortly after, his boyfriend came back, placed a big mug on the coffee table in front of Hiki, and sat down next to him.  
“H-Hot chocolate?” Hiki’s eyes widened.  
“With whipped cream and sprinkles, just how you like it.”  
“Thank you...” He took a big sip. “Ooh, you put cinnamon in it too…” Hiki smiled wholesomely.  
“It’s good to see you smile again. Now please tell me what’s wrong. I hate to see you upset.” Howl reached out and wiped some whipped cream from Hiki’s nose.  
“I’m sorry, I’m behaving like a stupid brat.” Hiki looked down.  
“Well, you’re not behaving like yourself, that’s for sure.”  
Hiki swallowed. “When I came to pick you up, there was this girl… and… she touched you and… y-you smiled at her. You never smile at anyone. Not at your employees, not at strangers when we’re out, not even at Kinsley and his wife tonight. Your expression gets a little less stoic when you’re in a good mood, but… usually, you only smile at me. I sound like a kid when I say this, I know that but… it made me feel kinda special, you know? And seeing you smile at that person… really hurt. I want you to only smile at me. There, I said it. Ugh, I feel so stupid!” Hiki covered his blushing face with both hands, but his glowing red ears were still visible.   
Howl gently uncovered Hiki’s face to look him into his eyes while he answered. “It’s true. I don’t like to show my emotions to anyone. Even as a kid I got into trouble with my teachers because I seemed aloof and conceited. See, smiling and laughter are some of the deepest, most honest, and revealing emotions for me, just like crying. I don’t want to show that to just anyone. But it’s different with you because you’re special. You’re pretty bad at reading people, so let me make one thing clear. The smile I gave to that girl was fake. She’s a pain in the ass and I can’t wait until her internship ends. The other day I responded to one of her questions when I was in a rush and apparently, she didn’t take my tone well, so she started crying all of a sudden.” Howl sighed deeply. “Just thinking about it gives me a headache… Kinsley told me to be more gentle and careful with her, so I’m touching her with velvet gloves now. It’s troublesome, but it’s only two more weeks.” Howl rolled his eyes.  
“I see... “  
“You’re not acting childish, I get why you’re frustrated.”  
“But Howl… I smile at other people all the time, so if you think it’s something so intimate…”  
“Of course it’s okay for me if you smile at others,” he chuckled. “I’m just a bit peculiar with certain things. I just want you to know that my true and honest smile, the one that comes directly from my heart, is a Hiki-exclusive smile.” And with that, Howl smiled at him fondly. Hiki was so moved, he leaped forward and embraced his lover tightly.  
“I love you so much,” he huffed.  
“I love you too, Hikkun.”  
Hiki felt so much better, it was such a relief. The fatigue of his body and mind that he had held back the whole day caught up to him and he nodded off in Howl’s arms.  
“Hikkun…?” Howl chuckled softly as he realized it. He carried him over to the bedroom and tucked him in. “Goodnight, my love.” He smiled, left a kiss on his forehead, and went to bed himself.


	7. Sophie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW
> 
> *Note: Nenmatsu Nenshi: end of the year, beginning of the year. Holidays in Japan, usually between New Year's and the 4th of January

Finally, the day Hiki was going to meet Howl’s twin sister Sophie had arrived - and he was a nervous wreck. Not only because he would meet Sophie, but also because he hoped the dinner would be as good as the one on Christmas Eve. He started with the preparations early in the morning and cleaned the condo. Howl had told him that he would pick up Sophie at the airport at 6 pm, so they should be home around seven. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get everything done in time, but in the end, he even managed to take a shower and to make a special dessert. Hiki was exhausted, but his excitement was stronger. He was just picking up the last dish from the kitchen to put it on the dinner table, when the main door opened and Howl and Sophie walked in.  
“Wow, brother, this apartment has changed so much,” Sophie noticed loudly and immediately scurried around the condo, checking every room. Hiki was standing in the kitchen with a bowl of mashed potatoes in his hands, frozen. He was way too nervous to go out right away, so he used the time Sophie was looking around to gather his courage.  
”It feels like a real home now, what the heck happened,” she asked as she came back to the living room.  
“Hiki happened. He did all of this,” Howl answered proudly. At that moment Hiki entered the room.  
“W-Welcome to our home, Sophie-san, I’m very happy to finally meet Howl’s twin sister! L-Let’s get along well!” he accidentally yelled and bowed. It wasn’t his intention, he was just too nervous. And he was still holding those mashed potatoes. _Oh no, I’m such an idiot, she’s going to think I’m a freak_, he thought in despair and blushed. Howl noticed Hiki’s mood, so he walked up to him, took the bowl and kissed him on the forehead.   
“Hikkun, meet Sophie. Sophie, this is Hikaru.” He looked at his shy looking lover and smiled as he walked away to put the bowl on the dinner table.  
“Oh my god, that was so adorable,” Sophie squealed and gave Hiki a long and very firm hug.  
“Ugh…” Hiki groaned.  
“Oi, Sophie! Don't break him, I still need him, you know,” Howl scolded her.  
“Oops, I'm sorry!” She quickly let go of him. “But look at him, he's so cute,” she said as she pinched Hiki’s cheeks.  
“I'm well aware of that,” Howl replied.  
“Uwah, so soft and squishy and sweet, just like a Mochi! So cute, I want to eat you up! Ooh, and I love your hair, it’s so silky, and I love the color too! Rose-blonde is so rare...”  
“N-Nice to meet you, Sophie-san. I hope you had a nice trip. Are you tired? You're probably hungry, dinner is ready…” Hiki babbled nervously.   
Sophie turned around and glared at Howl, still pinching Hiki's cheek with one hand and fondling his ponytail with the other. “Brother! Where on earth did you find him?! I want one too!”  
“Sorry Soph, he's one of a kind and he's mine, you can't have him.” Howl grinned teasingly while Hiki flushed.  
“Tche.” Sophie finally let go of Hiki who instantly started rubbing his tormented cheeks. “Not fair.” She stuck out her tongue. Sophie was even more beautiful than in the pictures Howl had shown him. Her shiny, hip-length, blonde hair was tied back in a low ponytail, her eyes the same ice-blue as Howl’s. She looked so graceful and pretty, but her charisma was that of a fighter. Still, Hiki couldn't believe that this woman was a martial arts pro. Though, after that hug...  
“Wow, amazing,” Sophie yelled when she noticed the loaded dinner table. “You made all of this by yourself?”  
“Ah, y-yes. I hope you like it, Sophie-san. They're traditional British Christmas dishes and I also made a cobbler for dessert,” Hiki explained, smiling.  
“We should eat before it gets cold,” Howl proposed.  
“Yes, I'm starving. The last time I ate was this morning since they don't have food on short flights. Can't wait to dig in, it looks absolutely delicious, Mochi.”  
“M-Mochi…?” Hiki whispered, looking at Howl.  
“Just go with it, she has nicknames for everyone she likes,” he explained.  
_‘Everyone she likes’_, Hiki repeated in his head and smiled in relief. While they were eating, Howl and Sophie kept groaning and praised Hiki's food in the exact same way. He giggled at the thought of having a female version of Howl around. After the main course, Hiki served warm apple cinnamon cobbler. “I hope you like it. It was sort of an experiment,” he mentioned as he put the dessert on the table.  
“Hmmmm… It smells absolutely fantastic,” Sophie swooned. The cobbler was a success as well and there were no leftovers in the end. Hiki was happy and after all the anxiety and stress had fallen off of him, he finally noticed how tired he really was. When they were done, Hiki got up to clear the table, but Sophie jumped up immediately.  
“Nuh-uh, no way, Mochi! After cooking such an opulent meal and all, you deserve a break. My brother and I are going to clean up, you go and get comfy on the sofa or something,” Sophie ordered.  
“I was just going to say the same. Go and rest, Hikkun. We'll join you in a bit.”  
“B-But Sophie is our guest! I can't let our guest clean up…”  
“Sophie isn't a guest, she's family.” Howl winked and smiled.  
“Exactly! Now off to the sofa with you, no further objections.” Sophie grabbed Hiki by his shoulders, turned him around and gently pushed him away. He gave in and trotted over to the sitting area.  
The twins cleared the dining table, stored away the leftovers and cleaned the dishes that didn't fit into the loaded dishwasher while bickering with each other. Hiki was greatly entertained by them and giggled the whole time while waiting for them.  
“How about we end this wonderful evening with a Christmas movie?” Sophie suggested when they eventually joined Hiki on the sofa.  
“Here, Hikkun.” Howl smiled and placed a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream topped with cookie crumbs on the table.  
“Ohh, thank you Howl!” He sparkled.  
Howl sat down right next to him and didn't leave any space between them. Hiki grabbed his lover’s arm and snuggled up against him. Howl’s hand was resting on Hiki's thigh. Normally Hiki wasn't that touchy-feely when others were around, but he felt so comfortable around Sophie already, that he had lost his shyness.   
“Oh, how about Home Alone?” she asked. Hiki and Howl agreed, so they started watching. A couple of minutes later, Howl noticed that Hiki's grip had loosened up. He was already sound asleep.  
“Oh my, he must've been really tired.” Howl got up from the sofa carefully, because Hiki was still leaning against him, and picked him up while Sophie turned down the volume.  
“I'll take him to bed,” Howl whispered. He brought him over, took off Hiki’s pants and his cardigan and tucked him in. He kissed him on the cheek and whispered: “Sleep well, Hikkun,” and went back to the living room.  
“Everything okay?” Sophie asked.  
“Yeah. The past couple of days have been very busy for him. He’s on vacation, but he doesn’t really rest. At this pace, he’s going to get sick again,” Howl said as he slumped back down on the sofa.  
“Brother…”  
“Hm?”  
“You smile an awful lot when he’s around, it's kinda gross. But also cute. I’m glad that you found happiness.”  
“I am happy indeed. Very happy.”  
“And I can see why. Hiki is a wonderful person. Loving, kind, caring… and so cute! I couldn't have wished for a better person at your side. Take good care of him.”  
“I will… Thank you, Soph.”  
“Shut up.”  
Howl grinned. “I think I'll head to bed too, I'll have to get up early tomorrow.”  
“Alright, sleep well. I’ll go to bed after I finish watching the movie.”  
“Okay, sleep well too.” Howl left, went to the bathroom and then straight to bed. He scooted over to the still sound asleep Hiki, took his hand, kissed it softly and fell asleep with a content smile on his face.  
  
The next morning, Hiki woke up a little confused. Wasn't he watching a movie with Howl and Sophie a moment ago? But now he was in bed… holding hands with Howl…  
He must’ve fallen asleep on the sofa. He felt embarrassed. _Why did this have to happen while we have a guest… Although, Howl said she’s family… Is it okay then?_, Hiki asked himself. He carefully released his hand from Howl’s grip and went to the bathroom to get ready. Afterwards, he headed to the kitchen to prepare Howl’s lunchbox and breakfast. He put the rice into the rice cooker, made Miso soup and was about to stir fry some bacon and eggs when Sophie walked in.  
“Good morning, Mochi,” she greeted him smiling.  
“Ah, g-good morning Sophie-san! Did you sleep well?”  
“I sure did. The guest room is really pretty and cozy, great job. But can you please drop the honorifics? We’re family, right…?” She winked.  
“Y-Yes! And thank you, I’m happy you like the room. You’re our first guest to use it,” he smiled but immediately became serious again. “Oh, uhm, about last night... I'm sorry for falling asleep, that was very rude of me.”  
“Awww, you're so adorable!” Sophie ruffled through Hiki's long hair.  
“Hey, touching him is prohibited. I let it slide yesterday, but no touching from now on,” Howl admonished his sister as he entered the kitchen.  
“I'm your twin sister, yet I’m not allowed to?”  
“No. I’m the only one who’s allowed to touch him,” he playfully glared at Sophie.  
Hiki giggled. He loved to watch them joke around and tease each other. Howl approached him to kiss him on the forehead. He would have kissed him on the lips, but he knew Hiki was too shy to do that in front of someone else. “Good morning, Hikkun.”  
“Good mor-... wah, stop stealing the bacon, you can have it when breakfast is ready, you bacon thief!” Hiki yelled at his sneaky lover and took the piece of crispy fried bacon back from him. “Go and get dressed, I’m almost done.”  
“Fiiiine.” Howl left the kitchen pouting.  
“You're strict, I like that. It's exactly what he needs.”   
“He's like a child sometimes,” Hiki replied with his eyebrows drawn together, but he had a loving expression on his face.  
“Oh yeah, he totally is.” She smiled. “Do you need help with anything?”  
“No thanks, I'm almost done. The only thing that’s left is making his lunch bento, but I'll put in some of the leftovers from last night, he’ll be happy about that and it'll be done fast.”  
“Okay, I'll set the table then,” Sophie said and did so.  
After their meal Howl got ready to leave. “What are you two going to do while I'm gone?” he asked as he grabbed his new briefcase.  
“I was thinking we could go shopping and watch a movie if Mochi is in,” Sophie answered.  
“Sounds great,” Hiki approved smiling.  
“Alright then, have fun. I’ll miss you, Hikkun.”   
“I’ll miss you too, Howl.”  
Without thinking about it he kissed Hiki on the lips, since it was their normal morning routine, and left.  
“Ah, uhm…” he stuttered, flustered, looking at Sophie.  
“Calm down, Mochi. I've seen people kiss before. Although… I've never seen Howl treat anyone like that…”  
“L-Like what?”  
“Well, you know… so gentle and loving. I don’t think he cared much about his former lovers.”  
Hiki went silent for a moment as they walked over to the living area and made themselves comfortable on the sofa with some coffee and hot chocolate.  
“Did… Did he have many partners before me?” Hiki asked shyly.  
“He had some affairs, but his relationships were always kinda shallow. I always told him that they were unhealthy. He seemed like he tried to fill a void inside him, but he hadn’t been successful… until now.” She smiled.  
“I-I see…” Hiki blushed while insecurely fumbling on a strand of his hair. He hadn’t really talked about his former relationships with Howl so far.   
“But that's actually something you should ask my brother about. I probably said too much already, it’s not my place to do so. Anyway, your hair is pretty long, and it’s super silky, so nice. What products do you use?” Sophie changed the topic.  
“Just shampoo and conditioner, but only silicone-free products. I actually thought about cutting it the other day though, but I'm still not sure if I really should…”  
“Have you been to a hair salon to ask for a pro’s opinion?”  
“Oh no, I've been wearing my hair like this for a long time now, I haven’t been to a salon in ages. If it gets too long, I just cut the ends myself. It’s kind of a thing in my family for men to have long hair, but sometimes I get really tired of it.”  
“Hmm… How about we go to a salon when we’re at the mall later, and if you feel comfortable with the hairdresser’s suggestions, you can get a haircut right away!”  
Hiki hesitated.  
“Sorry, I'm a very impulsive person, that's probably not how you do things,” she realized.  
“No, it's okay, let's do it! Maybe it's time for a change now that I'm living a new life. And it got too long anyway. I mean, it's almost mid-back. Let's do it,” he said eagerly.  
“Alright,” Sophie replied smiling.  
Hiki cleaned up the kitchen while Sophie got ready, and then they left for the mall.  
Everything was still covered in Christmas decorations. Hiki enjoyed the atmosphere a lot. They walked around for a bit and went into some clothing stores before they decided to check out the hairdressers. There were three hair salons at the mall, and Sophie insisted to check out all of them. In the end, Hiki chose a small, traditional-looking one, that wasn't too crowded. The hairdresser was a nice, middle-aged lady whose kind smile warmed Hiki's heart. He felt very comfortable with her suggestions, so he decided to get his new haircut there. Sophie had challenged Hiki not to look at the mirror until the lady was done, so he had no idea what was happening. He kept his eyes closed diligently, but it felt like she cut off an awful lot. He became really anxious, and Sophie’s "oohs" and "aahs" made it even worse.  
“Okay, you can open your eyes now. Please don't faint, and please don't sue me, okay,” the woman said jokingly after finishing her work.  
She had shortened his hair so much, it went from mid-back to mid-neck. Hiki stared at his reflection in the mirror with his eyes wide open in shock.  
“Mochi, are you frozen? Just so you know, you look very cute and handsome! I mean you’ve looked cute before too, but you give off a more mature vibe now. It really suits you a lot!” She tried to comfort him.   
“You also don’t look as much like a girl anymore,” the hairdresser added bluntly.  
“I can't believe I did this,” Hiki whispered.  
“You don't like it, Mochi? I'm so sorry, I kinda pushed you into it.”  
“N-No, I like it,” Hiki smiled. He looked at it from all sides. “I just have to get used to it…”  
“I'm glad, you really scared me there for a second!” Sophie laughed relieved.  
Hiki thanked the hairdresser, who seemed very pleased. They paid and left the salon. On their way to a food stall to grab lunch, Hiki suddenly asked: “Sophie… Do you think… Howl is going to like it?” He touched his hair and looked down insecurely.  
“I'm 100% sure he's gonna love it! No need to be nervous. But I think even if you shaved your head he would still be crazy about you,” she chuckled.  
Hiki appreciated her pep talk, but he was still very nervous and insecure. What if Howl liked him better with long hair? They had never talked about it before, but what if Howl didn’t want him to cut it? It was the look he had fallen in love with after all. Hiki's  
stomach churned. He just wanted to get it over with and show him. But he enjoyed his time with Sophie too, so he decided to push those negative feelings aside.  
The two of them had lunch and afterwards, they strolled through some more stores, tried on clothes, and then they had crêpes stuffed with ice cream and fruit. Their personalities were very different, but they still got along great and she told him all kinds of funny and cute stories about Howl when he was a child.  
Around 5 pm, Sophie suggested going to the movie theater.  
“My brother won't be home any time soon, right? Let's go watch a movie. There's one I would like to see. It's called ‘No Escape from the dark’, it received great critiques. It’s super gory and scary, I'm sure you're gonna love it.”  
“Ah… uhm… A horror movie…?” Hiki stopped walking. “I-I don’t think that’s a good idea…”  
“Oh, so you’re a scaredy-cat, huh?” She put her arm around his shoulders and dragged him along. “Haha, how cute! Come on, you'll live. I'll protect you, I promise,” she giggled.  
Hiki couldn’t handle horror movies at all, so watching splatter was a really, really bad idea. He knew that, but he didn’t want to be a buzzkill, so he gave in. But when it was over, he wished he would have chosen to be a buzzkill.  
“Hey, Mochi… you okay?” Sophie asked when they were on the train on their way back home. “You look a little pale…”  
“I’m fine,” he posed a smile. “Thank you for today, it was a lot of fun.”  
“I had a lot of fun, too,” she returned his smile. “And don’t worry, my brother will love your new haircut.”  
Hiki swallowed heavily as his heart throbbed. He had completely forgotten about that. Now that Sophie had reminded him, his anxiety had returned. As if being scared because of that movie wasn't enough, now he was scared of Howl’s reaction too. Hiki sighed heavily, and although he was afraid, he couldn’t wait to see Howl. 

“We’re baaaack,” Sophie belted as they entered the condo. "Seems like he's not home yet, huh." They took off their shoes and jackets. "In that case, if it's okay for you, I'll retreat to my room for a while, Mochi. One of my friends is going through something currently, and I'd like to check up on her."  
"Oh, yeah sure! I'll go and take a shower then. I'm all itchy from the stubbles," Hiki replied.   
Sophie nodded smiling and they parted in the hallway. She went to her room and Hiki went to the master bedroom from where he had access to their walk-in closet and the master bathroom. He picked some new clothes and placed them on the bed before entering the bathroom. He paused in front of the mirror and examined his new hairstyle thoroughly. He liked it more than he thought and it would be much easier to take care of now. Happy about his more or less spontaneous decision, Hiki smiled at his reflection, when suddenly the door slowly opened.   
"Hikkun, are you in here? I'm home, is it okay if I come in…?" Howl was standing at the entrance and immediately froze at Hiki's sight.   
"Ah, Howl… W-Welcome home…" Hiki replied nervously. He insecurely glanced at his lover, scared of how he’d react to his little surprise.   
“H-Hikkun… your hair!” Howl stared at him with a shocked expression as he slowly walked over to him and gently touched the tips of Hiki’s hair. "You cut it…" he noted as he brushed a strand of hair behind his lover's ear.   
"Sophie and I went to a salon at the mall… D-Do you like it?"   
"I do, it really does suit you.”  
Hiki brightened up, he felt so relieved.   
“I thought you looked cute with your long hair too, I loved it when you tied it up into a ponytail with a few strands framing your beautiful face. I loved playing with it when I held you after we had sex. But I'm amazed because you look even cuter now, I didn’t think that was even possible."  
"Howl…" Hiki blushed, flustered.  
"I want to find out if there's enough hair left to play with it, after we-"   
"No way," Hiki interrupted him. "Sophie is here, we can't!"   
Howl stepped behind Hiki and let his fingers slide down his neck. "Your neck is in plain view, and knowing that that’s one of your most erogenous zones is such a turn on." He placed soft kisses on his lover's nape, slowly moving down to his shoulder.   
"Nh…" Hiki closed his eyes as goosebumps formed on his pale skin. He got carried away and his hand wandered behind him to touch his lover’s front. “Howl, you’re hard already…”   
“It’s because you’re so sexy,” he whispered into Hiki’s ear and continued to kiss and lick his neck. “Mh, Hikkun, this is great... Now I can reach this place more easily and since I don't have to hold up your hair, both my hands are free.” He let one hand slip underneath Hiki's shirt and caressed his chest, as the other moved down to fondle his excited lover's hardening dick, which made him shudder.  
“Ngh...!”  
“Hikkun, can we do it right here?” Howl asked, but he didn’t wait for an answer. He gently started pushing Hiki forward, leading him over to the wall.  
“But Sophie is…”  
“She's in her room. But even if she comes out, she won’t come in here,” Howl huffed as he started unbuckling Hiki's pants. “Place your hands on the wall, Hikkun. Left and right from your head, and leave them there.”  
“Mh… O-Okay…” Hiki did as he was told. At that point, he couldn't think rationally anymore. The mere realization that Howl became that aroused just by looking at him made him incredibly happy and all he wanted at that moment was to become one with him. "Please hurry," he begged. Howl swallowed heavily and took off Hiki’s pants and his briefs. Seeing his lover’s exposed lower half eagerly stuck out, his hands on the wall, breathing heavily in excitement, almost drove him mad. As revenge for stirring him up so much, he decided to tease Hiki a little.  
“You’ll have to keep it down, Hikkun. Sophie might hear us.” He opened his own pants and revealed his throbbing boner. Hiki, peeking over his shoulder, shivered at that sight and nodded.   
“Spread your legs, Hikkun, and stick out your hips a little more.”  
Again, Hiki obeyed and Howl positioned himself right behind him. “Wait, what about my shirt?”  
“If you’re completely naked, you’ll feel cold when you’re leaning against the tiles like this. Better keep it on. And you look so lewd only half-dressed, with your ass sticking out…” Howl grinned.  
“Y-You’re so dirty…” Hiki blushed intensely.  
“Look who’s talking,” he said as he pushed two fingers inside his lover to stretch him out.  
“Aah!” Hiki jolted.   
“Hikkun, remember to keep your voice down,” Howl smirked as he moved his fingers in and out.  
“Mh… Ngh…” Hiki started panting, trying not to make a sound.  
“Okay, that should be enough,” Howl huffed after a few minutes. “I'm sorry, I can't hold back anymore. Please tell me if it hurts…”  
“MMH… Ugh…” Hiki buried his face in the crook of his arm as Howl entered him slowly. It was a bit painful, but he didn’t want him to stop.  
“Hikkun, keep your hips steady…” Howl grunted as Hiki unconsciously started moving away from him. Suddenly his erect dick touched the cold tiles on the wall, which caused Hiki to jerk his lower body backwards into Howl’s direction so that he accidentally shoved Howl’s whole dick inside himself at once. “NGAH!! FUCK!!” He leaned against the wall, panting and sweating. He definitely wasn’t ready to be entered this quick and needed a moment to adjust.  
Howl chuckled.  
“What’s... so funny…” Hiki asked annoyed, panting as he glared at him.  
“Well, first of all, that was the first time I heard you cuss like this, and it was really cute. Second of all, that was kinda funny… like slapstick porn. And also, you’re very bad at keeping your voice down, Hikkun.” Howl leaned over, closer to Hiki. “Maybe I should lend you a hand,” he said in a seductive tone while the hand that was teasing Hiki's nipples a moment ago slid upwards to his collar, making its way out of the sweater to cover his mouth.  
“Hm?!”  
“This way we'll make sure your voice won't come out…” Howl explained and slowly started moving his hips.  
“Ungh!” Hiki jolted. Howl kept thrusting into him and while his movements became more rhythmic and vigorous, Hiki had a hard time standing up. His hips and legs felt like they were melting and his knees felt weak. His hands were still placed on the wall, instinctively trying to grasp onto something, even though he knew that there was no way he could fall down since Howl was holding him.  
“Mhh… Ugh… Fuu…!” Hiki moaned into Howl's hand as his movements became even faster; Hiki felt like he was about to lose it.   
“Hikkun, you're so cute and so sexy, it feels so good inside you,” Howl grunted. He could feel his panting lover’s hot breath on his hand. Hiki tried so hard to be silent, that Howl wanted to tease him a bit more and made his thrusts more shallow.   
"HMM! Haa…"   
"You like it when I rub your entrance like this, right…?" Then he gently pushed his index and middle finger inside Hiki’s mouth and Hiki instantly started licking and sucking on them eagerly.  
“Ngh…"  
“Hikkun… Listen… to the lewd sounds you’re making,” Howl moaned, and of course, Hiki became conscious of the noises that echoed in the big bathroom. The wet and squishy sounds, the slapping from Howl’s hard, deep thrusts, the sounds from him sucking on Howl’s fingers, his half-suppressed moans and Howl’s aroused groans. Hiki shuddered and Howl moved his hips faster again.  
“Sho... good… haa…” Hiki mumbled breathlessly. “Mmh…”  
“You’re speaking with your mouth full again, Hikkun…” Howl grinned amusedly.  
“Fowwy… ah! Ngh… Howl, I’m… gonna...”  
“Me too… You're clamping down on me, I can't hold back anymore…”  
“Infide me… iff ogay..! Haa!”  
“Together…”  
Hiki nodded and Howl thrust into him faster and harder than before, they both tensed up and right before they reached their peak, Howl bit into Hiki’s exposed flushed neck. Hiki immediately climaxed which caused him to accidentally bite down on Howl’s fingers as his twitching dick spurted a load of his semen on the wall, and a few thrusts later Howl jolted and came inside him.  
“Kh… Ah…” he grunted. His movements slowed down and eventually stopped. As he slowly pulled out, Hiki felt as if all strength had left his body and he slumped down onto the floor, leaning against the wall while huffing weakly.  
“Hikkun, are you okay?” Howl knelt down and placed a hand on his exhausted lover’s back.  
“I’m fine. More than fine… that was… amazing…” he panted.  
“Oh, watch out, your cum is dripping down the wall.”  
“Wah!” Hiki jerked away from the wall and Howl couldn’t help but laugh out loud.  
“Tch.” He blushed. “Stop laughing and help me up, will you.”  
Howl did so and supported him. “Are you okay? Can you stand on your own?”  
“Yeah. Th-That was… amazing…”  
“Right?” Howl grinned. “Would you like to take a bath?”  
“No, I’ll just take a quick shower. We should have dinner soon, I’m starving!”  
“I’ll leave then… Except you want me to help clean you out...”  
“Nonono! Get out, now! You’ve done enough already.” He playfully pushed Howl away.  
“Okay,” he grinned and left.  
Hiki sighed loudly and buried his face in his hands. “Oh my…” he blushed intensely. He was so happy. Howl didn’t hate his new haircut at all. It was quite the opposite. He giggled and turned on the shower.

After Hiki was done, he walked over to the living room, wearing his comfortable joggers, a shirt and a towel on his shoulders. Howl was sitting on the sofa in front of his laptop.  
“Are you working?"  
“Hm? Oh yeah, I needed to finish something. How do you feel?”  
“I feel refreshed...” He slumped down next to Howl and suddenly jolted in pain. "Ouch!"   
Howl turned to him, worried. “Oh crap, I'm sorry, Hikkun… We didn’t use lube, it's probably pretty irritated back there. Are you okay?”  
“It's fine~... How are your fingers?” Hiki took Howl’s hand and looked at the bite marks he had left. “I'm sorry.” He placed gentle kisses on both fingers.  
“It's okay, it was a reflex because I bit your neck. But you're so sexy, I couldn't hold back. I want to eat you up!” Howl playfully pushed Hiki down, pinning his wrists down on the sofa and leaned over him, his face buried in his lover’s neck, gowling while he was acting as if he would eat him.  
“Waaah, stop it! No way, you can’t eat me! Didn’t we want to have Italian for dinner?!” He laughed loudly and tried to push him away to save himself. “Oh wait, wait! Howl, stop it for a second!”  
“What is it, I’m feasting!”  
“Now that I think of it, where’s Sophie?”  
“Sophie? Oh, she's…”  
Suddenly, the sound of a slamming door drew their attention.   
“I’M BAAACK!” Sophie belted.  
“Speaking of the devil…” Howl mumbled as he got off of Hiki and sat back down.  
“Sophie?” Hiki looked at her surprised as she walked into the living room, packed with bags that looked like as if she had robbed a restaurant, aiming for the dinner table. “Where have you been…? Didn't you want to call your friend?”  
“Yeah, but she didn't pick up the phone, so I decided to go for a walk, and when I wanted to tell you, I ran into Howl who had just gotten home, so I told him instead and left."  
Hiki glared at Howl as if he was saying “You meanie, you tricked me!" and Howl replied with a guilty "Sorry, but you were just too cute" smile.   
"Anyhow, since I was out already, I decided to get dinner, so let's dig in, I'm super hungry," Sophie smiled.   
"Great, me too! I’ll help you, Sophie,” Hiki got up and brought plates and silverware from the kitchen, while Howl shut down his laptop. Then they gathered at the big table.  
“Ngh!” Hiki jolted again as he sat down.  
“Ouch! Hey Sophie,” Howl suddenly yelled at his sister who had smacked him on the back of his head. "The heck was that for…?"   
“You deserve it, and you know it," she replied as she glared at him knowingly. “Mochi, I brought you Calzone, Howl you have Pepperoni and I got myself some Pasta.”  
“Ah Sophie, you remembered, thank you," Hiki said happily.   
“Of course, we just talked about Italian food this morning. Here…” She handed him his steaming hot Calzone.  
“Wow Soph, this Pizza is amazing, where'd you get it?”  
“It's a small restaurant, you can easily overlook, but it has awesome reviews. The Chef is from Italy,” Sophie explained.  
“You can absolutely tell. It tastes exactly like the pizza you get there," Howl swooned and took another big bite.  
“You have been to Italy before,” Hiki asked surprised.  
“Sophie and I traveled there before we moved back to Japan. We wanted to go on a little trip somewhere in Europe, and we chose Italy as our destination. We went for three weeks, it was great! The food was amazing, and no matter where we went, the people were hearty and kind,” Howl remembered.  
“Woow… I have never left Japan. I would love to travel…”  
“Where would you like to go, Mochi?”  
“My number one destination would be Great Britain. I mean… I'd love to see the place where you lived for so long… And judging from the pictures I saw online, it looks super interesting.“   
“I'll take you there one day, Hikkun. I promise. Currently going on a long trip is impossible, Castle Tech is flourishing and needs a lot of attention, but in one or two years, it’ll be no problem.” Howl smiled at him.  
“Really? Oh, that would be awesome!” Hiki glowed in excitement.  
“Maybe you can go there for your honeymoon,” Sophie suggested grinning.   
“Oi Sophie, easy there,” Howl admonished her.   
“What? You’re so going to get married, I have no doubt about that.”  
“It’s not legal here in Japan, Sophie,” Hiki said. “So even if we wanted to…” He blushed.   
“Well Hikkun, I could always add you to my family registry. I’ve read that it’s common for same-sex couples here to do so.”  
“It also gives you guys more rights in case something happens to one of you. Like for instance, if one of you gets into an accident and gets hospitalized, you might not be allowed to visit if they’re unconscious. Ever thought about that?”   
“No… I’ve never thought about things like that, but…” Hiki looked down, his heart became heavy. He didn’t even want to think about it. He knew Sophie was right, but…  
“Hikkun's father would straight up kill me if I just added him to my Koseki without his consent. And getting that… Is probably impossible.” Howl looked at his sad lover. “It’s okay, Hikkun. I mean what are the odds… And things are perfect the way they are now. No need to change anything. We already live like a married couple, anyway.”   
Hiki looked up and into Howl’s smiling face. He smiled back and replied: “You’re right.”   
“Awww, you guys are too cute!” Sophie squealed.  
“Shut up. Let’s change the topic now.” Howl barked at her. “What have you two been doing today while I was at work?”  
“Well… We went to all the hair salons at the mall to find the best one, got Mochi's haircut, as you know, then we went shopping, ate unhealthy stuff and in the end we watched a movie,” Sophie listed.  
“What movie did you watch?” Howl asked warily.  
“It’s called ‘No escape from the dark’. It's super gory, we had a blast!” Sophie answered innocently.  
“Dammit, Sophie! Why did you have to drag him to a horror movie?” Howl scolded her.  
“Howl, she didn’t drag me, I was okay with it!” Hiki defended her.  
“You're going to have nightmares, Hikkun. You couldn’t even handle that one thriller we watched a while ago, remember? You got nightmares and started fighting off the bad guys in your sleep. And when I tried to wake you up, you punched me in the face.”  
“Th-That was by accident! And I apologized multiple times for making your nose bleed!” Hiki flushed and Sophie burst out in laughter. She laughed so hard that she started tearing up.  
“Shut up, Sophie. But Hikkun, I think it might be better to put up a barrier between us tonight. Or maybe I should wear protective gear. Better safe than sorry...” Howl teased him.  
“Idiot...” Hiki pouted, trying to suppress a smile.  
After they finished eating, they decided to go straight to bed, since they were pretty groggy after their busy day. Howl and Hiki were standing next to each other at the bathroom sink during their bedtime routine when Hiki noticed that his lover kept staring at him.  
“Is there something on my face?” he wondered and examined himself in the mirror.  
“No, sorry for staring, but… you look so cute with your new haircut. I can’t help it.”  
Hiki blushed slightly. “I’m glad you like it, I was worried about that.”  
“Why?”  
“Well, because it’s so different from what I looked like when you fell in love with me. I thought you might prefer the old haircut…”  
“I didn’t fall in love with your looks, Hikkun. I fell in love with your personality. I mean, of course, I think you’re very cute, attractive and super sexy, but…”  
“Howl, stop it,” Hiki blushed embarrassed.  
“What I’m trying to say is, your appearance is a plus, but it doesn’t really matter. I love you because you’re you, not because of the way you look.”  
Hiki looked at him for a moment and then he embraced Howl tightly, who caressed his lover’s head.   
“Let’s go to bed, Hikkun.”  
Hiki nodded and let go of him. Howl took his hand and they went to bed, snuggling against each other.   
“Oh, by the way,” Howl suddenly said, “I’m glad that you had a good time with my sister.”  
“She’s awesome and we get along really well.”  
“See, I told you.”  
“Yeah, you were right, and I’m happy about it,” he smiled.  
“Hikkun…”  
“Hm?”  
“Let’s do something together tomorrow, just the two of us. I miss being with you.”  
“But what about Sophie?”  
“She said earlier that she wants to meet up with some old friends from Uni tomorrow.”  
“Okay, sounds good.” Hiki felt a little bad for being happy about having some alone time with Howl. He really loved Sophie, but they didn’t have much time together during the week, so he was always looking forward to his Howl-time on the weekends.  
“How about we go ice skating? Have you ever done that before?”  
Hiki slightly shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”  
“I guess that’s another first of yours I’m going to take then.” Howl smiled and kissed Hiki on his head.  
“You can have ‘em all…” his sleepy lover mumbled as he drifted off to sleep.  
“Goodnight, Hikkun. I love you.”  
“G’night, Howl... I love you so so much.”

It was a very restless night for Hiki. Just as Howl had predicted, he was plagued by terrible nightmares. Around three in the morning Howl woke up due a sudden sharp pain in his stomach. “Ugh! Hikkun… Did you just kick me?” he moaned. But Hiki didn't respond. Howl turned on the lamp on his nightstand and saw his lover moving around restlessly with a distressed expression. He sighed. “I love you more than anything in this world, but if you watch another scary movie in the future, I'll…” He sighed again and woke him up.   
“Hikkun… hey…”  
“Howl? What… What’s wrong? Why are you awake? What time is it?” he asked sleepily.  
“It’s three in the morning. You kicked me in the guts, that’s why I’m awake.”  
Hiki raised his head, his eyes opened wide in shock. “I'm so sorry, Howl!”  
“It's okay. But promise me, no more horror movies.”  
“I promise, I promise!”  
“Okay, now come here. I’ll protect you,” he said as he opened his arms as a sign for Hiki to move closer to him. He scooted over and Howl hugged him tightly.   
“Nothing and no one can harm you, as long as I’m here, Hikkun.”  
Hiki nodded smiling, and his nightmares were gone for the rest of the night.  
  


Hiki, Howl, and Sophie had breakfast together and afterwards, Sophie left to meet her friends while Hiki and Howl headed to the Tokyo Midtown Ice Rink.   
“Hikkun, are you sure you still want to do this? You must be tired after your restless night. We can also go back home and play ‘the floor is lava and we’re trapped on sofa island’...” Howl suggested as they got out of the car.   
Hiki giggled. He loved Howl’s dry humor. “No, it’s okay, I was really looking forward to this. But I just hope my butt will survive this,” he grinned.   
“Oh, your butt can put up with a lot...” Howl smirked.  
“Pervert,” Hiki replied.  
They got their rental skates and Howl helped Hiki putting them on. “They need to be tight, so you will be steady on your feet.” Hiki still had a hard time walking, so Howl supported his lover on their way to the rink.   
“I’m so bad at this already and we’re not even on the ice yet…” he noticed, worried.  
“It’s fine, be patient and give yourself some time. Let’s see if I still have my skating mojo…”   
Hiki stood at the rink entrance as Howl stepped on the ice and, to Hiki's surprise, began sliding around gracefully.   
“Whoa, Howl! You're so good at this!” Hiki exclaimed as he stared at him in awe.   
“When we were little, Sophie and I would go ice skating a lot during the winter, so I became quite good at it, I guess…” Howl was whirling effortlessly around the ice; sliding backwards and doing tricks… _ He looks so cool _ , Hiki thought, his heart beating faster. Howl turned and skated back to Hiki, and offered his hands to his insecure lover. Hiki hesitated for a moment, but Howl’s bright smile was all it took to convince him. He took his hands and carefully stepped on the ice.   
“Don't let go of me, Howl,” he begged.   
“Never.” Howl smiled and kissed Hiki’s hand. He dragged him along, slowly and carefully. “Wah, it’s more slippery than I thought!”   
“It’s okay, I’m here. And we’re still close to the side rails, so if you feel like you’re getting too shaky, just hold on to them.”  
“No, it’s fine. Holding on to you is better,” Hiki smiled.   
They stayed close to the side rails until Hiki's movements became steadier and he became more confident.   
“See, you're getting the hang of it! You're a quick learner, I’m proud of you,” Howl cheered him on. “Wanna try doing it by yourself?”   
“Yes!” Hiki nodded eagerly and let go of Howl’s hands. He was still a bit scared of falling, but to his surprise, he was doing very well. He was gliding on the ice, Howl right next to him and they moved closer to the center of the rink.   
“H-Howl…”   
“What is it, Hikkun?”   
“Can you hold my hand, please…?” he asked shyly.  
“You're not going to fall, you're doing great.”  
“No, it's not because of that… I just want to hold your hand…” he mumbled. Howl smiled at him fondly.   
“Are you sure it’s okay? We’re in a public place after all.”   
Hiki nodded. “I don’t care.”   
Howl took his hand, their fingers entwined. Although it had become very crowded on the ice, Hiki didn't mind if anyone saw them holding hands. He was too happy to be on a romantic date with his boyfriend and he wanted to fully enjoy it.   
“Are you having fun, Hikkun?” Howl asked after a few laps.  
“Yes, it’s great! But to be honest, I could use a little break…”  
“Right, holding your balance must be tiring. Let’s take a break.”  
“No, you can stay! I'll just slide over to the exit and watch you from the side rails for a while.”  
“You sure? The exit is all the way over there, it’s pretty far. I can escort you…”   
“It’s okay, I’ve gotten pretty good at this,” he smiled broadly and let go of Howl's hand. “See you in a bit.” He turned around and slowly moved away, making his way through the moving crowd. He could’ve finished the lap with Howl so he wouldn’t have had to skate across the whole rink to get to the exit, but it was a really big rink and had gotten pretty tired from all the tension in his muscles. _ I should probably start going to the Gym or something _ , he thought while trying not to collide with another skater. He still had trouble with braking, so he tried not to go too fast. Suddenly, he had to pick up the pace to get out of someone’s way, but he couldn’t stop and promptly crashed into someone. It was a butch looking guy who was standing around with his friends, and Hiki reflexively held onto him so he wouldn’t fall.   
“Wah! I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he shouted while trying to regain his balance.   
“What the hell!” the guy barked.  
“Isn’t that one of the fags we saw holding hands earlier?” one of his friends asked loudly. “Oi, Tenshi, looks like you have a new boyfriend,” he teased him and the others burst out in laughter, which made the man really angry.   
“Shut up! Hey you stupid fag, fuck off!”   
Just as Hiki had become steady again and wanted to let go of him, that guy pushed him hard, he slipped and fell backwards onto the ice. “Ugh…! Ow...”  
“You disgusting little shit, don’t fucking touch me! I don’t want to catch a disease,” he yelled while brushing off his clothes, and his friends were laughing in the background like a bunch of hyenas. Other people around them started looking and whispering, which made the shy Hiki feel extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed.  
“I’m not disgusting. People like you are,” Hiki mumbled, still sitting on the ice, holding his left arm because it hurt.  
“What did you just say?! I’m gonna beat the shit out of y-”  
“HEY!” Howl suddenly appeared. “What the hell is going on here?!” He knelt down to look after his lover. “Hikkun, are you okay? What happened? Hey you, what did you do to him?” He wanted to get up and go after that guy, but Hiki held him back.   
“It was my fault, I crashed into him.”  
“Yeah, that’s right! It was his fault! Maybe teach your little bitch how to behave and not to jump random straight men.”  
“You little bastard! I should teach you a lesson…!!” Again, Howl wanted to get up but Hiki held tightly onto his coat to stop him.  
“Hahaha, what are you gonna do, four eyes? Gay me to death?” The group of hooligans burst out in laughter again.   
“Tch! Hikkun, let me go, this asshole deserves a good beating!”  
“Please don’t, they’re not worth it. Can you just help me get up?” Hiki looked at him pleading.  
“Sure, Hikkun.” Howl turned to Hiki and supported him, paying no further attention to the hyenas and their leader.  
“Ngh… ugh…” he moaned while getting up.   
“Are you injured?” Howl asked worried as the bullies moved away from them while cursing and insulting them repeatedly. But Howl was too focused on Hiki to notice their taunts.  
“I’m not sure…” Hiki answered, trying to ignore them too.  
“Where does it hurt?”  
“My arm hurts. And my back.”  
“Does this hurt?” he asked as he touched Hiki's left arm.   
“Ngh!” He jolted. “A little bit… It’s my wrist...”  
“It’s starting to swell… Let's get you to the hospital.” They left the rink, Howl helped Hiki change his shoes, and then they headed to the nearest emergency room. Hiki sat in the passenger seat, slightly nervous at Howl’s erratic driving. He didn’t want him to get a ticket for something as minor as a hurt arm. “Howl, please slow down, it’s not like I’m bleeding or anything.” But Howl stoically stared at the road, not answering to Hiki’s request. 

When they arrived at the clinic, they, fortunately, didn’t have to wait for long before being called into the examination room. Howl treated Hiki very gently, but Hiki knew that he was still very angry at those guys. He could feel that Howl was boiling with rage internally.   
He got examined and they took x-rays of his arm and back. The diagnosis was a bruised wrist and tailbone. Hiki had to wear a cast for two weeks, and the doctor told him to rest, so his tailbone could heal. He prescribed Hiki pain medication and they left, very relieved that nothing was broken. By the time they got home, Howl had calmed down.   
Hiki was limping a little because his back really hurt.   
“Hikkun, go lay down on the sofa, I’ll get you an ice pack for your wrist. I’m gonna head to the pharmacy soon and get your painkillers. Or, do you want to go to bed instead? It’s more comfortable...”  
“Howl, I’m fine, really.” Hiki giggled and walked over to the sofa after Howl helped him take off his shoes and coat. He sat down slowly and carefully, trying his hardest not to make pained noises so Howl wouldn’t worry even more. He sighed, grabbed a pillow and lay down sideways. Howl came back from the kitchen, sat down next to his legs, gently took Hiki’s arm and placed it on his lap. He looked at the cast and carefully caressed his lover’s fingers.  
“They’re swollen too… I’m glad it’s nothing major, but your hand doesn’t look good. It must hurt a lot,” he said with a sad voice and put the ice bag on Hiki’s cast.   
“It’s fine. It’s only throbbing a little,” Hiki answered. “Hikkun... don't let what that idiot said get to you, okay? He's just a pathetic-”   
“Don’t worry,” Hiki interrupted him. “At first I was shocked, I didn’t expect him to lose it like that just because we’re in a gay relationship. That’s so stupid. I felt uncomfortable because everyone kept staring, but that’s a given, I guess. But you said to me once, that just because there are people who don’t like it, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong or something to be ashamed of. So screw them for being stupid and narrow-minded. What annoys me more is that we had to end our date early, it was so much fun. Can we go again, please?”  
Howl, slightly taken aback by his lover’s words, smiled.   
“Of course, Hikkun,” he replied in a gentle tone. He was relieved that Hiki was okay; mentally at least. And he was happy that Hiki had become more self-confident. Then, a sudden loud growling noise coming from Hiki’s stomach interrupted his train of thoughts.  
“Ah, sorry,” he giggled.   
“Wow, that was loud, just how hungry are you?” Howl chuckled. “Alright, what do you want to eat? I will cook anything you want.”   
“But Howl, we wanted to go out before we drop Sophie off at the airport. It’s our last dinner together...”   
“I know, but you should rest. Sophie will be okay with eating here and I’ll drive her to the airport afterwards.”  
“But… I want to go… please...” Hiki looked at him with puppy eyes.   
“Hikkun, you broke your butt and I need it, so you have to rest to recover fast.”  
“I didn’t break my butt!” Hiki giggled. “Yeah, it hurts a little, but the doctor gave me painkillers earlier, so it’s fine. Please Howl, I really, really want to go~”  
“Ah, jeez... Alright, alright. I know that I tend to dote on you, sorry. You’re not a kid.”   
“You don’t dote on me, you care because you love me,” he smiled. “I know you’re worried, but I’m okay, I swear,” Hiki said with a calm voice.   
Howl sighed heavily and leaned over to kiss him. “I hate when you’re not feeling well. I want you to be happy and healthy. Always.” Howl’s warm hand slipped underneath Hiki’s sweater and his fingertips slowly slid up his spine. Hiki shivered. “Too bad that we can’t do it until your butt has healed...” Howl whispered into his ear. Hiki’s heart throbbed. He hadn’t even thought about that.   
“Mh… B-But…”  
“We can’t go all the way, but we can do other things… I will make you feel good all the time once my sister is gone.” He nibbled on Hiki’s earlobe and his hand slowly moved downwards. Hiki’s heart started beating faster as Howl placed his hot lips on his. He opened his mouth and they indulged in a passionate deep kiss when suddenly the front door opened.  
“I’m back!” Sophie’s loud voice pulled them back to reality and ended their steamy encounter.   
“Oh, am I interrupting something here?” she asked with a cheeky grin when she entered the living room. “Want me to go to my room?” She grinned, but as she stepped closer, she noticed Hiki’s arm. “Huh? Mochi, is that a cast? What happened?”  
“Yeah, I had a little accident at the ice rink… I fell. It's not as bad as it looks,” Hiki played it down.   
“Some asshole pushed him, actually. His wrist and butt are bruised,” Howl explained.   
“It’s not my butt, it’s my tailbone!” He sighed. “It was my fault. I couldn’t break and crashed into him, then he pushed me away… Howl wasn’t there, so he didn’t witness the whole scene.”  
“I saw enough. There was no need for his behavior. Not like you attacked him, or even did it on purpose.”   
“What a dick! Does it hurt?” Sophie asked, worried, as she sat down on the chair across the sofa.   
“It's fine, it doesn't hurt.” Hiki smiled.   
“Liar,” Howl mumbled. “I’ll go and prepare a little snack. We still have three hours before our reservation and you’re hungry. When you’re done eating, you’re gonna rest. No objections.”   
“Mochi, you better listen to nurse Howl. He can be very strict, but he's the best caregiver ever,” Sophie nodded knowingly.   
“I know. Thank you, nurse Howl,” he grinned at his lover. Howl clicked his tongue and went to the kitchen to make some sandwiches. When he came back to the living room with the plate, Sophie gestured him to be quiet and pointed at Hiki, who had fallen asleep. “Watching him nodding off was like watching one of those kitten videos on the internet. He tried so hard not to fall asleep, but he lost that fight,” she giggled. Howl put down the plate and took a blanket to cover him. He gently brushed a strand of hair out of Hiki’s face and sat down. Sophie watched Howl with a loving smile on her face.   
“It’s nice to see you like this, it really warms my heart.”  
“Shut up.”  
“No, seriously. I would’ve never thought that you’d find someone you love and care about this much. To be honest, at first I was surprised when you told me that you had fallen in love with another man, but I get it now.”  
“He’s special,” Howl said with a gentle voice as he looked at his lover.  
“He sure is,” Sophie smiled.  
“...I hate that he has to experience stuff like this.”  
“What do you mean?”   
“Those jerks at the rink… they called him a fag and other things. I think I only realized it now how much of a burden our relationship can be for him. He was humiliated and got hurt, and it might happen again…” Howl gritted his teeth. _ Was I too naive to think that I could protect him from things like that, _ he thought.  
“I don’t think your relationship puts a burden on him in any way. I think he’s a tough little cookie. When you were in the kitchen, he told me how much fun he had today. His eyes were all sparkly, he was so happy. That’s what he’s focusing on and you should too. And don’t underestimate him, brother, I don’t think he’s someone who'd break that easily.” She smiled.   
“I haven’t told you about it yet, but he’s been through a lot in the past. I don’t want to go into details, but when he told me about how he was raised and about the things that happened to him, I was utterly shocked. I’m amazed that he can still be such a positive and loving person... I don’t want him to ever get hurt again.”   
“You know that’s impossible.”   
“I know, I’m not stupid. But... I can try.”   
“Sure. But everyone gets hurt sooner or later, that’s life. Just be there for him when it happens, that’s all he needs and I’m certain that he will do the same for you. You can’t protect him from all the bad things, but you can help him cope with them.”   
“Yeah, you’re right… Thank you, Soph.” Howl looked at the peacefully sleeping Hiki and sighed. Dwelling over such things was useless, he realized that now.   
“Alright, I’ll retreat to my room. There’s this book I just started and I can’t wait to find out who the killer is. See you later.” Sophie got up, patted Howl on the shoulder and left to give him some space. Howl decided to get his laptop to get some work done, and around two hours later Hiki opened his eyes.   
“Mh… Howl? Did I fall asleep?”  
“Yes, you did. How do you feel?” He turned to Hiki and caressed his face.  
“Better, actually.” He said, but as he sat up, he noticed his bruised back again. “Ngh…”  
“You sure about that?”  
“I’m fine, really,” Hiki smiled.   
“Okay, let's get ready then. I'm gonna go and tell Sophie.” Howl got up. “Need me to help you with anything?”  
“Nope, thank you. I'm excited, but also sad because Sophie will leave later tonight…” Hiki said as he slowly got up as well.  
“Yeah, I'm going to miss her too. But there's still Skype and all that, so you can stay in touch with her. And she'll visit us again, so...”  
“That's true,” Hiki smiled.  
“Get ready, Hikkun, the reservation is in one hour and we have to drive there too.”  
“Yeees!” He waddled over to the bedroom and got dressed. It took some effort since his muscles were sore, but he managed. _ I really need to exercise more, _ he thought.   
The three of them left and had a great night at the restaurant. They laughed and talked, and afterwards, they took Sophie to the airport. Before she left them to check in, she turned to Hiki and said: “Mochi, it was such a pleasure to meet you. I had so much fun, thank you. I’m truly blessed to call you family from now on, my brother couldn’t have found a better someone to be with,” she smiled wholeheartedly. Hiki, moved by her words, teared up and hugged her and she returned his loving gesture.   
“Sophie, I’m gonna miss you…” Hiki sniffled.  
“Me too,” she said out loud and then whispered: “Take good care of my idiot brother for me, okay? He needs you.” She had a hard time holding back her tears.   
Hiki nodded, let go of her and rummaged around in his pocket, looking for a tissue. Howl put his arm around his lover’s shoulder.   
“Hey Soph, are you crying? What a rare sight. Don’t wait too long for your next visit, okay?”   
“Shut up, idiot. I’m not crying,” she replied, clearly struggling with her emotions. She pinched Hiki’s cheeks one last time, quickly grabbed her bag and dashed away, so they wouldn’t see that she lost her inner fight and teared up after all.   
Howl chuckled. “Come on, Hikkun. Let’s head home and go to bed, it’s pretty late.”  
Hiki nodded and they walked back to the car.   
“Family…” Hiki mumbled while staring out of the window on their way home, Sophie's words sounding in his head. It was snowing a little, the streets were as crowded as always, even though it was almost midnight on a Sunday, and a jazz song was silently playing on the radio. Howl placed his hand on Hiki’s thigh.   
“You miss your family, don’t you?”   
“Hm? Oh… Well, I haven’t seen them since I moved out. With the renovations, Uni, work… there was no time to go to Machida. Too bad Hacchan caught a cold and wasn’t able to spend Christmas with us. I mean, we Skype all the time, but I really miss those two a lot…” Hiki answered.   
“Do you sometimes feel lonely when you're here?”   
“Huh?” He looked at Howl in surprise. “No, not at all!” His hand slipped underneath Howl's and pressed it.  
“But you haven't made any friends here so far, right?”   
“Friends… Not really. It’s rare for me to let people get that close. But there are people at Uni and work that I get along with well. And I have you, so how could I feel lonely? I just miss Hacchan and Kaito, that’s all.”  
Howl lifted Hiki's hand and kissed it. They drove home and went to sleep. 

The next day, everything went as usual. Hiki got up, prepared breakfast and Howl’s bento, they ate, and Howl left for work. But Hiki was still on vacation, so he stayed home. Howl had told him to rest, but he hadn’t done any chores in days, and since he felt a little better, Hiki wanted to at least do the bare necessities. The doctor had told him that, depending on the power of the impact on the ice, his tailbone and wrist would hurt for weeks or only days. He had been vague about it, but the painkillers did their deed and Hiki was able to move around better. He did the laundry, changed the sheets in the guest room, did the dishes, cleaned the bathrooms and the kitchen, dusted, vacuumed and mopped the floors. Even though he had to wear the cast, the cleaning went smoothly and his injuries weren’t much of a hindrance. “Oops… I cleaned everything after all…” Hiki said to himself when he was done. “Howl will kill me. Hmm… It’s only 5, I have two hours 'till he gets home. Guess I’m gonna go take a nap.” He lay down on the sofa, wrapped himself in a blanket and feeling groggy from his housework, he immediately fell asleep.   
“Hikkun… Hey, wake up.”  
Hiki felt something brushing against his cheek and opened his eyes. “Mhh… Howl? You’re early…” He rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up. Howl was kneeling in front of the sofa.   
“I’m not, it’s almost 8. I’m actually late. There was something I had to d-”  
“EIGHT? B-But… Dang it, I didn’t even cook! I’ll get the food ready, give me half an hour!” He tried to get up, but Howl gently held him down. “It’s okay, calm down. You don’t have to be so diligent. I appreciate your hard work, but there’s no need to have the food ready as soon as I come home from work. Also, you cleaned the whole condo, didn’t you? I noticed when I came home and got changed. Hikkun, you’re supposed to rest,” Howl scolded him.   
“I know, it just… kinda happened…” he grinned guiltily.  
“You’re holding your wrist. It hurts, right? You clearly overdid it.” Howl got up and sat down on the coffee table across from Hiki. He hadn’t even noticed, but Howl was right.   
“I’m really glad I made that decision. You need a break.”  
“What decision?” Hiki asked. Howl brushed a strand of hair behind Hiki’s ear and smiled.   
“The reason why I’m late is that I called your father. We’re going to visit your family for the New Year’s holidays. We’re going to leave Tokyo on January 1st, and we’ll stay in Machida for three days. What do you say?”   
Hiki looked at him with his mouth open. “Are you serious?!”  
“Yes. We’re going to sleep in on the 1st, because of the New Year’s party at the office the night before, but then we’ll leave for Machida. The office will be closed for nenmatsu nenshi* anyway, so we can go on a little trip and you can see Hajime and Kaito. I would have preferred to invite them to Tokyo, but when I called Hajime, he told me that because of the New Year’s celebrations, your father wouldn’t agree to that. So I called him to ask if it’s okay for us to go there, and he said yes.”  
Hiki's smile was so wide, he felt like his face was going to break. He was too happy for words, so he just jumped on Howl and flung his arms around his neck. “I’m so happy, thank you!”  
Howl chuckled and returned his lover’s embrace. He knew that Hiki needed to see his brother and his childhood friend. It had been months since the last time they had seen each other in person, but Howl was very worried about one factor: Hiki’s mother.


	8. New Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: Zaizu are those legless chairs where you sit on the floor but not really.

A couple of weeks before Christmas, Howl had started organizing his annual big New Year's Eve party at the office. He held it every year, and what started as a small get together for the employees without families, soon became a big party for everyone, even if they had kids. It was a lot of additional work, but Howl always had a lot of fun. And finally, the big day had come. It was December 31st.  
“Is there anything you need me to help you with?” Hiki asked after they had lunch, while cleaning up the table.   
“No, it’s fine, Hikkun. I just have to coordinate the caterers later. I hire the same company every year, but the owner changed and they have new staff, so I have to give them instructions." He paused and looked at his phone, frowning. "Alright, I’ll head down to the office again, I just got an email from the decorator. Apparently, they brought the wrong decorations.” He got up and kissed Hiki goodbye.   
”Let me know if you need anything, okay?!” he yelled after Howl, who nodded absent-minded while typing on his phone as he left. Hiki sighed. He finished cleaning up and went to take a hot bath. He got undressed and put a plastic bag on his cast. After soaking in the tub for a while, he went to the dressing room, picked out his clothes for the party and placed them neatly on the bed. While he tried to decide if he should wear a necktie or not, he suddenly heard Howl’s voice calling out for him.   
“Hikkun?! Where are you?”  
_ Howl is back? Just how long was my bath _ , he thought. “I’m here! I just finished my ba-”  
“Ah, there you are!” Howl entered their bedroom, rushed over to Hiki and hugged him tightly.  
“Wah, Howl! Wait, I’m still in my bathrobe, you’ll get wet!”  
“It’s fine. Haa… Just what I needed…”  
“Huh? You needed wet clothes? You’re so weird sometimes...”  
“No, you. I needed you to recharge my batteries before the party.” He tightened his embrace.   
"Oh…" Hiki returned his gesture and hugged him back. “There, there. Only a few more hours and you can rest,” he tried to comfort his stressed lover.  
“Jeez, Hikkun… You smell so yummy. I would love to throw you onto the bed and ravage you to relieve some stress, but I don’t have the time and you’re still injured. What a pity.”  
“Lecher,” Hiki replied briefly.   
“It's your fault that I'm like that.” He looked down at Hiki and right when the latter opened his mouth to protest, Howl kissed him and grinned when they parted.  
“Idiot,” Hiki pouted, blushing.   
“I’m glad we’ll leave tomorrow. I need a break and a lot of Hikkun-time. Organizing this party all by myself always takes a toll on me. But luckily everything is done now and the party can start in an hour.”  
“You worked hard, you deserve a break. I would’ve helped you, you know?”  
“I know, Hikkun, but this party is like a thank you to my employees from me personally. Sure, they get their bonuses, but that’s a company thing. This party is a personal gesture, just like the cookies you made for them on Christmas. They’re good people and I want them to know that they’re appreciated. That’s why it’s important to me that I do everything by myself.”   
“I see. Yeah, I understand.”  
“Mmh… I should go and take a shower now… But you just smell sooo good…” Howl buried his face in Hiki’s neck and sniffed him.   
“Are you going to start purring now?” Hiki teased him. “Wah!” He jolted as Howl suddenly bit his neck.   
“Wait, no no no no no! I know where this is leading and you just said it yourself, there’s no time,” Hiki intervened and pushed Howl away. “Go take a shower and get dressed. I’m gonna get dressed too and wait for you in the living room,” he declared and pointed at the bathroom. "Go."  
“Hikkun, you’re so much stronger than me, I admire you,” Howl sighed as he walked away.   
“If only you knew,” Hiki mumbled as he went over to their walk-in closet, trying to calm down, cursing Howl for always going for his weak spots. He got dressed in dark grey pants, a light pastel pink colored shirt and a grey sleeveless v-neck sweater. He was sitting in the living room, reading a novel that was part of a Uni assignment, when Howl walked in. He was wearing a dark blue suit with a black vest, a light blue shirt and a dark blue tie with tiny black Christmas trees on it. Hiki closed his book and looked at his sparkling lover. “Uwah, Howl… you look so handsome…” He got up and walked over to him. “Your tie is a bit askew,” he noticed and gently fixed it. Then he looked up to Howl and smiled. “There you go. Now you’re perfect.”   
Howl leaned over and kissed him. “You look very handsome too, Hikkun. Now let’s go down to the office and have a great time,” he replied.   
“Oh, Howl, I just realized, it’s our first New Year's Eve together,” Hiki mentioned as they put on their shoes. “…and my first party in general, I’ve never been to one before. I mean, aside from big family gatherings when I was little.”  
“Really? Alright, I’ll do my best to make it the best first party ever for you,” Howl smiled at Hiki.   
“So far you're very good at giving me the best first times,” Hiki winked and took Howl’s hand as they left their condo and walked to the elevator.   
“Hikkun, it’s going to be crowded. Some of my employees will bring their partners and kids… and there will be workers you haven't met before. Are you going to be okay with that?” he asked as they stepped into the lift. Hiki hadn't thought about that before. Usually, being surrounded by too many people at once was very intimidating and stressful, especially if they were strangers. But when Howl was with him, he always managed to handle it better.   
“Hikkun… your hand is getting sweaty…”  
“Ah, sorry!” He tried to withdraw his hand, but Howl tightened his grip.   
“It’s okay.” He leaned over, kissed Hiki on the lips, and smiled. “Don’t worry, I'm here.”   
Hiki instantly felt better. He pressed Howl’s hand and smiled at him fondly.   
"I know, that's why it's okay. I love you."  
"I love you too. And if you feel uncomfortable and need a timeout, you can retreat to my office. No one's going to be there."   
Hiki nodded. He was so grateful that Howl understood and didn't tell him to 'man up' and 'don't be such a wuss', or something like that. Something his father would have said.   
When the elevator door opened they got a warm welcome. Many of Howl’s employees were there already. It was noisy and crowded and pop music was playing in the background. Everyone was happy to see Howl and they greeted him affectionately as the two of them made their way through the big room to say hello to everyone. Not even for a second did Howl let go of Hiki’s hand. His grip stayed firm and reassuring. All the people working for him knew about their relationship, and no one batted an eye.   
“Do you want anything to drink?” Howl asked Hiki when they were done greeting everyone.   
“Yes, I’ll go and get a Coke or something. Do you want anything, too?”   
“Are you sure? I can go with you…"  
"It's fine, don't worry too much, have fun," he smiled.   
"Okay, then orange juice would be nice.”  
Hiki nodded and left to look for the bar. Everyone was in a great mood. People were chatting, some were dancing, there was a big buffet with all sorts of foods and the bar was well assorted.   
“Here you go,” he said as he handed Howl his glass of orange juice when he came back.   
“Thanks. Are you having fun?”  
“No, not really, it’s pretty boring. There aren’t any party drugs, just alcohol. So lame. Not what I expect from a good party.”  
Howl stared at Hiki baffled.   
“Howl, I was joking, relax." He laughed. "I’m having fun, it’s all good."   
Right when Howl wanted to reply, a loud voice interrupted him.   
“Junpei, stop running and come here!”   
A couple that apparently had just arrived tried to call their little son to order. “Ah, Shachou, good evening. Thank you for inviting us, we’re happy to be here. Please excuse our little hurricane of a son. Good evening, Hikaru-kun.” The man bowed before Howl and laughed. Hiki and Howl bowed as well.  
“Good to see you, Suzuki-san. Your wife looks as lovely as always, thank you for coming.” He turned to the wife and bowed again. She blushed and thanked him. “And you have grown so much, Junpei-kun. I bet you’re shaving already. How old are you now?”   
“I’m already six! I don't shave but I know how to, from watching my dad,” he replied proudly.   
“Six? You look much older. Stay away from the bar, alright?” Howl joked and his parents laughed as little Junpei blushed, flustered. Hiki was always amazed at how great Howl was with people.   
“There’s an area for the small grown-ups back there, Junpei-kun. We have a ball pit and other cool stuff, do you want to go and check it out?” Howl asked.   
The little boy’s eyes widened and started glowing in excitement. “YEAH!” He nodded eagerly.   
“I could take him there, if that’s okay for you,” Hiki offered.   
“Of course Hikaru-kun, thank you,” the boy’s father answered. “Jun, go with Hikaru-kun, okay?”  
“Ehhh, dun wanna,” he protested.  
Howl knelt down to the little boy and whispered: “You know, Hikaru is a brave knight and he even saved a princess the other day. He will lead you to great adventures,” he promised. Junpei’s eyes widened again. He looked at Hiki in awe, took his hand and the both of them left. Hiki was happy. He felt much more comfortable around kids, so he wanted to use this opportunity to spend some time at the playroom, which originally was one of the big conference rooms. The desks and seats had been removed and replaced with a ball pit, a small slide, and a little area where the kids could get crafty; there were dolls, toy cars, balloons, and other toys.   
“Whoa…” Hiki was astonished at the sight. Junpei let go of his hand, ran off and dove straight into the ball pit.   
“I know, right? That's our Shachou for you." A female voice suddenly came from behind him and he turned around. The woman looked like she was in her 20's and seemed to be an employee he hadn't met before. She had curly hair and wore big glasses. "I feel like he adds more and more toys every year to make sure the kids aren’t getting bored. This way their parents can have a good time, knowing that their kids are having fun as well. He always seems kind of grumpy, but he’s actually very kind... And he's hot."  
Hiki was a bit surprised about her straightforwardness.   
“I also have the feeling that there are more kids every year. I counted 16 earlier, jeez. Oh by the way, I’m Tanaka Fumiko, I work in field service, but today I’m a nanny,” she twaddled, and laughed at her own joke. “And you are? Hmm… do you work here? I don't think I’ve ever seen you before. But then again, I’m rarely at my desk and more at the clients' offices.”   
“I-I’m Ueda Hikaru, nice to meet you,” Hiki smiled. “I’m… well, your Shachou and I… We’re… umm…” Hiki didn’t exactly know how to phrase it. He never had to introduce himself as Howl’s lover before.  _ Boyfriend? Lover? Other half? What's the correct term?, _ he pondered.   
“Ueda-kun and I are partners.” Howl appeared behind Hiki and placed his hand on his shoulder. Did he hear him struggling a moment ago? Did he think Hiki wasn’t sure what they were to each other? His heart was racing.  
“Oh, Shachou, good evening! Ah, so this is the infamous Hikaru-kun, I see. Well, it's true what people around here say. He's really cute," she grinned.   
“Tanaka-san, would you excuse us for a moment, please?”   
“Yup, sure! I’ll go and see if the kids need anything.” She smiled and left.    
“Come here, Hikkun.” Howl led him out of the room into the hallway.  
“I’m sorry, Howl... I didn’t know what to call it without sounding inappropriate. I mean we’re partners… companions... a couple… lovers… s-soulm- MH...!”  
Howl interrupted Hiki with a kiss.   
“Sorry, Hikkun. The urge to kiss you was too strong. Just like everyone around here says, you’re too cute," he chuckled.   
Hiki blushed. "She's very… direct, isn't she…"   
"Indeed. That's one reason why I hired her. She doesn't beat around the bush and she's very competent. Anyhow, enough about her, I came here for you. I wanted to tell you that if you want to stay here at the kids' room, it's fine. You probably feel more comfortable here, right?”   
"Hehe, you know me so well," Hiki indirectly admitted.  
“Haa, Hikkun… I would love to spend the night with you snuggled up on the sofa, having some snacks, watching television… Just the two of us.” He brushed through Hiki’s hair.  
“Hmm, that sounds nice. But being here is fun too. You should go back, they probably miss you already, your employees really revere you. I will stay here and help Tanaka-san with the kids. Have fun, okay?” Hiki straightened Howl’s tie, even though there was nothing wrong with it. Then he looked up to him and smiled lovingly. Howl touched Hiki’s chin, bent over to kiss him and walked away sighing. Hiki grinned lovestruck and returned to the kids' room.  
“There’s the princess I told you about,” he suddenly heard little Junpei’s voice yelling. He came running to Hiki with a cloud of kids following him. “Shachou-san said that he’s a princess! A real princess!” The kids stared at Hiki and made sounds of amazement.   
“Ah, Junpei-kun, I think you didn’t get that right...”  
“Princess, can we braid your hair please,” a little girl asked.  
“Yes, we want to braid your hair!” Another girl joined in.  _ So much for ‘my new haircut makes me more manly _ , Hiki thought giggling.  
“The girls will make you pretty and us boys will fight off dragons to protect you,” Junpei shouted eagerly. Hiki sighed. There was no use in arguing with them, so he gave in.   
The kids were very fond of Hiki and enjoyed playing with him. The boys ran around with foam swords, fighting off the plastic slide they saw as a dragon which they blamed for Hiki’s injured arm, and the girls made a purple cardboard crown for him.

  
A few hours later, Howl saw Tanaka walking by, on her way to the buffet. “Ah, Tanaka-kun, how’s Hikaru? I didn’t get the chance to check up on him yet, is everything okay?”  
“The kids got tired from running around, so he went to the nappy corner with them and told them some stories. He didn’t come back, even after the parents picked up their kids one by one. I figured he’s sleeping as well, so I let him. The kids were all over him the whole time, he must be tired,” she explained.   
“Thank you for your hard work, Tanaka-kun.”  
“No, it was fun. Especially after Hiki joined us, the kids really adored him. If he’s there again next year, I don’t mind being the nanny of the night again,” she smiled.   
“He will be there for sure,” Howl replied and went to the kids room to finally look after his lover. The ‘Nappy corner’, as Tanaka had called it, consisted of some mattresses on the floor in the office right next to the conference room. He had also prepared pillows and blankets. He found Hiki lying in the middle of the mattress area, arms and legs spread out widely, still wearing his cardboard crown. Howl chuckled lovingly at that sight. Then he pulled out his phone from his pocket and took a picture. “Set as… background,” he whispered and grinned. Then he knelt down, caressed his lover’s cheek and kissed him softly on his lips. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. It’s almost midnight, let’s start the new year together…”   
“Mmh…” Hiki woke up, rubbed his eyes and looked at Howl. “Oh, I guess I fell asleep. I had so much fun with the little ones, but it was quite exhausting. How was your night, did you have fun at the party?”  
“It was okay. I missed you.” Howl leaned over and kissed him again. Their soft pecking quickly turned into a sensual deep kiss as Howl’s hand slipped underneath Hiki’s sweater and aimed straight for his lover's chest.   
“Mh… ah, Howl wait… what if someone walks in on us…”   
“I locked the door, don’t worry…” he whispered and started kissing Hiki’s neck when suddenly two dulled female voices from outside interrupted them.  
“Have you seen Shachou? It’s almost midnight, everyone is gathering for the countdown...”   
“No, I haven’t, but maybe he’s in the bathroom. Let’s go to the others and wait for him.”  
“Didn’t he want to look for his cute little boyfriend? Maybe they’re hiding somewhere to make out, teehee.”  
“Stop that, it’s our boss you’re talking about, how inappropriate... But maybe they are. He’s so hot and his boyfriend is so cute!”    
“I know right? They’re the perfect couple. I couldn’t even decide which one to pick.”    
The girls giggled as they walked away.   
Hiki and Howl looked at each other and both of them started laughing. Then, Howl sighed loudly and sat up. “I can’t even eat up my boyfriend in my own office without getting interrupted.”  
“We should go back…” Hiki huffed as he got up as well.   
“Yeah, I know,” Howl agreed, frustrated. Hiki touched Howl’s chin and gently guided it into his direction. He fixed his lover’s tousled hair and smiled at him. “Perfect.”  
Howl leaned over and placed one last kiss on Hiki’s lips. “Let’s go.” He helped Hiki up, they straightened their clothes and went back to the others.   
Big parties and countdowns weren’t usually Japanese customs for New Year's Eve, but ever since the first party, the countdown had become a regular tradition that all of them enjoyed. Ten seconds before midnight everyone started counting down from ten to one and at midnight they threw confetti and wished each other a happy new year. Half an hour later, Howl took Hiki's hand and dragged him to the elevator.   
“Are we leaving?” he asked surprised.  
“Yes,” Howl replied, shortly.  
“B-But the party isn’t over yet… Won't they miss you?”  
“They'll be fine. I asked Higarashi-san to lock the office when it's over. She's always the last one to leave anyway. I've had enough for today. It was fun, but I want to be alone with you now. How's your back?” Howl asked as he pushed his glasses up with one finger while they were waiting for the lift to arrive.   
“It-It's fine. Doesn't hurt much…” Hiki blushed, knowing the reason behind Howl’s question.   
“Good.” The elevator arrived, they stepped inside and as soon as the door had closed, Howl pushed him against the big mirror at the back and started kissing him passionately. Hiki didn’t expect that, but of course, he wanted Howl just as badly. When they had reached the top floor, they made their way into the condo over to the bedroom, stumbling while undressing each other in between their rousing kisses and luscious huffing. They indulged in their bodily lust for each other until the break of dawn.   
“Enough Howl, I can’t anymore.” The exhausted and sweaty Hiki slumped down from Howl’s lap onto the sheets, huffing and puffing after they both climaxed.  
“Does your back hurt? Maybe this position was a bad idea,” Howl panted, worried.   
“No, but… just how often did I cum already? I don’t even know… I’m completely dried out.”   
“You’re insatiable, Hikkun,” he teased him.    
“As if you are any different.” Hiki looked at him and raised one eyebrow. Then he turned his head and looked out of the panorama window. “Howl, look! Hatsuhinode, the first sunrise of the year…” he mumbled as he started drifting off. “It’s… beautiful... isn’t it…” And with that, he had fallen asleep.    
Howl looked at his lover, who was covered in the glowing orange light sparkling on his sweaty skin. “Yeah. Absolutely stunning.” He smiled, tucked him in and watched him sleep for a few minutes. Then he got up to pack their bags for their trip to Machida. Hiki had done some of the packing already, but Howl wanted to finish up, so they could leave right after Hiki had rested a bit. They didn’t plan to stay up all night, but it couldn’t be helped now. They actually wanted to go to bed right after the party, so they could leave Tokyo around ten in the morning and arrive in Machida around noon. Since Hiki's father had invited them to the traditional shrine visit, he had to stay with their schedule. That meant only a few hours of sleep for Hiki and no sleep at all for him, which was fine for Howl.  _ Totally worth it _ , he thought, smiling. He packed their bags and made breakfast bento for them to eat in the car. Then, he took a shower and went down to the office to see if everything was okay. The office was a mess, but he expected a cleaning crew on the 5th, the day before his employees came back to work. As usual, his secretary Higarashi had taken good care of everything, it seemed. She always picked up the leftovers the next day to bring them to a homeless shelter near her house, including some extra food Howl used to order from the catering service for them. Everything was alright, so he nodded contentedly and went back upstairs to wake Hiki up.

  
He sat on Hiki’s side of the bed and caressed his cheek. “Hikkun… we have to leave soon.”   
“Howl? What time is it?” He stretched and yawned. His body felt sore, but he was happy.   
“It’s 9 in the morning. Sorry, you only had two hours of sleep, but we’ll have to leave in an hour. Remember, your father invited us for Hatsumode.”  
“Right, I’m so looking forward to it. I’ll go and take a quick shower.” Hiki sat up and suddenly flinched. “Ugh…”   
“Hikkun, are you okay? We totally overdid it again. I’m telling you all the time to rest, but here I am, screwing you all night long, tch.”  
Hiki giggled. “I’m fine, and… it was really good. Like, really, really good.” He smirked. Howl kissed him softly.   
“It was,” he agreed.   
“I’ll head to the shower now.”  
“Alright, I’ll take a look around to see if I didn’t forget to pack anything and rest a little,” Howl said as he got up and walked over to the door.   
“You packed? Did you even sleep at all?”    
“It’s no biggie. Before I met you, I used to pull all-nighters all the time. I don’t do that anymore, because I have a reason to go to bed now,” he smiled and left.  
Hiki clicked his tongue. After all the organizing, the party itself and their exhausting night, plus packing and everything, Howl must have been crazy tired. He sighed and went to the bathroom. When he was ready, he walked over to the living room and found Howl sitting on the sofa, sound asleep. Hiki frowned. He didn’t want to wake him up, but Howl would probably get super mad if he wouldn’t.   
“Howl… wake up…” He leaned over and caressed his cheek, just like Howl always did. Suddenly Howl grabbed his hand and kissed it. “Wah!” Hiki jolted.   
“Sorry, I wasn’t sleeping. But thank you for waking me up so gently, that was really cute.” He smiled.   
“I-I just did what you always do,” Hiki answered flustered. “Come on now, we gotta leave.” He walked ahead to take one of the two bags.   
“Hikkun, are you limping again?”   
“Huh?! No, I’m not!” Hiki had tried to hide it, but the past night had worsened the state of his bruised tailbone.   
“Okay, that means we're on a sex break... Well, not like we can do much while we're at your parents’ house anyway.” He got up, walked over to Hiki, kissed him on the head and grabbed both bags. “Let's go.”  
Hiki nodded gloomily and they left.  
Unfortunately, there was a lot of traffic, so they got stuck for a while. But that gave them the opportunity to eat Howl's delicious breakfast bento. Hiki kept forgetting what an excellent cook Howl was. He texted his brother Hajime their expected time of arrival after the traffic had gotten better, and as they drove up to the house he could already see him and his best friend Kaito waiting for them.   
He got out of the car the moment it stopped and walked over to them as fast as he could. “Hacchan, Kaito!” He smiled broadly and hugged them.   
“Niichan, welcome back!”  
“Hey, Hiki! So good to see you!”  
They greeted each other while Howl took the bags out of the trunk and joined the cheerful boys.   
“Ah, Howl! I'm sorry for leaving you behind, how rude of me…” Hiki apologized.  
“It's alright, Hikkun. You haven't seen each other in a while after all. Hey you two, how have you been?”  
“We’re fine, but why is my brother wearing a cast,” Hajime asked surprised.   
“Hikkun, you didn’t tell them?”  
“No, I didn’t want to worry them.”  
“Idiot. You should tell us stuff like this! Howl, what happened?” Kaito asked.   
“Maybe we should go inside to talk,” Hajime suggested. “It’s pretty cold out here and there are cookies waiting, hehe.”   
Everyone agreed and they moved inside. Kaito and Hajime led them to the traditional lounge. They actually had two lounges in the house. The modern one had big white sofas and armchairs, a huge flat screen TV, a modern bar and white carpets. The room they had just entered was a traditional tatami room. The white wall panels were framed with dark wooden beams and the floor was laid-out with tatami mats. The sitting area contained a long chabudai, a short-legged table, with six floor chairs called zaisu. In the back of the room was a big Kotatsu fitting for six people as well.   
“Ohh, they put up the Kotatsu already,” Hiki shouted excitedly. “I always loved sitting there, it’s so warm and cozy. But I didn’t get to use it often, because most of the time there were too many kyoudai around and I felt awkward sitting together with them.” He blushed.  
“Wanna sit at the kotatsu then, Hiki?” Kaito asked.  
“No, I think I would fall asleep in an instant. Let’s just sit at the normal table.”   
Hajime and Kaito took the seats right across from Hiki and Howl and they sat down.  
“Ouch.” Hiki flinched.    
Howl put his hand on Hiki’s shoulder. “Are you okay with sitting on the floor, Hikkun?” he asked worriedly.  
“Yeah. The zaisu are cushioned, after all, I just made a wrong movement,” Hiki smiled.  
“Okay, what exactly happened to you? Spill,” Kaito demanded.  
“Nothing major. We went ice skating and I fell, that’s all.”  
“Sounds just like you…” Kaito observed.   
“Yeah, Niichan, you really are a bit on the clumsy side. Ice skating probably isn’t for you, hehe,” Hajime added.   
“You’re probably right...”   
“He was actually very good,” Howl suddenly said. “He’s a quick learner and managed to skate freely without falling even once. But some dickhead pushed him, that’s why he fell,” Howl corrected. He didn’t like how Hiki made himself look bad.   
“Someone pushed you, Niichan?! What the heck?”   
“Well, I accidentally crashed into him and while I was trying to regain my balance, I clung onto him. He didn’t like that, so he pushed me away and I fell,” Hiki explained properly.   
“He bruised his wrist and his butt,” Howl added.   
“I bruised my tailbone, not my butt. But it’s gotten better already. My wrist too. I have a doctor’s appointment next week and I’m sure he’ll take the cast off.”  
“What an asshole! I hope Howl-nii avenged you!” Hajime punched the air.   
“Jeez, Hajime, stop watching so many superhero movies,” Kaito rolled his eyes.   
“Well, to be honest, I wanted to. But your brother didn’t let me.”  
“Niichan, why did you hold him back? Tche.”  
“Have we met before? You should know how much I despise violence...”  
“Sorry, Niichan. But… Then I hope he gets a really bad rash and breaks both arms in an accident, so he can’t scratch!” Hajime grinned proudly.    
Hiki couldn’t help but giggle. He knew Hajime meant well, so he didn’t want to scold him any further.   
“By the way, when are we leaving for Hatsumode?” Howl asked.   
“In about two hours,” Hajime answered. “Father usually keeps it a family thing, no outsiders allowed. The fact that he invited you is a pretty big honor, Howl-nii. Same goes for the family dinner. But you brought my brother back for the New Year holidays, so he probably appreciates that a lot and tries to show it.”   
“Howl, have you met their mother before?” Kaito asked suddenly.   
“No, not yet. But I’ve heard enough about her to not look forward to that,” Howl answered bluntly. He looked at Hiki who had become pale as clay. “Hikkun, are you alright?”  
“...I was so excited to see Hacchan and Kai again that I completely forgot about her...”, Hiki mumbled. “And… I don’t think about her much at all anymore. It’s like… I cut her out of my mind completely when I moved out. But… I just realized that I will definitely see her today…”.   
“She won’t join the Hatsumode though, right?” Kaito asked.   
“No, but she will be at the New Year’s dinner tonight,” Hajime answered.   
Hiki’s heart was beating fast. His imagination of what might happen at that dinner went wild and made him feel very anxious. She had stopped physically abusing him back then, but her words were still sharp as knives and she knew how to use them to hurt someone. Hiki started sweating.   
“Hajime, Kaito, would you excuse us? We had a long night at the office party. I’d like to rest a little before we leave,” Howl suddenly said. He had noticed Hiki’s anxiety and thought it would be best for him to have some space to calm down.  
“Oh yeah, sure,” Hajime answered.   
“We’ll just go to my room for a bit,” Hiki said as he and Howl got up. “Let’s continue our talk later.”  
“Oh, sure, rest a little,” Hajime answered.   
Howl picked up their bags and they left the lounge. They followed a long hallway and walked up the stairs. At the end of the staircase was another long hallway, seamed with seven doors. Three on the left, three on the right, and one at the end of the hallway, which was Hiki’s room. Howl knew that, because he had been there the day Hiki moved in with him.  
They entered his room and as soon as the door shut close behind them, Howl dropped their luggage, pulled Hiki closer and embraced him. He was startled at first, but that was exactly what Hiki needed in that moment. He returned Howl’s hug.    
**“** I’m not sure if it was a good idea to come,” Howl admitted.    
Hiki loosened his grip around his lover’s waist and looked up to him. “I’m glad we did. Even though tonight will surely be rough, I’m so happy to be with Kai and my brother. Hatsumode will be fun too,” he smiled. “Let’s not think about my mother, let’s lay down on the bed and rest for a bit.” Hiki let go of Howl, took his hand and led him over to his bed. “It’s small, but we’ll fit. We just have to get as close as possible,” he smiled.    
“I guess smaller beds have their perks too, huh…”   
They laid down spooning. Howl held Hiki tightly.    
“I have never felt this safe in this house,” Hiki said. Now that he enjoyed his new life with Howl so much, he felt even less at home as he did before. The room was still in the same state as he had left it in. It was pretty small, but it was enough space for Hiki. There was his bed, some book shelves and his desk. The view at the mountains in the distance from his window was his favorite part of the room. He thought about his mother and there wasn’t anything he could do to avoid her tonight, but he hoped and prayed that she at least wouldn’t be drunk. Suddenly someone knocked on his door and it opened.   
“Niichan, father is back from paying respect to his parents’ graves. He wants to see the two of you.”  
“Alright, we’re coming,” Hiki answered and they got up. They quickly went downstairs, over to Yasuhiro’s office. They knocked on the door and his father told them to come in.   
Howl noticed that Hiki was nervous, so he smiled at him and placed his hand on Hiki’s shoulder as they walked over to the big desk.   
“Good to see you, it’s been a while. Please, take a seat.” Yasuhiro greeted them in his usual polite but cold manner. “I was surprised about your call, Howl-san, but I appreciate that you brought my son back for the New Year’s celebrations. How are you doing, Hikaru? How’s Uni going?”  
“I'm doing good. Still straight A’s in all subjects, except for one test that I got a B in, but it won’t influence my overall grade at all,” Hiki answered stiffly.   
“It’s a little disappointing, to be honest. But I guess it can’t be helped. And how’s business going, Howl-san?”   
Hiki didn’t seem as if his father’s comment on his grade bothered him much, but Howl was highly annoyed. He swallowed his anger and replied: “Business is going great, thank you. I hope you’re doing well, too.”   
“Well, I can’t complain. If you’ll excuse me now, I will have to get ready to visit the shrine.” He got up and so did Hiki and Howl. The two of them spent the next hour with Hajime and Kaito, waiting at the lounge for everyone to gather. Howl was wondering about all the men that were obviously yakuza members since it was supposed to be a family thing, and Hajime explained that they were guards who would escort them to the shrine. After a while, Hiki’s sister Harumi, her husband and their daughter entered the room. They greeted Hiki and Howl formally, but the only one who smiled at them was Harumi’s husband Tadao. He asked Hiki how Uni was going, but Harumi glared at him after hissing his name and he followed her to the other side of the room. And finally, Yasuhiro arrived as well, with Hiki’s eldest brother Hiroki by his side, and they left for the shrine.   
Several black cars drove there like in a caravan. When they arrived at the old, sacred building, there weren’t many people because it wasn’t located in a public area. Hiki explained that it was a tradition for the Ueda family for many decades now to visit that certain shrine, because it was a little hidden and more private. They did their prayers and in the end, they all got Omikuji as well; these were little paper rolls that tell Hatsumode visitors their fortune for the next year.   
“What did you get?” Hajime asked his brother, excited.  
“It says Kichi,” Hiki answered startled.  
“Whoa, Niichan, you got ‘Good Luck’? That’s a first, you usually draw ‘Bad Luck’, that’s awesome!”   
Hiki looked at his scroll and read his prediction for “Love”. He folded it, put it into his pocket, looked at Howl and grinned.   
“What is it?” Howl asked.   
“Nothing... What did you get?”   
Howl opened his scroll, read it and immediately put it away.   
“So...?”   
“I’ll tell you later.”   
“Come on, tell me~”  
“I’ll tell you when we’re back in your room.”  
“What? But we’ll have dinner after this, it will take forever,” Hiki whined.   
“Patience is a virtue, Hikkun.”  
“Tche.” Hiki pouted. Howl looked around to make sure no one was looking and kissed him.   
“Howl…!” Hiki blushed and touched his lips, flustered.  
“It’s fine, no one saw.” He winked and they caught up to the others. The whole time Hiki would’ve loved to hold Howl’s hand, but he knew he couldn't do that with his father and so many kyoudai around. He couldn’t wait to finally be alone with his lover.


	9. Family Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter has strong homophobic language.

When everyone was done with their prayers and had received their oracles, the group walked back to their cars and drove home. They entered the big dining room where the table was already set. Yasuhiro sat down at the end of it. Hiroki, his first lieutenant, sat on his left and next to Hiroki was their second lieutenant Kitamura. He wasn’t really a part of the family, but he was important enough to join them. The seat on Yasuhiro’s right was empty, but it was followed by Harumi and her husband. Their nanny was taking care of their little daughter and had brought her back home so she wouldn’t be a “nuisance”, as Harumi had called it. Hajime was sitting next to Kitamura, followed by Howl. Hiki sat right across from Howl, next to Tadao.  
  
<strike>(A little help for those who have issues following my possibly confusing description lol)</strike>  
  
“Hajime, go ask your mother to join us,” Yasuhiro ordered his youngest son. Hajime nodded diligently and left.   
“It smells really good,” Howl said to Hiki, but his lover didn’t get the chance to answer, because his father interfered.   
“My chef has two Michelin stars. I hope you will enjoy the meal she has prepared for us. You look like someone who appreciates high-class meals.”   
“I do, indeed. You know, your son is an excellent cook. But I’m looking forward to what your chef will serve us as well, of course. Thank you for having me,” Howl replied and smiled at Hiki, who blushed. He was happy that Howl had praised him in front of his family.   
“Ueda-dono, would you like some wine?” a servant asked Yasuhiro and distracted him from their conversation. Suddenly the door opened and Hajime walked in with a strained expression. Howl was surprised at that sight, he had never seen him like that before. He sat back down on his chair, leaned over to Hiki and Howl overheard him whispering: “She drank a lot, so stay quiet and don’t draw any attention to you.”  
Hiki was extremely stressed. He had hoped that she would at least be sober tonight since, in a drunken state, she was even worse. Then, his mother entered the room and everyone who was chatting until then became silent.   
“Well, here we are again, aren’t we. Another year has passed and everyone has gotten older. Except me, of course,” she cackled. “And the ones who aren't amongst us anymore, that is.” She was wearing an expensive-looking Kimono and looked very sophisticated, but her posture was sloppy and she seemed unsteady on her feet. Howl watched Hiki, but he just sat there and stared down at the table, his hands placed on his lap. He looked like a scared little kid. Howl's heart throbbed.   
“Why don’t you sit down, dear?” Yasuhiro ordered her, indirectly. She clicked her tongue but staggered over to her seat, supported by a maid. Normally Howl would have introduced himself, but he stayed silent since that would definitely draw attention to Hiki as well. Instead, he moved his foot forward and felt for Hiki’s. When their feet touched, Hiki raised his head and looked at him in surprise. Howl smiled warmly as if he wanted to say “Just a little reminder that I’m here with you. You’re not alone", and he was sure that Hiki understood. Hiki returned Howl’s smile, but he still looked anxious and tense.   
Yasuhiro waved at one of the servants as a sign to bring in the food, and they started with the first course. They all enjoyed the festive meal. The first course was Miso soup with mussels, the second course was tofu with crab sauce, for the third course they had Chirashi Sushi, the main course contained miso-glazed black cod with sauteed broccoli, and in the end, they got served Yuzu Creme Brulées. Everyone had a good time and the mood was fairly relaxed. Howl glanced over at Hiki’s mother from time to time. She seemed completely indifferent and not interested in talking to anyone. It looked like her glass of wine was more important to her, but every time Harumi talked to her, she had at least a slight smile on her face. That expression of hers made Howl notice how much Hiki resembled her. He was actually the only one who looked like her. Harumi and Hiroki had black hair and although Hajime had the same hair color as Hiki and their mother, all their faces resembled Yasuhiro’s. Hiki had his mother’s rose blonde hair, the same face shape, eyes, nose, and he even had a mole at the same place as her. But the huge difference between them was that Hiki’s smiles were honest and full of kindness, and he always had a warm expression on his face when he talked to someone. Her smile looked fake, her eyes were cold as ice and it was obvious that she put up an act.   
During the whole dinner, Hiki barely ate anything and didn’t talk. He kept peeking at the clock on the wall and just wanted it to be over so he could go to his room with Howl.  
“So, Howl-san, how did you like the food? My chef is-” Yasuhiro started, but his wife interrupted him instantly.   
“Howl? That sounds familiar... Isn’t that the homo that made one of the kids gay?”   
Hiki's heart throbbed and he glanced at Howl, but his lover looked as calm as always. Of course, such a low comment wouldn't faze him. Hiki was a little relieved.   
“Kimiko dear, please don’t.” Yasuhiro glared at her, but that only seemed to fuel her.  
“Hey you, don’t you think it’s rude of you to stuff your face with our food without first introducing yourself to me properly?”  
“Mother, please...” Hiroki tried to stop her as well.  
“Shut up, kid,” she silenced him. “You’re a foreigner, right? And you’re pretty wealthy from what I’ve heard. Yasu mentioned that you run your own company.”  
“I’m sorry for not introducing myself earlier. My name is Harada Howl. I’m actually half Japanese, half British, and yes, I run my own IT company.” Howl answered politely, but without faked friendliness. He didn’t want to cause trouble for Hiki, so he tried to behave, but after everything he had heard about her, he would have preferred not to talk to her at all.   
“Hmm, I see… You're rich, smart and good looking. So what exactly do you want with that worthless kid then? He causes nothing but trouble and worries for everyone. We should’ve sent him to an orphanage if you ask me, but they would probably refuse to take him in anyway,” she chuckled. “He's absolutely useless and nothing but a pain in the ass. And he’s probably just a gold digger who’s after your money, and you fell for it, you poor soul, hehe. He’s disgusting scum that doesn’t deserve to be alive. And now he’s gay too thanks to you, which makes it even worse. Someone should just put him out of his misery.”  
“Kimiko!” Yasuhiro interrupted her. Howl was utterly shocked as he witnessed her nature first hand. _How can a mother treat her own blood like that_, he asked himself.   
She grinned mischievously and took another sip of wine. Hiki's heart was racing and his ears were ringing, he was a nervous wreck. He just hoped it would be over soon… he hoped she would just stop saying those things to the person he loved. He didn’t want him to hear that, and he hated that he didn’t have the guts to stand up for them and tell her to shut her mouth. He just felt like the helpless child who was scared of her as far as he could remember.   
Howl, who of course noticed his lover’s distress and decided that he didn’t want to watch him suffer any longer, slowly got up from his chair and glared at Kimiko.   
“Your son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I owe him all my happiness, he’s an enrichment to the lives of everyone who’s lucky enough to meet him and you should be grateful to have such a wonderful, upright, kind-hearted son. God knows that I am. I’m grateful for every minute I can spend with him and I hope that he will stay with me for the rest of my life. I would be the luckiest man on earth if he did, that’s for sure,” Howl said with a strong voice. Kimiko’s eyes widened in shock upon Howl’s bluntness and everyone was staring at him. He knew that talking to a yakuza wife like that was not the best idea, but at that point, he didn’t care anymore.  
"How dare you talk to me like that,” she hissed. But in the next moment, she sighed loudly and leaned back in her chair. “ You went a bit too far, but I’ll forgive you, good-looking. That damn kid knows how to manipulate others with his cutesie behavior after all. ‘Oh look at me, I'm so cute and weak and helpless, protect me’... Disgusting. That’s why my poor Satoshi was so fond of him. He fell for his act, just like you. And now he's dead.” She took her glass and glared at Hiki. “You should ditch that little bastard and run as fast as you can or you will end up dead too.”   
“Kimiko!” Yasuhiro slammed his fist on the table. “That's enough already!”   
Howl was raging, but he knew that if he started a fight now it would only make things worse. He looked over at Hiki and when he saw that dolorous expression on his face, he knew that he had to act.   
“It's enough indeed,” he said. “I’m sorry, Ueda-san, I don’t want to be disrespectful, but would you please excuse us? I don't feel well and I would like to retreat. I can’t hold my liquor very well and I think I had too much wine tonight,” he addressed Yasuhiro without giving Hiki’s mother any further attention. Yasuhiro couldn’t help but smirk at Howl’s semi-subtle side blow since he knew that Howl didn't have any wine, and he nodded in consent. The two men weren't very fond of each other, but they respected one another and they shared one important thing, and that was their love for Hiki.   
“Let's leave, Hikkun,” he said in a soft voice and smiled at him.   
Hiki nodded, got up and they walked over to the door, but Kimiko didn't let them go without yelling one last comment at them. “Yeah, you better leave, disgusting homos! I hope you die in a car crash on your way home!”  
Hiki flinched as Howl shut the door behind them.   
“Howl, I'm so sorry for-” he started but Howl interrupted him.   
"Don't you dare apologize on her behalf. She doesn't deserve it. Let's go." He grabbed his hand and dragged him along, down the hallway. Against Hiki’s expectation, they didn’t go to his room.   
"H-Howl, where are we going?" he asked confused.   
"Away. Away from her and away from this house," he growled. He led him to the front door, grabbed their coats and they walked outside towards the car.   
"Get in." He opened the door for Hiki, and they left the Ueda property and drove down the road. The sun had set already and Hiki looked out of the window into the darkness, glad that they had left that house. He definitely felt better with some distance between him and his mother.   
Howl was so full of rage; he knew he should’ve talked to Hiki more, he knew that his lover wasn’t in a good place mentally and needed him, but he had to calm down first. He stopped the car at the edge of a forest in the middle of nowhere, got out and walked a few steps. Hiki was able to see him well thanks to the headlights and decided to stay in the car to give him some space. But then, Howl bent over and picked something up from the ground. It was a big branch from the tree that was a few meters away from the car. Suddenly, he swung the branch and slammed it against the tree trunk in full throttle, again and again. Hiki was shocked. He had never seen him so livid, it was completely out of character for him. He jumped out of the car and rushed over to him, slightly panicking. "Howl, what are you doing? Please calm down!"   
But Howl kept beating on that tree relentlessly and started yelling in between his strikes. "That woman is the devil! How can a mother treat her own son like that? How could she, and still can, do this to you?! It's not fair! You don't deserve any of this!" He then threw the branch on the ground and turned to Hiki, who gasped in shock. Howl’s eyes were teary and he looked so sad. "I don't understand why you of all people had to go through so much, Hikkun…"  
Hiki's chest tightened and he held back his own tears. "Howl, please don't cry." He stepped closer to him and embraced Howl as tightly as he could. "It's okay, since I'm with you now. I couldn't be happier. You’re basically my compensation,” he looked up at Howl and smiled benignly.   
“Haa… Hikkun,” he sighed, smirking over Hiki’s comparison. "I'm sorry for my outburst, but I needed to vent my frustration and anger. I hope I didn't scare you."  
"Don't worry, you didn't. And I get it."  
“Are you okay, Hikkun? She said such horrible things…”   
“Yeah, I’m kind of used to it, I guess. In those moments I just hope it’ll be over fast, I don’t let her get to me anymore. What bothered me was that she was being so rude to you. Are you okay? Especially because of what she said about the car accident… Because of your own mother, I mean...”  
Howl chuckled. Of course, he was more worried about Howl than about himself. “I am, Hikkun. As long as I have you, everything will always be okay.” He placed his big warm hand on Hiki’s head.   
“I love you, Howl. Thank you for being you, and thank you for loving me despite me and my family being such a mess.”  
"You're making it more than easy for me to love you, Hikkun, trust me."  
An icy breeze rustled through the trees and made Hiki shiver.  
“Let’s get back in the car, it’s getting cold.”  
Hiki nodded. “Yeah, we should head back, I guess. It’s already past eight.”  
“Well, we don’t have to. I can call your brother and ask him to bring down our bags and we could just stay at a hotel," Howl suggested as they sat down and put on their safety belts.  
"I would prefer that to be honest, but my father would be offended."  
"That's true. Then, how about we drive around for a while? We don't have to go back now."  
“Oh yes, I'd love to!”   
"Alright, then let's go." He started the car and they went on a little cruise through the hills. Howl had turned on the seat heaters, so it was warm and cozy and they held hands, their fingers entwined. Hiki felt at ease and happy, and Howl had become his usual calm self again.   
“Oh, by the way… Th-Thank you for praising me so much in front of my father. That meant a lot to me,” Hiki smiled.   
“I only stated the truth. But next year, let's do our own Hatsumode."  
"Sounds good… But I’m still glad we came. I really missed Hacchan and Kaito. And normally my mother rarely leaves her room. She only joins dinner on special occasions. But if she does and I am there too, she gets agitated, feels provoked and makes a scene. Even in front of my father’s business partners… and it's worse when she's had alcohol. At one point, I was asked not to show up to big dinners anymore and I was glad, to be honest."  
"So you didn't spend Hatsumode with your family?"   
"None of the holidays in general. I stayed in my room, by myself."  
"Jeez, Hikkun…"   
"It's fine, I preferred it like that. She really hates me… I thought about it a lot, and I think it’s because I have the same attributes as Satoshi. Remember how I told you that everyone always said we were behaving like twins and that I looked like a younger version of him? That must have been hard for her after his death. I’ve always been her least favorite kid, but after that… And around this time of year she’s a little more on edge mentally, anyway,” Hiki explained.   
"Why is that?"  
“Satoshi’s death anniversary was three weeks ago.”  
“Wait... Three weeks ago? Why didn’t you mention anything? I was wondering why you acted strangely for a few days. You were unusually reclusive and often seemed absent-minded. But I thought it was because of the stress caused by Uni... Dammit, Hikkun, why didn’t you talk to me?"  
“I didn’t want to bother you because you were so busy. Work, organizing the party... What are you doing?”  
Howl slowed down the car and stopped on the side of the road. Then he put his hand on Hiki’s neck and gently but firmly pulled him closer to kiss his startled lover. Before they parted, he slightly bit Hiki’s bottom lip.   
“Ouch! Hey, what was that for,” Hiki asked appalled.  
“Punishment.” He placed another soft kiss on his lips. ”Next time let me be there for you, please. I’m your partner. I’m there to lift some weight off your shoulders, you don’t have to carry it all by yourself. Please try to remember that in the future.”  
Hiki nodded strongly. “Same goes for you, though.”  
Howl smiled, turned back to the steering wheel and sighed loudly. “What a night…” He took Hiki’s hand again and they continued driving.   
“This is a pretty rural area, huh,” Howl remarked after a while.  
“Yeah, my father chose that house because he wanted something that was off the beaten track for safety reasons, but I love this kind of environment. It's wholesome for both body and mind. Remember when we drove through Aoba Ward to avoid more traffic on our way here? That small village we passed was really cute. One day I’d like to live in a place like that,” Hiki confessed.   
“Is that so… Then let's buy a house there,” Howl replied bluntly.  
“Yeah sure, why not. Let’s just buy a house,” Hiki scoffed. “You’re being silly again, but it’s a nice thought. We could retreat there on the weekends and holidays to relax and escape the big city…”  
“What would you want our house to be like?”  
“A white, western-style house, two stories, and a porch. Like those houses, you can see in Hollywood movies. And it should have a big entrance area with an open living room and a dining area. A place where you feel comfortable and at home as soon as you enter. It should have a big, modern kitchen so I can cook all your favorite meals for you. And we’d need guest rooms so Sophie, Hacchan, and Kaito could stay over from time to time.”  
“What about the garden? Do you want a pool?”  
“Of course! A pool, a jacuzzi and an area where I can grow vegetables and herbs. And the backyard needs to be big so we’d have a lot of space for our dog!”   
“A d-dog?”  
“I’ve always wanted a dog, but my mother was against it, so…”  
“Noted. Let’s get three. Is there any breed you have in mind?”  
“Yeah, I want a Samoyed.”  
“Hikkun, that’s all very specific...”  
“Well, when I was still living at home and felt sad, I always imagined the life I would want to live when I became an adult. I wanted to study hard, get a well-paid job and buy a house. But it’s all hypothetical and just a little boy’s dream anyway.”  
Howl didn’t reply to that and they both went silent for a while, absorbed in their own thoughts. Around 10:30 they arrived back at the house and parked the car.   
Hiki yawned. “Ugh, I’m so sleepy.”  
“Well, it’s been a long day and you haven’t slept much last night.”  
“You haven’t slept at all, you must be dead tired.”  
“I’m fine. Let’s go inside and head to bed.”   
Hiki leaned over and kissed Howl softly on the lips. “In a minute...”  
Howl cupped his lover’s face with his hand and kissed him back. He opened his mouth and his tongue slipped in, but then Hiki suddenly jolted away.   
“Oh, by the way, I just remembered that you still didn't tell me what your oracle said!”   
“You want to know that _now_?” Howl asked, a little frustrated.   
“Un!” Hiki nodded excitedly.  
“Do you still have yours in your pocket?”   
“Me? Uh, yeah.” He rummaged around in his jeans pocket and pulled out the paper. “Here. It says ‘Good Luck’, see? There's Great Luck, Good Luck, just Luck and then it goes over to Bad Luck and so on. I used to get Bad Luck or worse, this is the first time ever that I got a better one!”   
Howl took Hiki’s oracle and read part of it out loud. “Love. Seems like your love life had been fatal so far, but it will change for the better. Ouch…” Howl chuckled.   
“It's kinda true, though,” Hiki giggled. “So what did you get?”   
“Mine said ‘Good Luck’ too.”   
“Really? So your love life was fatal too before you met me, huh? Hehe,” he teased him.  
“It’s so much better now, that’s for sure,” he winked and made Hiki blush  
“Well, looks like this year will be good for the both of us,” Hiki rejoiced, not knowing that Howl had lied. The truth was that he had drawn a ‘Greatest Luck’ oracle, and for the category Love it predicted: ‘If you aren’t married, you are going to propose to a special someone or that someone will propose to you’. Howl smiled as he thought about it.   
“What is it?”   
“Nothing. I'm just happy to be with you, that's all.”  
“Me too,” Hiki sparkled.   
“I’m glad to see you smiling at me like that again. Are you feeling better?”  
“Yes, I feel a lot better thanks to you.”   
“Same,” Howl replied. They got out of the car, walked into the house and went upstairs. Unexpectedly, a guard was standing in the hallway, waiting for them.   
“Hikaru-sama, your father wants to see you in his office.”  
“Huh? O-Okay. See you in a minute, Howl.”  
“No, you won’t. After that it’s curfew. He will go to the guest room now,” he pointed to the first door on the left, right next to the stairs. “And you will go to yours after you talked to Ueda-sama.”  
“What?! What do you mean he will go to the guest room?”  
“You’re not allowed to spend the night together. Your father’s orders.”  
“B-But that’s stupid… I’ll talk to him.”  
“It’s fine, Hikkun. It’s only for two nights, let’s not anger your father. We don’t need any more fighting. And your room is at the end of the hallway, so we’re not even that far apart.”   
Hiki looked at Howl and wanted to object, but he knew that he was right.   
“Ugh, fine! Can we have a moment to say goodnight at least?!”  
“Hurry,” the guard growled displeased.  
Hiki sighed, turned to Howl and looked at him with a sad expression. “Good night, I’ll miss you.” He wanted to kiss him so bad, but with that guard watching, he didn’t dare to. But then Howl made a sudden movement into his direction and to Hiki's surprise, he placed a soft kiss on his lips.   
“Good night, Hikkun. I love you, and I’ll miss you too.”   
“I-I love you too,” the astonished Hiki replied.  
“Go now, hurry. He’s waiting,” the guard barked. Howl glared at him while he retreated to his room. Hiki went downstairs again, over to the office. He was very nervous, because his father rarely called him to his office, so it must have been something serious. He knocked.   
“Come in,” Yasuhiro answered.  
“Father, you wanted to see me?” Hiki walked inside.   
“Sit. I need to talk to you.”   
Hiki did as he was told and sat down on one of the black chairs in front of the big black desk. His father looked agitated and stressed, Hiki was so nervous that his palms were sweaty.  
“Listen, your mother called your uncle earlier. Until now, I was able to keep her from doing so, but she was so angry because of Howl’s demeanor, that she told him everything about the two of you. He’s raging, of course. He absolutely hates… that kind of lifestyle and he told me that you’re no longer welcome in his house, and you’re no longer part of what he considers family.” Yasuhiro sighed and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. “That shouldn’t be a problem, but furthermore, he told me to separate you. He wants me to force you to come back home and to beat you until you become ‘normal’ again.”  
Hiki had always tried to avoid his uncle as much as possible. He was a highly-esteemed member of the clan he belonged to, the Igarashi-kai. He had a lot of influence and he was violent. Hiki feared that his father might give in, simply to avoid an uproar, so he became very nervous. But he knew that begging him not to separate the two of them wouldn’t be of any use, since his father categorized emotions like that as a weakness, so that would most likely have the opposite effect. He needed to stay calm.  
“I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble, father.”   
“I told you there would be consequences if you’re together with a man. It’s not socially acceptable to be like that, especially not in our surroundings.” He sighed heavily. “But you’re very lucky that those aren’t my views, and I don’t plan on giving in to his demands. You’re _my _son, so it’s none of his damn business. To make it short, I won’t force you to come back home or to break up with that guy. You can go and live your life the way you want to; you’re no yakuza after all. You decided that you didn’t want to be a part of the family business and I respect that since you fought hard for it and complied with all of my conditions. To be honest, you exceeded my expectations, so see this as sort of an acknowledgment. But we’ll have to make sure that you won’t meet your uncle again. You’re lucky that the Ueda-gumi is much larger and stronger than the Igarashi-kai, so I won’t have to please him and will quiet any uproars right away. Though I bet he won’t even dare to start one.”  
“Thank you, father, I’m very grateful. Howl and I will stay here tomorrow and I will avoid uncle in the future.”   
“It’s unlikely that you’ll accidentally meet him in Tokyo, so it’s good that you moved there. But Hikaru, people like him will cross your path again in the future, so I hope you’re prepared.”  
“I know there are people who hate how we are. I had a glimpse of that already.” Hiki looked down at his arm that was still in the plastic cast from the incident at the ice rink. “But I can deal with it.” He raised his head, straightened his posture and glared at his father confidently. “I’m stronger than you think.”  
Yasuhiro smirked. “Alright, you can leave now and go to bed. It was a long day for all of us,” he dismissed his son.  
“Thank you, father. Oh and about the guest room…”  
“Don’t get cocky, Hikaru.”   
“I’m sorry. Good night.” Hiki got up and left. He was overjoyed. His father had stated his support for him and Howl and he had praised him, which he felt like never happened before. Everything was going to be alright.   
When he arrived at the staircase, the guard was still posted there. Hiki went up to his room and sighed loudly. After changing into his pajamas, he slumped down on his bed. _This is going to be a restless night_, he thought. Suddenly his phone buzzed. It was a message from Howl.  
[Hikkun, I just heard steps. Was that you? Are you okay? What did your father want? Did he scold you because of me?]  
[Yeah it was me. I’m okay, I didn't get scolded, don't worry. I will tell you everything in detail tomorrow. Long story short, my mother told my uncle about us and he’s super homophobic, so I should stay away from him in the future.]  
[I’m gonna come over!]  
[No, I’m fine, it’s no biggie, really!! I never really had a good relationship with him anyway. I mean… he’s my mother’s brother after all.]  
[Alright. But don’t “no biggie” me, that doesn’t sound good. What exactly did he say?]  
[He just said that he doesn’t want me to come to his house ever again, so we’ll stay here tomorrow when everyone goes over for the New Year's visit.]  
[I see.]   
Hiki played it down because he didn’t want Howl to worry and wanted to change the subject. [Our little drive was fun in the end ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶]  
[Yes, it was fun... Not so much for that tree, though.]  
[Oh yeah, that poor tree. (╯︵╰,) ]  
[Should I feel bad for beating it up?]   
[Definitely! We should go back tomorrow and apologize. (￢_￢;) ]  
[Too bad, because I was thinking that we could spend the day at the kotatsu since no one will be here… Just the two of us.]  
[Wah, really? Count me in! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ ]  
[But what about the tree?]  
[We can write a get well soon card. (^_~) ]  
[Isn’t it a bit morbid to write a card made of paper to a tree? Could've been one of its relatives…]  
[Ah, you’re right! We should send a condolence card as well then! (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b ]  
Howl chuckled. [Great idea! Let’s write them at the kotatsu tomorrow. Good night Hikkun, sleep well. I love you.]   
[I love you too, Howl. So so much. Sleep well. ♡( ◡‿◡ )]  
They both smiled fondly and put their phones away.  
An hour and a half later Hiki was still awake. It was impossible for him to fall asleep. His body felt restless and was unable to relax. He sighed loudly when suddenly his phone buzzed again.  
[Hikkun, I can’t fall asleep, it’s impossible. This is bad. Really bad. I can’t sleep without you after all. I just can’t relax. I miss you.] Howl wrote.   
Hiki stared at his phone for a moment, his heart was beating fast as he made a daring decision. He got up, walked over to the door and opened it slowly and carefully. It creaked a little, so he stopped. His heart was pounding. He squeezed himself through the small opening and slowly shut the door again. He tiptoed across the hallway over to Howl’s room. Suddenly the floor creaked and Hiki’s heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest. He didn’t move for a good minute to see if the guard had heard him and would come up. But nothing happened, so he kept sneaking to Howl’s door. Right at the moment when he was about to open it, it got pulled open from the other side and with a sudden jerk on his arm he got dragged inside. He almost gasped loudly, but before he could do so, something covered his mouth. He realized that Howl was kissing him. They parted with a silent smack and Hiki looked into his lover’s smiling face.   
“Howl, what-”  
“Shhhh! I was about to sneak over to your room, but then I heard the floor squeaking. When the handle got pushed down I knew it was you. I’m happy that we both had the same idea, sorry if I startled you.” Howl explained, whispering, and Hiki smiled. “So you weren’t able to fall asleep either, Hikkun.”  
“No, I missed you too and I can’t sleep without you either. It's okay when we're at home and I know that you're in the study or the living room working with the doors open, but not like this. Tch… Look at us being so dysfunctional without one another,” he giggled.  
“It’s because we’re like gear wheels inside a watch. If one is missing, the other one doesn’t move, so the watch stops working.”  
"Yeah," Hiki smiled. "Let’s go to sleep, you need to rest. I’ll put my phone’s alarm to 7 am. That should be early enough to sneak back.”  
“That’s good. Gives us some time for morning cuddles,” Howl grinned.   
They laid down on the bed, facing each other, and Hiki snuggled against his lover’s firm chest.   
“The best feeling in the world...” He sighed and fell asleep instantly.   
“Indeed.” Howl smiled and drifted off too.

  
“Hikkun…?... Hiiiiikkunnnnn~…... Hikaru!” Howl's hushed but firm voice pulled Hiki from his dreams.   
“Mhh… what? Five more minutes please~...”  
“Hikkun, we overslept!”  
“What?!” Instantly wide awake, Hiki jumped out of the bed, but still in a daze, he tripped over the blanket and fell on the floor. “Ugh!”   
“Oh crap, are you okay?” Howl got up and knelt down next to him. “Did you get hurt?”   
“N-No, I’m fine. Embarrassed, but fine,” he blushed.   
Howl chuckled. “I’m sorry, but that was too funny. You have a thing with tripping over blankets, don’t you? Remember when you got sick for the first time and-”   
“Yeah, yeah. Stop mocking me and help me up please,” Hiki grumbled. Howl kissed him as an apology and supported his lover to get up from the floor.    
“Your alarm didn't work, it's already past seven. You have to go back to your room before the guard comes to check up on you.” He sighed. “I can't believe that two grown men have to act like this," he added annoyed.   
“I know, I'm sorry. I'll make up for it and make a big load of your favorite cookies when we’re back home, okay?” Hiki kissed him, walked over to the door, but before he opened it, he looked back at Howl and smiled. “I love you.”  
“I love you too. See you in a bit. Be careful with the squeaking panel in the floor.”  
Hiki nodded, slowly opened the door and left to sneak over to his room. He skillfully maneuvered around the creaking panel and made it to his door without making a sound. He put his hand on the handle and started pushing it down slowly, when he suddenly heard a deep voice behind him.   
“I knew you couldn’t be trusted. Disobeying your father, what a disgrace.”  
Hiki jolted and stopped breathing for a moment. “F-Father, I-I’m sorry, I wasn't…" He turned around. "Jeez, it’s you! How mean, scaring me like that!”  
“I knew you would mistake my voice for his, your reaction was priceless.” Hiki’s big brother Hiroki was standing right by the staircase at the other end of the hallway. “Don’t worry, the guard has already left. There was an incident and we need everyone who’s available. I just came back because I forgot something and I couldn’t resist watching you sneak around. It was too funny,” he grinned.  
“Glad that you had fun, I almost had a heart attack,” Hiki pouted while looking pale.   
“You’re lucky it was me who caught you. You know how much he hates it when we disobey his orders. Be more careful next time.” Hiroki walked over to his room that was next to Hajime’s room and opened the door. But before he walked in, he stopped for a moment and looked at Hiki. “That guy… does he treat you well?”  
“Y-Yes, he does! I’m very lucky to have him,” Hiki answered.   
“Hmh. Isn’t it the other way around?” Hiroki mumbled as he walked into his room.  
“What did you say?” Hiki asked his brother, but he shut the door without giving him an answer. Hiki shrugged and went inside his own room to get ready.   
  
An hour later, Hiki, Howl, and Hajime met for breakfast in the dining room.   
“Good morning, Hacchan,” Hiki greeted his little brother who was already sitting at the set table. The servants placed all kinds of food on a table on the side, which reminded Howl of a buffet at a hotel.   
“Ah, good morning Niichan, good morning Howl. Did you guys sleep well,” Hajime smiled as he got up and walked over to them.   
“It was quite a restless night,” Howl answered and they picked up serving trays to load them with the deliciously smelling dishes.   
“It was… Until I snuck over to his room,” Hiki giggled.   
“Yeah, I figured you would do that, hehe. It's so pointless not to allow you to sleep in the same room. But I think it's just a power thing anyway. You know, him being the big Yakuza boss and all."  
When they were done, they sat down and started eating.  
"This buffet thing is kind of weird, isn't it," Howl suddenly said.   
It's because we often have a lot of kyoudai staying over. The chef decided it's more convenient for everyone instead of her having to cook many separate meals and people having to wait for their meals. Now we can eat whenever we want. She does the same with lunch; only dinner is being served fresh because that's the only meal we have together as a family. Our parents and VIP guests get served in their rooms though," Hajime explained. "By the way, are you okay Niichan? I mean because of what happened last night. Mother really went all out on you.”  
“Yeah, I'm fine, thanks to Howl.” Hiki smiled at his lover.   
“Oh yeah, Howl-nii, you were super awesome! Thank you for standing up for my Niichan.”  
“No need to thank me, I didn’t do much.”   
“You didn’t do much? Even Hiroki-niisan was impressed, and our father obviously was too, since he let you get away with it, hehe.”   
“Ah, Hikkun, that reminds me… What did your father say last night when he called you to his office?” Howl suddenly asked. Hajime gasped. "He called you in? Whoa…"   
“Yeah, he wanted to see me. There’s some trouble with our uncle.” Hiki explained to them what had happened in detail.   
"Jeez, good thing you moved to Tokyo. Machida won't be safe for you for a while. He probably told his subordinates about it and although he himself probably wouldn't dare touch you, they might…" Hajime frowned.   
"Let them try," Howl growled.   
"It's fine. Hacchan, don't exaggerate so much. No one is going to do anything and Uncle will calm down eventually. I just feel bad for causing father so much trouble. I think it's best to stay away for a while."  
"Next time, you and Kaito can come and stay at our place. We have a guest room too, after all," Howl suggested.   
"Sure! Maybe we can come over during spring break," Hajime smiled and they continued eating. 

Shortly after they were done, Hajime left to meet up with the others outside for their New Year's visit at their Uncle's house, and Howl and Hiki retreated to the lounge to get comfy at the kotatsu. They sat across from each other, enjoying the warmth of the heating table.  
“Haa… this is great! No one is at home except for some guards outside and we can finally relax a little,” Hiki sighed pleased.   
“All that’s missing right now are some snacks and tea. Should we get some,” Howl asked.  
“Jeez, we just ate an hour ago. Are you stressed?”   
“Hm? What makes you think that?”  
“Well, you tend to stress eat. Whenever you’re stressed out you snack all the time. And I know about your little candy and chips stash in your desk at the office…”  
“Th-That… I mean… Well… I can assure you that I’m not stressed right now. I just felt like having a little snack,” Howl answered flustered and blushed. Hiki’s heart throbbed upon his lover’s reaction.   
“Hmm… That’s really too bad… I was thinking of a way to relax you, but if you’re not stressed, there’s no point, I guess.” Hiki teasingly acted disappointed.   
“Wh-What were you thinking of, Hikkun?”   
Hiki glanced at him and grinned. Then, he lifted the blanket of the kotatsu and crawled underneath it.   
“Hikkun, what are you-” Howl suddenly felt something touching between his legs and jolted.   
“Howl, stop that, you almost hit me in the face with your knee,” Hiki’s muffled voice sounded from his crotch.   
“Well, you startled me.”  
Hiki giggled. “May I continue?”  
“Are you sure? We’re in a somewhat public area… at your parents’ house…”  
Hiki opened Howl’s pants. “So? Nobody is here anyway. And this is kinda thrilling, isn’t it?” He gently pulled out Howl's dick and slid along his shaft with two fingers. Then he took it into his hand and slowly started caressing and kissing it.   
“Kh… Hikkun, this is… I can’t see what you’re doing, it’s like I’m blindfolded… Ngh!”  
Hiki began to tease Howl’s tip with his tongue and the unexpected sensation made him twitch. Hiki giggled pleased.   
“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”  
Howl’s dick was now half erect. Hiki kept pumping with his hand and then decided to put it in his mouth. He was excited, he just wished he could see his lover’s face. Howl flinched again and panted. Hiki was sucking him off enthusiastically, making more noise than usual to arouse his lover even more. Then, all of a sudden the door to the lounge opened. Howl’s heart stopped and he yelled: “U-Ueda-san!! What are you doing here?” Fortunately, Hiki reacted immediately and stopped moving.  
“Well, this is my house, Howl-san,” he answered, obviously displeased with Howl's reaction.   
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude, I was just surprised to see you. I thought you were at your brother-in-law’s house.” Howl would’ve sworn that he had never been so anxious in his life before. If they'd be caught by Hiki's father… He didn't even want to imagine the consequences of that. His fully erect cock was still inside Hiki’s mouth, he didn't dare to move even an inch. Howl was sending prayers to all the gods he knew that Yasuhiro would leave quickly. He would have probably killed them, disowned Hiki and killed them again if he found out.  
“Where’s my son?”  
“He… He went to get snacks and tea,” was his brief reply.   
“I see. This is the first time we’re in a room together without my son. I would like to use the opportunity to talk to you about him and his current life a little.” Yasuhiro slowly walked over to the kotatsu, Hiki's heart was racing as he heard his father's steps coming closer. “I will join you for a minute to warm up a little, it's freezing cold outside today.”  
Howl and Hiki both panicked.  
“Ah, Ueda-san, don't you have to leave? Isn't your family waiting for you?”   
“It's fine, but thank you for your concern," he glared at Howl.  _ That's it _ , Howl thought.  _ We're screwed _ . Yasuhiro bent over to sit down, but then suddenly the door opened and someone barged into the room.   
“Father, there you are. Are you ready? I found the papers and everything else. We should hurry and go back, they're waiting for us.” Hiroki had just unknowingly saved them from exposure. Yasuhiro sighed as he got back up.   
“Too bad, Howl-san. I guess I have to leave now after all. We’ll talk another time.” Yasuhiro turned around and left.   
Before Hiroki closed the door behind them he paused and said: “Hey, blondie.”  
"What?" Howl glared at him.  
Hiroki cleared his throat. "Thank you for what you did last night. I guess you're not so bad after all."  
“Thanks…?”   
"Please take good care of him in the future too. He… deserves happiness."  
"You don't have to tell me that."  
Hiroki nodded thoughtfully. “Oh, and tell Hikaru to turn down the heat of the Kotatsu.”  
“Huh?” Howl’s and Hiki’s hearts skipped a beat.  
“Your face is all flushed and you're sweaty... Would be highly inconvenient if you fainted from the heat, so tell him to turn it down when he comes back.”  
“Oh… yeah, I will,” Howl mumbled relieved.  
"See you, blondie." Hiroki turned around and left. Finally, Hiki was able to release Howl's half-hard dick with a loud gasp.   
“Hikkun, are you okay?" He lifted the blanket.   
“Yeah, I'm fine, but my jaw is a little sore,” he grinned.   
“Get out of there, now,” Howl ordered him.   
“Ehh… But we're not done…” Hiki pouted as he wiped some saliva from his chin and moved away from Howl's lap.   
“I'll go and take care of it in the bathroom,” he grumbled, closed his pants and got up. Hiki quickly crawled out from underneath the kotatsu and got up as well.   
“B-But Howl…”  
“As I said, I'll go and get rid of… this. And you… go and get some snacks. A lot of them. Bring chocolate.” He sighed and left the lounge limping, leaving behind a sad-faced Hiki, asking himself if he had gone too far.   
“And by the way…” Howl appeared again and peeked inside the room. “I will get my revenge as soon as we get back home, got it?” He pushed his glasses up with one finger and shut the door.   
Hiki giggled relieved. “Yessir!”

When Howl came back, Hiki had set the table up neatly. There were tangerines, three bowls with different kinds of chips, mochi, dango and a plate with different variations of chocolates and cookies. He was already sitting there, waiting for his lover to arrive.   
“Welcome back,” he sparkled. “Come, sit. I brought everything I thought you’d like. And I made white jasmine tea, I hope that's okay. No shenanigans this time, promise,” he giggled. Howl smiled and sat down next to him. The huge flat screen TV was turned on and they enjoyed a movie while snacking, and later they went to Ramen Jiji's for lunch and in the evening they had dinner at a restaurant. Afterwards, they retreated to Hiki's room to get cozy and cuddle. A while later, it had gotten pretty late already, someone knocked on the door. But it wasn't just normal knocking, it was rhythmical, almost like morse code.   
“Yes, we're fully dressed, Hacchan. Jeez. Come in," Hiki answered.   
“We’re back!” Hajime greeted them smiling.  
“Okay, what just happened,” Howl asked confused after they had sat up.   
Hiki giggled. “Remember how I told you that no one was allowed to come to my room when I was sick? Hacchan and I often used morse code to communicate through the wall,” Hiki answered. “He found a book about it at the school library, so we learned how to use it, it was fun."  
"That was… pretty smart of you, Hajime…"  
"Hey, why do you sound so surprised?" Hajime pouted. He walked over to his brother's bed and slumped down next to their feet. “Ugh, I’m sooo tired. This visit took way too long.”  
"Hacchan… Did uncle say anything," Hiki asked his brother worried.   
"Well, he said a lot... He was super mad and kept ranting about you, it was really annoying." Hajime rolled his eyes and sighed.   
"Thought so... I’m sorry for causing everyone so much trouble. Father has to deal with a lot as it is, and now he also has to deal with  _ him _ .” Hiki replied sad. Howl caressed his back to comfort him.   
“Meh, he’s just a hot-headed idiot. Everyone knows that, especially father, so don’t worry too much. Anyway, it's really too bad that today was your last full day here. We didn’t really get to spend much time together.” Hajime frowned.   
“How about we go out for breakfast tomorrow?” Howl suggested. “We’ll have to leave around noon since I have to prepare some papers for work and such, and there will be a lot of traffic if we leave later, but we can go out before. Kaito too, of course, my  treat.”   
“Oh thanks, that’s a great idea! I’ll go and call him. I wanted to anyway, I miss him and seeing you two lovebirds doesn’t make it any better,” Hajime stuck out his tongue, jumped up and walked over to the door. “Oh, by the way, there was an incident with another clan, so father and Onii-chan had to head over to the next town. They’ll stay overnight and they took most of the kyodai with them. There are only some guards outside to secure the house.” He winked, grinned and closed the door.   
Hiki looked up at Howl, sparkling. “No sneaking around tonight, yay!”  
“Your room or the guest room?” Howl asked, smiling.   
“Hmm… the bed in the guest room is bigger, so let’s stay there.”  
"Not that we need much space, though. I'll be all over you tonight," Howl grinned.   
"No way! We can't do that here!"   
"Oh, so now you mind doing pervy things here," Howl teased his lover.   
"Th-That's… Well… Everyone will be home tonight, so that's different and therefore a definite no."  
“Not even a little touching?”  
“No,” Hiki replied stubbornly.   
“Seriously Hikkun, you’re killing me.”  
Hiki turned to Howl and kissed him. “When we’re back home I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, okay,” he whispered seductively.  
“Deal!!”   
Hiki giggled and they got up to get ready for bed.   
Since Howl preferred to shower in the morning, he was done quickly and already in bed when Hiki joined him. He was typing on his phone.  
“Work?” Hiki asked while rubbing his hair with a towel as he walked over to the bed and sat down. Howl put away his phone after he had finished typing, sat up and took the towel from Hiki to continue drying his hair for him. He gently massaged his lover’s head.   
“That was Kinsley. He told me that his eldest daughter got engaged tonight.”  
“Oh really? That’s great! I hope Marie will be happy forever,” he smiled. “I love weddings, they’re so romantic… But the only one I’ve ever been to was Harumi’s. She was a beautiful bride.”  
“Is that so… Well, we’re invited, so I’m glad you think that way.”   
“Wah, I can’t wait,” Hiki sparkled. Howl loved how he could get so excited over the most trivial things. But he himself wasn’t a big fan of weddings, so he wasn’t thrilled, although he was happy for his best friend.    
“I think your hair has dried enough. Want to spoon?”   
Hiki nodded eagerly.    
“Come here…” Howl lifted the blanket, Hiki slipped underneath it, snuggled his back against his chest and Howl wrapped his arms around him. “Hmm… you smell so good,” Howl mumbled and Hiki suddenly yawned.    
“Oh sorry, hehe. But it’s so warm and cozy, better than any kotatsu.”  
“True. But still, we should get our own.”  
“That would be great, but… don’t you think it would clash with the style of the furniture in the living room?”  
“Well, the way you're using it, we should probably put it in the bedroom anyw- Ouch! Hey, don't pinch me!” Howl chuckled.   
“Jerk.” Hiki blushed.   
They went silent, but after a while, suddenly the already half asleep Hiki asked: “Howl… what do you want to do on your birthday next week?”   
“Hmm… I'll have work and Uni starts on Monday, so just dinner somewhere is fine.”  
“Eh~... But that's nothing special, we go out for dinner all the time,” Hiki mumbled.  
“Everything is special when I’m with you.”  
“No, it needs to be something really, really special...”   
Howl took a moment to answer, so Hiki thought he had fallen asleep. He closed his eyes too and started drifting off, but then he whispered: “How about dinner and afterwards you strip for me like in one of those movies. With music and everything” before he finally fell asleep. Hiki opened his eyes wide in shock. Did he hear that right? Did Howl just seriously tell him to strip? Or was he just sleep talking? Hiki's mind was overflowing with all kinds of thoughts. Would he even be able to do that? But how? He had never done anything like that. He hadn’t even danced before, he had no sense of rhythm at all. His heart was beating fast. He would make an absolute fool of himself if he tried, he was sure of it. Howl would probably laugh at him... Some time passed, but he wasn’t able to fall asleep. Howl’s breathing had become even, so Hiki could tell that he was fast asleep. He slowly crawled out of the bed, careful not to disturb his lover’s sleep, and sat down on the floor in front of it. He took his Phone from the nightstand and turned it on. He tapped on the web browser icon and typed “Striptease beginners guide” into the search bar and the first page that was suggested to him was titled “Striptease for dummies”. Hiki sighed, clicked it and started reading.

  
Suddenly the alarm on his phone went off. He hadn’t noticed how much time had passed while he was doing his research, but it had already become morning and he hadn’t slept for a single minute.   
“Mhh… Hikkun,” Howl mumbled sleepily as he reached out and searched for his lover with his hand.   
“Ah, yeah, I’m here!”   
Howl raised his head.  
“Why are you sitting on the floor? Get up, you’re gonna catch a cold!”  
_ If you knew that I sat here for hours, you would kill me, _ Hiki thought. “Oh, yeah, sorry. Did you sleep well,” he asked as he got up and sat down on the bed next to his sleepy lover.   
“Not really. I don’t feel as refreshed as I usually do.”  
“It’s probably the bed. But tonight we’re gonna sleep in our own bed again.” Hiki leaned over and kissed Howl.   
“I can’t wait, but sleeping isn’t exactly what I’m planning to do there,” he replied after they parted and grinned.  
“Pervert,” Hiki smirked, kissed him again and got up. “Ugh, so stubbly. Come on, let’s get ready and leave for breakfast, I’m starving.”   
“Coming…” Howl said that, but he stayed in bed, busy with staring at Hiki’s cute butt.   
“Hey, stop that,” Hiki glared at him playfully and tried to cover his behind with his hands. He was only wearing one of Howl’s pajama tops and a pair of tighty whiteys. The always shared his PJs. Hiki wore the top and Howl the bottoms.   
“Never. It’s one of my favorite sights,” he smiled dreamily.    
“Why thank you. Now move your own butt, Mister,” Hiki scolded him jokingly and left the room to go to the bathroom.    
Howl leaned back and sighed. “Gosh, I’m really the luckiest man on earth…” Then he got up and followed his boyfriend. 

About an hour later, Howl, Hiki, Hajime and Kaito left to have breakfast at an all you can eat restaurant downtown that Hajime had suggested. Hiki chose his favorite foods like Miso soup, grilled salmon and avocado. Howl stuck with coffee, eggs, and bacon. But after Hiki scolded him for his unhealthy food choices, he added some vegetables to his plate and his lover smiled approvingly.   
“You’re acting like a married couple, it’s kinda gross,” Hajime remarked as they sat down at one of the booths.   
“Huh? What do you mean,” Hiki asked.   
“Just take it as a compliment,” his brother replied.  
Hiki and Howl glanced at each other and Hiki blushed.   
“See, that was super gross.”  
“Hacchan, don’t say that,” Hiki scolded his younger brother.  
“But I mean it in a good way!” He giggled.  
“Don’t listen to him. He’s just annoyed because we won’t be able to see each other for two weeks,” Kaito intervened.    
“What? But why,” Hiki asked surprised.   
“My grandma wants me to visit her in Okinawa. My father said that she’s pretty old and they don’t know how much time she has left, so I can’t say no,” he explained.   
“It really sucks. I mean we don’t see each other every single day like you two, but the longest break we had was for three days,” Hajime whined.   
“What about school, though?”   
“Well Hiki… I won’t visit a University, so… it doesn’t really matter. After the last semester has ended, I will be done with school,” he shrugged.   
“But what are you going to do?”   
“I’ll start working full time at the konbini. I’m working there to better my pocket money since I was a kid, as you know, so they offered me a full-time job. They said I have the potential to become the manager one day. I know it’s not much, but I don’t have the chance to get a full scholarship and we just don’t have the money to pay for all the fees. But it’s fine, really. I like working there. It’s fun and the wage isn’t bad. After I got a permanent position there, I will earn enough money to support my dad and maybe I can save up a little bit for when I move out…”   
“So you got a plan and a goal, that’s great,” Hiki smiled.    
“Yeah,” Kaito returned his friend’s smile.    
“I’m gonna pick a Uni nearby, so we can still see each other,” Hajime grinned. “I don’t really want to go, but father is forcing me to. He already has a position for me in the family business.” He rolled his eyes.    
“What is it,” Howl asked.    
“He wants me to become an accountant since I'm good with numbers. But… it’s boring.”   
“Your math skills are far above average, it would be such a waste not to make it your profession," Kaito said.   
“Yeah, but… Oh well, I’m sure it will be fine. By the way, the food here is amazing, isn’t it?” He changed the topic. 

After breakfast, they went back to the house and Hiki and Howl picked up their luggage. Kaito and Hajime waited at the car to see them off.   
“We’ll miss you guys,” Hajime said and hugged his brother.  
“We will miss you too,” Hiki replied, let go of his brother and hugged Kaito as well. Then they got into the car, fastened their seatbelts, Howl started the car and took Hiki’s hand. “Ready to go home, Hikkun?”  
Hiki nodded smiling. “Let’s go back home.”


	10. Howl's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time these two are spending a birthday together, and Hiki is excited and eager to make it the best birthday ever! Maybe a little too eager? ^^

“Finally, we're back home,” Hiki sighed as they entered the condo. “I’ll unpack, do the laundry and make some sandwiches for lunch,” Hiki announced happily.   
“Hikkun, aren’t you tired? You barely slept in the past few days, go and rest a little.”   
“I’m fine. I’m happy to be back home. Lazing around all day is nice from time to time, but now I want to be productive and take care of the laundry… and you,” he smiled.   
“Alright,” Howl sighed. He knew it was pointless to argue with Hiki about things like that, he was too stubborn. He was just a busy bee; he tried to accept that. “I’ll bring the luggage to the bedroom and start working.” He kissed his lover and did so.   
After Hiki was done with the laundry, he joined Howl in their home office with some sandwiches for lunch. He needed to study and refresh his memories since Uni was going to start again on Monday, but when Howl was done with his paperwork and turned around to tell Hiki, he found him sound asleep over his books. “Good grief, Hikkun,” he whispered. “You should listen to me once in a while…” He picked him up carefully and brought him over to their bedroom. “Sleep well, my love.” He kissed him on the forehead, tucked him in and went to the living room to watch some TV before going to bed.

Hiki slept through the whole night, without waking up once. The next morning he woke up with a growling stomach. "Ugh… So hungry," he groaned. He turned around to snuggle up against Howl for a moment before getting up to make breakfast, but the bed was empty, so he went looking for him. “Howl,” Hiki called out as he checked every room, but his lover was nowhere to be found. Then, he noticed a sheet of paper on the coffee table in the living room. He picked it up and read it. “Good morning, my love, I hope you slept well. I’m downstairs at the office, I have to go through some contracts for a meeting tomorrow, but I’ll be back around noon. There’s breakfast for you in the fridge. I miss you.” Hiki smiled lovestruck and walked over to the kitchen. Howl had prepared Omurice with a heart drawn on it with ketchup and a fruit salad on the side. Hiki sparkled, took the plate and the bowl, and sat down at the dining table to enjoy his meal. Afterwards he took a shower, got dressed and grabbed his Uni books to study.   
Earlier that morning, at the office, after Howl checked if everything had been cleaned up properly after the New Year’s Eve party, he sat down at his desk, started his computer and sighed loudly. Before he met Hiki, his desk was where he had spent most of his time and he was completely fine with that. His company was his baby and had Number One priority. But now he wanted nothing more than to spend time with his lover. He chuckled at the thought of how much he and his life had changed in the past nine months. He sighed again and started working, hoping he'd finish up before noon. A few hours later he was almost done. "Alright, the last contract to check, finally," he said to himself and started reading. “Crap… What the heck…? No, no, that’s not right! Why are there so many mistakes? Who the hell was working on this? I’ll have to redo everything, are you kidding me?!” he yelled at the papers.  _ Damn it, there goes my quality time on my last day off with Hikkun _ ,” he thought, clicked his tongue in frustration, shoved the papers into his briefcase and went back upstairs. It was almost noon, and he wanted to keep his promise to be back at that time, so he decided to work on the contract from home.   
"Surprise!!" Hiki yelled when Howl entered the living room, welcoming him with open arms. “Welcome to our fortress of coziness,” Hiki announced proudly. He had spread out all their blankets and piled up their pillows on the big sofa. He had even brought their beddings over and the table was covered in bowls filled with all kinds of snacks and sweets. Howl was flabbergasted. “It’s the coziest, snuggliest place in the world and we’re gonna stay there all day! Since our busy everyday life will start again tomorrow, I thought this would be nice for our last day of vacation. I also prepared snacks and beverages, as you can see. And we’re gonna order in for lunch and dinner, so we don’t have to leave our fortress unless we have to go to the bathroom. Well, and to open the door when we receive the food, hehe. What do you say? I mean, it’s not like we never spend time on the couch together, but this is the next level,” Hiki sparkled.  
Howl’s bad mood was gone instantly. His heart jumped at the sight of his lover’s excitement and he was happy about his thoughtfulness. He actually should have gone straight to their study to work out those errors in the contract, but…  _ Screw it _ , he thought,  _ I can just pull an all-nighter _ .    
“Alright, Hikkun. Let’s move into our fortress! I’ll go change, you can pick a movie in the meantime.”   
“Yessir!” Hiki saluted, smiling, and grabbed the remote as Howl headed over to the bedroom. They spent the day cuddling, snuggled up in their blankets, surrounded by pillows and more blankets, watching their favorite movies. Around 11 pm Hiki had fallen asleep during a Ghibli movie, so Howl carried him over to the bedroom, tucked him in and went to their study to work.   
Since the holidays were over, Hiki's alarm went off at 6 am. But again, he woke up to Howl’s side of the bed being cold and empty. Normally he woke up an hour before Howl on workdays, so it was weird to him that his lover wasn't there. He got up and found him in the kitchen. “Ah, good morning, Hikkun.” Howl walked over to the sleepy Hiki, handed him a cup of coffee and kissed him.   
“Good morning… Why are you awake already, is something wrong?”  
“No, I woke up and didn’t feel like sleeping anymore, so I made coffee and was just about to make breakfast too,” he lied. Hiki glared at him, one eyebrow raised in suspicion. Without saying anything he left the kitchen and stormed back in a few moments later.   
“Liar! I knew it, you haven’t slept at all,” he frowned.   
“What? How do you know?” Howl asked baffled.   
“I just checked the study. The bowls we used yesterday for the snacks are piled up in there with nothing left but crumbs. That means you worked all night and stress-ate the leftovers.” Hiki’s expression suddenly softened. “You actually had to work yesterday, but you postponed it because of me and had to pull an all-nighter, right?” He walked over to the speechless Howl and hugged him.  
“You’ve got some nice deduction skills there, Hikkun, I’m impressed.”  
“I just know you pretty well. I’m sorry that you had to stay up all night because of me. I’ll make up for it, I promise. So now sit down and rest as long as you still can, your day will be awfully busy. I’m gonna prepare an energizing breakfast and lunch bento for you, and tonight we're gonna go to bed early.”  
“But…”  
“No buts, go sit. Take your phone and read the news or something.” Hiki gently pushed him out of the kitchen and put on his apron.   
“No butts? How mean! ...Your naked butt in that apron would look so cute,” Howl grinned stupidly.   
“What did you say? Sorry, I didn't hear you over the clanking pots.”   
“Nothing, nothing,” he replied and turned around to leave. “Hmm… Naked apron... Now that would make a nice birthday gift, hehe,” Howl mumbled, thinking Hiki wouldn’t hear him, but he did...  
“Tch. Naked apron, striptease… Would you make up your mind already…” Hiki muttered flustered after Howl was gone.

When Hiki was on his way to Uni after they had breakfast -the campus was only a 20-minute walk from home so he always walked there-, he received a message from Howl.   
[You’ve been oddly quiet during breakfast and afterwards. Are you okay? Or are you mad at me for lying? If that’s the case, I’m sorry... I just didn’t want you to feel guilty since it was my own decision to spend the day with you instead of working.]  
Hiki sighed and started typing his reply.  
[As if I’d be mad because of something like that. I was just going through some Uni stuff in my head for my first lecture, that’s all. I love you, please take care and don’t overwork yourself. I miss you.]  
[I'm glad to hear that. I love you too, Hikkun. Can't wait to see you tonight. I miss you too.]  
Hiki smiled and put his phone back in his pocket. He had lied to Howl, but he could have never told him what was really on his mind. Hiki had no idea how to strip. That was a problem already, but then Howl had also mentioned that naked apron thing and it seemed to be something he'd really like him to do. He wanted the first birthday they would spend together to be special, so he made it his goal to fulfill his lover's wishes. However, he was worried that he might make a fool of himself.   
When he reached Uni, Hiki had to pause those thoughts for the time being, since he needed to focus on his studies. He had three lectures on Mondays. The first one started at 8:30 am and the last one ended at 3 pm. Afterwards, he went straight to work.    
Normally, Howl picked him up after his late shift, but he had called Hiki earlier to tell him that he wouldn’t make it and would be home late, so Hiki went home by himself and had a sandwich and some fruit for dinner. While he was eating, he wanted to use the opportunity to do some research. “Okay, let’s see,” he said to himself as he took his phone. He searched for a moment, but then he found what he was looking for. The research he did on the internet about striptease that night back at his parents' house was interesting, but too dry and too theoretical. He needed some inspiration, so he looked up video tutorials. “Sexy dance moves for men - How to lap dance. Bingo!” Hiki tapped the link to the video and the male instructor started talking. He was obviously American, and although Hiki’s English wasn’t the best, he was able to understand him well.   
“Welcome to our first lesson on sexy dance moves for a male lap dance. Even if you’re a bit clumsy, you’ll be able to bedazzle your special someone with these moves!”   
Hiki got excited. He definitely was clumsy, so this sounded promising.  
“The first thing I’ll demonstrate is a male body roll from the chest, through the stomach and all the way down to the hips. Now get up and try it with me.”  
Hiki paused the video, took a bite from his sandwich and got up.  
“You gotta bend your knees, lean back a little bit and…” The instructor performed the dance move smoothly and Hiki immediately turned off his phone.   
“Nope. No way I’m able to do that,” he announced and sat back down. “Dammit, I’m gonna look like a caterpillar on ecstasy,” he muttered. But it was Howl’s birthday, so shouldn’t he at least try? Hiki felt torn. He leaned his head on his arm and pushed the plate away.  _ Maybe if I just play music and undress slowly… technically that would be something like a striptease too, right _ , he asked himself and sighed loudly. Fortunately, he had also bought a gift for his lover, so in case he failed, he would at least have something decent for him. It was a titanium watch they once saw in the window of a jewelry store during a shopping trip. Howl had looked at it for quite a while, but he got a phone call that distracted him and he ended up not buying it. It was pretty pricey, but for the following months Hiki had taken every shift in the Café he was able to get to earn enough money to buy the watch, and to treat Howl for dinner on his birthday. It was even enough to add a little engraving on the back. Hiki couldn’t wait to give it to Howl.   
  
Then, finally, the big day had come. It was January 7th, and due to their busy schedules they weren’t able to spend much time together since the New Year’s holidays, so in the end they both decided to take the day off and spend it together. Fortunately, Howl’s birthday was on a Wednesday and Hiki had no lectures on that day. He usually worked from 10 to 5, but he was able to switch shifts with one of his co-workers. Howl had trouble taking the day off, but Kinsley managed to clear his schedule. “It’s your birthday present, enjoy,” he had said. But he had to work very late the day before, so after Hiki woke up, he turned off Howl’s alarm and snuck out of the bedroom. He had decided to do something special and cook a full British breakfast. Baked beans on toast, sausages, sunny side up eggs, bacon, mushrooms, fried tomatoes, and tea. Hiki arranged everything neatly on a foldable dinner tray and added one of the chocolate caramel muffins he had made the day before. Then he put a little candle on it, took the tray and slowly walked over to the bedroom. Howl was still sound asleep, but it was 10 already, so he had to wake him up for them to have enough time to do all the things they had planned for the day. Hiki placed the tray on the big sofa next to the door and pushed a button on the wall to raise the automatic blinds. Little by little, the room got flooded with sunlight.  
“Howl?” Hiki whispered into his lover’s ear. “Wake up, it’s past ten already~” But Howl didn’t move, so Hiki caressed his arm. “Howl… Your breakfast is getting cold...” Still nothing. “Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess.” Hiki walked over to the end of the bed, lifted the blanket and crawled underneath it. Howl was lying on his back with spread legs, which gave Hiki easy access to his target - Howl’s crotch. He licked his lips as he came closer and gently pulled down Howl’s underwear. It was pretty dark underneath the blanket, so Hiki couldn’t see well. He carefully palpated his lover’s lower region. Oh, it’s a little hard already, he noticed and giggled. He caressed Howl’s dick with the palm of his hand, then held it and licked along his shaft all the way up to the tip where he left a kiss.  
“Ngh…” Howl jolted, but he didn’t say anything, so Hiki assumed that it still wasn’t enough to wake him up. He teased Howl’s tip with his tongue and devoured his boyfriend’s dick. Hiki gently but eagerly sucked on it as he slowly moved his head up and down, pumping the lower half of the shaft with his hand. Howl’s dick became harder.   
“Nh… haa… Wh-What the heck…” Howl had finally woken up. He blinked and looked around confused. He was trying to process what was happening as he felt a pleasant sensation in his lower region. “Hikkun…?” He lifted the blanket. “Shit, what are you doing?”   
"Goog mohmim," Hiki greeted him with a cheeky smile and sped up his movements. “Damn it… Hikkun, move away, I’m gonna- KH!” Howl couldn’t hold it in any longer. The sight of his sexy boyfriend sucking him off paired with the pleasure and his sleepiness were too much. He jolted and groaned as he climaxed into his lover’s voracious mouth. He quickly sat up while Hiki released his now limp cock with a smack and swallowed. “Happy Birthday, Howl,” he grinned.  
“Dammit, Hikkun…”   
“What? Did you not like it?” Hiki looked at him with big puppy eyes as he sat up which made Howl’s heart throb.   
“I-I liked it, of course I did. You’re really good at it...” He reached out and wiped some saliva and cum from Hiki's chin and kissed him. “Thank you.”  
“Yay, I’m glad,” he sparkled, when a loud growling sound suddenly interrupted them.  
“Wow, you must be starving, Howl. But no wonder, it’s past 10 am.”  
“What? Did I forget to set my alarm yesterday?”  
“No, I turned it off because I wanted you to sleep in. But I made breakfast. Wait a second, I put the tray over there...” Hiki climbed out of bed and suddenly Howl gasped out loud.  
"Holy shit, Hikkun!"  
Hiki jolted and turned around. "What? What is it?! What happened?"  
“H-Hikkun… what… are you wearing…?!”  
“Oh… right… An… an apron,” Hiki blushed. Before bringing in the food, he had taken off his clothes and put on the apron. "Please don't laugh, okay? You mentioned it the other day… the naked apron thing… so I thought-"   
"Hikkun, why would I laugh? You look super sexy! I want to do you. Now! Come over here!"   
Hiki obviously hit Howl's kink bullseye. He was happy, but it seemed that he was a little too successful.   
"We can't! We'd end up doing it all day and I'd be too tired to go out tonight."  
"So what? We can just stay here and order in."  
"But… I’ve planned so much for today…” He sighed. “It's your birthday, so I want it to be special. I have scheduled everything and made reservations and stuff…”  
“Oh, I had no idea. In this case, of course, we’ll go with your original plans,” Howl smiled.  
“Yay! Thank you.” Hiki smiled, took the tray and brought it over to him. He placed it over his lap and kissed him. “Wait, except you’re tired… if you’re tired I will cancel everything.”    
“I’m not tired, Hikkun. I mean I’ve slept in, I woke up to… well…” He grinned and Hiki blushed. “And now I have this amazing breakfast. Wow, look at this, it’s all British breakfast food! Thank you so much, Hikkun. It’s already the best birthday I've ever had.”   
“I’m happy to hear that you’re happy,” he sparkled. “And on top of that, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me tonight, how about that?”  
“Whatever... I... want?” Howl’s eyes widened.  
“Yup,” Hiki smiled.   
“Anything? No matter what? All night long?”    
Hiki blushed. “Y-Yeah…” His heart started racing in anticipation just from Howl’s determined expression. “But now shush and eat while I put my clothes back on.” He turned around and left the bedroom, while Howl stared at his wiggling but firm little butt. He sighed lovestruck, looked at his opulent meal and smiled. “I’m so damn lucky…” he said to himself and started eating.   
When he was done, he took the tray and brought it to the kitchen where Hiki was busy preparing their lunch bento. "Ah, you're done. Was it good?"   
"It was awesome as always, thank you so much, Hikkun," Howl replied, kissed him and then hugged him from behind.   
"I'm happy to hear that," Hiki sparkled. “Hey, I can’t move around like this…”   
“Just a minute. I need a Hikkun recharge,” Howl mumbled as he started nuzzling his lover’s nape tenderly. Hiki shivered.   
"So, what are we going to do today? You still haven't told me, but since I'm the driver, I should know, right?"    
“Ngh… I can’t talk to you like this…”   
“Why not?” Howl kissed his soft skin.   
“It’s… distracting…” he huffed.   
“Okay, I’ll keep that for tonight, then.” Howl let go of his melting lover and sat down on a bar chair at the end of the kitchen counter, as Hiki tried to collect himself.   
"Okay...” He cleared his throat and continued working on their bento. “So, first we're going to visit the Sky Tree. Afterwards we're gonna stroll through the park nearby and have lunch there. I know it's winter, but I thought it'd be romantic and I'll pack a blanket just in case. Then, we're going to go to the aquarium and afterwards we have a reservation at Le petit fleur, that French restaurant you told me about. You said you’d love to go there, so we will. And after that, we're coming back home where I'll have a little surprise for you." Hiki unwillingly blushed.   
"Sounds great, especially that last part. And like this, you’ll get around a little too. You haven’t seen much of Tokyo yet, right?”  
“Yeah... Is it selfish of me to do these things on your birthday?” Hiki frowned. “I thought they're perfect for a date, but if you’d like to do something else instead...”  
“Absolutely not. I’ve lived in Tokyo for so many years now, but I haven’t been to any of those places. I’m excited to go there with you, so when are we leaving?"   
Hiki's expression brightened up. "As soon as you're ready. I have a bag packed with everything we need and our bento are ready too, so I’m good to go."  
"Alright, I'm gonna go and get dressed then.” Howl got up, kissed Hiki and went to the bathroom. Half an hour later they left and headed to their first destination, the Tokyo Tower. Hiki was very excited. Howl thought he was acting like a kid that’s visiting a chocolate factory and ended up paying more attention to his lover than to the view.    
After they had spent a little time there, and Hiki had taken pictures to send them to his brother and Kaito, they walked over to a park nearby. Hiki picked a bench near a pond as their lunch place and took out their bento. The two of them ate their meal with relish while watching some ducks and enjoying the scenery. Hiki had been worried it might be too cold, but the sun was shining and the blanket he brought wasn't needed. He was happy that everything had gone well so far. At the aquarium, Hiki turned back into an excited kid and Howl had a blast watching his hyper lover gazing at the fish in amazement, accompanied by many ‘Ooh’s' and ‘Aah’s'. It was Hiki's first time visiting an aquarium and he obviously had a great time. Their reservation at the restaurant was at 6 pm and they made it just in time. They were almost late because Hiki was too fascinated by the sharks and Howl was too fascinated by Hiki. The restaurant was known for its exquisite French food. Howl had heard about it from a client a while back and had told Hiki about it, who secretly made a reservation on the same day. He was lucky that it was months in advance because they were pretty booked out already.   
“Thank you for making a reservation here, Hikkun. Thank you for the whole day, I had so much fun,” Howl said after they sat down at their table.   
“I’m so happy you liked it. And I’m relieved too,” he smiled  
“It was perfect.” He took Hiki’s hand and kissed it. “Hikkun, why are you blushing?”  
“B-Because… you’re looking at me like this.”  
“Like what?”  
“This warm and soft expression that you only show to me and it makes me fall in love with you all over again every time…” Hiki mumbled and blushed even more.    
Howl’s heart skipped a beat and now his own cheeks started glowing. “Dammit, you’re really too cute, Hikkun.”  
“W-We should look at the menu.” Hiki withdrew his hand flustered and took the card. “Oh my… I don’t know any of these dishes… They’re all in French! I don't know what to pick…” Hiki looked lost.  
“It’s okay, let me order for you. I know what you like and dislike after all.”    
Hiki nodded, thankful. Only a few moments later their waiter greeted them and Howl ordered their meals. “J'aimerai deux soupes à l'oignon en entrée, puis deux confits de canard pour le repas et pour les desserts, deux tartes Tatins, s'il vous plaît. Nous laissons le choix du vin à votre sommelier.”  
“Entendu, merci beaucoup,” the waiter thanked them and left.   
“What the heck was that?!” Hiki was stunned. “Since when do you speak French?”  
“I learned it in school back in England, but it’s a little rusty to be honest. Since the waiter greeted us in French, I thought I might as well... I hope we’ll get the dishes I wanted, though.” Howl raised one eyebrow.  
Hiki giggled. “What did you intend to order?”  
“I ordered two onion soups as our first course, as the main course we’ll get duck cooked in its own fat, which is an absolutely delicious dish, I had it once before. And we'll have it with potatoes fried in duck fat as well. It’s great. And for dessert, we’ll eat tarte Tatin. It’s a pastry with caramelized apples. It’s really good, I hope you’ll like it.”  
“Ooh, that sounds great, I can’t wait,” Hiki sparkled.   
It didn’t take long for their entrées to arrive. Hiki enjoyed every bite of their meals and couldn’t stop praising the food.   
"Hikkun, you sound like I do when I eat your cooking," Howl chuckled.    
When they finished their dessert, Hiki leaned back and sighed contentedly.   
“That was amazing. I seriously need to learn how to cook these dishes. It will be my next big project,” he decided.   
"It's gonna be even better coming from you, I'm looking forward to it."  
"Well, I'm not a chef, so I can’t guarantee anything, but I'll do my best, hehe."   
"You don’t have to be a professional to be a good cook. I can taste your love and compassion with every bite in every meal you make for me and you should be able to tell from my reactions how good it is."  
Hiki blushed and Howl took his hand. He smiled at him lovingly, but then Hiki suddenly jolted as he remembered something.    
"Oh jeez, I almost forgot about your gift!"   
"A gift? I thought everything we did today was my gift..."  
"It's all part of it, and so is this…" He rummaged around in his bag, pulled out a small black box and handed it to Howl. "Happy birthday," he sparkled, excited.   
Howl took the box and opened it.   
"What the… Hikkun… this is the watch I saw at the mall a while ago… It's so expensive, how did you…"   
"I worked more shifts. You didn't notice, because you were working too, hehe." He grinned proudly. "Take a look at the back."  
Howl did so and discovered the engraving; Hiki spoke out what was written on it.    
“I may not be your first crush, your first date or your first kiss, but I want to be your last everything.”   
“Forever yours, in love, Hikkun." Howl finished.   
"I'm yours, forever and always. And nothing and no one can change that. Thank you for coming into my life and making it special every day, Howl." Hiki smiled at him with teary eyes. He didn’t expect that he would get so emotional.  
"Hikkun, I… I don’t know what to say." Howl was so moved that it was hard for him to find the right words.   
"Wait, you're speechless? Hey, that’s a first!" Hiki laughed and suddenly Howl leaped forward and kissed him. Even though they were in public, Hiki didn't struggle.   
"Let's go home," Howl huffed after they parted. Hiki nodded and they asked the waiter for the check. There was a short struggle between the two love birds about who would pay for their dinner, but Hiki won by arguing that it was part of his present. Howl gave in reluctantly and they drove back home, holding hands in the car as they always did. Somehow it had become a habit, but this time Howl’s grip was tighter than usual and his palm was sweaty. Hiki could feel the tension between them, and the one hour drive felt much longer. When they arrived and got out of the car, Howl took Hiki's hand again and dragged him to the elevator. On their way up, he suddenly broke the silence. “Hikkun… remember what you said this morning?”  
“Y-Yeah…” he nodded shyly.   
“I’ll take you up on that.”  
Hiki shivered in anticipation. “I hope so,” he mumbled, blushing.   
Right after they entered the condo and shut the door, Howl grabbed Hiki by his hips, pulled him closer and kissed him passionately. Their tongues entwined and loud smacking sounds accompanied by Hiki’s huffing and soft moans filled the air. Hiki’s mind started to go blank as Howl took his face with both hands and became more eager, but suddenly he remembered something. “Ah… Howl, wait… nh… wait…” He had to gather the little strength he had left in his body to push Howl away.   
“What is it, Hikkun…?”   
His lover seemed a little irritated by the interruption, so Hiki tried to explain the reason for it quickly. “There’s one more thing I have prepared for you… I worked hard on it, so I would really like to give it to you. Sorry for ruining the mood…”  
“It’s fine.” Howl caressed Hiki’s flushed cheek and let go of him. “So what is it?”  
Realizing what he was about to do, Hiki became extremely nervous. “F-Follow me,” he mumbled and walked ahead towards the bedroom followed by a confused Howl.   
“We’re going to the bedroom after all? Well… no complaints from me,” he grinned.   
“Sit down right here.” Hiki led him to the bottom end of their bed, where Howl sat down while his lover turned on the lamps on their nightstands and then walked over to the stereo. He had prepared the music beforehand, so all he had to do was start the CD. Before he did so, he turned around to Howl and said: “I practiced, but I’m not good at dancing. I’ll do my best, so please don’t laugh.”  
“Hikkun, what are you doing?” Howl asked, still confused.   
“You wished for me to perform a striptease on your birthday, remember? So shut up and let me start before I change my mind.” Hiki blushed harder, turned on the music, and ‘You can leave your hat on’ by Joe Cocker started playing. Howl’s eyes were opened  
wide in astonishment and disbelief.  _ Is this really happening _ , he asked himself, staring at the nervous, trembling Hiki. He was wearing a dark blue suit and a light blue slipover above a white shirt. He had picked those clothes because blue was Howl’s favorite color. He tiptoed slowly from the left to the right, trying to get into the rhythm of the music while slowly taking off his jacket. And after taking it off, he turned around and carefully placed it on the big black armchair next to the fireplace right behind him.   
“Hikkun, aren’t you supposed to drop your clothes on the floor or something,” Howl asked as Hiki continued stripping.   
"But they’re gonna get all wrinkly if I do that…” he answered with a muffled voice as he tried to take off the slipover. Putting his clothes away neatly while performing a striptease was so Hiki, Howl tried his hardest not to burst out in laughter. At the same time, he had to hold back from jumping him for being so cute.   
“You’re right, I didn’t think of that.” Howl waited for a moment while Hiki still had his arms up in the air, the slipover wrapped around his head, but he had stopped moving. “Um, Hikkun… do you need help by any chance?”   
“Ouch, my ear… I think my piercing got tangled in the fabric… I’m… I’m stuck… crap! Howl, help me please,” Hiki begged, whining. Howl jumped up immediately and hurried over to help his trapped lover.   
“Wait, let me just… no wait, don’t move…” He fumbled his way into Hiki’s slipover and tried to untangle the piercing.   
“Ouch! Yeah, you found it. Just open the stud if you can… I can’t take out my arms without pulling on it. It hurts…”  
“There, I got it!” Howl opened the piercing and helped Hiki take the sweater off. “Are you okay?” Hiki nodded as Howl gently straightened his lover’s tousled hair and checked his ear. “It’s not bleeding. Does it hurt?” Howl caressed his earlobe.   
“I’m fine…” he mumbled. Howl’s heart throbbed upon his devastated expression. “I’m sorry, Howl. It was your birthday wish and I completely ruined it, I’m such a klutz. I wanted to be sexy for you, but I look like a complete idiot now.”  
“Look at me,” Howl ordered him. Hiki looked up into his lover’s ice blue, yet warm eyes. “You’re always sexy to me, Hikkun. The fact that you were willing to step out of your comfort zone this far means the world to me.”  
“But I messed up... I wanted to arouse you…”  
“Hikkun, you’re driving me nuts sometimes. I was already aroused at the restaurant! Why do you think we left so fast? That drive home was the longest hour of my life and not jumping you in the elevator because of the camera was super hard. Literally. There was no need for a strip-tease.”  
“B-But you said it at my family’s house that night when I asked you what you wanted for your birthday. You said you wanted me to strip for you…”   
“Right, I remember that… But I wasn’t being serious. You’re insanely cute and therefore super sexy already, you don’t have to do things like this. If I could, I would stay in bed with you for the rest of our lives and do you every damn hour.”  
Hiki giggled. “You’re really such a weirdo sometimes.”  
“See, that's another thing about you that’s sexy... Your smile. It makes me want to kiss you.” Howl leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his lover’s lips. “Hikkun... Can we get to the part where I can do whatever I want now?”   
“O-Okay…” Hiki's heart skipped a beat.   
“Is it okay if I continue undressing you?”   
Hiki nodded eagerly. Howl smiled and walked over to the stereo to turn it off. “Better. I want to hear you, not some music. I would also like to try something… Wait a second.” He went to their dressing room and came back with two of his ties.  
“Hikkun, would it be okay for you if I blindfolded you?”   
Hiki’s eyes widened. “B-Blindfold me? Why? I can’t see anything if you do that...”  
“Well yeah, that’s kinda the point,” Howl chuckled. “If one of your senses is being taken away, your other senses become stronger. If you can’t see anymore, you’ll feel everything more intensely.”  
“Have you done this with someone before?”  
“Never. It’s something I would only do with a partner that I trust 100% and who trusts me.”  
“I trust you.” Hiki smiled lovingly.  
“Okay. If you feel uncomfortable at any moment, let me know and I’ll take it off. Ready?”  
Hiki nodded. Howl walked behind him, gently placed one of the ties over Hiki’s eyes and tied it up in the back of his head. Hiki’s heart was pounding as everything became dark and his breathing became faster.  
“Are you scared,” Howl whispered into his ear. The unexpected sensation of his lover’s hot breath made him quiver.   
“N… No. I'm just excited… And nervous." Not being able to see what Howl was doing stirred up his blood.   
"May I proceed?" Howl whispered into his other ear. Hiki flinched.   
"Yes," he huffed.   
"So diligent…" Howl's deep voice had always been extremely erotic to Hiki, but this time it sounded even deeper and more intense. He shivered again.   
"Hikkun, you seem to enjoy this a lot,” Howl noticed as he paused unbuttoning his lover’s shirt and caressed the growing bulge in Hiki's pants.   
“Ngh…! It’s… because…”  
“Shhh, stop talking. You’re only allowed to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ from now on, understood?”  
“Y-Yes…”  
Howl took off Hiki’s shirt and let his fingers slide over his chest.   
“Nh…” Goosebumps built up all over his body.  
“Let’s get you into bed, I don't want you to fall when I take your pants off.” Howl took both of Hiki’s hands and led him over to his side of the bed. “You can lay down now and I want you to place your arms above your head.”   
He followed Howl’s orders. The way he was talking to him in this dominant yet gentle way almost drove him crazy. Suddenly, he felt something around his wrists.   
“Hm?” Hiki wanted to ask what he was doing, but Howl had told him to only say yes or no, so he stayed silent and tried to stay calm.  
“Is it too tight?” he asked when he was done tying up Hiki’s hands with the other necktie.  
“N-No...”  
“Good.” Howl moved down and removed Hiki’s pants and underwear. He took in that view for a moment. “You’re so beautiful, Hikkun.”   
Hiki felt exposed and weak, but oddly, it felt good and he was surprised by how arousing all that was to him. But still, something bothered him. Howl repeatedly let his fingers slide across his lover's chest and stomach, and he placed kisses all over his slender body.   
“Ngh… Haa… Mh...” Hiki’s moans echoed in the big room.  
“Wow, Hikkun… Your reactions are amazing and you’re leaking so much precum, are you that excited from being tied up and blindfolded?”   
Normally Hiki would have scolded Howl for his dirty talk. That was probably the reason why he had forbidden him to speak, Hiki figured. He knew that Howl did it to get him flustered, and it worked. But for some reason he wanted to be good, he wanted to be praised by his lover, so he held back and didn't say a word. Howl placed one finger on Hiki’s rock hard dick and let it slide from his wet tip over his shaft, all the way down to his entrance.   
“Nh… ah…” Hiki twitched as Howl started massaging it. His mind was about to go blank due to all the pleasure he felt.  
"Hikkun, you're so tense, seems like you're about to cum already. You’re so lewd…"  
“Kh…”  _ Whose fault do you think it is _ , Hiki thought.   
Howl smirked and went back to caressing Hiki’s chest. His fingers slid up and down, twirled around his nipples and moved back down to his dick, but he kept avoiding all his sensitive areas. He never touched Hiki's hard nipples or his throbbing dick directly. It was extremely frustrating, but somehow Hiki came closer and closer to his climax. His breathing was ragged and his whole body was covered in goosebumps.   
Howl deeply enjoyed seeing Hiki like that, although he felt a bit guilty for making his beloved boyfriend suffer that much. But he still wanted to tease him a little more, so he leaned over and brought his mouth close to Hiki's rock hard dick. Then he aimed at the downside of his tip, his most sensitive spot, and blew hard at it. He expected it to twitch, but what happened next exceeded his expectations by far.  
"Wah! HAH… AHH!" Hiki was breathing heavily as he trembled in pleasure.   
"Oh, you came? Amazing! I didn't even touch you!" Howl grinned gleefully.   
Hiki grit his teeth, holding back from cursing at his lover. Suddenly he heard a clack.   
"Hikkun, you're so naughty. Cumming all by yourself although it’s  _ my  _ birthday,” Howl complained teasingly while spilling lube in his hand.  
“Ah… Haa…” Yet another unexpected sensation made Hiki jolt. Howl touched his entrance with his fingers again, but this time he pushed two of them in.   
“Ah, but at least you're more relaxed down here now. It won't take much time to prepare you." Howl started moving his fingers in order to stretch Hiki out. He was still half-hard, but even after Howl was done, he wasn’t fully erect again, which was unusual for Hiki.  
"It should be fine now, but Hikkun, are you?”   
"No... Kh…" Hiki whimpered.   
"Does it hurt? You can talk again!" Howl caressed Hiki’s thigh.   
"Not like this… please… I don’t want to do it like this..." The fabric of the tie on Hiki's eyes turned darker as he was unable to hold back his tears of frustration. "Enough with this. I want to see you, I want to touch you. I feel so… I don’t know… lonely..." Hiki couldn’t find the right words in his emotional state. But he missed Howl, although he was right there. He missed seeing his lover’s lustful gaze, the way he closed his eyes and narrowed his eyebrows when he entered Hiki carefully. He wanted to touch his firm chest and hold onto him. “I know I said you can do whatever you want, so… sorry for ruining another birthday present…”   
Howl's heart throbbed and he immediately started to untie his lover and release him from the blindfold. He hovered over him and gently dried his tears.  
"You’re not ruining anything, Hikkun. You seemed to enjoy it, but it looks like I went a bit too far... Your eyes and wrists are red... I'm so sorry Hikkun." He gently kissed Hiki's eyes and his wrists. "Should we stop for today?"   
Hiki shook his head. "No, please continue. The foreplay felt good, and it was fine being blindfolded and tied up, but I want to see you and touch you when we do it.” He smiled. “Take me now and don’t hold back."  
"Alright, here I go…" Howl smiled back, placed his erect dick at Hiki’s entrance and slowly entered him.  
"Ngh… Ugh…" Hiki moaned, his eyes fixed on his huffing lover.  
"You’ve tightened up a lot, Hikkun… Try to relax, I don't want to hurt you… Maybe I should pull out and stretch you more..."   
"No, don't pull out, it's fine! It doesn't hurt at all."  
"Liar. You’re so stubborn sometimes. Hold onto me and try to breathe evenly." Howl gave in and kept thrusting forward, slowly and carefully, while Hiki clung onto him. After he was all the way inside, Howl decided to pause for a moment, to give Hiki's body time to adjust.  
"I’m crazy for you, Hikkun. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he huffed as he brushed a strand of hair out of Hiki’s sweaty face.   
“I love you too, Howl. So much that it almost hurts.” Hiki caressed Howl’s flushed cheek.   
“Can I move, are you ready?" he asked and his teary-eyed lover nodded in reply, so he slowly started moving.   
"Just so you know, I probably won't last long, Hikkun," Howl grunted after a few thrusts.   
"Mh… haa… I'm close too…"  
They kissed passionately and Howl started moving faster. Hiki’s mind went blank and the feeling of pure pleasure took over.   
"H-Howl, I'm…NGH… AH! AAH!"   
"KH!"   
They climaxed simultaneously, Howl slumped down on his exhausted lover and embraced him tightly. “That felt great,” he huffed.   
“Yeah, it was awesome,” Hiki replied and giggled softly.  
Howl pulled out and laid down next to him. “Come here.”  
Hiki turned around to snuggle against his lover as Howl covered them with their blanket.  
“I completely overdid it. Are you okay?”  
“I am. It felt really good and it was exciting. Just… for the last part… I prefer seeing your face.”  
“So it wasn’t all bad?”  
“No, like I just said, it was great.” Hiki grinned, nuzzled his face against Howl’s chest and they stayed silent for a few minutes.  
"Um, Howl… Can I ask you something?”   
"Anything."  
"What… what does it feel like? I mean… being inside me…"  
"Huh?" Howl was startled by Hiki’s question.   
"I just thought about it. You know that you're the first person I ever had sex with, and since I’m the bottom, I wonder what it feels like to… put it in…"  
Pressed against his chest, Hiki could feel Howl's heartbeat becoming faster.   
"Are you dissatisfied with your role in our relationship?"   
"No, no! That’s not it!" He abruptly raised his head and looked at Howl. "I'm not dissatisfied at all. You always spoil me, and you always make sure to make me feel good." He blushed. "Like today... It almost felt like it was my birthday. I just never used mine the way you do, so I was wondering… Wait, what am I even saying? I'm sorry, I'm tired so I'm thinking about weird things. Please forget what I just said, let's go to sleep." He pressed his forehead against Howl's chest to hide his embarrassment.   
"Well… it’s not that unusual for you to wonder about it, so I will answer your question. It feels hot and squishy, and when I tease you, you start twitching and squeezing me down there-”  
“Waahhh stop it!!” Hiki covered his ears with his hands. “I changed my mind, I don’t wanna hear it!”  
Howl laughed and hugged him tightly. Then he loosened his grip and gently touched Hiki’s chin to lift up his head. He looked into his flushed lover’s big eyes. “Having sex with you feels warm and soft. When we're connected like that, it feels as if we're the only two people in the world and all I can see, hear and feel is you. It's like we merge into each other. Nothing else matters nothing else exists. Seeing your expressions and reactions, hearing your voice calling out my name, feeling your warm and slender body trembling underneath me… I can’t even describe what that feels like for me. I feel complete whenever you’re with me." He smiled fondly and caressed Hiki’s glowing red cheek.   
Hiki was deeply moved, but he didn’t know what to say. “It’s unfair how good you are with words.” He kissed Howl tenderly.  
"Would you like to try it?" Howl suddenly asked.   
"Huh? Wh-What do you mean?"   
"I'm asking if you would like to put it in."  
Hiki sat up and stared at Howl questioning. "P-Put it… into whom?!"   
"Well, I obviously wouldn't let you do this sort of thing with anyone other than me, so…"  
"Me... being the top?" Hiki thought about it for a second, and as he did, his face took a glowing crimson red color.   
"I would give my soul to see what’s going on in your head right now," Howl chuckled. "I think if you blush just a tiny bit more, we can fry eggs on your face."  
"Tch, shut up. Your soul belongs to me, you can't give it away."  
"That's true. And so does my heart and my body. I'm completely yours, so you can try it if you want. I don't want you to miss out on anything. You can’t be with anyone else for the rest of your life, so the only person you can have that kind of experience with will be me."  
“Yeah, but… would it make you feel good?"  
"Hmm… I don’t know for sure, though I think I'm more comfortable with being the top… But this isn't about me."  
Howl’s utter devotion amazed and touched Hiki.   
“Well, I’m happy with how things are, so there’s no need to change anything or to try things that are outside of our comfort zones. My life is perfect as it is and… I like being the bottom. It… It feels really good.”   
“What does it feel like for you?”  
“I don’t wanna explain, it’s embarrassing.”   
“I can tell… I’m about to go and get the eggs… and bacon,” Howl chuckled.   
“Meanie!”   
“Aww, don’t pout.”  
“I’m not. I’m trying to find words. I feel… I feel so loved. I feel safe and secure. You feel warm and when I see how you look at me when you’re inside me… the love and desire in your eyes... I can’t get enough of it. I can’t get enough of you.”  
Howl kissed him. “You did great at finding words.”   
He said that, but Hiki still felt so much more he couldn’t express with words.    
“Say Hikkun… does it hurt when I put it in? An honest answer, please.”  
“W-Well… you always prepare me very well…”  
“Hikkun...”  
“Okay, sometimes it does hurt a little. B-But only if we go too fast at the beginning and that’s my own fault. I mean, I’m the one who rushes you to put it in sometimes, right?“ Howl didn’t answer, so Hiki started panicking a little. “I-It’s only when I get impatient and interrupt your preparations, promise! And it doesn’t hurt that bad. Normally it doesn’t hurt at all!”   
Howl smiled lovingly. “I get it. You know, the preparations are the hardest part for me, because you’re insanely sexy, I can hardly wait to devour you and to thrust into you again and ag-”  
“Howl, it’s late, I think we should go to sleep now,” Hiki interrupted him before Howl got carried away. He was way too exhausted to go for another round.   
“You’re right. You have Uni and work tomorrow.” He sighed. “This was a very insightful conversation. I’m really happy to hear that you’re satisfied with our sex life. And thank you, Hikkun. In all seriousness, today was the best birthday I ever had.”   
“Really?” Hiki sparkled.   
Howl nodded, smiled back and kissed him.   
“I love you, Hikkun.”  
“I love you too, Howl. Happy birthday.”


	11. Valentine's day and Howl's friend

Chapter 11

A few weeks after Howl’s birthday, another reason to celebrate came up. Valentine’s Day. It was their first time spending it together, but Hiki and Howl agreed not to make a fuss over it, since they both saw it as a commercial holiday. But on the day before Valentine’s Day, all the girls in Hiki’s class were chatting about the things they had prepared for their boyfriends. Hiki overheard their conversations and kind of regretted their decision. So without telling Howl, he went to a store and bought some kitchen utensils he needed in order to make chocolates for his lover. The tricky part for him was that Howl would probably smell the chocolate when he came back home, so Hiki decided to get up very early on the 14th to work on his little surprise while he was still asleep.   
Since it was Saturday, Howl and him had been very busy between the sheets the night before until early in the morning, so he didn’t sleep at all. Instead, he waited until Howl had fallen asleep around 4 am, dragged himself out of bed and took a shower. His hips hurt and his body felt sore, so he took a little longer than expected, but he was still on time. He slouched to the kitchen and started making the chocolates for his boyfriend. His plan was to make chocolate pralines and candied strawberries. Howl had a big sweet tooth, so Hiki was sure he would love it. Unfortunately, because he was so tired, he kept messing up and ended up having to redo the strawberries over and over again. The last batch turned out perfect though, so Hiki was finally pleased with his work and finished up. He looked at his phone to check the time and was shocked to see how long he had worked in the kitchen. Normally Howl woke up around 9 on weekends and it was already 8:36. Hiki hoped that he was exhausted enough from their sex marathon, that he would sleep longer, but of course he couldn’t count on it. He technically only had a few minutes to wrap the treats neatly, and luckily, he managed to make it just in time.  
“Good morning, Hikkun.” Howl entered the kitchen dead on time and greeted him with a kiss. “Mh, you taste like chocolate. Oh, and it smells so good here too… Wow, the kitchen looks like a battlefield, what the heck did you do?”  
“Happy Valentine’s day!” Hiki grabbed a big red box filled with artfully decorated chocolate hearts and strawberries glazed with white and whole milk chocolate. He handed them to his lover. “I know we agreed not to do anything like this today, but… I don’t know, I just felt like it,” he smiled and shrugged.   
“This looks amazing! Thank you, Hikkun!” He kissed him. “Did you really make all of this yourself? You’re so talented! Did you make them this morning? When did you get up?”   
“Doesn’t matter, it’s no biggie. I just hope you like them.”  
“I’m sure they’re delicious. Let’s watch a movie tonight and eat them together.”  
“Okay,” Hiki sparkled.   
“Hold on for a second, Hikkun. I’ll be right back.” Howl put the sweets on the kitchen counter and rushed out of the kitchen, leaving a confused Hiki behind. He shrugged and started cleaning. Just as he put some of his strawberry fails in the fridge, Howl reentered the room. “I’m back!”  
Hiki turned around and looked at an enormous bouquet of dark red roses that was so big, it covered Howl’s torso completely.   
“I guess we had the same thought. Happy Valentine’s Day, Hikkun. I bought these yesterday and kept them at the office. I wanted to give them to you tonight, but since you gave me chocolate, I wanted you to have something now, too,” he explained, smiling.   
“H-Howl… how many roses are there…?”  
“One hundred. Unfortunately, that’s all they had.”  
“One… hu-... jeez…” Hiki was speechless. But seeing Howl standing there with this ridiculously large bouquet in his arms, smiling at him so fondly, warmed his heart.   
“Thank you so much, Howl, they’re absolutely beautiful,” he smiled. “Let me get a vase… Although... I’m not sure the ones we have are big enough…”  
“It’s fine, I bought one. I left it in the hallway.” Howl handed Hiki the bouquet and went to get the vase.  
“Ugh… heavy… How are you carrying it so easily?” Hiki groaned as he struggled with the flowers' weight.  
“Ah, I’m sorry, Hikkun!” Howl rushed over to place the vase on the kitchen counter, took back the flowers and put them in the glass vessel.   
“Phew, thanks. They smell really nice, I love roses.”   
Howl kissed him tenderly. “You smell really nice, too,” he said with a low voice before kissing him again, but a sudden growling noise interrupted their flirting.  
“Hehe, you’re hungry. I’ll clean up and make breakfast real quick, okay?”  
“Hmm… How about we eat out and go somewhere afterwards? Is there anything you’d like to do today?”   
“Oh… Um... how about… we drive down to Tokyo bay and go on a boat ride?”  
“That’s a great idea, Hikkun.”   
Hiki loved the sea and water in general, so he got very excited at the thought of it.  
“Alright, I’ll look up boat rides and book the tickets!” Hiki stormed out of the room.   
Howl chuckled. He rolled up his sleeves and took over the cleaning. Half an hour later, Howl was loading the dishwasher, when his lover entered the kitchen with a sad expression, holding up his phone, which showed a website with a big red image that read "BOOKED OUT".   
“Howl, there are no tickets available. All boat rides are booked out. I guess that figures, considering what day it is. We'd have had to do this weeks in advance, apparently…” He put down his phone. “Oh, you did the cleaning? Sorry, I got so excited, I forgot…"  
“It's fine. So, what do you want to do instead? Shopping, maybe?”  
“Hmm… Well, I need a new charger for my phone. I think mine is broken, it takes forever to charge.”  
“Alright, shopping it is then.”  
They got ready and left. 

The mall was a good 30-minute drive away and after having a rich breakfast at a diner near their apartment, the tiredness from his all-nighter caught up to Hiki. He tried his best not to fall asleep, but he lost that fight and eventually nodded off. Howl noticed his lover’s struggle and was glad when Hiki finally gave in because he knew that his lover needed some rest, even if it was only a nap in the car. He was working hard for Uni since his exams were close, mastered their household and his job while maintaining his excellent grades and now he stayed up after a 'busy' night to make those chocolates. Howl thought Hiki overdid it sometimes, but arguing with him was no use, he was way too stubborn. So what he did instead was to make sure his boyfriend had regular meals, which he reminded him of via text messages during the day, and that he took breaks from time to time. At least when Howl was around.   
When they arrived at the mall, Howl parked their car, took the spare car keys from the glove box, as well as a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote on it: ‘Text me when you wake up. Brb. I love you.’, in case Hiki woke up. He got out of the car, placed the note and the keys on his seat and walked over to Hiki’s side. He opened the door and pushed a button to slowly lower the back of the seat, so Hiki would be more comfortable. Then he took off his coat and covered him with it. He carefully closed the door, locked the car and left.   
He walked straight to a store to buy a new charger for Hiki’s phone, and then he went to have a coffee while making a phone call. He sat in the cafe for a while, when suddenly his phone buzzed.   
[Howl, where are you?]  
[I’m at a cafe, I’ll be there in a second, stay in the car and wait for me. Do you want anything? Coffee?]  
[Yes please~ (≧◡≦) ♡]  
Howl smiled and ordered a large coffee with a lot of milk and sugar, just how Hiki liked it, and headed back to the parking garage.   
“Sorry for leaving you here, Hikkun. I got you a charger and here’s your coffee. Oh, and I also got you a power bank. You mentioned that you wanted to buy one the other day.”  
“Oh, th-thank you. Sorry for falling asleep. How long was I out for?” Hiki asked as he took the coffee and placed it on his cup holder. “And why did you buy me a charger and the power bank, I thought we’d go to the mall together…” he added, confused.   
“You slept for about an hour and a half, so it wasn’t that long, don’t worry. There’s been a change of plans, so no shopping today.”  
“Oh, do you have to work?”  
“No, I remembered something on our way here. A friend of mine has a yacht, so I called him. And although he’s out of town for a business trip, he’s willing to lend it to us for today. He gave me the number of his Captain, so I called him as well and luckily, he’s free today too. But not before 2 pm, so we’ll drive down to the harbor, maybe stroll around for a bit and have lunch before we go on our little boat trip.”  
Hiki was staring at Howl with his mouth open. "A yacht? Really?"   
“Yeah. You seemed so sad that the boat trip wasn't going to happen and you work so hard all the time, you deserve to do something fun once in a while.”  
“Th-Thank you so much, Howl,” Hiki rejoiced, sparkling.  
“It’s no biggie, really. He’s a very good friend of mine from my first workplace here in Tokyo,” he smiled. "Too bad that he's not in town, it has been a while since the last time we met. Maybe another time."  
Hiki realized that he had never thought about the fact that Howl might have other friends besides Kinsley. He had never met another friend of his, nor did Howl talk about them.  
"You've met at work?"   
"Yeah. Sophie and I had just moved back here. We were 18 and I was lucky to find a job right away. He walked up to me on my first day and asked me where I was from. Turned out he was from the States, so he somehow felt connected to me as a fellow foreigner. We were pretty close, but he moved back to the US a few years later because of some family issues, and I founded CastleTech and became super busy, so we lost touch. Then, about a year ago, he suddenly sent me an email telling me that he's coming back to Japan, but with our jobs and all, we haven't had many opportunities to meet up. He's gonna move to Singapore soon because of work... I hope you meet him before he leaves. He's a really great guy, I think you'll like him."  
"I would love to meet him, he seems to mean a lot to you."  
"I'll send him a text later; hopefully, he can make some time."  
Hiki nodded and took a big sip from his coffee. "Mmh, so sweet," he moaned delightfully.   
"Just how you like it."  
"Yup, the sweeter, the better."  
"I feel the same way, that's why I’m with you."  
"Amazing… You seem to become cheesier every day," Hiki remarked and took another sip. Howl smirked.   
They arrived at the port and killed some time by strolling around a market, where Hiki had the opportunity to buy some fresh seafood and some spices he wanted to try. After bringing the shopping bags to the car, they had lunch at a fish restaurant and headed to Howl’s friend’s pier afterwards. The Captain was already waiting for them.   
“Welcome aboard the Aurora. I’m your Captain, Tanizaki Eizou. I hope you enjoy your time here.” He then explained their route and headed over to the ship’s wheel.   
“Whoa, Howl, this boat is huge and it’s so fancy… I don’t want to touch anything, I’m afraid of breaking it…” Hiki whispered.   
“It’s fine, don’t worry. Let’s sit down.” Howl pointed at a sitting area on the deck and they made themselves comfortable. “Are you cold?”   
“No, I’m fine, thanks. It’s so exciting that we have a whole boat to ourselves.”  
“Yeah. If you get cold, we can warm up inside for a bit, okay? He even has a bed in there, so-“   
“No way, you lecher! Do you ever think of something other than  _ that _ ?”  
Howl chuckled and hugged him. “I was just joking. Oh, we’re moving…”   
They left the port and went on their little cruise. They snuggled up against each other, looked at the water, and had vivid conversations. There was also a lot of kissing involved, and after two hours they went back to the pier. Unfortunately, their Captain didn’t have more time, but they were grateful that he went through the trouble to drive them around on a Saturday. They thanked him again and again when they left the boat. Back at the car, Hiki slumped into his seat.  
“Haa… I’m so happy. Thank you so much for this lovely date, it was so romantic,” Hiki said and smiled.   
“Isn’t it funny how we ended up like this although we agreed not to celebrate this day?” Howl grinned.  
“Well… You would have done this for me even on a regular day, because you’re the best boyfriend in the world. I always feel so spoiled.” Hiki took Howl’s hand and sparkled at him.   
“Let’s go straight home, so I can spoil you some more…”   
Hiki nodded and blushed, and of course the two lovebirds spent the rest of the day in bed.

On Monday, one week later, Hiki received a text message from Howl during his first lecture.   
[Great news, Hikkun! Remember my friend who lent us his yacht? He just called me and told me a dinner with a client was cancelled, so he’s free tonight! It’s our last chance to meet up before he leaves Japan.]  
[How about I make dinner?]  
[You would do that? I would prefer inviting him to our home, it’s cozier than a restaurant.]  
[I know, that’s why I suggested it (⁀ᗢ⁀) Is there anything he doesn’t like? Do you know his favorite meal? Maybe I can cook it, wouldn't that be nice?]  
[You’re the best, Hikkun. Just steak is fine. Use the black credit card I gave you and buy the best Kobe steaks you can find, please. Oh, and buy some blueberry cobbler if you can find it. If you go to the supermarket for foreign foods, they should have frozen cobbler. It's his favorite dessert. Again, thank you, Hikkun! Gotta run now, I have a meeting. I'll be home around seven, he'll arrive at eight.]  
_End of the message_, Hiki thought, surprised. _He must be super nervous, how cute. He didn't even say 'I love you' at the end... Frozen Cobbler… Tche, as if I'd buy the dessert instead of making it myself,_ Hiki scoffed as his phone buzzed again.   
[Don't make the cobbler yourself, Hikkun, okay? You're busy enough as it is! Buy one!! And if you can't find it, just buy some daifuku or something. I love you, I love you, and I miss you. (one ‘I love you’ is from the last message) Can't wait to see you tonight.]  
Hiki giggled. Sometimes he really thought Howl was able to read his mind. But in fact, he just knew him extremely well.   
After Uni Hiki went straight to the store to buy the produce he needed and hurried home to get everything done in time. He had looked up recipes for the blueberry cobbler, and he decided that it wasn't really hard to make. Hiki wanted to make baked potatoes with chive butter and mushrooms as side dishes for the Kobe. He also planned on making garlic butter, plus vanilla ice cream for the cobbler. He started right when he got back home, knowing that Howl would scold him and tell him that he did too much, but this was the first time Hiki would meet one of Howl's friends, besides Kinsley, so he wanted everything to be perfect.   
  
When all the preparations were done and only the finishing touch was left, he grabbed his Uni notes and sat down at the kitchen counter to study a little. The date for his exams was getting closer, so he used every opportunity to memorize as much as he could.   
"I'm home," someone suddenly whispered into his ear.   
“WAH!” Hiki jolted and almost fell off the chair.   
“Sorry, Hikkun, I didn't want to jumpscare you," Howl apologized as he held his lover.   
"Jeez, I was so absorbed in my studies, I didn't notice you at all," he huffed, pressing one hand on his chest.   
"Are you okay?"   
"Yeah, I'm fine," he giggled. "Welcome home, I missed you." Hiki raised his head and puckered his lips. Howl followed his cute invitation and kissed him.  
"I missed you too. Like crazy"  
Hiki closed his books and put them away. "How was your day?"   
"It was okay, not too busy. How was yours?"   
Hiki shrugged. "Not too busy either."  
"Mh yeah, I can see that," Howl replied sarcastically while looking around, noticing all of Hiki's different cooking projects. "You're overdoing it again, Hikkun. I told you-"   
"I know, I know. But this is a special occasion. He's a good friend of yours and I also want to thank him for letting us use his yacht the other day."  
Howl sighed in resignation. "Is there anything I can help you with at least? Like setting up the dinner table…"  
"Already done. Just sit down and rest a little, Howl. You just got home from work." Hiki grabbed him by his wide shoulders, directed him to the chair he had just sat on and pushed him down. "Sit. I'll make you a cup of tea. I'm done with most of the cooking anyway. The ice cream should be done by now too, I have to put it in the freezer, so it will be firmer by the time we have dessert. The meat will have to wait until later so it's fresh, the crumble is ready for the oven too, the potatoes are already in there..." Hiki mumbled, talking more to himself than to Howl.   
"Your tea…"   
"Thanks." He sipped his relaxing tea, grateful to have such a caring person by his side. He lovingly watched Hiki twirling around the kitchen, preparing all the delicious-smelling dishes.   
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.   
"Wah, I'm not ready! Howl, can you open the door please? I will be right there," he gasped as he checked the potatoes in the oven.   
"Of course. Hikkun…”  
“Hm?”  
“Relax. He’s a good guy.” Howl smiled at him and went to open the door.   
"There you are, long time no see! Hey, did you gain weight? You seem a little chubby around the hips," Howl greeted his friend.   
"Good to see you, Howl, how have you been? Wow, you've become old, the stress of being a company owner has taken a toll on you, it seems," the man replied laughing as he stepped inside. He took off his shoes at the genkan and entered the hallway.   
"Hey, hey! We're the same age," Howl replied, acting offended.   
"We are, but I look much younger than you. And better, of course."  
“You wish!”  
Derek chuckled. “Hey, it smells fantastic! Is that steak? Since when do you cook? I was wondering why you invited me here instead of meeting me at a restaurant anyway… What’s going on, pal?”  
“I want to introduce you to someone important.”   
“Someone important? Do you have a new girlfriend? You were always such a ladies' magnet, I never understood why…”  
“Oi, what’s that supposed to mean?”  
"W-Welcome," Hiki greeted Derek as they entered the living room. He placed some snacks on the coffee table and bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Derek-san. I'm Hikaru. Th-Thank you for your generosity the other day. We really enjoyed our time on your yacht."  
Hiki’s adorable awkwardness made Howl smirk. He walked over to him and placed his arm on his shoulder.   
"Hikkun, there's no need to be so formal. Derek, this is my partner, Hikaru. Hikkun, this is my old friend Derek," Howl introduced them to each other.   
"Please call me Hiki," he smiled.   
"Um… Okay, hi. Just call me Derek," the man replied, seemingly startled.   
"I brought some snacks as appetizers. I'll go and finish cooking, it will be ready in ten minutes," Hiki announced.   
"Let me know if you need any help, Hikkun," Howl said as he gently brushed a strand of hair behind Hiki’s ear.  
"Just sit down and talk to your friend, you haven't seen each other in a while.” He smiled and headed back to the kitchen.   
_That was weird, he looked so surprised when Howl introduced me_, Hiki thought as he put the steaks into the grilling pan. _Maybe Howl didn’t tell him that he was dating... Or did he not mention beforehand that I’m a guy?_ That wouldn’t have been unusual for Howl, since gender wasn't important to him. Hiki shook his head to banish upcoming thoughts -he didn't want to overthink-, so he focused on cooking.

Meanwhile in the living room, Howl and Derek sat down on the sofa.    
“So what’s with this whole ‘this is my partner’ thing? Are you trying to prank me or something?” Derek suddenly asked.    
“Prank you? What do you mean?”   
“Come on… Are you telling me that you’re gay now all of a sudden? You of all people...” He chuckled.    
“Not in particular. More like… Bi... maybe. Though Hikkun is the first man I ever felt attracted to. But who cares, we’re in love and we’re happy. That’s all that matters.”   
“So you’re telling me that Howl the lady killer is in a gay relationship now…” Derek burst out in laughter. “That’s hilarious.”   
“I wasn’t a lady killer.”   
“Sure you weren’t. You had a new girlfriend every few weeks.”   
“Stop exaggerating,” Howl grumbled and Derek laughed.   
“Umm, dinner is ready…” Hiki suddenly showed up next to them. Howl’s heart skipped a beat. Did he overhear their conversation just now?   
“Hikkun! Ah, yeah, okay we’re coming.”    
They got up and moved over to the dining table.    
“Wow, this looks amazing,” Derek shouted.   
“Thank you,” Hiki blushed as they sat down. "We’ll have steak with baked potatoes, mushrooms and salad. I also made garlic butter with chives. Oh and there’s cobbler in the oven for dessert.”  
“It looks fantastic. Is that Kobe?” Derek asked.   
“Only the best for you, my friend. I mean, it’s your last dinner here in Japan, so it had to be something special. That’s why I asked Hikkun to cook, it’s better than any 5-Star restaurant,” he bragged proudly. “The other day he recreated a meal from a French restaurant we went to on my birthday and it was even better than theirs. He's a genius in the kitchen!”   
“Howl, please stop. You’re exaggerating,” Hiki blushed.   
“No, I’m not,” Howl insisted.    
“Anyhow, let’s start eating before it gets cold. I hope it’ll be to your liking,” Hiki said and they enjoyed their meal.  
"Wow, it's absolutely delicious! It tastes even better than it looks,” Derek complimented Hiki.   
“Th-Thank you,” he sparkled. Derek looked at him dumbfounded.   
“Derek, are you okay?” Howl asked.    
“Yeah, it’s just… That was really cute…”   
“Do you get it now?” Howl grinned.   
“I’m starting to,” his friend replied.    
Hiki had no idea what was going on, so he just shrugged and continued eating. 

After they were done, they moved back to the sofa to have tea.    
“Jeez, I’m so full. That was great, thank you, Hiki,” Derek said as he slumped down on the couch.    
“Thank you, I’m happy that you liked it,” he smiled.  
"So, tell me, how did the two of you meet?"   
"I had an appointment with Hikkun’s father at their house in May last year, and he accidentally walked into the room I was waiting in. He offered me some tea and his homemade cookies… Although I was a little overwhelmed and confused by my feelings back then, I’m convinced now that it was love at first sight for me.” Howl explained. “I was lucky that he fell in love with me, too,”   
“Well, you made it very easy for me,” Hiki smiled at him.   
“May last year? Wow, you didn’t waste any time, huh?” Derek grinned cheekily.   
"When something feels right, why waste any time? We knew that we wanted to be together, so what’s the point in waiting…” Howl replied confidently and took Hiki’s hand. Hiki blushed.    
“Okay, you’ve got a point there, I guess. Heh, it’s kinda funny to see how lovey-dovey you’re acting around him. You never behaved like that with any of your girlfriends.”  
Hiki felt uneasy. He had never really talked to Howl about his past lovers. He knew that Howl had a few girlfriends before him and he knew that Hiki was his first man, but that was it. He had wanted to ask Howl about his past before, but it was never the right moment, and it wasn’t that important to Hiki. But hearing Derek mention Howl’s exes, and what he said earlier when Hiki called them for dinner… It made him want to know more after all.   
“Well, I have never been in a serious relationship before, nor have I been in love. They didn’t really mean anything to me. It’s different with Hikkun.”   
“But I remember that one girl… You were pretty devastated after you broke up. What was her name again? Chichi… Chimney...”  
“Chinami.”  
“See, you still remember her…”  
“Of course I do. She was a total nutjob and destroyed my whole dorm at work after I broke up with her. I wasn’t sad, I was annoyed because I had to pay a huge fee to my employee for the ruined furniture.”   
“That’s sad. I don’t know how I would react…” Hiki said thoughtfully.   
“You will never know because I won’t break up with you, Hikkun. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life,” Howl winked and smiled at him.  
“Hiki, in case you need help to escape from that weirdo, blink three times and I’ll call the police,” Derek whispered jokingly.    
“Hey, hey!” Howl glared at his friend.   
Hiki giggled. He thought it was funny how they kept teasing each other.    
They had very fun conversations throughout the evening, but around 11 pm Derek had to leave.    
“Too bad that we won’t be able to meet up again any time soon,” Howl said as they escorted him to the door.   
“I’ll come back to Tokyo from time to time, though. Hiki, will you cook again next time? That would be great!”   
“Yes, definitely,” Hiki sparkled, happy that he liked his cooking that much.    
“Okay, Howl, I totally get it now. I get why you’re in love with him and I’m very happy for the two of you. I hope I find someone I can have this kind of relationship with, too,” Derek smiled. “See you, old friend. See you, Hiki. Thank you for everything, I had a really good time.”   
“See you, buddy. Be safe on your flight to France.”   
“Yes, please be safe,” Hiki said. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”   
After Derek left, Howl turned around to Hiki who was standing next to him and kissed him.    
“Mh! What was that for?” he asked, startled.    
“Do I need a reason to kiss my precious lover? Come on, it’s late. Let’s go to bed.”   
“Yeah, but I would like to clean up before. The kitchen is a mess and I haven’t cleaned the dining table yet.”   
“Okay, let’s do it together then.”   
Hiki nodded and they cleaned everything up. When they were done, they went to bed and snuggled up against each other, spooning.  
“Howl… Can I ask you something?”   
“Of course, what is it, Hikkun?”   
“How many girlfriends did you have?”   
“I was expecting you to ask after tonight, and I’m not going to lie, I was in quite a few relationships. They never lasted long, though. I was never in love with any of those girls. I liked them, but it wasn’t love. I tried to fill a void. I felt like there was something missing in my life. I found that now. And I also know what love is now.” Howl tightened his grip around Hiki. “Do you hate it that I was like that?”   
“No. It’s fine, it doesn’t bother me. You’re with me now and that’s all that counts.”   
“Hikkun, can I ask you something too?”   
“Sure…”   
“You made fresh cobbler after all, didn’t you?”   
“Maybe…” he answered after a moment of silence.    
Howl chuckled. “I love you, Hikkun.”   
“I love you too, Howl.”    
They both fell asleep, smiling.


	12. Making friends

"It's over, Howl. I'm done. I'm leaving right now..." Hiki was finally able to say those words to Howl, even though it was only on the phone. It felt like a big weight had been lifted from his shoulders.   
"I want to see you, Hikkun, but I’m on my way to an appointment right now," Howl replied. "You're on vacation now, right?"   
"Yeah, for three weeks. Still have to go to work, though. It's fine, we can talk later. You're busy…"  
"I am, gotta hang up now, I'm going to meet with someone very important. Let’s talk tonight."  
"Okay… See you tonight."  
Before Hiki could say anything else, Howl had hung up. Hiki sighed as he put away his phone. He couldn't believe that it was over. He had just finished his last exam for the semester and walked down the campus, heading home. He had studied so hard in the past few weeks, he had basically neglected everything else. If it hadn't been for Howl, he would have even forgotten to eat. He couldn’t wait to get home, take a long, hot bath and relax.  
Suddenly, Hiki’s phone buzzed. It was a message from Howl.    
[I love you.]   
Hiki smiled lovingly and replied. [I love you too.]   
He passed the campus gate and reached the street when his phone buzzed again.    
[Look to the right.]   
“Huh?” Hiki raised his head, looked to the right, and there he was, standing in front of his black Audi Q7 that was parked at the gate.   
"Howl?" Hiki’s heart skipped a beat. "What are you doing here? I thought you were meeting with someone important…"   
"I am. There’s no one more important than you." Howl charmingly smiled at his blushing lover. Hiki loved Howl’s cheesy side.   
"I have to be back at the office soon, but I wanted to have lunch with you. Come on, get in." Hiki got into the car and they started driving.    
“How was your final exam?”   
"It was alright, I think. There were some tricky questions, but I think I'll pass."  
"Of course you will. You've worked so hard…"   
"I'm sorry for neglecting everything. Cleaning, cooking… and even you… We barely spent any time together in the past weeks."  
"It's fine, Hikkun." Howl took his hand. "After all, I was very busy too, and your studies are just as important as my job. We can't change the fact that we’re busy, but what we can do is use the time in between those busy periods and make up for it," he smiled.   
"You're right." Hiki smiled back and pressed his lover's hand. "I was also thinking of Hacchan and Kaito earlier. I kind of neglected them too, I didn't reply to them much in our chats and we haven't had any video calls in forever… I really miss them."  
"They know why you went MIA, though, right?"  
"Yeah, they know. I don’t think they’re mad or anything."   
“Just call them later. Oh, and how about we go out for dinner tonight to celebrate the end of your exams?”   
“Sounds good! We haven’t done that in a while.”   
“By the way… It’s going to be the 22nd soon, is there anything you would like to do on your birthday?”   
“Oh right… it’s April already… Hmm, not really...”   
“I was hoping you would say that. I took the liberty to plan a little surprise. We’re going to go on a little trip.”   
“A trip? Where to? ” Hiki asked, excited.  
“Not gonna tell, it’s a surprise. Just get up in the morning, get ready, and leave the rest to me.”   
“Uwah, I’m so excited now,” Hiki sparkled.   
"You’re gonna love it, I’m sure. Do you want to grab lunch at a diner now, or should we just pick something up and eat at home?"   
"Let's have lunch at home, I don't feel like being surrounded by people, I want to be alone with you." He pressed his lover’s hand and smiled at him.  
They stopped at a restaurant and then went straight home to have lunch.   
Afterwards, Howl had to rush downstairs, back to the office, and Hiki worked off his chores. When he was preparing the laundry, he checked Howl’s pockets as usual. He often left something in there, like receipts, sometimes money and also candy wrappers. This time as well, he pulled out candy wrappers. An awful lot of them. “This is weird, there are so many,” Hiki said to himself wondering why there were more than usual. Howl was a stress eater, and this could only mean that he must have been under a lot of stress. Hiki instantly felt bad for not noticing. He had been so wound up in his studies in the past weeks, that he hadn’t even noticed. Instead, he had been a burden to his boyfriend too. He wondered why Howl hadn’t mentioned anything, but he was a very considerate person, so he probably didn’t want to distract Hiki. Howl knew that Hiki was like a sponge for other people’s emotions, especially those of his lover.   
He sighed, picked up all the wrappers and took them to the kitchen to throw them away. Then he finished the laundry and took a long, hot bubble bath. Hiki decided to be more attentive from now on, even during the exams phase. He wanted to help and support his lover as much as possible.    
After he got out of the tub, he got ready. It felt like he had washed off all the stress, and Hiki felt great and relaxed even though he didn’t know if he had actually passed yet or what his grades were.  _ It’ll be alright _ , he told himself.  _ You did your best, as always. You’ll pass and even if they're not straight A’s, it’ll be fine. _ He smiled confidently and was now looking forward to a romantic dinner with his boyfriend. He took a look at his phone to check the time. "Oh, a message from Howl!” He tapped on the screen and read it.  
[Hikkun, let’s meet in the car at 7, I’ll come down directly after the meeting. I love you and I miss you, I can’t wait to see you.]   
Hiki smiled and his excitement grew.   
[I’ll be there. I miss you and I love you too.  (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ ]  
There was still an hour left, so Hiki decided to read a little until shortly before he had to leave. He grabbed his coat and headed down to the parking garage in the basement. He walked over to their lot, but Howl wasn’t at or inside the car. He checked the time and it was exactly 7pm. Suddenly, his phone buzzed.   
[Hikkun, I'm so sorry, something important came up. Please go back upstairs and wait for me to call you. I’ll do my best to be there in an hour. Seriously, I’m so, so sorry.]  
[It’s fine, I can wait, don't rush. I’m not hungry yet anyway. See you later  (⇀ 3 ↼) ♡  ]   
“Alright, back home I go," he said to himself and he had just turned around to walk back to the elevator when a sudden rustling noise caught his attention. "Hm?" Hiki wondered where it came from and looked for its origin.  _ Maybe a stray animal or a bird who got trapped inside the garage _ , he thought, now determined to find it and help it find its way out. He walked towards the area where the sound had echoed from and as he did, he heard something growling, too. Hiki stopped at a big, wide pillar and peeked behind it. Judging from that sound, he expected it to be a big dog, so he was careful and moved slowly, but what he discovered instead startled him.   
"I-I-I I’m sorry, please don’t call the police, I promise I’ll leave!" A young man was sitting on some spread out newspapers on the floor, a big suitcase with a blanket on top next to him. He wore a suit, but it looked a little dirty. The man looked scruffy and worn out, he had big dark circles under his eyes.   
"It's okay, I won't call the police, don't worry. Please calm down." Hiki said in a calm voice. “Who are you?”  
"Thank you… My… My name is Shoji Kenjiro. I’m sorry, I wanted to spend the night here, they said it’s going to be really cold tonight. But I'll leave this instant, I'm sorry if I scared you." The man started frantically gathering his belongings.  
"You didn’t." Hiki knelt down next to him and placed one hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "You don't have to leave. But why do you want to spend the night here? Are you homeless?"   
He stopped what he was doing and looked down ashamed. "I… I am. I lost my job a while ago. I tried my hardest to find a new one, but my old company made sure no one would hire me. I wasn’t able to pay for the rent and got evicted. I lived in a capsule hotel for a while, but I eventually ran out of money, and now I'm… homeless. I wasn’t very smart with my money and never really saved anything up... Ah, I'm sorry for being so inappropriately open. I apologize for burdening you with this."  
"It's fine, thank you for sharing it with me," Hiki smiled gently.   
"You seem very kind, but I should leave n-" Again, there was that loud growling noise. The man flinched and placed his hand on his stomach. "I'm sorry… I haven't eaten in a couple of days."  
Hiki looked at his phone.  _ There's more than enough time _ , he thought.   
"Shoji-san, please wait here. Don't go away, I'll be right back!"  
Shoji nodded confused and Hiki ran over to the elevator. He went upstairs to their condo, rushed to the kitchen and grabbed two large plastic bags. He stuffed them with fruits, vegetables that didn't need cooking, some pre-cooked meat, fish and rice, several bottles of water and even some of Howl’s sweets. "Sorry Howl, I'll replace those tomorrow…" he said sheepishly to himself and rushed back down to Shoji. "Here!" He handed the bags to the astonished man.  
"Huh? Wait… Why are you doing this?" he asked, startled.   
"Because you're hungry and we have food," Hiki smiled.   
"I can't-"   
"Yes, you can. Please accept it, it would mean a lot to me."  
"...Thank you very much. But you don't even know me…"    
“I don’t need to know someone to help when help is needed,” Hiki winked.  
He could clearly tell that Shoji was moved. His big brown eyes sparkled, but before he could answer, his phone buzzed. It was another message from Howl.    
“I’m sorry, please excuse me,” Hiki said as he looked at his phone.  
[I'll need at least two hours. I'm so sorry Hikkun. Do you want to postpone our date, or are you okay with waiting?]   
[It's okay, don't worry. I’ll wait, take your time. Just call me when you’re done. I love you, please take care.] He replied and put away his phone.   
"Well, it looks like I have some time on my hands now, so how about you tell me a little more about you," he smiled and sat down next to Shoji on a newspaper sheet. "Only if you want to, of course. And please eat something, you must be starving."   
"Thank you,… um…"   
"Ah, my name is Hikaru. Nice to meet you!" Hiki smiled fondly.   
"Thank you, Hikaru-kun. Nice to meet you too." Shoji smiled back at Hiki. The man had a very warm and friendly charisma, he thought. Shoji was completely overwhelmed by this strange boy's kindness. He took a bento stuffed with leftovers from the dinner Hiki had made the night before and started eating.   
"Wah, it's very good! You made this, Hikaru-kun?"  
"Hehe, yeah. I'm happy you like it!"  
While he was eating, Shoji told Hiki more about himself. Hiki learned that he was a Cybersecurity Consultant and that he had worked very hard to get hired by a big company. Then, his supervisor’s cousin who worked in his team, made a stupid mistake that cost the company millions, and they blamed it on Shoji, so he got fired. The pay wasn’t that good, so he didn't have any savings. He tried his best to find a new job, but thanks to his former employers who spread those false allegations, his reputation was ruined, so no one wanted to hire him. And no one would even listen to his side of the story. And now everything he owned fit in that one suitcase. The more they talked and the more he learned about him, the more that man reminded Hiki of Howl. Shoji had the same fighting spirit and determination, he seemed passionate about his job, kind-hearted and all that he needed was a chance. Hiki felt the strong urge to help him more than by only giving him some food.    
The two of them had a long, illuminating conversation and Hiki was fascinated by Shoji's stories and his character. After a while, Hiki’s phone started ringing.   
“Oh, excuse me again, Shoji-san… Howl?”   
“Hikkun, where the hell are you? I came home to pick you up, but I found the condo empty. Did something happen, are you okay?”   
“I’m okay, calm down, Howl. I’m still in the parking garage.”   
“What? Why are you…”   
“I’ll explain it to you later. Do you still want to go out or are you tired?”   
“No, I’ll come down there, wait for me.”    
“Okay.” They hung up. "I'm sorry Shoji-san, but I have to leave now. Here…" Hiki took his wallet from his pocket and pulled out some money. "This is all I had in my piggy bank, but it should be enough to stay at a hotel for a few days." Hiki handed him a small bundle of money.   
"Huh? No way, this is too much! I can't accept this, Hikaru-kun, seriously!"   
"Please take it. Do you still have a cellphone?"   
"Yes, I do.”   
“Do you have a business card?”    
“Um, yes. Here." Shoji pulled a small box out of his pocket and handed a card to Hiki. "It still has my former workplace on it..."  
"Perfect, thank you! I'll leave now. You don't have to sneak out. Use the main entrance and if the guard stops you, just tell him you're a friend of mine."  
"Thank you for your kindness and your help, Hikaru-kun! I will pay you back as soon as I find a new job!"   
Hiki smiled and got up. “I’ll call you soon, Shoji-san. Maybe I can help you with that too.” Hiki smiled, turned around and rushed over to the car just in time.   
"Hikkun, did you wait here the whole time?" Howl, who had just arrived, asked.   
"Yeah, but there’s a reason." They kissed and got into the car.    
“What reason?”   
Hiki told Howl about everything that had happened in the past two hours while they were driving to the restaurant. He did so with a certain intention and he hoped that the plan he came up with while he was talking to Shoji would work out. "...And then, we talked for the whole two hours. He’s super awesome and told me everything about himself. I gave him some money for a hotel so he can-"  
"Hikkun, please hold on for a second." Howl stopped the car on the side of the street so he could focus on the conversation better. Hiki sensed that Howl was irritated. Maybe it was bad timing to talk to him about this after a stressful workday. "So you're telling me that there was a random homeless guy in our garage and you gave him, a complete stranger, a not so small amount of money so he can stay in a hotel… just like that?"   
"Yes." Hiki nodded as if it had been the most normal thing in the world. “But-”  
"How much was it?"  
"60.000 Yen. (Note: 500€/570$) That was all I had in cash, but it won't last for long, that's why it's important that-"   
Howl interrupted him again with a loud sigh and moaned: "Dammit, Hikkun… You’re way too naive..." as he rubbed his forehead with his fingers.   
"Are you mad at me? I just wanted to help him… You know, there's more. I was hoping... you could invite him to a job interview…"   
"Invite him…? I don't know anything about him.  _ You _ don't know anything about him. You don't know if he's acting, if he's just a drug addict, or a criminal, like a rapist! You know nothing about that man, but you just went and handed him 60.000 Yen and bonded with him in a dark parking garage at night in a corner that the damn security cameras obviously can’t reach! Yes, Hikkun, I am very mad!"   
"Don’t yell at me, please. He’s not a criminal or anything. And it was my own money from my savings. I'll compensate you for the food, don't worry. I'll put that money back into our joint bank account." Hiki felt disappointed. He hadn't expected Howl to get that angry. "He’s a kind man who was framed for something he didn’t do, so he lost everything. Don't you think that's unfair? I can't stand injustice. That's why I was thinking that you might be able to help him. Didn't you say that one of your employees left recently because they have to take care of a sick relative and you’ll need to hire someone new? So why not talk to Shoji-san?"  
"I won't just hire a random person you met in a parking garage, end of discussion. And you'll stay away from him in the future, you hear me? Who knows what that guy's up to..."  
"I don’t like it when you talk to me like that. I’m not a kid and you’re not my father."   
Hiki crossed his arms and stared out of the window.   
"Hikkun, this is a business matter. It's up to me, and I said no... Can you look at me when I talk to you," he asked, but Hiki didn't move. "Fine. Pout all you want. You’re claiming that you’re not a child, but you’re behaving like an entitled little brat right now." Howl regretted his words the moment they had left his lips. "Dammit! Hikkun, I’m sorry, can we stop fighting, please? I’m really exhausted, and-"   
"I might act like a little brat, but you act like a stubborn, prejudiced old fart!" Hiki glared at him.   
"Okay, I deserved that." Howl almost smiled over Hiki’s cute attempt at payback, but he was able to hold back. “I’m sorry Hikkun, but I’m worried.”   
“You’re being overprotective.”   
“Maybe I am sometimes, but in this case I think I’m just being rational. I just don’t want anything bad happening to you, and this was a dangerous situation, whether you realize it or not.”  
"I… I just have a good feeling about him. He's very kind, polite, and completely harmless. It's not his fault that he's homeless and not every homeless person is automatically a criminal, Howl. They're just normal people who have lost their homes. And he's trying his best to get back on track. Everyone deserves a second chance, but nobody is willing to give it to him. I know you have a big heart, so I was hoping you'd at least talk to him. But you're only judging him for things he’s not guilty of, that's not fair. I didn’t take you for someone who would do that..."  
"Hikkun…"  
"He… He talked so passionately and lovingly about his work and his colleagues, he would fit great into your team, I know it. His spirit didn't break regardless of what happened to him. He's still looking for a job, he's still hopeful, he didn’t give up. I thought that if you'd just talk to him…"  
"Hikkun, there are many people out there who have been unlucky. I can't hire all of them and you can't give food and money to all of them."   
"I know that, I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am. But just because I can't help  _ everyone  _ doesn't mean I can't help  _ someone _ ."  
Howl leaned back in his seat, rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, closed his eyes and sighed. "What was his name again?”   
“Shoji Kenjiro. Wait, I have his business card!” Hiki handed Howl the small white paper sheet.   
“Good, I’d need to know what exactly his job w-” Howl stopped talking and stared at the card. “Are you going to think about it?” Hiki lit up. “Howl? What is it?”   
“He’s a Cybersecurity Consultant?! He’s qualified in CISSP  _ and  _ OSCP*?”   
“Is that a good thing?”   
“I want to talk to him. My number one reason is you. You're really something, talking about passionate people when you're the most passionate person I've ever met. And you can be very stubborn too."  
"I know… And I don't want to trouble you or fight with you. I know you’re under a lot of stress lately, sorry. I just want to do what feels right."  
"People like him are very hard to find, especially with those qualifications. That makes it suspicious that no one wanted to hire him so far, but I’m willing to hear his side of the story. There’s no guarantee that I'll hire him just because I’ll talk to him, so don't get too excited. My employees are very important to me, you know that. I won't just hire anyone, even if it’s for a position that’s hard to fill. My team’s balance is more important."  
Hiki nodded. "I know."  
"Can you contact him somehow?"   
"He still has his phone."  
"Alright, then tell him…" Howl closed his eyes for a moment, trying to recall his schedule. "Tell him to be at my office at 2 pm tomorrow. It will be a busy day, so I'll make time for him after a meeting and during lunch.”   
“Will do!”   
“Kinsley and Ito should be there too. Kinsley has a great sense for human nature and Ito as the supervisor should have a saying too," Howl mumbled to himself.  
"Thank you so,  _ so _ much, Howl!" Hiki was relieved and happy.   
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Hikkun. There are some dangerous people out there, and this whole thing could've gone a different way. The building has security cameras everywhere, I don't even get how he was able to sneak in, but please understand that I'll have to tell security what happened. Next time it might be someone who's not that harmless."  
Hiki nodded. "I understand. Thank you for worrying about me. And I’m sorry for acting so bratty and entitled."  
"You didn't. You were just standing up for what you thought was right and in the end, you were able to convince me. I'm sorry that we fought. I love you, Hikkun." Howl leaned over and kissed him.   
"I love you too."   
"You know what? Now I'm curious about what kind of guy he is."  
"I think you'll like him." Hiki smiled and took out his phone to message Shoji immediately. The rest of the night was calm and relaxed. They both enjoyed their time together and when they were on their way back home, Shoji finally replied, thanking Hiki and confirming his appointment.   
  
Hiki spent the next day grocery shopping and did some baking and cooking to kill time until the appointment. He was too nervous to sit still. Howl had assured him that he would call Hiki right after it was over, but the appointment was at 2 pm and it was almost 5 already. But Howl kept his promise and shortly after 5 pm his phone rang.    
“Howl? How was it? Did you like him? He’s so nice, right? Did you hire him?” He bombarded his boyfriend with questions.    
“Hikkun, calm down. I hired him, he’s already setting up a computer in the big office. He will be on probation for a month like everyone else, of course, but judging by his resume and the little test he underwent, he’s excellent at what he’s doing. He also managed to impress Ito. Kinsley likes him as well and the whole team gave him a warm welcome. I think they’ll get along well.”   
Hiki rejoiced internally and silently victory-danced and jumped through the kitchen.   
“I will pay him some front money and Kinsley will help him find an apartment. My condition for the front money was that he pays you back from his next paycheck… But for now, he needs a home and stuff.” Howl paused for a moment. “You were right about him, he will be a great addition to my team and he’s the type of person I was looking for to fill that position. Thank you, Hikkun… Are you still there?”   
“I-I am…” he sniffled.    
“Are you crying?”   
“Nh…”   
“Hikkun, why on earth are you crying?”   
“I’m so happy… And so relieved.”   
“Listen, this doesn’t mean you can go and start recruiting people for the company. This was an exception.”   
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry again for the trouble I caused you, but I’m so happy that everything turned out well.”   
“I’m sorry for acting like an old fart. I know I tend to be a little too overprotective sometimes, but if anything were to happen to you, Hikkun… If anyone were to hurt you...”   
“I know, I feel the same about you, you know… I worry about you too. I guess that’s part of being in love…”   
“I guess so…”    
They both chuckled. “What are your plans for today, Hikkun?”   
“Hmm… I did all my chores and prepared dinner, so I think I’ll call my brother and Kai first and Sophie afterwards to catch up with them. It’s about time for me to do so. Oh, and I’ll call Shoji-san later to congratulate him, hehe.”   
“Sounds good. Unfortunately, it’s going to be late for me again today, I won’t be off before 10 pm, probably.”   
“Oh… Okay, I’ll wait for you.”   
“Hikkun, how about I take this weekend off? I mean completely. No rushing out suddenly, no work while watching TV, no phone. Just the two of us.”   
Hiki got excited hearing those words. “Yes! That sounds great! Just you and me, no interruptions… I’d love that. But you’ve been busier than usual lately, can you really…”  
“You see, there’s this… project I’m working on. It’s insanely time-consuming and the person who’s involved is extremely irritating, but only three more weeks and it’ll be over. Please bear with it until then. And please bear with me. I know I tend to get easily agitated when I’m this stressed out.”   
“It’s fine, I get it. And I love you enough to put up with it. I think,” Hiki teased him.    
“Hey, hey…” Howl just wanted to jokingly scold him, when someone entered his office and interrupted him. “Okay, be right there... Sorry, Hikkun, I have to hang up. I love you, and I’m looking forward to this weekend.”   
“Me too, I love you too. See you tonight.” Hiki smiled as they hung up. Then he grabbed his laptop and opened Skype to call Hajime and Kaito first. They caught up on everything that had been going on in their lives lately, and the three boys talked for almost two hours. Afterwards, Hiki prepared himself a little snack and called Sophie, since there was enough time until Howl came back home. Ever since Christmas, they had Skyped on a regular basis. Sophie had become something like a big sister to him. No matter what, she always lent an ear to Hiki and had good advice for him. She was the first and only female in his life that he had such a strong relationship with, and he was most grateful to have her in his life. They talked about his worries about Howl’s recent insanely busy schedule.   
“Don’t worry too much, Mochi. He told me about that project and it’s very important to him, that’s why he’s so stressed out. Just be patient and be there for him. And don’t take it to heart if he gets grumpy. Just make sure he always has enough snacks,” she giggled. Hiki always felt better after talking to her. He jokingly called it the “Harada Effect”, because he also instantly felt better when Howl was around.   
_ Just don’t overthink _ , he told himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Shoji is a Cyper Security Consultant. His qualifications are CISSP which stands for Certified Information Systems Security Professional and OSCP which stands for Offensive Security Certified Professional  
It's hard to find people with all those qualifications in that line of work.


	13. The Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! ;)

A couple of days later it was finally Friday, the supposed beginning of their disturbance-free couple weekend. Hiki's day started as usual: he woke up, prepared breakfast, they ate together and Howl left for work right after. It was always the same and Hiki loved and enjoyed their daily routine. He thought his life with Howl was pretty much perfect. They were both healthy, didn’t have to worry about money, Hiki did great at Uni, Howl’s company was flourishing and their sex life was absolutely amazing. Although they didn’t have the opportunity to do it in a while and Hiki missed his lover’s warmth, he was incredibly grateful that their only issue was their lack of time together during weekdays. Well, and currently, due to Howl’s busy schedule, also on the weekends. But he had promised they would spend this whole weekend together without any interruptions. Hiki really hoped that Howl would be able to keep his word, for the simple reason that he thought his lover could really use a break.  
Since Hiki was still on his spring break from Uni, his working hours had changed a little. Normally he didn't have to work on Fridays, which was convenient, so he could do some grocery shopping and finish all his chores in order to not have anything to do on the weekends, but during his break from Uni, he had to work from noon to five. Hiki planned on rushing home after work, doing the laundry and buying groceries; then he'd make dinner and wait for his lover to come home.   
"Hikkun, don't stress yourself out so much," Howl had said after Hiki had told him about his plans at the breakfast table. "Because I might be home late today. I'm not sure yet, I'll call you later and let you know, but you might not have to cook dinner."  
"Oh, okay..."  
"Don't be sad, Hikkun. Remember, Saturday and Sunday will be just for us."  
Hiki sighed as he thought about their conversation, and started doing his chores.   
Around 11:15 he stopped cleaning and gathered the things he needed for work. It took him 20 minutes to get to the Cosplay Café, so there was no rush. But just when he was about to leave, he noticed that a part of his costume was missing. He frantically searched everywhere, but he couldn't find it. Suddenly, his phone rang. It was Howl, probably to tell him if he would be able to make it for dinner. Without saying a greeting after picking up, Hiki asked: "Howl, have you seen my ears?!"  
"Um… yes, they're very cute and they turn red when you're flustered. I just love nibbling on them…"   
"No, Howl, my cat ears for work! Jeez. I can’t find them, I’m going to be late...”   
“I haven’t seen them, Hikkun, sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be home late after all.”   
“Yeah, thought so… Ah, I found them. Dammit, you buried them under a pile of laundry, how many times have I told you to put your dirty laundry in the laundry basket and not to throw them on the valet stand,” Hiki scolded his sloppy lover. “Anyhow, gotta hurry, talk to you later.” He hung up, grabbed his bag and rushed out.   
Howl sighed guiltily. “I’ll make up for it,” he said to himself. 

As expected, Hiki was late and was heavily scolded by the manager. He apologized repeatedly and rushed to the locker room to get changed. His coworker was mad at him too, since Friday was the busiest day of the week and she had to serve his tables as well.   
Hiki did his best to make up for his slip up and even cut his break short. Normally it was 30 minutes long, but after resting for 10 minutes, he got up and was ready to head back, when suddenly his phone buzzed.   
It was a message from Kinsley, which was quite surprising. Hiki couldn’t remember ever sending him a text message before. As he opened it, his heart started racing and his palms got sweaty. _ Why am I getting so nervous all of a sudden _ , he wondered.   
[Hikaru-kun, please call me back as soon as you can. It’s important.]   
Hiki’s heart throbbed violently in his chest as he called Howl’s assistant. “Kinsley-san, what’s wrong?” he asked bluntly, not wasting any time with formalities.   
“Oh, that was fast. Hello, Hikaru-kun. I’ll get straight to it. We have been in a car accident. He’s not badly injured, but he hit his head and lost consciousness. They brought him to the hospital where he’s at the intensive care unit until he wakes up. Other than that, he’s fine. No broken bones or anything like that,” Kinsley explained calmly.   
“Are you okay?” Hiki asked.   
“I am, thank you. I’m at the office now to reschedule his appointments.”  
“Thank you, Kinsley. Which hospital is he at?” Hiki was shocked to the core, but he tried not to let it show. Kinsley gave him the address and Hiki Googled the fastest route from the café. He immediately changed into his normal clothes and went to the manager’s office. He knocked but didn’t even wait for him to respond. He just opened the door, bowed deeply and said: “I apologize, but I have to leave.” Then he rushed out, leaving his stunned boss and coworker behind. He didn’t care if he lost his job, all he wanted was to see Howl. On his way to the hospital, Hiki felt so anxious he could barely stand it . The ride took about forty minutes, and after he arrived there, he quickly found reception.   
“Harada Howl. Can you please tell me where I can find him? He should be in the ICU, he was in a car accident,” Hiki explained frantically.   
The receptionist typed something into the computer. “And _ you _ are?”   
“Ueda Hikaru. I’m his… We live together.”   
“Are you related to him?”   
“Huh? N-No… I guess I’m not…”   
“Hmm… Sorry, but you can’t visit him,” she answered with a bored expression.   
“What? Why?!”   
“Please calm down, sir. You’re not a relative, and he can’t confirm that he’s familiar with you since he’s unconscious. Please understand that we have protocols to guarantee our patients’ safety,” she smiled coldly.   
“Safety? B-But… I don’t want to hurt him! Please...”   
“We have protocols, sir,” she repeated. “Come back tomorrow, maybe he will have regained consciousness by then.”   
“No, I can’t just leave!” It wasn’t like Hiki to lose his poise like that, but he was worried sick and frustrated to be treated like he was a random stranger to Howl, or even a threat. And going home without him was definitely not an option.   
“If you don’t want to go home, please move over to the waiting area. The line is getting longer. Next, please,” she called. Hiki was a little appalled by her demeanor, but of course, he did as he was told, walked over to the open waiting area which was connected to the entrance hall, and sat down on one of the chairs in a corner. The air smelled like chemicals and sanitizer. That scent was triggering to him and it made him feel even more unwell. He had spent quite some time at hospitals when he was a kid. Sometimes it was just because he got so sick that they had to seek medical attention, but sometimes it was because his mother had beaten him too hard, so his wounds needed professional treatment. Though, of course, he was always told by his mother to lie and say that he fell while playing outside. He was a big bother to his nannies who had to take him there, and they made sure to let him know as they scolded him for being so clumsy.   
After he had settled down on a chair, he bent over and leaned his elbows on his thighs, his head hanging as he teared up. The situation felt suffocating and his thoughts started spiraling. He wanted to see Howl, wanted to make sure he was okay. Kinsley had said that he was alright when he left but was that still the case? Would he even get informed in case something bad happened? Suddenly, a feeling of guilt kicked in. He wanted to apologize for yelling at him earlier. He had scolded him… because of some damn laundry. And he had ended the call so suddenly without telling him that he loved him and that he couldn’t wait until Howl came back home to him. That it was okay to work late, but that he was worried about Howl’s stress level. That Hiki would make sure he’d rest properly on the weekend and that he was planning to spoil his lover rotten. Tears were running down Hiki’s face as he softly sobbed. He felt scared, helpless and lonely...   
He inhaled and exhaled deeply and tried to calm down. For a moment he thought of calling his brother, but he didn’t want to worry him, so he decided against it. Instead, Hiki imagined Howl was right in front of him and that he was looking into his beautiful blue eyes. He imagined Howl’s deep voice telling him that everything would be okay and his big warm hands would hold his face right before he kissed him. He thought about what his lover’s heartbeat felt like when he was snuggled up against his chest. He stopped crying and calmed down bit by bit. Hiki accepted the situation and the fact that all he could do was wait for Howl to wake up. And that was exactly what he did. Wait. For hours and hours. From time to time he got up and walked a few steps to stretch out his legs. On one of his little walks, he noticed a vending machine for hot coffee. He usually had his coffee with half and half and loads of sugar. Howl always teased him by saying it wasn't coffee anymore, it was more like candy. Hiki giggled as he thought about Howl’s disgusted expression that one time he dared to take a sip... The vending machine obviously didn't have the option for huge amounts of milk and sugar, so he just got a normal one to help him stay awake. He took a sip and pulled a disgusted face. "Wow, that's so gross."   
“Heehee,” Hiki heard someone giggle. He looked around and saw a little girl with his mother walking by. She stared at Hiki and was smiling brightly. Hiki smiled back and waved at her. She waved back right before they walked around a corner and vanished. How peculiar, Hiki thought. But that little girl's smile had warmed his heart and distracted him for a moment, which was nice.   
He went back to his seat and drank the bitter beverage since he felt extremely fatigued and hoped it would help him. Rushing to work, the stress of being late and trying to make up for it, no real break, worrying and not eating since that morning… All that seemed to have taken a toll on him. After calming down earlier, Hiki had tried to reach Sophie to let her know about what happened, but she didn’t pick up the phone. He had tried several times, so in the end, he decided to just leave a message.   
Every couple of hours he walked up to the counter and asked the receptionist if there were any news, but she always answered with an annoyed "I’m not allowed to tell you anything".   
At sunrise, Hiki decided to step outside to take a breath of fresh air. He had held up pretty well, in his opinion, but he felt the need to go outside, even if it was only for a few minutes. Sometimes bad thoughts, followed by a wave of anxiety, popped up in his head, but he managed to suppress them by thinking about positive things. Like Howl’s face when Hiki surprised him with a badge of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. He always looked like a little boy who got his first bike for Christmas when Hiki made those for him. He remembered how Howl reacted when he had them for the first time on the day they met. Hiki thought about how quickly they had bonded back then and couldn't believe how fast their first year had passed. Their anniversary was coming up in not even a month, shortly after his birthday. He couldn’t wait to celebrate both days with his lover.   
He sighed. It felt good to inhale the cold morning air, but he was scared that Howl might wake up and the receptionist wouldn't find Hiki, so he walked back inside after a few minutes, sat back down and continued waiting.   
Around noon, he felt like his body was giving up. He had been at the hospital for 20 hours now. He was so tired and sleepy that he felt physically sick. Hiki leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. His view started to get blurry, when suddenly…   
"Hikkun?!"   
_ Great, I’m hearing Howl’s voice. I’m starting to hallucinate now _ , he thought.   
“Hikkun, what are you doing here?”   
“Silly question. I’m waiting for my Howl to wake up and go home with me, of course. I won’t leave without him,” he answered his hallucination in a daze. Hiki gathered the little strength he had left in his body and decided that he didn’t want to fall asleep. He sat up and suddenly jolted in shock. “H-Howl?!” He didn’t believe his eyes. Howl was standing right in front of him... in the waiting area. “Y-You’re awake? And you’re up? Am I hallucinating after all?” Hiki reached out and touched his confused lover. “You’re real!”   
“Of course I am real… Why are you here? You look horrible! And… Why are you wearing cat ears?”   
“I’m not wearing cat ears…”   
Howl reached out, gently pulled something from Hiki’s head and handed it to him. “You don’t?”   
“Ah… I forgot to take them off when I ran out… I guess… Heh, that’s probably the reason that little girl was so amused. Oh my…”   
“Hikkun, are you okay?”   
“Huh? Ah, yeah! But… are you?”   
“Yeah. I woke up last night and they ran some tests and kept me under watch. They just told me my results. I’m completely fine, so I can go home… Well, my cholesterol levels are too high, I need to cut down on my snacks, I guess. Tch.”  
Hiki teared up. Howl looked alright, aside from a bandage on the left side of his forehead. He felt so relieved.  
"Hikkun..." Howl knelt down in front of his emotional lover and embraced him. Tears ran down Hiki's cheeks as he clung onto Howl. “Hikkun, it’s not that bad, I just have to watch what I eat more and it’ll be back to normal soon…”  
"I’m not crying because of that, baka. I was so, so worried… They wouldn't tell me anything and I wasn't allowed to see you…" Hiki sobbed as all the suppressed feelings rose to the surface.   
"I’m so sorry, Hikkun. I would’ve called you, but I underwent some examinations, an MRI, X-rays and such. Those took quite some time. And I thought you were home… When did you get here? Didn’t Kinsley tell you that I’m okay?" he asked while he caressed Hiki's head to comfort him.   
"I talked to Kinsley around two, I think. I came straight to the hospital after we hung up. He said that you weren’t severely injured, but..."  
"Two pm? Yesterday? But weren’t you at work?" Howl asked, startled.   
Hiki nodded. “I... ran out and came here.”   
"Jeez, Hikkun. What if they fire you now?"   
Hiki pushed Howl away and glared at him with his teary, red eyes. "I don’t care, I was scared and worried! Would you just act as if nothing happened and continue with your life while I’m at the hospital after an accident?"   
"...No. Of course not," Howl answered earnestly.   
"See." Hiki sniffled and dried his tears with the sleeves of his sweater. "How are you feeling now? And what exactly happened?"   
"I'm okay, just a slight headache. Let’s go home now, you look worse than I do. I’ll tell you everything when we’re back.” Howl took Hiki’s hand to help his groggy lover up. Hiki had completely forgotten that they were in public, but he decided that he absolutely didn’t care at that point. Howl dried his lover’s tears properly. They called a taxi and went home. 

“Haa… Good to be back,” Howl sighed as they entered their apartment. “It was only one day, but I just hate hospitals.”  
“Are you hungry?” Hiki asked after taking off his jacket.   
“I’m starving, it’s past lunchtime. We should’ve stopped somewhere on our way back. Let’s just order in from the Chinese restaurant around the corner. It’s the fastest option. What do you think?”  
“I’m fine with that, I’m really hungry too.” Hiki slumped down on the sofa whilst Howl called the restaurant. He placed their usual order and sat down next to Hiki.   
“Hikkun, have you eaten at all?”  
“I don’t know. Not really, I guess. I wanted to eat lunch at work but I cut my break short because I had been late… Oh crap, I should call the manager… But first, I want to know what happened yesterday.”**  
**“Oh right. We were on our way back from an appointment and when we crossed a traffic light, another car that was coming from the right crashed into us. I hit my head and lost consciousness. I woke up at around one in the morning. They ran some tests and afterwards I fell back asleep since I wasn’t feeling well. I felt a bit nauseous and my head hurt. But when I woke up again later, I was fine. And there are no internal injuries, no memory loss or anything like that. It's just a concussion. I'm so sorry Hikkun, it must've been a horrible time for you." Howl gently caressed his lover’s cheek.   
"I’m just glad that you’re mostly okay.” Hiki smiled at Howl. He had felt relieved at first, but when his eyes wandered down, he suddenly noticed something. "Howl... your clothes…”   
Hiki lifted the jacket of Howl’s suit and uncovered a huge stain of dried blood on his shirt, and most of the buttons were missing. The paramedics must have ripped it open. Hiki's chest felt tight and his throat was burning. Suddenly a million thoughts went through his head. He imagined how the other car crashed into theirs, how Howl's head slammed against the window. He imagined how the paramedics performed first aid on his unconscious lover’s lifeless body. And there were so many ‘what ifs’... What if the other driver would have driven faster? What if Howl wouldn't have worn his seat belt? What if it had been a truck instead of a normal car? What if the accident had been worse and he had lost him? What if… Howl had died…?   
Hiki stared at Howl with tears in his eyes as an avalanche of anxiety crashed down on him. The mere thought of a future without him scared Hiki so much, he thought he would lose it. But the sudden sensation of Howl's big, warm hand on his face and his deep, gentle voice pulled him back.   
“Hikkun, look at me. I'm okay.” He took Hiki’s hand and placed it on his chest so that he could feel his heartbeat. “I’m alive. It’s alright. Head wounds tend to bleed more because blood circulation is higher in that area. It looks worse than it actually is. They wouldn’t have let me leave otherwise.”  
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to cry, but what if… I don't know what I would do…” he sobbed softly. “And I didn’t even tell you that I love you on the phone. Instead, I yelled at you. I’m so sorry… If that had been the last time we talked…”  
“You didn’t yell at me, Hikkun. You were irritated because you were stressed out, which was my fault. And just because you didn’t tell me that you love me, doesn’t mean that I don’t know that you do. I know you love me even when you’re mad at me, so it’s fine,” he assured him firmly. “And it doesn’t matter what _could have_ happened. What matters is what actually happened. And fact is that I hit my head like that because I wasn’t paying attention. I was going through some papers, so I couldn’t prevent my head from bumping against the window. It was just unfortunate. The wound isn’t even that big. They only taped it, I didn’t even need stitches. Maybe you can help me change the bandaid every day, I’m bad at stuff like that.”  
Hiki lit up. "I can do that! I can help! I’m very good at treating wounds by now!"  
_Jeez, don’t be so happy about it_, Howl thought, assuming that the reason for that was that he had to take care of his own wounds ever since he was a kid.   
“Let’s go to bed after we eat, Hikkun.”  
“Eh? But it’ll be too early…”  
“You can use a nap. And before you object, let me say that I feel like I do too. I want to lay in bed and cuddle with you.”  
Hiki nodded smiling. “Okay.”  
Their food arrived soon after and when they were done eating, they decided to take a shower together before going to bed. Normally when they did that, they ended up getting busy in between the sheets, but Hiki was way too exhausted, especially with his tummy full of Chinese food. They put on their pajamas, went straight to bed and Hiki snuggled up against Howl, who sighed contentedly.   
“Jeez, I was unconscious for hours, yet I’m super sleepy… Are you okay, Hikkun?”  
Hiki nodded.   
“Let’s sleep then.”  
“Yeah.” Hiki closed his eyes, his hand resting on his lover’s chest so he could feel Howl’s heartbeat. It felt so comforting and warm that he instantly fell asleep. Howl smiled fondly and closed his eyes as well. But only an hour later, his sleep was interrupted. Hiki had a really bad nightmare, so he tossed and turned around in bed, whimpering while breathing heavily.   
“Hikkun... Hey, wake up…!” Howl reached out, grabbed him by the shoulder and gently shook his lover awake.   
Hiki suddenly sat up, gasping. “Ah… No… No, no, no… Come back, Howl,” he whimpered.  
“Hikkun, it’s alright, I’m here. Look at me, I’m right next to you.”  
“Howl… You’re here...” Hiki huffed, realizing that it had only been a dream and that he was already awake.   
“Yes, I’m right here.” Howl slowly drew big circles with his palm on Hiki’s back and applied a slight amount of pressure with his fingertips as he did so. This sort of situation wasn’t new to him, so he knew what worked best to calm him down.  
“You were dying…” Hiki suddenly whispered. “There was blood everywhere, it was horrible. I was watching from afar, but I couldn’t do anything… because I couldn’t reach you. Then you suddenly vanished and everything went black. It was so cold, and I felt so, _so_ lonely. I called out to you again and again, but you didn’t answer. My voice just echoed in the darkness…”   
Howl assumed that he was still in a state of shock. “It’s okay, I’m not going to leave you, Hikkun.”  
He looked at Howl with a desperate expression on his face. “Promise?”  
“I promise.”  
“You won’t die ever?”  
“I promise, I won’t die ever. But you have to promise too!”  
"I promise, I won't die ever either," Hiki smiled. He knew how silly and childish they sounded and how unrealistic that promise was, but he didn’t care. He needed Howl to tell him those things and he needed to believe him.   
“We’re going to look like raisins at one point, you know…”  
“That’s fine. We're gonna be happy immortal raisins.”  
"Sounds great." Howl laid back down and opened his arms. “Come here, Hikkun.”   
Hiki didn’t hesitate to seek comfort in his lover’s embrace.   
“By the way, Howl... What about the other driver? Are they okay?”   
“Kinsley said he’s fine too. He was overworked, nodded off and accidentally stepped on the wrong pedal…”  
“I’m glad.”  
“I love you, Hikkun.” Howl hugged his mindful lover.   
“I love you too.”  
“Let’s sleep some more, it has only been an hour.”  
Hiki nodded and they both went back to sleep.  
  
A few hours later, Howl woke up because Hiki’s phone was buzzing on his nightstand. He saw the caller ID from afar and picked it up. “Wait a sec,” he whispered and slowly and carefully got out of bed and went to the living room. “Okay, I can speak now. Hey, Soph,” he greeted his twin sister.   
“Howl? Why are you picking up Mochi’s phone? Is he okay? He tried to call me 36 times yesterday and then he sent me a message telling me to call him back asap. What’s going on? ” she asked, worried.   
“36 times… Jeez.” Howl sighed. “He’s okay, he’s sleeping right now... I was in a small car accident yesterday, but I’m fine. Just bumped my head and was knocked out for a while.”  
“Dammit, Howl!”  
“Hey, it's not like I did it for fun…” he sat down on the sofa.   
“But you’re really okay?”  
“Yeah. Just worried about Hikkun. He ran away from work and spent almost 24 hours at the hospital all by himself. Of course, they wouldn’t let him see me or tell him anything. But that’s bad, he tends to overthink...”  
“Dammit, what great timing to lose my phone. I just found it again… in the fridge. My poor little Mochi.”  
“We talked earlier and I hope he’s in a better place now, mentally. I mean he’s still processing so many things from his past, and he’s great at dealing with them, but…”  
“But?”  
“You know, right after he moved in, I woke up one night because I heard him crying. He wasn't in bed, I found him in the closet. He was sitting in a corner curled up into a ball, sobbing. I asked him what was wrong and when I touched him he jolted and desperately begged me to stop and to leave him alone. I was appalled by his behavior, it was so unlike him, but I sat down next to him because I didn't want to leave while he was in that state. He didn’t seem to mind. When he calmed down and fell back asleep I picked him up and carried him back to bed. I asked him about it the next morning, but he couldn't remember a thing, except for having dreamed about his mother. Hikkun told me that he had nightmares ever since he was little, and sometimes he didn't want to go to sleep at all. Especially after Satoshi died. I mean… Can you imagine how it must feel like when your own brother gets shot in front of you and then dies on your lap? And then having a mother who terrorizes you on top of that…” Howl became so incredibly angry every time he thought about it. “Anyway, I researched a lot and came to the conclusion that it must've been night terrors. It's like sleepwalking, but you're stuck inside a nightmare. It usually only happens to kids, but there are exceptions."  
"Yeah, I read an article about it once…"  
“I tried to help him, but I was a bit overwhelmed by the situation, in the beginning, to be honest. Waking him up was impossible when he was physically active and out of the bed. Like that episode in the closet. He would just scream and cry out for help when I touched him or talked to him. But if I just left him alone, he quickly went back to sleep. When he stayed in bed and only flailed around there, I was usually able to reach him. With time, I found out what worked best for him and the night terrors decreased considerably. There weren't even that many to begin with. Once, maybe twice a week, but they were intense. It became better as time passed by. I think that the stronger our connection became, and the more secure he felt with himself, the better it got. And his last episode was in January after we visited his parents’ house. He only had two afterwards, I’m really proud of him. But my accident hit him hard, right now he’s scared to lose me. I hope it won't get worse again, it hurts me to see him like that...”  
"Has he considered seeing a therapist about his nightmares and childhood traumas?"   
"I asked him and he said he didn't want to. Only if I insisted, but I won't force him, it's not my place to do that. I don’t want to pressure him into something he feels uncomfortable with."  
"Yeah, I get that. What you’ve done so far obviously helped him a lot, just keep doing what you’ve been doing. You can reach him, he listens to you and he trusts you. He will be fine, I’m sure."  
"You’re right. He probably just needs a little time to digest what happened. I shouldn’t be crying wolf.”   
"Well, it’s normal that you’re worried, you love him. Also, you're doting on him a lot. You tend to be overprotective too."  
"Yeah, I know I should work on that…"  
"Actually, I don't think it bothers him. At least it doesn't sound like it when we talk about it. I would even say it's the opposite. But if you consider his upbringing, it's no wonder. His mother was abusive as hell and the rest of his family, except for Hajime, is unable to show emotions. So, of course, he isn't bothered by your behavior and might even enjoy it."  
"Jeez, Sophie… you're surprisingly well informed."  
"Well, I talk to you and I talk to Mochi a lot."  
"He really loves you, I'm glad that you two have developed such a strong bond. I feel like he needed a woman like you in his life."  
"I absolutely adore him. I'm so glad that you two found each other... Ah crap, I have to go, I have an appointment. I’ll call again tomorrow and talk to him, please let him know.”  
“Will do.”   
“Oh, before I forget, how did your little project go? Is that guy still such a pain in the ass?”  
“Yeah, but it's going well. I texted him earlier to inform him about what happened. He told me that he’ll let me off the hook for a couple of days, but it’s not over yet. It will be soon, though.”  
“Tell him that if he doesn’t do as he promised, I’m gonna come over from Hokkaido and kick his ass.”  
Howl chuckled. “I’m sure everything will work out fine. It has to. It’s even more important now.”  
“Take care, brother. And no more car accidents, got it?”  
“Yup. Bye Soph, thanks for calling and take care too.”  
Howl hung up and smiled fondly. No matter what, Sophie always found the right words. He felt a lot better. He got up and went back to the bedroom to check up on Hiki.  
“Hi,” Howl greeted him when he entered the room. Hiki was awake but still lying down.   
"Hi," he replied smiling. The blanket only covered his legs. He was lying on his stomach and his askew tighty whiteys revealed one of his buttcheeks. Howl swallowed heavily at that sight.   
“How are you feeling?" he asked as he laid back down next to him.   
“Shouldn't I be the one asking that? How's your head? Should we change the bandage?" Hiki asked while caressing Howl’s face.   
"They said I should leave it alone for today, we can change it tomorrow. And I'm alright, just a slight headache…"   
“Really? I’ll go and get your painkillers!” Hiki eagerly rolled around and jumped out of the bed, tripped and fell down on the floor. “Ugh! ...Dammit, why do I always trip over this damn blanket?” he grumbled.  
“Hikkun, are you okay? Jeez, with the amount of time you spend on the floor, I’m really glad I chose floor heating when I got the condo built,” Howl chuckled.  
"Tch, meanie," Hiki replied, got up and walked out of the room over to the kitchen to get Howl’s pills and a glass of water. His underpants were still stuck in his buttcrack and Howl couldn’t take his eyes off of that one cutely jiggling buttcheek.   
“Thank you, Hikkun.” He smiled when Hiki handed him the pill and the water.   
Hiki smiled fondly at him and wanted to walk over to the closet to get dressed so he could prepare dinner when he suddenly felt something pulling on his arm.  
“Uwah,” He cried out as he lost balance and fell, stomach first, on Howl’s chest.   
“Howl, are you crazy? I could've hurt you!” Hiki tried to get up, but Howl pulled him back down and kissed him. It quickly turned into a passionate deep kiss.   
“Mnh… Howl… Stop…” Hiki moaned. Howl had just said that he had a headache and he should probably rest, but he also wanted to just give in. Howl’s warmth, his scent, the closeness… Hiki was craving for it after everything that had happened.   
“Hikkun… I feel better now, so… can we do it?” he asked in that seductive voice that always made Hiki weak.   
“Nh, okay. But there’s going to be some conditions.” He got up and took off his undies while Howl watched him with hungry eyes.   
“Wh…What conditions,” he asked.   
“You'll leave everything to me. You're not allowed to move, got it?”, the butt-naked Hiki ordered him with a stern face.   
“Got it. I'll be good and hold still.”   
“Well then, aren’t you gonna take off your clothes too?”  
“You said I'm not allowed to move…” Howl grinned teasingly.   
“Oh, that’s right! Okay, hold on…” Hiki climbed onto the bed and began to pull Howl’s sweatpants and boxers down with both hands. When he reached his ankles, he gently pulled them off and threw them aside before crawling up to settle down on his lover’s thighs.  
“What about my shirt?”   
“It's okay. Right now, I want to focus on down here.” He took Howl's already half-hard dick in his hand and started caressing it. Gently at first, but as he felt it becoming harder, he began to move faster with pumping motions while teasing his tip with his thumb. He scooted down to lean over and suck and tease his balls with his tongue.   
“Kh… Hikkun…” Howl propped himself up on his elbows to be able to get a better view.   
Seeing Howl's reactions sent Hiki even deeper into his fervor. He took his fingers into his mouth, all the while never breaking his rhythm, and covered them in saliva. He felt as if he was in a haze as he brought them to his butt and pushed them in slowly. He made the unconscious decision to start with two fingers instead of one, he wanted to be ready as soon as possible. Though it felt a little uncomfortable, he moved them in and out slowly as he moved to start sucking on Howl’s now fully erect penis.   
“Ugh Hikkun, you're way too good at this…” Howl grunted. The sensation of Hiki’s hot mouth and tongue teasing his tip, plus watching him prepare himself… Howl could barely stand it.   
Hiki added a third finger. “Ngh!” He didn't like preparing himself. He preferred having Howl do it, it felt much better. But since he ordered him not to move, he was now stuck with the task. Hiki didn't realize how eager he was sucking on Howl's dick, until suddenly…   
“Nkh… Hikkun, I'm cumming… let go… Ugh!”   
But Hiki was far too focused on his preparations to realize what was going on until he felt Howl’s hot seed pour into his mouth.   
“MH!” With Howl’s last spurt Hiki finally released his dick from his mouth and, with a smile, swallowed it.   
“Thanks for the meal,” he giggled.   
“Dammit Hikkun, how many times have I told you to spit it out? Don't swallow it!” Howl scolded him.   
“Protein is healthy!” He smirked.  
“Buy protein shakes then, dang it.”  
Hiki giggled and reached over to Howl’s nightstand. Opening the drawer, he produced a large bottle of lube.   
“Oh, it's half-empty, we need to buy a new one soon,” he commented before spurting a good amount of the cold liquid on Howl’s still erect dick. This evoked a jolt from Howl that went unnoticed by Hiki. He positioned himself above his lover's hips, his dick behind him. He leaned forward slightly, inserted the applicator of the bottle into his entrance, and squeezed out some of the lube.   
“GAH! COLD!” He flinched.   
Howl burst out in laughter. “You don't say…”  
“Right, you always warm it up in your hands first, I forgot…” Hiki blushed. “I'm sorry. Did I make you cold down there? Here, let me warm it up again…” he smirked as he placed Howl's dick at his entrance and slowly slid it in.  
“NGH! Ah…” he lowered his hips. Hiki had to go very slowly; it was a little painful.  
“Ugh… Hikkun, you're really tight…” Howl grunted.   
“It's… because we haven't done it… ahh… in a while. Because you had to work so much… ugh… and my studies… Nh!”   
“No, it's because you didn't prepare it enough…pull out, it must hurt-”  
“No! It's fine. See, it's all in. Just… let me stay like this for a moment.” Hiki tried to stay calm and breathe evenly. He knew he would be used to Howl's size again soon, he just needed a minute. Using his arms to support his upper body, he braced himself against Howl’s stomach, his face beet red and panting.   
“I have to say that you look incredibly sexy in this position, Hikkun…” Howl growled out in a seductive baritone as he stared at him with feverish eyes.   
“Ngh! Don't get even harder, dammit...” Hiki gasped out. “I’m going to move now...” He started slowly lifting and lowering his trembling hips.   
It didn’t take long before it finally started to feel good; almost too good. Hiki moaned and huffed as he started to pick up speed, changing the movement of his hips from a rough up and down motion to a smooth and rhythmic back and forth slide. He leaned back and placed his hands on Howl’s thighs, his eyes closed in ecstasy. In this position, he was able to constantly hit that good spot all by himself. It felt great to be in control. Hiki felt like he was melting, when suddenly Howl grabbed his precum leaking rock hard dick, sending a jolt of electricity through his body that dragged him back into reality. He opened his eyes in surprise, but his body ignored his shock and continued to move on its own.  
“Ah… Howl, no! I told you not to move! Ah,” he scolded his lover as his body persisted in its fervent motions.   
“I'm not, see… You're the one doing the moving…” Howl grinned slyly.   
Looking down, Hiki saw that Howl was right. He remained still as every forward movement of Hiki’s hips thrust his dick into Howl’s steadily awaiting hand. The sensation of that combined with Howl's dick rubbing against his prostate gland almost drove him crazy. “Ah! Howl…! Too much! I can't…” Hiki moaned.   
“Hikkun… Move faster…” Howl’s face was as red and sweaty as Hiki’s. His eyes, glazed over with a feverish glimmer, showed that he was just as close to climax as the young man on top of him.   
“Ngh…!” Hiki shuddered.   
“Hikkun, did you just cum a little…?” Howl smirked.   
“Sh-Shut up!” He leaned over and kissed Howl fiercely. Howl took the opportunity to grab on to him and started thrusting vigorously.   
“NGH… AH… NO,” Hiki protested in between steamy kisses, but Howl didn't listen. He no longer had the strength to hold back and continued his relentless assault, his resolve fully broken by the desperate pants and moans of his lover writhing on top of him.   
“NO! AH… I'M GONNA… CU-... AAH!!!” Hiki trembled, his dick spasming violently as he came on Howl's stomach. Howl was close behind him, pulling out and climaxing on Hiki’s back shortly after.   
Hiki slumped down on Howl's chest. Both were breathing heavily. They stayed like that for a while before Hiki rolled off and dropped down onto the bed next to Howl.   
“Haa… Haa… Dammit… that was so good, Hikkun…” Howl huffed breathlessly as he took off his stained shirt, wiped off his cum from Hiki’s back and threw it on the floor.  
“You cheated…” Hiki mewled with a pout.   
“I'm sorry, but it's hard to hold back when you look so hot… Definitely not my fault.” He pulled his lover into a tight embrace, which Hiki returned. Of course, he wasn’t actually angry at him.   
“Idiot…” he whispered. Their post-sex skin on skin cuddling was Hiki’s favorite part. He thoroughly relished the feeling of lying in Howl’s arms, caressing his chest. But suddenly he noticed something.   
“Um… Hikkun…?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why do you keep poking my belly with your finger?”  
“Oh… Sorry,” he giggled. “It’s so soft.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, it was always firm, but now…” He poked Howl’s stomach again. “It’s soft and you kinda have love handles…”  
“L-Love handles?!”   
“I like it, it’s cute.” Hiki looked at him and smiled.   
“I guess you’re right. I have gained a little weight…” Howl frowned.  
“It’s because you’re stress-eating so much lately. I don’t know what it is that worries you so much, but you seem to be more stressed out than usual. I’m worried, to be honest...”  
“I wasn’t aware that you noticed. I thought you were too busy with your studies, but there’s no reason for you to worry, trust me. And I will slow down on my snacking.”  
“It’s okay, though… for now. But as soon as your stress has calmed down, you will go on snacks withdrawal. It’s not good for your health when you eat too much sugar and fat. You get tired more easily, you know?”   
“I know it’s a really bad habit… Hikkun, can you please stop poking my belly now...”  
“But it’s so squishy~” Hiki laughed. “Speaking about food, I’m starting to get hungry. I’ll go and take a quick shower and cook dinner.” He kissed Howl and crawled out of the bed.   
“Aren’t you still tired? You barely slept…”  
“I’m fine. I’m too hungry to sleep now after all the things we just did,” he grinned and walked out. Again, Howl enjoyed watching his lover’s wiggling little butt as he walked into the bathroom. He sighed lovestruck.   
"Oh, by the way…" Hiki peeked his head through the door. "Same goes for you. You don't have to worry about me because of my nightmares. I'm fine."  
"I know, Hikkun. It has become much better lately. It's okay if it happens though because I'm here and I always will be," Howl replied, smiling. Hiki nodded and smiled back brightly before he shut the door.   
“Jeez, I love him so damn much. Tch, I can’t believe I let him notice. The old man is getting to me, I have to pull myself together more...” Howl mumbled to himself and slowly drifted off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter leads up to Hiki's birthday, but it would've gotten much too long, so I extracted this part ^^  
Hope you'll enjoy ^^

When Howl woke up an hour later, the smell of a freshly cooked meal tickled his nose. He smiled lovingly, got dressed and went over to the living room. Hiki had already set the dining table.   
“Ah, you’re awake! I was just about to come and get you. It’s late already, you should eat something; you haven't had anything since breakfast at the hospital, right? How are you feeling?” He smiled as he placed a big bowl of rice on the table. Howl walked up to him, placed a soft kiss on his lips and caressed Hiki’s cheek.   
“I’m alright, thank you, Hikkun. I can't believe that I fell back asleep.”  
"That’s good, you should rest as much as you can. Good thing tomorrow is Sunday, so you can spend the day at home. You're going to work on Monday, right?"   
"Yeah, there’s a lot to do. And the car repair shop will pick up the car to get it fixed, too."  
They sat down to eat when Howl suddenly remembered something. “Oh, by the way… Kaito will get his driver's license soon, right?”  
“Hm, yeah. He’s super excited. He worked a lot of double shifts at the konbini so he could afford the lessons.”   
“Does he already know what type of car he wants to buy?”  
“He said that he won’t be able to get one any time soon. He’ll have to save up some money first. But he really needs one. It’s super troublesome for him to get to work and back and to do grocery shopping and such just with his bike. And it’s pretty dangerous in the dark since it’s a rural area with no street lights… I mean, he’s used to it by now, of course, but it sucks.”  
“Do you think he would like to have my car?”  
“Huh? Do you want to buy a new one?”  
“Yeah, I’ve been driving this one for a while now, I’d like to get a newer model. Like I said, it will be as good as new after they fix it. He can have it...”  
“But he doesn’t have any money… Especially not for this kind of car...”  
“As if I would take money from him. Kai is like a part of your family, which makes him part of mine. He can just have it. And that would also save me the trouble of selling it. They said it’ll take them about a week to fix it. I should just call him and ask if he wants it.”  
“Wait… You want to give your brand new Audi Q7 to Kaito and buy another car… Just like that? Isn’t that a bit… wasteful? Wait… Never mind, I’m sorry, your money is none of my business, I shouldn’t have said that.”   
“You’re my partner, so it is your business. I guess we’ve never really talked about it, huh… Castle Tech isn’t my only source of income. I also still own shares of Harada Sweets, my father’s company, and I invest money. In stocks for example.”**  
**“Are you rich or something?” Hiki asked bluntly without thinking.  
“I have you, so the answer is yes,” Howl answered, smiling.  
“Aww, that was sweet,” Hiki grinned and kissed him.   
"See, Hikkun, when I was a kid, my father used to tell me about his childhood. He said that we should be grateful for the success of the company and for what my grandfather had created. Because when he was a kid, his family lived in poverty. They sometimes had to decide if they’d buy food or pay their mortgage. Then, my grandfather made some very smart decisions and the company became a huge success. They both worked very hard and he taught me some things about being a good businessman. I never took my family’s or my own fortune for granted, everything could be gone in an instant, so I don’t rely on it. That’s why I bought this floor and built the condominium. It’s an investment in the future. And that’s why I save money, but sometimes I also like to spend it. I work hard for it too, after all.”  
"Come to think of it, you don't really spend a lot of money..." Hiki realized as he was loading his plate with seconds.  
"Not really. I spend money on clothes, since I need good quality suits for my job, and I like to drive a nice car. But other than that…"  
"And you like good food."  
"True. I love good food and I don't mind spending money on it. And I have my own 5-Star Chef after all, so…"  
"I could never earn any Michelin stars though, you always exaggerate," Hiki rolled his eyes, smiling.  
"No Michelin stars, but Howl stars. And those are much harder to earn."  
Hiki giggled. "Sorry if I was being too nosy."  
"It's fine, you can ask me anything. So now you know. I invest some of the money I make, and I save some. Oh, and I also make donations to different charities on a regular basis.”  
“Oh really?”  
“Yeah. As I said, I don’t take money for granted and there are less fortunate people who need it.”  
“But when I gave money to Shoji-san, you scolded me…” Hiki pouted, confused.   
“That was a completely different case, Hikkun. It wasn’t because of Shoji, it was the situation. You gave a lot of money to someone you didn’t know and he could’ve been someone dangerous who could’ve harmed you. When I make donations, I give money to an organization or an institution and they use it for whatever is needed. By the way, after that incident, I started including an organization that helps the homeless.”  
“You did? That’s awesome! And I get it, I guess. But luckily everything turned out well and Shoji-san is doing great in your company, right?” Hiki smiled broadly.   
“He is, indeed. Anyhow, in conclusion, it’s great not having to worry over money, but what I value more and what I really want in life is happiness. And now that I have you, I literally achieved my life goal." Howl smiled at Hiki fondly.  
“I love you so much.” Hiki leaned over and kissed his lover.   
“I love you more.”  
“That’s absolutely impossible,” Hiki objected teasingly. “Hmm, I think Kaito would be happy about your offer, but I’m not sure if he will accept such an expensive car as a gift."  
“We’ll see. Let’s call him tomorrow."  
Hiki nodded and they finished their meal.

The two of them spent the whole next day in bed and on the sofa, doing absolutely nothing but enjoying their time together. In the afternoon, they took a hot bath. It was one of Hiki’s favorite things to do with Howl. Their bathtub was pretty big, yet, they were always snuggled up against each other. Hiki was lying back on Howl’s upper body, whilst Howl was caressing his lover’s smooth chest. “This is great,” he huffed.   
“Mm-hm. But Howl, if you get dizzy because of your head injury, we’ll get out immediately, okay?”  
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you know.”  
“Good, because you’re too heavy for me to pull you out of the tub.”  
“I told you, I’ll take care of those extra pounds...”  
Hiki giggled. “No, I mean, you’re so tall… You’re a giant.”  
“I’m average.”  
“Well, maybe by European standards, but not for Japan, that’s for sure.”  
“Yeah, that’s true.”  
“I like it, though. You’re so handsome...” Hiki turned around and kissed him. He then laid his head on his lover’s chest and listened to his heartbeat for a while as Howl gently caressed his back.   
“Alright, I’m at my limit. Sit up, Hikkun, I want to wash your back, let’s get out of here.”  
“Eh? Already?” Hiki asked, startled, but did so. “Are you feeling dizzy?”  
“No, I’m fine. I’m just… Well, I want to do it. And since you don’t like doing it in the bathtub…”  
Hiki blushed deeply. “W-Well, I don’t like it when the water gets inside…” he mumbled.  
“That’s why I want to switch over to the bed.” Howl quickly grabbed a bottle of shower gel and carefully started scrubbing down Hiki’s back. He always made sure to be gentle, because some of the bigger scars Hiki’s mother had left on him were a little sensitive. When Howl was done, he turned around and Hiki did the same for him. Although he wanted nothing more than to drag his lover to their bed and eat him up, they took their time for their bathing rituals. Scrubbing their backs, washing their hair, and so on. After they were done Hiki also changed Howl’s bandage.  
“Oh, it’s not even that big of a wound…” Hiki said, surprised after he carefully peeling off the old bandage.   
“I told you… I was just unlucky to hit it in a way that made me lose consciousness…”  
Hiki placed the new plaster on Howl’s wound and kissed him on the forehead. Howl, who was sitting on the edge of the tub, looked up at Hiki. He was standing right in front of him; both were still butt-naked. Hiki grabbed his lover’s face with both hands and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. They immediately switched to deep kissing. Howl got up, took Hiki’s hand and they walked over to the bedroom.  
“Okay, Howl… Stop! We’ve been at it for two hours now, I came so much I can’t anymore... I need a break, pleaseee.” Hiki panted underneath Howl. “And... I told Kai that I was gonna call him at five and it’s past four already. I want to take a shower first, so…”  
“Dammit,” Howl pouted and pulled out.   
“Ngh!!” Hiki jolted.   
“Ah, sorry, that was too fast. Are you okay?”  
Hiki nodded and sat up. “Ugh, I feel sore. It'll be a pain to work tomorrow… Oh, wait… Maybe I won’t have to worry about that after all.” He suddenly remembered that he had dashed out of the café two days prior, without any explanation. He still hadn’t called his workplace either, because he wanted to talk to the manager in person on Monday.   
“It’ll be fine, Hikkun.” Howl kissed him and got off the bed. “They would be stupid to fire you, you’re great at your job. And the customers love you, right?”  
“Well, I don’t think that matters much, but we'll see…” Hiki got off of the bed too and they went to take a shower together. Afterwards, Hiki went straight to the living room with his laptop, started it and quickly opened Skype, since it was time to call his friend.   
"We took too much time in the shower and I blame _you_, Mister," Hiki shouted.  
Howl had gone to the kitchen to prepare a little snack for them. “I have no regrets,” he replied.  
"Hey, Hiki!" Kai greeted him after picking up the video call on his phone.  
"Hi, Kai! How’s it going?"  
"Niichan, I'm here too," Hajime greeted him bashfully and shoved his head into the webcam frame, followed by an “Ow, watch it, klutz! That was my head” from Kaito.  
"Of course the two of you are together, why am I not surprised," Hiki smiled. He hadn't talked to them in a while, they had only texted in their group chat, so he was happy to see them.  
"I went to Hajime's right after work. Hey, Hiki... You're glowing… You just had sex, didn't you?" Kaito asked bluntly with one eyebrow raised. Hiki instantly blushed.  
"What? No! And I'm not glowing!"  
"Liar," Howl said as he placed a plate full of sandwiches and a mug on the coffee table, and sat down next to him. "We just did it. Multiple times. And once in the shower."  
"Ha, I knew it!"  
“Ew, gross,” Hajime whined.  
"Dammit, Howl! And you guys shut up," Hiki scolded them, flustered.   
Howl chuckled, reached for the cup and handed it to Hiki. “Here.”  
"Ooh, is that hot chocolate?"  
"Yup. With whipped cream and sprinkles, as usual," Howl smiled at his lover.  
"That's so sweet of you, thank you," Hiki sparkled.  
"Can you stop that, please? Your lovey-dovey behavior is pretty annoying," Hajime muttered.  
"Don't listen to him,” Kai intervened. “He's just cranky because we can't spend much time together these days. I have to work a lot to save up money for a car." Kaito explained.   
“Well, about that…” Howl started. “How would you feel if I offered you to buy my car?”  
“_Your_ car? I would probably burst out in laughter because I would never be able to afford such a car…”  
“Well, I’m going to buy a new one, and I have no use for it. Selling it would be way too troublesome, I don’t have time to deal with that. I’ll sell it to you for a good price. I should mention though, I got in a car accident on Friday, so it’s a bit damaged right now but it’ll be fixed and like new by the end of next week.”  
“Uwah, Howl-nii, an accident? Are you okay?” Hajime asked worriedly. “Is that why you have that thing on your forehead?”  
“Yeah, I hit my head, but I’m fine.”  
“That’s good to hear,” he sighed relieved. “But what happened?”  
“I’ll tell you next time we see each other,” Hiki chimed in. “Kai, what do you say?”  
“Um, thank you, Howl, but I’m sure that even your ‘good price’ would be too much for me.”  
“Kaito, listen, you’re basically Hikkun’s brother, so you’re family. It would mean a lot to me if you’d take my offer.”  
Kaito was obviously a little flustered by Howl’s words, but he tried not to show it. “H-How much are you selling it for?”  
“Before I tell you, you have to promise that you’ll buy it if it’s a price you can afford.”  
“Say yes, Kai! His car is super cool, and it would be perfectly suited to drive on the bumpy roads around here,” Hajime cheered his boyfriend on.   
Kai looked at Hiki, who was just smiling and slightly nodding. “Um… uh… Okay…” he caved.   
“Promise me,” Howl insisted to make sure Kai wouldn’t bail on him in the end.  
“Okay, I promise that I’ll take the offer if I can afford it. But it might take some time to save up...”  
Hiki could tell that his best friend was nervous. He sipped on his hot chocolate, amused, knowing what Howl’s offer would be.  
“I want 15.000 Yen (Note: $140),” he said sternly.  
Kaito stared at him, startled. “Huh? No way, that’s ridiculous. Are you making fun of me?”  
“I would never. And you promised!” Howl glared at him.  
“Yeah, Kai. You promised,” Hiki sneered.  
“But… I can’t accept that… It’s way too little for such a car...”  
“You have to, Kaito. I’m a businessman, and giving someone your word means something. You would defile my honor.”   
“I… Uh… Okay, then… I won’t back out. Thank you, Howl. I don’t know what to say…”  
“Uwah, Kai! That means you won’t have to work so much after you get your license, that’s awesome! You’re tired all the time, you can finally get some rest! And you won’t have to drive around with your bike in the evening when it’s dark or during the rainy season,” Hajime rejoiced. Kaito was close to tears as he realized what just happened and how it would affect him.   
“When will you get your license?” Howl asked.   
“Um, in about a month. If I pass, that is…”  
“Alright, I’ll rent another parking lot downstairs at the garage then, and as soon as you get it, you can come and pick it up yourself, how about that?”  
Kaito nodded with a stern expression, but his face was glowing red with excitement. He wasn’t someone who usually showed his emotions. One would call him a tsundere character, but those who knew him were able to read his moods. Howl and Hiki could tell that he was completely overwhelmed, so Hiki tried to distract his friend and ease his tension.   
“Hey guys, before I forget, are you coming over for my birthday?” he asked, smiling.   
“Oh… Um…” Hajime's reaction was strange. “I’m… I’m sorry, Niichan, but I can’t. I have Uni that day. It’s a super important lecture…”   
“And I have to work, I’m sorry,” Kaito said. “I tried to switch shifts, but my coworker said no…”   
“Oh… Okay. But since it falls on a Friday, what about Saturday or Sunday?”  
“I’ll have to work during the weekend, too. Even with Howl’s generous offer, I still have to earn money…”  
“Yeah, and I’ll have to study. Father won’t let me go anywhere until my grades have improved. I’m so sorry, Niichan. I’m sure we’ll find another opportunity to-”  
“It’s fine. It’s not that important,” Hiki smiled. He didn’t show it, but he was sad that neither of them would be there on his birthday.   
He quickly changed the topic and they talked for a bit longer before they ended the call.   
“Hikkun, are you okay?” Howl asked, noticing his lover’s thoughtful expression as they sat on the sofa watching a movie a while later. "What are you thinking about?"  
“I was thinking about my birthday. You know,” Hiki started, took Howl’s arm, lifted it, snuggled up against his side and placed his lover’s arm around his shoulders. Howl paused the movie so he could focus on Hiki, who was tracing invisible tracks with his finger on Howl’s thigh as he continued. “My family never celebrated birthdays, those were just regular days, nothing special. Our father usually just called us to his office, handed us a check, told us not to spend the money on useless things and that was it. And he does it to this day. Which is okay, that’s just how he is and I never gave much thought to it, but on Hacchan's 7th birthday, Kaito and I wanted to ask him if he wanted to play with us outside. We found Hacchan in his room and he was crying. When I asked him what happened, he said that he was sad because he had seen a boy in some telenovela celebrating his birthday. ‘Why can't we have cake and a party like that, Niichan,’ he asked me with those big teary eyes. I was heartbroken to see him like that. He didn’t cry easily, he was usually a very cheerful kid. I wanted nothing more than to make him feel better, so I told him that it’d be alright because his Niichan was going to take care of it. I told him to stay in his room and wait for me, dried his tears with the sleeves of my sweater and told Kaito to stay with him.” Hiki smiled fondly at those memories. Even at that age (they were only 8), his best friend loved his little brother dearly. “I had absolutely no idea how to do it, but I wanted to make a cake for him. I obviously couldn’t organize a party or anything like that, but I wanted him to at least have a cake. I was too young to go to the store by myself or to make one from scratch, so I snuck into the kitchen to see what I could find. We always had a lot of food in storage, so I was pretty confident I'd be able to whip something up. And I was lucky enough to find some castella. Since it's a basic sponge cake, it was perfect for my purposes, so I cut it in half horizontally and spread some of the custard pudding I had found in the fridge in between the layers. Then I covered everything with cupcake frosting and decorated it with some fresh strawberries. I cleaned up quickly and snuck back to Hacchan’s room. My heart was beating super fast, because if anyone would've caught me and told my mother… Ugh. Anyway, I made it back, opened the door a bit and told Hachhan to close his eyes. I placed the plate right in front of him, and Kai and I yelled ‘Happy birthday, Hacchan’. When he opened his eyes, he instantly started sparkling. Jeez, he was so cute… He hugged me and said I was the best brother in the world. He ate that whole cake almost by himself.” Hiki giggled. “And even though it was completely improvised, it was really good. From then on we did that every year. For Hacchan's, mine and Kai’s birthday. It was like our precious tradition and the memories I have of those days are some of the best, if not _the_ best, that I have of my childhood. Even when I was depressed after Satoshi passed away and my mother’s abuse had gotten even worse, when I wished I was never born, we still continued with our tradition. I always pulled myself together for those days. Even though I really didn’t like my birthday since my mother tended to be extra mean if she got a hold of me."  
"What do you mean 'got ahold of you' ?"  
"Well, she was usually in her room, but when she got drunk, she would often roam around the house. I tried to avoid her, and on my birthdays I tried to hide, but sometimes she found me. She hated the day I was born, and made sure that I did too. But our tradition made me start enjoying my birthdays a little bit. Even when she caught me, I knew Kai and Hacchan would be waiting for me, and after she was done with her beating and yelling, we would have our cake and it’d be just the three of us.”  
“That woman…” Howl always became incredibly angry whenever Hiki told him things about his mother. No matter how often he had told him about the things she had done to him, it was always shocking for Howl and he was at a loss for words.   
“It wasn’t that bad when others were at home though, she held back a lot. It was only really bad when we were alone. I still preferred not running into her... Anyhow, this year everything will be different. I moved away from home, so I don't have to worry about her anymore. But Hacchan and Kai won’t be here.”  
“I’ll be here,” Howl tried to comfort Hiki.  
“Oh, I know! I didn’t mean to affront you. I’m very excited to spend the day with you,” Hiki smiled.  
“You didn’t. You will miss your family, I understand, but I can’t change that. What I can do though, is try my best to make that day special for you.”  
“It will be special no matter what because I’ll be with you.” He smiled at his lover who kissed him softly.   
“You know what I don’t understand? Why is your mother going after you like that? I mean, why only you? Not that I'd wish the same to your siblings, but what have you ever done to her? I mean despite idiotically blaming you for Satoshi’s death, she abused you even before that happened, right? Why? It doesn’t make any sense to me...”  
“I don’t really know the reason. Only what she used to yell while she was beating me. That I should have never been born and that I destroyed everything and ruined her life. But I don't know why she said that. It would make more sense if I was her only child, but… I’m not… I will probably never know why she hates me so, so much. The only thing I know for sure is that she’s severely mentally ill. I overheard a fight between my father and Hiroki once. It was right after Hiroki found out about the abuse when he caught her beating me with a broomstick. He tried to convince father to commit her to a mental institution permanently, so she could get the help she needed, but he refused. Father said that if he did that, her family would tear him and everything and everyone around him apart. My uncle might not be that powerful or high in rank in the clan he’s in now, but their family clan is. It was also an arranged marriage, so he was probably scared that it would mean war between the two clans...”  
“Jeez, Hikkun, there’s so much going on in your family…”  
“I know. I’m glad that I’m not really a part of it anymore, thanks to you. But my father is a good man. He didn’t send her away to keep us safe, as weird as it sounds. Her family are horrible people. If he had dirtied my mother’s honor by committing her to a mental institution, they might have killed him and taken us in… I don’t even want to think about that. And after all, the physical abuse stopped after that. Maybe he threatened her or something… I don’t know. And because of you, I don't have to worry about any of that anymore."  
"You know, Hikkun, you always thank me for getting you out of there, but let's be real, you would've done it on your own too. You were able to fight for your dreams and for your future. Look at how great you're doing at University. You would've moved out eventually, even without me. You're strong-willed, you don't need me to accomplish anything. You can do that all on your own."  
"Hmm… Maybe that’s true, but it was you who taught me that I'm worth being loved… That I have a right to be alive, and that I'm allowed to be happy. I hope that I can face my mother one day and tell her how I feel about her and my past. There are so many things I want to say to her, but I'm fine if that never happens, too. I love my life now and that’s all that matters. I never thought I would ever be this happy and _that's _definitely thanks to you. So you can take credit for that," he smiled.  
"I love you so much, Hikkun."  
"I love you more, and right now I really want you."  
"Let's get to it, then." Howl got up and picked up his giggling lover in princess-style to carry him over to their bedroom, where they spent the rest of the day embracing each other.

The next day, Hiki called his manager and tried to explain the situation, but he told Hiki that the owner of the café had gotten knowledge of the incident and was so mad that he ordered him to fire Hiki without notice. The owner told him that they would send Hiki's papers and his last check via mail. The young man accepted the decision. It was his own fault, after all. Nonetheless, he didn’t regret immediately rushing to the hospital that day. Howl came first, and fortunately, he had recovered from his accident quickly, even though he didn't slow down his working pace. Hiki was worried because he felt like Howl's stress and workload had gotten even worse. He was rarely at home anymore. **  
**Fortunately, Howl was able to find a little time that day, so they went to buy a new car. He insisted that Hiki goes with him, and although he felt like he wasn’t being of much help, he was happy that they could spend time together. Howl continuously asked him for his opinion, which Hiki found very cute, and he appreciated his boyfriend’s thoughtfulness and his efforts to involve him in the process.   
Originally, Howl had planned to get a newer model of his old car, but in the end, he picked a classy black Century hybrid. Hiki liked it a lot and thought that it really suited his lover. Howl promised that they would go on a road trip as soon as the car got delivered, which made Hiki feel super excited. Howl also assured him that he would have more free time soon because the project he was working on was almost finished.

But two weeks later, the day before Hiki’s 19th birthday, Howl had once again announced that he would be home late. As usual, Hiki did the chores before taking a bath and cooking dinner.  
After he was done, there was still an hour left until Howl returned, so he thought it would be a good opportunity to call his brother; however, Hajime didn't pick up. Hiki tried calling Kaito since those two were always together, but he didn't reach his childhood friend either. "They're probably busy, then," he said to himself. The moment he decided to put his phone away, it suddenly started ringing. "Hacchan," he asked excitedly after he picked up the call.  
"It's me, Hikkun. I won't be able to make it for dinner. It's gonna be later than I thought, so please go ahead, eat and go to bed. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day, you should rest as much as you can."  
"Oh, okay. I'll-"  
"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I love you and I miss y-... Huh? Yes, yes, I'm coming! Gotta go, Hikkun. I love you, sleep well.” And just like that, the call ended before Hiki could even say anything. There was a lot of commotion in the background, and he seemed pretty stressed.  
Hiki sighed. "As if I can ‘sleep well’ when you’re not here, baka," he muttered and went to the kitchen to place in the fridge the meal he had cooked, except for a small portion for himself. He sat down at the kitchen counter and ate. He hated being alone at night. Even though he loved their home, it just felt so lonely without Howl. The emptiness of their spacey condominium felt almost crushing. He finished his plate and went to the bedroom to change into his pajamas. He then grabbed a book and slipped under the sheets to read until he felt sleepy.   
  
When Howl entered their apartment a couple of hours later, he felt completely drained and all he wanted was to sleep. He actually would have preferred to cuddle with Hiki, since that was what comforted him the most after an awfully busy day, but his lover was probably already sound asleep and he surely didn't want to wake him up just for his own selfish needs. Or so he thought because when Howl peeked down the hallway, he saw light coming from their bedroom. His heart jumped. _He's still awake_, he thought and started taking off his clothes, and dropped them all over the floor as he walked to the room. He took off his pants and socks, at last, slowly pushed the door open and approached Hiki, who was sitting in the bed, focused on the pages of his book. When he reached the bed, Howl lifted the big blanket on his side and crawled underneath it, over to his absent-minded lover.  
"Wah!" Hiki jolted when he suddenly felt a tight grip around his waist. He lifted the sheets and saw Howl clinging onto him, his face buried in his lap.  
"H-Howl…? When did you get home…?"  
"Is your book so interesting you don't even notice when your husband comes home?" he said with a muffled voice.  
"It actually is, and we’re not married."  
"But we could be…"   
“It’s not possible here, you know that.”  
“Well, we could move...”  
“Don’t be silly. And I wouldn’t marry you anyway.”  
“Huh?” Howl raised his head and looked at him, startled.  
“Well, I could never marry someone who throws his clothes on the floor like a slob,” Hiki replied sarcastically, glancing at Howl’s pants, lying on the floor in front of the door.   
“Oh… I’ll put them away tomorrow morning, promise. I was just wayyy too tired to do it now...” He dramatically let his head sink back into Hiki’s comforting lap. “Back to the subject. What if...”  
"What if the laws here were different? What if my father would let us?"  
"Yeah, let’s say your father would let me add you to my family registry. I mean I can't change the laws, but that would be an option... If that was the case, how would you like to celebrate? A big party? A small one? Just the two of us?"  
Hiki knew that Howl loved to dream about their future. Having a wedding and a house... He especially kept bringing those things when he was stressed out from work, and it seemed to relax him. But it made Hiki realize that it was impossible for them to be acknowledged as a couple by law, which made him sad and even kind of angry, since their love was no different from a straight couple's love. But for his boyfriend’s sake, he just went with it.  
"Okay, let’s talk about it, but you need to stop speaking to my crotch. Get up, this is awkward."  
"Dun wanna. And your crotch is usually very responsive when it gets involved with my mouth," Howl chuckled.  
Hiki flushed. "I swear to… Get off of me now, baka,” he blustered and pushed Howl away.  
"Jeez, fine, fine!" Howl still grinned and got up. Hiki put his book away and lied down.  
"Okay, come here, silly. It's more comfortable like this," he opened his arms invitingly. Howl smiled, snuggled against his lover’s chest and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Hiki continued caressing his head.  
“Okay, you were right,” Howl sighed. “This is more comfortable. Now answer my question.”  
"I’m not sure how I would celebrate it, to be honest. What about you?"  
“I would invite our closest family and friends who were always supportive of us. We could have a little get together here or at a restaurant or something. I would pledge my love to you in front of everyone and then we would eat, drink, and just celebrate our love”  
"That sounds nice."  
"I would even like to invite my aunt who raised Sophie and me after our parents passed.”  
“Would you fly her in from England?”  
“If she wanted to come, I would.”  
“Do you think she would like to be there? Have you even told her about us? You never really mention her...”  
“I know that I don’t talk about her often, but I miss her a lot. We exchange emails frequently. I got her a laptop before we moved back here and taught her the basics. She’s not exactly a techie. She lives in the countryside at a cute little farm that keeps her busy. And although she’s very traditional, she’s also very open-minded. I told her about you, and I also sent her pictures of us. She’s happy for us and fully approves of our relationship. So I’m pretty sure she would come if her doctor gave his okay.”  
“Her doctor? Is she sick?”  
“She has some minor health issues, but it’s a long flight after all…”  
“I mean… A wedding isn’t going to happen anyway, but maybe we can visit her one day? I’d love to meet her…”  
“You know what, that’s a great idea. I wanted to take you there anyway. Maybe we can go next year. With how things are with Castle Tech now, I’ll be too busy to go this year. The company is growing fast.”  
“Next year sounds good.” Suddenly Hiki started giggling.  
“What is it, Hikkun?”  
“Nothing, I just imagined my father walking me down the aisle. He would never, it would be super awkward.” He giggled again.  
“But Hajime could do that, no? Hand you over to me…”  
“Oh that’s true, that would be great! Wait… It’s not going to happen. Howl, can we please stop talking about it now? I start getting carried away every time and it just makes me sad in the end…”  
“I’m sorry, Hikkun. I didn’t mean to make you sad… It should be something that makes you happy.”  
“Are you mad at me now?”  
“Not in the slightest. I understand.”  
“Okay… By the way… How was your day?” Hiki changed the subject.  
“Straining,” Howl answered.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Hiki asked as he caressed his lover's silky, blond hair.  
"There was a complete system outage at one of our client's estates and it affected their whole business really badly. It was disastrous. The person responsible for that client did something really stupid and used a hack to fasten their working process, but it can cause a lot of damage to the main system if not done correctly. That's why I prohibited my staff from using it. And he even altered the program, so it was impossible for my other IT workers to fix it."  
"Uwahhh... Even for Sasahara-san? He's your best man, right?"  
"Even for him. That person is currently on vacation too, so we couldn't even get a hold of him. I had to take care of it myself and basically reboot their whole system. Luckily Shoji was there. He was able to help, but it took me over seven hours of work without a break in the end. And after that... I had to do other things as well."  
"Wow, that sounds awful, you must be super exhausted. My poor Howl… Did you even eat?"  
"Yeah, Kinsley took care of everything else and his assistant brought me some convenience store food."  
"Oh right, you hired an assistant for him, I forgot. Do you want a proper meal before going to sleep? I can heat up what I made for dinner real quick…"  
"I'm not hungry, I'm just really tired. My brain and my body are tired. I just want to lie here and listen to your breathing until I fall asleep."  
"If you want to cancel our plans for tomorrow and rest, I wouldn't mind spending the day at home."  
"No way! If you knew what I’ve planned, you wouldn't say that. No, wait. Actually… _You _would. Because you're just the kind of person that would relinquish something for the sake of someone else. It's your birthday, Hikkun, and we're gonna celebrate it."  
Hiki smiled fondly. “Okay, let’s sleep then.”  
“Don’t you want to finish your book…? There's only a few pages left...” Howl asked drowsily.  
“It’s fine, it won’t go anywhere. Sleep now, my love.” He kissed Howl on the head and they both fell asleep. 


	15. Hiki's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is actually Hiki's birthday! I hope you'll enjoy his b-day chapter ^^

On the next morning, Howl, who had woken up before Hiki, entered the bedroom and sat down on the bed next to his still sound asleep lover. "Hikkun," he spoke with a low voice. "Hikkun, wake up…"   
"Mm… Nooo… Five mo' minnuss… I have to take the bucket to the drawer..." Hiki mumbled drowsily.  
"You have to do what?” Howl chuckled upon his nonsensical sleep talk. “Weirdo.” He leaned over and slowly covered Hiki’s whole face in soft kisses.    
“Mmmhhh, nooo… Go away, I wanna sleep more…” He groaned and turned around.   
“Go away, you say? Tch!” Howl got up and slowly let his whole body sink down onto his slender lover.    
“Wahhh, heavy! Howl, Howl, you’re heavy,” he gasped and laughed at the same time.    
“This is what you get for telling me to go away. I’ll crush you with my love,” Howl shouted and put all his weight on Hiki now.    
“Kyaa, no, no, I give up, I give up!” He still laughed.    
“Better.” Howl sat up and sunk back down on the place where he was sitting before, as Hiki huffed and puffed while sitting up.    
“I think you ironed my pajamas…”   
“Hey, I’m not that fat.”    
Hiki giggled and then he looked at his boyfriend. “Wait, why are you here? You said you’d be back home in the afternoon…” he wondered.    
“I took the whole day off and didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you.”   
Hiki smiled broadly. “I’m so happy! Thank you, Howl. I know you’re crazy busy.”   
“Well, it’s your birthday, after all. Nothing can be more important.”   
"It's my birthday," Hiki sparkled.   
"Yup." Howl smiled and swiped a strand of hair out of Hiki’s face. “ Happy Birthday, Hikkun. I love you more than anything in this world, thank you for being born and blessing my life with your presence every day," he smiled lovingly and kissed Hiki on the lips.    
“Th-Thank you,” he answered, flustered, and blushed.    
Howl then took the big coffee mug he had brought for Hiki and handed it to him. “Here.”   
“Ooh, thanks!” He took a sip and jolted. "Ouch, hot!"   
"Hey, don't damage these, I’ll need them," Howl said, then he leaned over and kissed Hiki softly on the lips.   
"Mmm… More…"  
"Does it still hurt?"   
Hiki nodded. “A lot…”  
"I heard you should lick wounds to help them heal…" Howl gently touched his lover's chin with his hand to slightly lift it up and let his tongue glid e over his lips. Hiki couldn’t help but open his mouth and press his lips on Howl’s. Their tongues entwined in a passionate kiss and a soft moan escaped Hiki’s lips when Howl abruptly ended their encounter.  
"Okay, that has to be enough, Hikkun…” he huffed. “Finish your coffee. I need to wrap things up in the kitchen for breakfast. Just join me when you're ready."   
“Mh, okay…” Hiki replied pouting.    
Howl smiled, ruffled through his disappointed lover’s hair, got up, and was about to leave when Hiki suddenly grabbed his hand.   
"What is it, Hikkun? Need anything else?"  
"Howl… Umm… C-Can we… do it…? Please...?" Hiki's face felt hot, but thanks to Howl, he wanted to do more than just kissing.   
"Good grief…" Howl had a hard time holding back at the sight of his aroused lover. "Trust me, I would like to do nothing more than to jump you, but I really can't. Not now. Let's see how you feel tonight. You might be too tired, but if you're fit enough, I'll devour you completely, promise."  
"I won't be too tired," Hiki mumbled.   
"We'll see." Howl kissed him on the forehead and walked out.   
"If I don't get my birthday sex tonight, I'm gonna be really pissed," Hiki grumbled to himself and took a big gulp from his coffee. He smiled and suddenly his heart started beating faster in excitement. He had no idea what Howl was up to, but he was sure that they’d have an awesome time. Hiki emptied his cup and then he got up to take a quick shower. 

"Howl, I didn't know what to wear since I have no clue where we're going, so I just went with jeans, a t-shirt, and a cardigan. I hope that's okay," Hiki shouted as he walked into the big living room. When he reached the dining table, he noticed that there were four plates set on it.    
“Eh? Howl, why did you put four-” he started his question, but suddenly two very loud popping sounds interrupted him and startled Hiki. The next thing he knew was that he was covered in paper streamers and confetti, and two very familiar voices yelled "HAPPY BIRTH DAY!!!". Hiki blinked in disbelief with his mouth and eyes agape.   
"H-Hacchan? Kaito? I thought you were busy... Am I dreaming, did I fall back asleep?"  
"No, Niichan, we’re really here," Hajime sparkled.   
"Your expression just now was worth getting up so early," Kaito sneered.  
Hiki teared up and leaped towards them to embrace his brother and his childhood friend. "I'm so happy! Thank you so much for coming!"   
"It was Howl-nii's idea, actually," Hajime explained after they parted. "He came to our house a few weeks ago and asked me if we'd like to surprise you on your birthday. Of course we were in! Sorry for lying..."   
"Eh? Howl, you went to Machida," Hiki asked confused. “You didn’t mention anything…”  
"Ah… Umm… Yeah well, your father is still one of our clients... And since I was already there, I used the opportunity to talk to Hajime and Kaito. You guys hadn't had the time to meet up ever since the New Year's celebrations, so it was perfect timing.”    
“But today is Friday… Hacchan, what about school?” Hiki asked, worried. “Your first semester at Uni has just started…”   
“It’s fine, father allowed it. I’m only missing one day, that won’t have a big impact,” Hajime explained.   
“Father did? Just like that?”    
“I did well in my final exams back in high school, so I used that as an argument,” he grinned. “We will be staying for the whole weekend!”   
"Really? That's awesome! Thank you, Howl!" Hiki hugged him.  
"I’m glad to see you happy again. I’m sorry for causing you distress, but I thought it would be a fun idea to surprise you.”   
“It was,” Hiki sparkled.    
“Alright now let's eat, we have to leave soon," Howl said as he kissed Hiki on the forehead.  
"You're still not going to tell me where we're going?"   
"Nope, it's a surprise as well, so-…" Howl’s ringing phone suddenly interrupted him. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. His expression instantly darkened. "Excuse me for a moment, I have to answer this," he said and picked up the call. "Good morning... Wait, now? But he knows what day it is, is he testing me? Never mind, of course he is… Yeah... Yes, I know...... Alright, my apologies. Okay, I'll be on my way… Alright, got it. I'll be there soon." Howl hung up and turned towards Hiki with a stern face. "I'm sorry, Hikkun, but I have to leave.”   
“Something at work came up after all, huh? Can’t be helped,” Hiki smiled in understanding.   
“Work? Oh, umm… Well, our plans aren’t canceled, but you’ll have to eat breakfast without me. I’ll do my best to be back as fast as possible. I'll call you when I'm on my way back." He kissed his astonished lover and left.   
"...Hey, Hiki, stop staring at the door like a dog who's waiting for his owner, he said he will be back soon.”   
“I know, Kai, but… It’s just that he's getting a lot of those calls lately and he always leaves in a hurry and is acting strangely. That’s been going on for a few weeks now. He is often away past midnight, which is very unusual. And when he's finally back home, he's either in a bad mood or completely exhausted… Or both. I mean, it's nothing new that work-related things come up suddenly, or that he has to work late sometimes; he's running a company after all. But it has never been this bad and he’s just weird and dodges my questions about it. I don’t know, something about this just feels… off."  
"He probably has a good reason. Maybe a difficult client or something," Kaito reasoned.   
"Kaito is right, Niichan. Don't overthink it."   
"I'm just worried about him, I can’t help it."  
"I get it. I was worried about Kai too when he worked so much to pay for his driver’s license. I'm sure it's gonna be fine." Hajime patted Hiki on the shoulder to comfort him. “Let's eat now before it gets cold, okay? We haven't had time to eat anything yet, so I'm starving."  
"Okay. You probably took the first train here, right?"   
"No, father said he had an appointment nearby when I asked him for permission to come, so he offered to give us a ride.”    
“An appointment nearby, huh...”   
“You know how he is. I’m sure he’ll eventually visit you…”   
“Yeah, no, it’s fine. He doesn’t have to come here, I don’t expect him to either.” Hiki said that, but he was still a little disappointed. He knew his father didn’t make a big deal out of birthdays, but as naive as he was, he still hoped that would change someday.  
"Wow! Hiki, this tastes great!" Kaito gasped after they started eating.   
"Hm…? Oh, yeah, Howl is a really good cook. But he actually hates cooking, that's why he gladly leaves it to me. Anyway, Hacchan, how’s Uni?"  
"Well, it’s only been three weeks but I already hate it," Hajime pouted.   
"I would ask why, but you never liked school, so it looks like that hasn’t changed. Have you talked to father about it?"   
"No. He still wants me to become an accountant for the family business, so I  _ have  _ to go. What a pain, why can’t I just live my life the way I want…”  
“Well, you're a math prodigy and he wants you to take advantage of that. But I think it's more important to do something in life that makes you happy. You’re very creative and outgoing, so an office job would probably be bad for you. But if you want to do something about it, you have to take the initiative and talk to him. Maybe you can compromise on something," Hiki smiled.    
“But… I’m not like you. I can’t just walk up to him and have a talk. I don’t even really like him, so that makes it extra hard.”   
“Hey, don’t say that. He’s our father and he loves us.”   
“Does he, though? He was and is barely at home and he didn’t protect you from  _ her  _ either.”   
“Because he didn’t know…”   
“If he would’ve been home more, he would have known!”   
“Hacchan, don’t dwell on the past so much, okay? That’s not good, you need to move on. This is about  _ your  _ life and  _ your  _ future, it’s important.”   
“Look who’s talking about moving on, when you were the one being only a shadow of yourself for the past, like, ten years,” Hajime scoffed. “Ow! Hey, Kai, don’t punch me, that hurt!”   
“Shut up, idiot! Don’t act like a damn brat. It took your brother a long time to process his past and you’re being a real dick now. And yeah, your father surely won’t get the “Best Dad” award, but we hadn’t noticed what was happening either and we were around him all the damn time,” Kai yelled at his boyfriend.   
“Yeah, and I still feel guilty about it,” Hajime admitted.   
“I’m sorry to make you feel like that, but she told me not to tell anyone and to lie about my wounds, and I obeyed. Because that’s just how things were ever since I was little. And when I got older and started realizing that it wasn’t normal, I kinda felt ashamed, and then after Satoshi died, I honestly thought I deserved it… But because she was so mad at me afterwards and the abuse got so much worse, I retreated from you, so it’s my fault.”   
“Hiki, please, don’t apologize. You were a kid and so were we. Damn it! How are kids even supposed to deal with crap like that? We shouldn’t feel bad, it’s the adults who screwed up! Tch, I guess we’re all damaged since none of us had a proper adult in their life, but isn’t it kind of amazing how we turned out? I mean, we could be much more fucked up, but I think we’re doing quite good, no?” Kai grinned.    
“I guess so,” Hiki giggled.    
“Sorry, Niichan. It’s your birthday and I was being mean,” Hajime mumbled regretfully with his head hanging down.    
“It’s fine, Hacchan. But I still stand by what I said. Whether you like him or not, that’s up to you. But this is about you and your life. You shouldn’t be underestimating yourself so much. Because you’re much more of a fighter than I ever was or will be. Remember the story Satoshi told us once about what you did as a toddler when mother hit you?”   
Hajime nodded, now grinning. “I bit her, ran away, told father what had happened, and he scolded her badly…”   
“Exactly. And she never laid a hand on you ever again, right? Because you fought back! That’s something I was never able to do. I think that’s why she focused only on me, and I’m so glad she did, to be honest. When Sato told us that story, I admired you. I still do, Hacchan.”   
“Niichan…”   
“And father wasn’t that bad after all, right? He yelled at her for slapping you and after he found out, the abuse towards me stopped too,” Hiki winked.    
“I guess you’re right. Maybe I should give him a bit more credit as a father…”   
“Anyhow, have you thought about what you’d like to do after Uni yet?”  
"I would like to become an architect! Math is part of it, but you also work with people and you can be creative… But father would never let me."  
"Talk to him. He won’t make it easy for you, that’s for sure, but you’re strong-willed, diligent and smart. You can reach your goals, I know it. If I can do it, you can do it as well. I believe in you, and I'll always have your back. Just like you always had mine."  
"Thank you, Niichan." Hajime said humbly. But he also firmly believed that their father would decline his plea for the simple reason that his brother had gotten his permission to take an alternative path already and he wouldn’t allow another son to abandon the family business. However, he didn’t mention that to Hiki.   
“Alright, Kai, it’s your turn now. How’s your dad doing,” Hiki asked his friend.   
"He’s fine. He still goes to work in the morning, comes home, gets drunk… Same old, same old. At least he’s a peaceful drunk. I prepare his meals before I go to work, so he’s good,” Kai explained. “I wish he was his old self, but my mom’s death broke him and I think he misses her more every day. But he’s still a good dad, he has tried his best ever since.”   
“You know…” Hiki suddenly said. “Even though we were so young, I still remember how we met for the first time. Your dad brought you to our playroom where we stayed with our nanny and he asked us to take good care of you. You were so shy and you cried out for your mom. Then, Hacchan brought you his favorite teddy bear. It was the one with the sailor uniform. He handed it over to you and told you not to cry anymore, that he would protect you and that you could take his bear home so it could protect you there. Hacchan was such a cutie.”   
“Hey, Niichan, stop it…” Hajime blushed.    
“I still have that bear. And I still remember how brightly he smiled at me…” Kai looked at Hajime lovingly. “I stopped crying and whenever I was at your house, it felt like home because I had the two of you. Something I’m grateful to Ueda-chichi for. He allowed my father to take me to work with him, even though he’s only the facility manager. And he still allows him to continue to work despite his declining health. I mean, he’s already 68 and his love for sake is taking a big toll on his health.”   
“Will he be alright?” Hiki asked, worried.    
“He won’t live to be very old, that’s for sure, but I think he’s not really aiming for it anyway. I tried everything to convince him to become sober because he’s killing himself, but he says that he doesn’t mind since it means he will be with my mom again…”   
“Kai, that’s terrible, I’m so sorry… Hearing something like that must have been like a kick in the guts to you…”   
“He’s an adult. He can do whatever he wants,” Kai played it cool. “Anyhow, the owner of the konbini said that they might finally promote me to the manager position next month!"  
"Oh, that's great! It’s about time, you’re working your butt off after all."  
"Yeah. I mean, right now I make enough money to help my dad with the expenses and all, and the double shifts helped me pay for my driving lessons, but a raise would be awesome. I could put some money aside for the future. For now, I still want to work double shifts because of that, but on fewer days than before."   
“I’m so happy that Howl-nii will give you his car. We’ll have more time to make out,” Hajime grinned.    
“I would actually not mind spending more time with you,” Kaito mumbled blushing. “I really miss you sometimes.”   
"I miss you too, Kai-chan." Hajime smiled.    
“Shut up,” Kai replied, his heart racing as it usually did when Hajime called him that.    
Hajime leaned over and kissed his boyfriend softly. “I love you,” he whispered.    
“Same…” Kai whispered back.    
“Wow, that was cute,” Hiki grinned. “I’m so, so happy that you’re here. I really miss talking to you guys like this.”   
“Yeah, we feel the same way. We rarely see each other anymore and even our Facetime calls have become rare.”   
“I know, I’m sorry about that. I had so much to do for Uni, plus there was Howl’s accident, I lost my job…”  
"Wait, what?" Kaito asked, startled. "You lost your job? Jeez, we're really not up to date."   
"Let me catch you up real quick. The day Howl had that accident I got a call from his assistant and instantly rushed over to the hospital. I left during my shift and I didn’t say anything. I just whooshed out. When I called the following Monday to talk to the manager, he told me that the owner found out and… I got fired..."  
"Damn, that sucks, Hiki."  
"Yeah, it really does. But from their point of view, it is understandable. I think the coworker who was in that shift with me filed a complaint, and I totally get it. I shouldn’t have done that, but… I was so worried… But I'm already looking for a new job. It will be hard to find one that will align with my class schedule, though..."   
“You never really told us about that accident,” Kaito noticed. “Howl just mentioned it briefly in our last video call…”   
“Right… Another driver crashed into their car and Howl hit his head and was unconscious for a few hours.”    
Kaito and Hajime both gasped.   
“He’s fine, but it was scary. They didn’t let me see him and I didn’t really know what happened or how he was. I was waiting there until they released him around noon the next day...”   
“What? Seriously? You were waiting for that long all by yourself?” Hajime shouted appalled.   
“Why didn’t you call us, Hiki? We could’ve come over and been there for you.”   
“I didn’t want to bother you. You have so much going on, and…”   
“Bullshit,” Hajime roughly interrupted him. “You should have called us. You’re my brother. Even though you moved out and even if Howl-nii succeeds, that obviously will never change!”   
“What did you mean by ‘if Howl succeeds’,” Hiki asked.    
“N-Nothing. I’m angry with you, Niichan. I don’t even know what I’m saying,” Hajime muttered as he stuffed his mouth with rice.   
“Hiki, we want to be there for you in situations like that, you know,” Kaito chimed in. “You pushed us away when you were at your worst after Satoshi passed, so please don’t keep shutting us out when you actually need us. Next time, call us. Not only because we love you, but because Howl is family too, so we want to know if anything happens to him, okay?”   
Hiki suddenly realized that without him even noticing, Hajime and Kai had “adopted” Howl into their little family as well, so the feeling Howl had towards them was mutual. He felt an almost overwhelming wave of happiness crashing down on him. He smiled broadly and nodded. “Promise! I mean, let’s hope something like that never happens again, but if it does, I will let you know immediately.”   
“You know, Hiki…” Kai continued. “It's not only that we like him as a person. We’re also very grateful to Howl. Because you have changed so much since you met him. You’re obviously doing so much better. I don’t remember ever having heard you laugh wholeheartedly since I met you. I mean, you laughed when we were kids of course, but never like the way you do when you’re with him. You were always so shy and timid. And you rarely smiled after Satoshi passed. I realized that when we had the sakura picnic with Howl and you laughed about a joke he made. I was actually startled. And even your way of smiling has changed, in my opinion… It’s become warmer. Well, your brother thinks the same, actually.”   
Hajime nodded munching.    
“We can tell that you’re  _ truly  _ happy now. Especially today… It’s the first time I see  you this light-hearted on your birthday. And in general… Jeez, I’m sorry. I probably sound stupid. It's just that… You deserve this so much.”   
“Kai…” Hiki teared up a little and leaped over to hug his childhood friend. “Thank you… I am very happy indeed.” Hiki let go of him. "And to both of you, I'm so grateful that I had… No,  _ have  _ you by my side. You never gave up on me. You always encouraged me to keep on going and cheered me up even through the darkest times. I mean, let's be real, you were the only two people who really cared about me back then. I've wanted to say this for so long… Thank you for always being there for me." Hiki smiled lovingly with teary eyes.   
"Niichaaaan," Hajime whined, got up, and went to hug his brother. Kaito joined in and the three of them started giggling.   
"Jeez, getting this emotional at the breakfast table, what a great way to start the day," Hiki said while drying his tears, as the other two sat back down.   
They continued talking about this and that after their little heart to heart moment. The mood was great. Everyone felt good after being able to talk about their feelings with each other, and they laughed a lot, which was a big stress relief for Hiki after those worrisome past few weeks. It felt like they were back in Hajime's room in Machida. After they finished eating, they cleared the table. The moment they were done, Hiki got a text from Howl. "Perfect timing,” he giggled. “Guys, Howl is almost here, we should get ready."   
"Is he coming upstairs or are we meeting him in the garage?" Kaito asked.   
"He's coming up, he said he wants to change his clothes real quick."  
Hiki was super excited because he still had no idea what Howl had planned. A few minutes later, the boys were ready to leave, and Howl entered the apartment. The moment he walked in, Hiki instantly knew his appointment must have been bad, because he was frowning and seemed very tense. **   
** "Ah, you're ready, good. I'll go and change real quick, give me five minutes,” Howl said as he crossed the living room on his way to their bedroom.   
"Woah, is it me or is he in a really bad mood?" Hajime remarked.   
"Excuse me for a moment," Hiki said concerned and followed his lover. He found Howl sitting on the bed, his glasses in one hand, and rubbing the bridge of his nose with the other, his eyes closed. Hiki's heart throbbed; he hated seeing Howl like that. He wanted to console him, so Hiki walked over and stopped right in front of his frowning boyfriend, looking down at him.   
"Oh, Hikkun. I'm sorry, I just needed a breather. I'll be right there so we can leave..."   
Without saying anything, Hiki took Howl's face with both hands and looked deep into his eyes. Then he softly kissed the  little wrinkles between Howl’s eyebrows that showed whenever he was worried. From there, he aimed for his lips and placed another soft but heartful kiss on them. Hiki slightly opened his mouth and Howl joined in on a tender deep kiss that lasted for several blissful moments. After he ended, Hiki placed soft pecks all over Howl’s face and hugged him tightly, pressing his lover’s head against his chest. Howl wrapped his arms around Hiki's and they stayed like that for a bit.    
Howl felt as if all the worries, the things that had been going on behind his lover's back, things that had put a big toll on him, had been blown away by Hiki's wholesome act. Just for that brief moment, he could forget about it all. Howl had tried so hard to hide his distress after Hiki mentioned that he was worried, but he had obviously failed. Although he was kind of glad about it because the comfort of his lover’s embrace was exactly what he needed.   
They parted and Howl looked up at Hiki who smiled at him so broadly, it made his heart skip a beat. Then he placed one last kiss on Howl’s lips, turned around, and left the room without saying anything. "I love you, too…" Howl mumbled smiling, got up and went to the dressing room.    
When he joined the others in the living room, Howl placed his arm around Hiki’s shoulders and kissed him on the head. Hiki smiled because apparently he had been successful in cheering him up.    
“You guys look disgustingly happy, what happened in your bedroom, huh,” Hajime asked skeptically.    
“Not what you think, pervert,” Hiki answered.    
“Yeah, I’m not into quickies, I like to take my sweet time,” Howl grinned.    
“Gross! TMI, Howl-nii!”   
“You should listen to him though, Hacchan. He could give you some great advice,” Hiki said with a serious expression.   
Howl chuckled upon his lover's indirect compliment and his frankness. "We should talk about this another time, though. Let's leave, we're already running late," Howl said. The others agreed and they went down to the parking garage in the basement. After Hajime and Kaito marveled at Howl’s new car, they got in and left.    
“I’ll show you your new car tomorrow, Kaito. It’s like new, they did a great job fixing it,” Howl said as they drove down the street.   
“Oh right, thanks again, Howl. I’m very grateful for your generosity,” the young man replied.    
“Hey, no need to act so formal. It’s no biggie, really.”   
“To me it is…”   
“I know, but you don’t have to thank me all the time. Once was enough, just enjoy your car once you get your license. Oh, and about the money, the 15.000 yen…”   
“I’ll pay you when I pick it up, is that okay?”   
“No, I don’t want it…”   
“Howl, we had a deal. It’s not even that much, so…”   
“Let me finish. I want you to take that money and donate it to a cause of your choice.”   
“Huh? B-But…”   
“It's the money you owe me, so I can dispose of it. Right?”   
“I guess. Hmm… I think I’ll take it to the animal shelter then…”   
“Wah, Kai, that’s a great idea! They could really use the help,” Hiki exclaimed excitedly.    
“An animal shelter in Machida,” Howl asked.    
“Yeah, Hiki should probably explain, though…”   
Hiki nodded and took over. “So, remember when we met for the first time about a year ago? Our first date at the fair? I sneaked out to meet up with you through a hole in the fence, right? So, when I was nine, our mom had a bad day and I wanted to hide from her in the garden. It often worked because it’s such a huge property. That day, I discovered that hole. Normally the guards check the fence regularly, but it was overgrown by bushes and it was really hard to see or to reach for a grown up. But I was a tiny and skinny kid, so it was no problem fitting through. Well, it actually still isn’t,” he giggled. “Anyhow, I walked around for a while in order to wait for her to calm down or get so drunk she'd go to sleep, and ended up at a local animal shelter. It’s a pretty small one and looks more like a farm. I was passing by when suddenly a huge dog ran towards me, barking.”   
“That’s scary,” Howl said, worried. “Did it attack you?”   
Hiki shook his head. “No, he didn’t. It wasn’t an aggressive barking. I mean, I was startled at first, but our father had taught us not to run away from dogs because it might trigger their hunting instincts. He owned a guard dog once. It was a doberman and he was well trained.”   
“You had a dog? I didn’t know…”   
“No, it was our father’s. Not a family dog. We were pretty small when… Well, he got shot…”   
“What? What happened?” Howl asked intrigued.    
“Someone attacked our father and the dog did what he had been trained to do. Protect his owner. Even though he didn’t let us develop any relationship with the dog and always kept him by his side, we were still sad. I think I was mostly sad because I could tell how heartbroken our father was. Not that he was crying, but you could clearly tell… Oh well, that was a long, long time ago. Anyhow, I froze and suddenly a woman came running, calling him. But he didn’t listen and kept running at me, pushed me down and… started licking my face.” Hiki giggled again. “He was so cute. His name was Bento and the owner told me that he always managed to sneak away and apologized profusely. She helped me up and told me that she had opened an animal shelter on her farm a couple of years ago and that Bento was a former stray dog she found half-dead and nurtured back to health. She apologized again and said that she needed to go and feed some kittens whose mother had died and I asked her if I could see them. She said yes and showed me around. I helped her feed the kittens, massage their tummies to help with their digestion and all that. Afterwards I helped her feed the other animals and it was so much fun! When I wanted to leave, she told me that I could come back any time, they could always use a helping hand. From then on I went there on a regular basis, and later on, I also started donating parts of my allowance and when I started working, some of my paychecks always went to them. They struggle a lot financially since it’s almost in the middle of nowhere. They try to advertise their shelter on the internet nowadays, but not many people donate. They really do an amazing job, many of those animals wouldn’t be alive anymore if it wasn’t for them.”   
“Hikkun, I had no idea, why did you never tell me about this?”   
“Hmm… I don’t know. But I still send them money. That’s one of the reasons why I want to find a new job as soon as possible. I still have savings but after that… I don’t want to skip even one donation.”   
Howl went silent, his view fixated on the road.    
“Oh, right, Niichan! Here!” Hajime rummaged around in his jeans pocket and handed his brother a piece of paper. “Father gave me this when he dropped us off. Your birthday check.”   
“Oh, thanks!” Hiki took it and unfolded it. “Whoa! Th-That’s… More than usual…”   
“I think it’s because you moved out and won’t accept his help paying for your school,” Kaito assumed.   
“That’s so awesome,” Hiki grinned.    
“Are you going to donate part of it?” Howl asked.    
“Nope. I’ll donate the whole thing. I’ve always done that ever since that day. I had and have everything I need, they have better uses for it,” he smiled.    
“I see,” Howl said, his eyes still on the road. He felt this certain warmth in his chest again. It was that deep feeling of the love he felt for this compassionate and devoted man. He took Hiki’s hand and held it, like they always did on car rides. But his grip was firmer. Howl hoped that the day wouldn’t be too exhausting for his lover, because he was planning on jumping him as soon as they closed the bedroom door behind them to go to bed. “How about we drop it off there personally?”   
“Huh?” Hiki asked, startled.    
“Well, we’re going to drive your brothers back home on Sunday anyway, so… Why not stop there?”   
“Wah, Howl, I love you, you’re the best! You’re going to love Ame-san and I can introduce you to Bento, too!”   
“I’m looking forward to meeting them.”  
Hiki just smiled at him lovingly. Suddenly, he remembered something. "Oh Howl, I almost forgot. Here," Hiki said. He leaned over and rummaged around in his backpack with his free hand. "I made you some sandwiches while we were waiting for you. You didn't have breakfast, right? Or did you eat while you were out?" He took out a bento box and opened it.   
"Actually, I didn't. Thank you, Hikkun. I'm quite hungry, this is perfect." Howl smiled and took one of the sandwiches.   
"They’re tuna, egg salad and one has cream cheese with strawberries," Hiki smiled back.   
"My favorites!"   
"I know," Hiki sparkled.   
The couple on the backseat looked at each other and Hajime took his boyfriend’s hand. Being around the always lovey-dovey Hiki and Howl had made the tsundere-like Kai a little more open to showing affection, so he scooted over to Hajime and leaned against him. Hajime smiled lovingly and looked outside the window, his heart beating fast.   
"Oh, we're almost there! Hikkun, I need you to close your eyes now," Howl suddenly said about an hour later.   
"Eh?" Hiki was startled by his lover’s order.   
"Do it. And promise me you won't open them before I tell you to, okay?"   
"O-Okay." Hiki did as he was told.    
Howl took a turn left and parked the car. He got out, opened Hiki's door, and helped him to get out without bumping his head. Then, Howl put his arm around his shoulder and they started walking. After a few minutes, they finally stopped and Hiki’s anticipation had reached its peak, but he diligently still had his eyes closed.  
"Now, Hikkun."  
What Hiki saw after opening his eyes was nowhere near his expectations. "W-What? Are you serious?! We're visiting Disney World," he screeched.   
"Yup. Happy Birthday. Do you like it?"   
"If… If I-... Of course, I do!!!" Hiki hugged his boyfriend tightly. Howl chuckled. It made him happy to see Hiki like that since he had never been to an amusement park. Howl learned that from his brother, whom he had contacted before buying the tickets. He had asked Hajime before, just to make sure that Hiki would like it.    
“Hey, Hacchan, Kai, is something wrong?” Hiki asked as he noticed their worried expressions.   
"Umm… we had no idea you'd take us here, so we don’t have much money on us..." Kaito explained timidly.    
“Yeah, when you asked me about it, I didn’t know you’d take us with you,” Hajime said.  
"Of course I would… And it's on me, obviously. Everything today is on me. You can splurge, get anything you want. I want this to be the best possible experience for all of you, so I'm going to be really angry if I feel like you're holding back, okay? It’s Hikkun’s birthday, I want everyone to have a great time," Howl glared at them.   
"Wow, thank you, Howl-nii!!"   
"Thank you, Howl, that's very generous of you."  
Hiki was overwhelmingly happy and embraced Howl again. "Thank you, Howl. So, so much," he huffed into his chest with a muffled voice.   
"Alright, let's go inside, we've already lost too much time," Howl said, flustered, and they walked over to the registers at the big entrance. 

The four men had a great day. Hajime and Kai went on almost every ride they passed by, but Howl only agreed to go on the slower ones. Hiki passed on most of the rides too, he preferred to stay with Howl, and he was too scared of the roller coasters. But that way, both pairs had their alone time. Hiki and Howl were holding hands or walked arm in arm the entire time; the young man felt like he was on cloud nine.   
“I must be the happiest person on Earth, Howl. I love you,” he said while they were riding a boat through a love tunnel, and kissed his lover.   
“Same… I love you too, Hikkun,” Howl replied smiling and returned his lover’s gesture.  
“Best birthday ever…”  
They all were completely exhausted but happy when they left the amusement park after the last parade and fireworks. Everyone was silent on their way back home, reminiscing about their good time.  
"Are you tired, Hikkun?" Howl asked after they entered the condo.   
"Yeah, but aren't we all," he smiled. After they dropped their many bags full of treats and souvenirs on the dining table, Kaito and Hajime slumped down on the big white sofa, Howl sat down in his armchair and sighed.   
“Those fireworks were awesome,” Hajime exclaimed.  
“And the parade was grand too, I’m still in awe,” Hiki added. He was standing next to Howl’s chair. "How about I make some tea and prepare some late-night snacks," he asked, but just as he turned around to walk over to the kitchen, Howl grabbed his wrist to stop him.   
"Hikkun, no. Get your cute little butt over here," he ordered his lover and gently pulled him closer.   
"Yes Niichan, it's your birthday," Hajime agreed and got up. "We can make tea, just take a seat and rest, okay? Kai, can you lend me a hand?"  
"Oh, yeah, sure!" Kaito got up and followed Hajime to the kitchen.   
"Come here," Howl said and gestured to Hiki to get on his lap. He didn't have to say that twice; Hiki rushed over, sat down on his lover's thighs and snuggled against his wide chest. Howl let his hand slip underneath his lover’s shirt and gently caressed his back.   
"Mhhh…" Hiki moaned contentedly as they had their little wholesome moment.   
“This was the best birthday ever. Maybe even the best day ever. Although, that actually goes for every day I spend with you.”  
Howl chuckled. “You always call _me _cheesy, but you’re just the same, Hikkun. I’m very happy to hear that you enjoyed your special day.”  
“Umm… Howl... Do you remember what we talked about this morning?”  
“I’m not quite sure what you mean…” Howl looked at Hiki’s face and saw that it had taken a bright red color. Of course, he knew exactly what Hiki meant.  
“You know… That, if I wasn’t too tired by the time we got back, we would... do… it…” Hiki stuttered while fondling the fabric of Howl’s shirt nervously.  
“Oh, that… Yeah, that still goes. You’re not too tired yet?”  
Hiki silently shook his head.   
“Let's see how you feel by the time we go to bed, the day isn’t over yet. If you're still not too sleepy by then… Do you want me to tell you what I’m gonna do to you?”  
“Yes,” Hiki whispered, his heart beating fast.   
“I will-”  
Suddenly they heard Hajime yelling from the kitchen. "Niichan, are you still awake?!”  
Hiki jolted. He had completely forgotten that they weren’t alone. “Y-Yes,” he answered.   
“Good, close your eyes!”   
"Huh?” Hiki sat up.  
“Just close your eyes, Hiki,” Kaito yelled.  
“Okay, okay…” He did as he was told. He then heard footsteps and something that sounded like flurry movements.   
"Okay, now open them," his brother ordered him.   
Hiki did so and found something in front of him he hadn't expected at all.   
"Our cake! You made one for me!"   
"Of course, did you think you wouldn't get one? It's our tradition, after all," Hajime sparkled.   
"I'm so happy! Thank you, guys!"  
"Now blow out the candles and don’t forget to make a wish," Hajime said excitedly.  
Hiki did so and smiled.   
"What did you wish for, Niichan?”   
"Idiot, he can't say it or it won't come true," Kaito replied.   
"I wished for something that won't come true anyway because it's impossible. But I couldn't help that, it was the first thought that crossed my mind." Hiki shrugged. He cut his cake and they each had a large piece.  
  
"That was really good,” Howl said when they were done eating. “Alright, it's time for the presents. Are you still awake enough, Hikkun? Or should we wait until tomorrow?"   
"I'm wide awake, it's only 11 after all, but you're the one who has to work tomorrow and you woke up before me this morning... Are _you_ okay with doing it now?"  
"I’m fine. I'll go and get your gift." Howl smiled, and Hiki, who was still sitting on his lap, got up. Howl walked over to the study and Kaito and Hajime went to the guest room to fetch their presents.   
"Tadaa," Hajime sparkled as they placed a big box on the coffee table. "Unpack ours first, Niichan!"   
Hiki nodded and started unwrapping the box. "Uwah! An electric hotpot! Thank you so much, guys! I love nabe!" Hiki smiled broadly as he examined the cooking device. "Let's have sukiyaki tomorrow," he suggested excitedly.   
"Yay, sukiyaki," Hajime rejoiced.  
"Alright, now that that’s settled, here's my gift." Howl bluntly placed a black case on the table. It wasn't wrapped, but the handle had a blue, clumsily tied ribbon on it.   
"What is this?"   
"Well, open it…"  
Hiki did, and he gasped in amazement. "Are those… H-Hattori Hanzo knives…? Real Hattori Hanzo knives…" he whispered in awe with sparkling eyes.   
"You kept complaining about the knives we have and mentioned these, so I got them for you. The store I went to ordered them from the manufacturer, they’re custom made. I hope you have everything you need in this set. Oh, wait..." Howl rummaged around in his jeans pocket and pulled out a small folded paper. “I wrote the details down, actually. I researched a lot but I can’t memorize all those things. So, they’re Super High Carbon Stainless Steel with octagonal premium ebony handles. They’re handmade, of course. Yeah, that’s it. Oh, the seller told me to wash them with a mild cleanser and not to put them in the dishwasher.” Howl folded the paper, shoved it back into his pocket and pushed up his glasses with one finger, looking pleased with himself.   
"They’re beautiful. I’ll handle them with love and care," Hiki huffed as he took out one of the knives. He pulled out the black Shaya, the cover that protects the blades, and examined it from every angle. "Howl… I just wanted to buy a knife sharpener, you know… I was joking when I said that I should get Hattori Hanzo knives…"   
"I know, but you wanted them for real, no?"   
"Well… Yeah, but…"   
"Enough said. Ah, wait, there's more…" Howl pointed at the metal blade of the knife Hiki was holding. “See?”  
"It has my name on it…"  
"Yes, all of them do. The seller laughed when I told him your name's kanji, since it basically means shiny and said that it fits the blade. He had a weird sense of humor…"   
"I don't know what to say… Thank you so much!" Hiki hugged him. "You too, Kaito and Hajime. Thank you all so much, for everything! This is the best birthday I've ever had. First, the surprise of Howl being here when I woke up, then you guys surprised me by coming here, plus going to Disneyland, the cake, your gifts… But you are the greatest gifts. I love you guys so much.” Hiki teared up and sniffled, embarrassed. “Sorry for getting so emotional, but you mean so much to me, I’m so grateful for our little family… Unfortunately, Sophie is missing.”  
"You’re such a softie, Niichan," Hajime smiled and Hiki giggled.   
“Can’t help it…”   
“Sophie will call you tomorrow, Hikkun. I told her that we’d be out all day. She has a gift for you too. I thought you might want to open it tomorrow while you’re video chatting.”  
“Yes! Wow, that’s so sweet of her! I hate that she’s so far away, I miss her…”  
“I know. Me, too…” Howl sighed. “Alright, as the only adult here, I have to put my foot down now. It’s late, we should go to sleep. I’ll have to work tomorrow, and you three will probably go sightseeing and such…”   
“You’re right, it was a long day,” Hiki agreed.  
“I’m super tired too,” Kai yawned. “We can discuss tomorrow what we’re going to do.”  
“Sleep well, Niichan and Howl-nii,” Hajime smiled and took Kai’s hand.  
"Good night," Kai said as his lover dragged him along, over to the guest bedroom.  
“Good night, and don’t do anything perverted in our home,” Howl yelled after them.   
“That goes for you too, then,” Kai snarked back.   
“Alright, never mind, go off.”  
“Stop it, jeez,” Hiki blushed. “Let’s go to bed already.”  
Hajime and Kai shut the door behind them. Howl looked at Hiki.   
“Sleepy?”  
“Not at all. I want my birthday sex."   
Howl grinned. "Alright, but I need to use the bathroom real quick."   
“Me too. Bedroom in ten minutes?”  
Howl nodded and went to the guest bathroom while Hiki headed to their bedroom to use their private bathroom. He hurried like crazy, because he wanted to be done before Howl came back. He got completely naked, jumped in the shower and washed all the sweat and dust from the amusement park off quickly. He thought about loosening himself up, but then decided against it, since it would take too much time and Howl would probably be mad, because he loved doing that. Hiki rubbed himself dry with a towel and rushed to the bedroom, where he positioned himself, belly down, on their bed. _Hmm, something is missing_, he thought. “Oh right! The ears!” He remembered that he had bought a pair of mouse ears and as he had done so, he had fantasized about how Howl would react if he would wear them in bed, so he decided he would be daring tonight and actually put them on. Unfortunately, they were in one of the bags on the dining table, so he got up and sneaked out, still buttnaked. Hiki thought he would be quick and Kai and Hajime were either ‘busy’ themselves, or already asleep, so it would be safe to quickly run over and grab those ears. He rummaged around in the bags and it took him a moment until he found them. “Bingo,” he said as he placed the gimmick on his head and giggled. He then turned around to run back to the bedroom and found a dumbfounded Kai silently staring at him. His heart sank and his face couldn’t have turned any redder.   
“Water…” Kai said.   
“Th-This…” Hiki stuttered.   
“Hiki, seriously… I couldn’t care less about your kinks…”  
“It’s not a kink, it’s just…”  
“You do you.” Kai shrugged and proceeded his walk to the kitchen.   
Hiki decided not to overthink the situation at that moment and rushed back to the bedroom. He wanted to focus on his boyfriend now. But still… He felt extremely embarrassed.   
Hiki went back to his chosen position.   
When Howl entered the bedroom and saw Hiki lying on his belly naked, smiling at him seductively with those big adorable mouse ears on his head, it was almost too much for him. He swallowed heavily and grinned, took off his T-shirt, and walked over to him. He crawled over to Hiki and kissed him. "You're so cute and sexy, Hikkun."  
He continued kissing him and they quickly went from soft pecks to involving their warm, slippery tongues. Hiki was already aroused, but suddenly Howl’s hand was slowly sliding down his spine. He shuddered and moaned.   
"Mm… My voice… I didn't think of that… What if they can hear us?"   
"They won't. But just in case, try keeping it down a little." Howl knew they couldn’t hear them since he was familiar with the construction of his condo and knew how thick the walls were, but Hiki was too cute when he tried to hold back his voice, so he wanted to have a little fun with it.  
"O-Okay…"   
Howl's hand had slowly reached Hiki’s rear end and after he had gently caressed his soft skin, his fingers slid between Hiki's butt cheeks and touched his entrance.   
“ Ngh...”  
"Oh, it's twitching so eagerly already… so sexy…" He took the lube from his nightstand.   
"Wah! B-Baka! Warm it up in your hand first," Hiki scolded him.   
"Hikkun, I'm sorry but… I don't have the patience today. I want you so badly…" He covered Hiki's back in kisses while pushing his middle finger in.   
"Hah... Ngh…"   
"Your skin is so soft... Your body is perfect. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life." He whispered in between the kisses and added another finger.   
Hiki was flustered by his words, but they also triggered him. _Don’t think about it_, he thought. _Not now_. He got goosebumps all over his body from Howl’s warm hands caressing his body everywhere, and he became more and more eager for his lover to enter him with something bigger than his fingers. It started to feel good as he added a third finger, but it still wasn't enough.   
"Howl, stop doing that… Nh… Just… put it in already!"   
"Alright, you’re ready anyway, I was just having a bit more fun,” he chuckled teasingly. “Do you want to do it lying on your belly today? Or…"   
"No, I'm gonna change position, I want you to hold me… Is that okay?"   
"Of course. It's better anyway because it's noisier doing it doggy style. The slapping sounds I mean…"  
"Ugh, Howl, don't say it out loud!"   
Howl chuckled as Hiki turned around.   
"Hold up your legs," Howl ordered and Hiki listened diligently. He took the lube again and spread some on his erect dick before he slowly started pushing in. Hiki had his arms tightly wrapped around his thighs, shuddering. It hurt, apparently, he wasn't prepared well enough. He clenched his eyes shut and tried to breathe evenly.   
"Mh… Kh… Ow…"   
"Does it hurt? I was about to say that you're still super tight. I know you don’t want me to pull out, so I'll go very slowly, hang in there." Howl went in as slowly and as careful as possible and took many breaks so Hiki’s body could adjust. When he had completely entered, the pain had mostly gone away. Hiki could feel the heat of Howl’s dick and how it was pulsating inside him.   
"Hikkun, relax. I'm all in now. You can let go of your legs."  
Hiki opened his eyes and glanced at his lover who was hovering over him. His chest and face were flushed and his eyes had this certain glow… Also, his upper body and arms seemed more toned… or was he imagining that? He let go of his legs and spread them to make room for Howl. He couldn't help but reach out and let his hand slide over his lover's muscular chest down to his lower parts. Touching the place where they were connected always aroused him to no end.   
"Move," he huffed and made Howl’s heart skip a beat. He slowly started pulling out as Hiki was trembling underneath him.   
"Mhm… Haa… Feels… so good..."  
They both locked their eyes on each other, watching their partner's every reaction. Howl suddenly pushed his whole length back in and Hiki jolted. He repeated those movements again and again. Slowly pulling out and suddenly pushing in. Hiki felt like he was losing his mind.   
"Howl… I'm begging you… Fuck me properly!"   
Howl grinned. "As you wish, my love." He stopped teasing Hiki and his movements became more rhythmical.   
"Ah, yes, like this… but h-harder!"   
Howl immediately put more power into his thrusts and Hiki was bobbing up and down underneath him. He tried his hardest not to let his voice out too much, but the pleasure he felt made it nearly impossible. He was clawing down on the sheet, his whole body was tensed up to the max. Howl leaned down, lowered his pace for a moment, and embraced him.  
"Kh… Hold on to me, Hikkun."  
Hiki nodded and clung onto his lover. They started kissing as Howl picked up the pace and went from slower, shallow thrusts back to deep vigorous thrusting.   
"Hn… Ah… Howl… Ah, wah…" Hiki huffed and moaned. "I'm cum…ming, I can't hold ba- Hn… NGHH!!" Hiki spasmed and tightened his grip around his lover who also climaxed at that moment. After a couple of last, strong thrusts, he stopped moving and they stayed like that for a minute and kissed before he pulled out and dropped down next to Hiki.   
“That was great…” Howl huffed.   
“Mm-hm,” Hiki replied. He was out of breath and felt sluggish, but he sat up and scooted over to the bedside anyway.   
"Where are you going?"   
"I'm gonna clean myself up…"  
"I can do that for you. Or do you want me to join you in the bath and help you?" he grinned.   
"You know very well how we'd end up. Once is enough for today, don't you think? You have to go to work tomorrow after all."  
"Since when are you the rational one?" Howl sighed. "You're such a killjoy. Oh, your ears fell off, I didn’t even notice.”  
Hiki went silent and just sat there.  
“Hikkun, are you okay?”  
“Yeah…”  
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you or anything? I thought I was careful enough…”  
“No, you didn’t. It’s stupid, don’t mind me.”  
“If it makes you sad, it can’t be stupid. And you look sad. Tell me.”  
“Okay… Earlier, when I wanted to use the ears, I remembered that I had left them in the bag on the table. So I ran there to get them and suddenly Kai showed up.”  
“And?”  
“I was naked…”  
“Okay, so you ran through your own home naked and Kai saw you. I don’t think that’s something to be sad over. I mean, you grew up together, did you never take baths together when you were younger?”  
“Actually, no. We didn’t. I avoided that because of the wounds my mother gave me. And today… he saw me for the first time. Howl, do you remember what I told you back then when we started dating? About my insecurities regarding my body?”  
“Yeah, you talked about how ugly you feel because of your scars, but do you remember what I told you? Do you remember what I just told you right before we…”  
“I do. I do remember. But… He has never seen the outcome of my mother’s abuse. Neither has Hajime. They only know what I told them and that’s by far not as much as I told you…”  
“Why weren’t you as open to them as you were to me?”  
“Because I don’t want them to feel bad. Hajime already beats himself up over the stuff they know. They think they should’ve helped me more, protected me. That's what they said when we were younger and I told them some things, and because of a conversation we had this morning, I know they still feel that way. I don’t want to make them feel bad, and seeing my body might cause that. And it’s embarrassing, too. I hate it and I'm ashamed of it.”  
“Hikkun, I understand your insecurities, but you know…” Howl got up and sat down next to his lover, one arm wrapped around his shoulder. “When I tell you that you’re beautiful, I honestly mean it. I think you see yourself in a different light. You see yourself as tainted and flawed. We see a fighter. A warrior who carries marks from the battles he fought.”  
“You say that because you love me and want to cheer me up.”  
“Well they love you too, and yes, that’s exactly the reason. We love you because of who you are, including your scars. I love you so much it almost drives me insane. Please don’t talk yourself down like this, you’re being mean to the person I love the most and I can’t tolerate that.”  
Hiki chuckled. “Silly. Thank you, Howl… For everything." Hiki mumbled and looked at his lover. “I love you so, so much…"   
"I love you too, Hikkun." He smiled and kissed him. “Are you feeling better now?”  
“Yeah, I actually am…”  
“Alright, let’s go for another round then!”  
“Wah, no way, baka, idiot, stop pushing me down, aahh!” Hiki struggled, but Howl was already hovering over him.   
“Happy birthday, Hikkun.” He grinned and proceeded.   
“N-No… Wah…”   
Eventually, Hiki gave up his resistance and caved. They did it for two more hours until both of them fell asleep, completely drained.


	16. The Yakuza Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gajin, as Howl is getting called, is used for outlanders/foreigners/outsiders.

Howl woke up three hours after their last round.  _ We ended up completely overdoing it once again _ , he thought as he turned around and looked at his still feverish red-faced, exhausted lover. He sighed, got up from the bed, and walked around to Hiki’s side to tuck him in properly. He caressed his cute lover’s cheek and apologized internally before he walked to the bathroom to get ready for the day. It was awfully early in the morning, but it was a very important day. Howl had worked hard in the past six weeks and today he would finally know if it paid off or not.    
  
Six weeks prior, he had gone to Machida, Hiki’s hometown, for an appointment with Hiki’s father. But after he arrived at the Ueda mansion, Howl stopped by Hajime's room first thing. He had called Hiki’s little brother beforehand to ask him for a little one on one talk. Actually, one on two, because Howl asked him to tell Kaito to be there as well. 

After he entered Hajime’s spacious room and sat down on the sofa across from his bed, his tension seemed to fill up the whole room.  
“Howl, are you okay? You look sick,” Kaito noticed.   
Howl got up and knelt down before the two young men, who were sitting on the big bed. He bent over so that his forehead touched the floor and said: “Listen, Kaito and Hajime… I am hereby asking you for your brother’s hand in marriage. I want to add him to my family registry and make him lawfully mine.” He went silent after that and didn’t move, waiting for a response.   
“No...” Hajime replied. “No way.”  
Howl’s heart throbbed. He knew that if they didn't give their approval, Hiki would be devastated.  
“No way, you’re in dogeza while asking us! I need to take a picture, stay like that,” Hajime said, astonished.   
“Dammit, Hajime, you little…” Howl grumbled as he got up and sat back down on the sofa.   
“What...? That was awesome!”  
“Hajime, don’t be disrespectful after he did something like that,” Kaito scolded his boyfriend.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be. I’m just surprised! I mean, we knew you would tell us at one point that you’ll get married, but for you to come here and ask us for our approval and even do it in dogeza… I didn’t expect that at all. I feel honored, Howl-nii.”  
“Of course I would ask you two first. It’s important to Hikkun for you guys to have his back, and I think it’s a matter of respect to ask their family for someone’s hand.”  
“I didn’t think you’d be so old school, to be honest,” Kai admitted. “You seem more like the modern type…”  
“This is just my personal stance, old school or not. I want his family’s permission before I ask him,” Howl explained as he sat back down on the sofa. “I want to do this right.”  
“Howl-nii, you know how dear Niichan is to me. And I admit that I was very sceptical of you in the beginning, because your relationship developed fast and Niichan was very inexperienced and fragile. But after seeing the two of you together for the first time, I could tell that you’re a good person and I wasn’t worried at all anymore. I knew you would treasure him as much as he deserves it. Howl-nii, you did something for my brother that we were never able to, no matter how hard we tried. You broke through his shell and he’s the happiest we’ve ever seen. So I think I’m speaking for Kai too, when I tell you that you have our permission. You’re meant for each other and to us, you’re part of the family anyway. Please always take good care of him, okay?”  
“I will, thank you for accepting me.” Howl got up. “I’ll leave now and head down to your father’s office. Wish me luck. Oh, by the way, I’m planning on a little surprise for Hikkun’s birthday…”   
Howl told them about his ideas, and after they had settled most of it and agreed on sorting the details out in Messenger, he left.  
“Good luck with our father. He won’t make it easy for you.” Hajime’s words when Howl left echoed in his head as he was walking downstairs towards Ueda’s office. He knew his way around the mansion by now since Howl’s company, Castle Tech, was also doing business with Hiki’s father, and he had to meet up with him occasionally when they were sorting out the contracts. _He won’t make it easy for you_, Howl repeated in his mind. Howl realized that this wouldn’t be as simple as with Hiki’s brother and his best friend. Ueda’s aura was intimidating, just what you would expect from the head of a big Yakuza clan, but with Hiki being such a gentle and sweet demeanored person and Hajime being a total goofball, he kept forgetting what kind of family they actually came from. Being at their house, it was quite obvious with all those shady looking guys around and the guards, but living with Hiki made him forget about it.   
Howl arrived at Ueda’s office and knocked at the door.   
“Come in,” Hiki’s father said. Howl did so, entered the room and bowed. “Hello, Ueda-san. Thank you for making the time.”  
“Of course, Howl-san. How are you? Is everything okay with my son?”  
“I’m fine, thank you. And so is your son.”   
“That’s good to hear. Please, take a seat. So, what brings you here? I was quite surprised when I was told you wanted to meet with me. Since there are no issues in terms of our business, I assume there’s something else that you want to talk about with me. Is it about my son?”  
Howl sat down on one of the black leather chairs in front of the desk and answered. “Yes, it’s about him.” Howl took a deep breath. “Ueda-san, I’m thankful that you trust me enough to let your son stay with me, and I’m doing my best to give him everything he needs.”  
“Indeed, you haven’t disappointed me in the slightest... Yet.”  
Howl had practiced his speech a million times beforehand, but this was the most important thing he had ever done in his life, so he was extremely nervous. Especially now that he was sitting right across from Ueda. He got up and again, knelt down and placed himself in the respectful dogeza position on the floor.   
“Ueda-san, please let me transfer your son’s name to my koseki and allow me to make him lawfully mine. I’m asking you in the most respectful way for your permission to give me your son’s hand in marriage. I promise that I will take care of him and protect him for the rest of our lives,” Howl declared. After that, for a moment, there was nothing but silence and the only thing Howl heard was his pounding heart.   
Suddenly, Hiki’s father burst out in laughter. “Come on now, get up from the floor and sit back down. Don’t be ridiculous. Living together is one thing and troublesome enough already, but _this…_? And after only a year? Don’t make me laugh. Playing husband and wife is something kids do, you should act like an adult, how shameful.”  
“You can laugh at us, but that doesn’t change my stance. It doesn’t matter how long we've been together now, don’t underestimate the bond we share. This isn’t a joke to me, I’m determined to do this. With or without your approval, I want to spend the rest of my life with him,” Howl said as he got back up and stood firmly in front of the desk, his fists clenched in determination. “I love your son too much to let anyone, even his own father, interfere. Technically, he’s old enough to make this decision himself, so we don’t need your approval. And even though I know he would be sad, it wouldn’t stop me.” Howl stared at him. His nervousness had been replaced with the will to fight for their future. No matter what it took, he wouldn’t back down.   
“You seriously have the nerve to talk to me like that, disrespecting me in my own home? I think you don’t realize the position you’re in. Just because I allowed my son to move in with you, doesn’t mean I will just let anything slide, Harada! Don’t take my kindness for granted and don’t underestimate how easily I could end things between you and my son. You’re walking on very thin ice here,” Ueda growled in a threatening deep voice. “My son might be old enough to make his own decisions, but that doesn’t mean I will allow him to. This isn’t an ordinary suburban family, remember that! And you two being together like that is very risky for all of us!”  
“I apologize.” Howl bowed. “I’m very grateful that you gave us your permission to be together. I know it must be troublesome for you as a clan leader to have a son who’s in a relationship with another man. I’m aware that it’s still not accepted by many people, especially in this sort of environment. We don’t want to celebrate a big wedding or anything like that. We just want to have the same rights as everyone else. When I was at the hospital after a car accident, your son wasn’t allowed to visit me. It took a big toll on him mentally and I want to make sure that it won’t happen again.” Howl thought that if the emotional aspect didn’t faze Ueda, the logic of it might convince him. “In case anything happens to me, I want him to be able to act.”   
Ueda sighed. “I’ve heard about your accident and I was glad to hear that you were doing okay, but I think you don’t realize what kind of family you got yourself involved with.”  
Howl wondered how he knew about that since Hiki and him never really talked, but asking wasn’t an option at that moment; Ueda had just seemed to have calmed down a little.  
”Do you have any idea what will happen once my wife gets to know about it? You do remember how she reacted last time, right? All hell would break loose. Her brother is a sword-wielding maniac who has killed and crippled more people than you can imagine, and after she told him about you back then, it took me a long time to calm him down. The only reason he let it go was because Hikaru moved away. He’s not part of my clan, nor my wife's clan, but he is in fact a high ranking member of a third clan. We’re on good terms with them now, but if he attacked the two of you, that would mean retaliation from our side and it might end up in a war. We've already been in a feud with another very big clan for fifteen years now, which is why I never let my children leave the house unwatched. Even if they’re not aware of it, they are being protected twenty four seven.”  
“Are you still watching over Hikaru?” Howl asked.   
“I do. Not as intensely as before, but as soon as anything happens in our realms, I make sure that he’s protected.” What Ueda didn’t tell Howl was that he had also hired a private investigator to keep track of his son’s life, so he was always up to date with his Uni life and other things, which was also the reason he knew of Howl’s accident. Hiki didn’t really talk to him much, but he was his son, so he wanted to stay updated on his life.   
“Didn’t you say that he would be safe with me in Tokyo?”  
“I said that he would be safer there than he was here, but that has nothing to do with you. You’re just as vulnerable as him. If anyone decided to come after me, there’s a big chance they would target my family. Simply to earn some stars so they can climb up the ladder in their clans more quickly. That’s what happened the day my son Satoshi died and Hiroki got that big scar on his face. Some low-ranks of the Kawashima-kai wanted to impress their elders, so they came to our territory and attacked my sons, aiming to abduct Hikaru, since he was the easiest target. Their goal was to blackmail me into handing over one of our territories. My sons and their guards could’ve easily beaten them, but one of them pulled out his gun and aimed at Hikaru, but Satoshi jumped in front of him and caught that bullet. But you probably know about that already.”  
Howl nodded slowly. “That incident traumatized your son gravely.”  
“Things like that happen. Hikaru had been pampered until then, because he had always been sickly and weak. He had to learn the hard way that life is tough.”  
_Pampered_, Howl repeated in his head and swallowed hard, trying to hide his anger about the man’s harsh words. “He… He was just a boy…” was all he dared to say, afraid to agitate him again.   
“So was that low-rank. He was young and inexperienced, not much older than Satoshi. Around 16.”  
“What happened to him?”  
“Retaliation,” Ueda said as he leaned back in his big, black leather office chair.  
“Wh… What does that mean?”   
“That means that my son was avenged, that’s how we handle things. You don’t need to know the details.”  
Howl stayed silent. He hadn’t taken Ueda as someone that relentless, but it was probably one of the reasons why Hiki was so repulsed by violence of any kind. Howl didn’t want to know how much his lover’s beautiful grey eyes had seen, yet, they still managed to sparkle brightly. _Admirable_, he thought.   
“You know, I forced all my children to take self-defense classes ever since they were little, but Hikaru begged me to let him stop participating... And I caved. I just can’t say no to him, so he always had much more freedom than my other kids. I regret that now, because he isn’t able to defend himself in case of an attack, which showed the day Satoshi died.”  
Howl eventually started boiling internally at those words. “How was he supposed to defend himself from a gun?”  
“If he had been able to fight, Satoshi wouldn’t have had to fight for two, and they could have left the scene much faster. What happened was preventable.”  
“He was eleven years old and had just gotten out of the hospital after recovering from pneumonia…”   
“Don’t get me wrong, Howl-san, I don’t blame him. I only blame myself. I shouldn’t have allowed them to take Hikaru to an arcade to celebrate his recovery. I should have ordered them to come straight back home. His body is weak and fragile in general, and he has always been smaller than other kids his age, that’s why I’m constantly worried about him.”   
_Not worried enough to notice that your wife was heavily abusing him_, Howl thought, frustrated and angry.   
“Hikkun is stronger than you think. His body might be frail, but his mind isn’t. And even if he was able to physically fight someone double his size, do you really think he would?”  
Ueda scoffed. “No, he wouldn’t. He’s too kind-hearted, it’s one of his major weaknesses. He’s not suited for this life, that’s why I let him have his way, study what he wanted and move in with you. Although I thought that was just a phase. Someone showed him affection for the first time, of course he would feel on top of the world.”  
“It’s not a phase, never has been. I didn’t just show him affection. I showed interest in him, listened to him, gave him the feeling that he’s loved _and _worth being loved.”  
“Young love…” Ueda chuckled, which really agitated Howl. “But since you’re aware of his weaknesses, you should understand why you’re not suited to be his partner in the long run. It was all fun and games until now, but this is serious. You will be inevitably associated with our family, but you won’t be able to protect him when push comes to shove.”  
“I will do my best!”  
“That’s not enough, do you still not understand that?!”  
“Then what is it that you want me to do? Tell me and I’ll do it!”  
Ueda went silent for a few moments and then continued. “Alright, Howl-san, let’s make a deal. I will let you take my son over to your koseki if you prove yourself. You will take self-defense lessons with a personal instructor, you will also get familiarized with our family business, and learn about the things my son grew up with... Our etiquette. You will follow my every order diligently without excuses or complaints.”  
“Deal!” Howl had no idea what all that would mean for the near future, but he was ready to do anything so he could be together with Hiki the way they wanted to.  
Ueda took the phone from his desk and without dialing a number he said: “Call Matsuda over,” and put it back down. Moments later, the door opened and a tall, buff looking man in a black suit entered without saying anything.   
“Howl-san, this is my enforcer, Matsuda. Matsuda, this is Harada Howl. He’s going to be your apprentice in the next few weeks. Howl-san, when are you planning to tell him? I’m sure you’ve thought about it already...”  
“Um… I’ll ask him the weekend after his birthday. Probably that Sunday,” Howl answered, perplexed.   
“Alright. So Matsuda, until the end of April, he will follow you around. I want him to become familiar with… our customs. You will take him to meetings and other businesses. I will give you further instructions later. Just make sure he learns about our ways.”  
“As you wish, Oyassan,” he replied briefly and glared at Howl, who instantly felt very uncomfortable. Matsuda then just bowed and left.   
“You will be in good hands. He’s worked for me for a good fifteen years now, started at the lowest rank and worked himself up. Just wouldn’t recommend angering him,” he grinned and then handed Howl a business card. “Here. Contact this man, he’s our dojo instructor and will refer you to a colleague in Tokyo so you won’t have to travel here three times a week.”  
“Three times… a week?”   
“Yes, three times a week. That’s not much, trust me. My son Hiroki trains from six to eight in the morning, usually a one hour run included, goes to work and trains at the dojo for another three to four hours in the evening. And he’s already a master in several martial arts and therefore in great shape. So you better work hard, Howl-san. And we don’t have much time to make a real man out of you after all. Four hours, three times a week should make you passable. And whenever there’s an appointment you can attend to, Matsuda will call you.”  
“Okay, but my company…”  
“I’m aware that running the company is keeping you busy, but you will make time for this as well if my son is really that important to you. I don’t want to hear any excuses. Not after your big speech earlier. I expect you to succeed in this, Harada, or I’ll make sure your relationship with him won’t continue.”  
Howl’s body instantly became tense. “I will succeed. I will work hard,” Howl promised, glaring at him. He wouldn’t let that man get in between them.   
Hiki’s father grinned. “Don’t worry, your training and your appointments with Matsuda will mostly be in the evening or on the weekends, so your working schedule won’t be affected that much. If you slack off too much at work, the ones who suffer will be your employees, after all. But your relationship with my son might suffer as well…”  
“It won’t, don’t worry.”  
  
Howl remembered that day as if it was yesterday. “Has it really been six weeks already?” he said to himself as he sat down at his desk in the office a few stories below their condo. He already missed his lover, but it couldn’t be helped. He had to spend his Saturday catching up with work and later that day, he had a meeting scheduled with Hiki’s father. It was the last time they would meet, at least that’s what Matsuda had told him.   
“The boss has something special planned for you, so be prepared,” was what he said. Howl was quite nervous as he had no clue what to prepare for and how. So much had happened in those past six weeks. His training went well, even though it was beyond exhausting to find a balance between that, his work, the appointments with Matsuda and his relationship with Hiki. The training and the self-defense lessons were very tough on his body in the beginning. He used to go for runs and play tennis in the past, but he hadn't done any sports ever since he had started his company. His body had felt sore after the first few dojo visits, and he even managed to gain weight somehow. He actually knew that it was because he was stress eating snacks too much to a point where even Hiki noticed it. It was frustrating to Howl that he worked so hard, but it didn’t seem to pay off. And due to the fatigue and his sore body, he hadn’t even been able to show the usual amount of physical affection towards his lover, which stressed him out even more. He didn’t want Hiki to feel rejected, and up until then, their sex life had been very healthy and active. Luckily, Hiki was soon at the peak of his exam phase, so Howl just hoped that it was enough to keep him distracted, which made it easier for him to hide what he was doing. And soon, his body started adjusting and he became used to it. His shape started changing quickly and he was back to his usual self.  
Matsuda frequently ordered him to their Yakuza meetings at the most random hours. Sometimes on the weekends, in the morning or in the middle of the week late at night. He especially remembered one time when he had gotten home from work and he still had enough energy to get intimate with Hiki, but the moment they were heated up to the max, done with their foreplay and were about to get started, Howl’s phone rang and he had to pick up the call. ‘No excuses.’ That was the deal after all. He had never seen Hiki so angry. Until that day, his lover had always been very understanding when it came to Howl’s sometimes very long working hours. But that night, he was seriously mad at him and clearly disappointed. Eventually, Hiki felt rejected and that was exactly what Howl had tried so hard to avoid. He really wished he could have just told him, but at least he never lied about what he was doing. Howl just never cleared up his lover’s assumptions that he was just busy with work…  
  
He sighed deeply as he took a framed picture of him and Hiki from his desk and looked at it. Even though he felt bad for Hiki, he had to comply with Matsuda’s and Ueda’s orders. Even on the day before Hiki’s birthday, they didn’t hesitate to call him over to a meeting. Nothing major happened there, it was just a bunch of shady looking guys sitting together, talking business. Howl had been to many of those by then, and sometimes the mood turned around and it became a heated discussion, occasionally ending in fistfights. But afterwards, when everything was settled, they always walked away peacefully. It was odd to him, but he had gotten used to it. Though, sometimes he also had to attend more serious appointments, such as collecting debts. Howl had witnessed some things he would have liked to unsee, and one time, he was even close to giving up. They had to collect debt from a suitor of one of the clan’s prostitutes. Just one of the side businesses the Ueda-gumi was involved in. They went to the brothel first to talk to the girl. To Howl’s surprise, it was a very noble-looking establishment. The girl told them that one of her suitors had hit her and then bounced. She looked terrible, her face was bruised and she seemed like a sweet person. Howl felt really bad for her, but Matsuda was treating her respectfully and gently, which again, surprised Howl. They had to find the man who had done that to her to collect the debt, and Matsuda’s men found him quickly. Howl was just a bystander, but he felt extremely awkward, because that man was crying and begging for his life as soon as they forced their way into his apartment, and handed them the money he owed to the girl. He was obviously under the influence of something. Matsuda’s underlings didn’t hesitate to beat him to a pulp. Then, one of them brought a Katana from the car and Matsuda announced that his crime towards the Ueda-gumi would have to be paid back by Yubitsume, which meant it would cost him his finger. The man screamed hysterically and begged them to spare him. So much so, that Howl reflexively stepped in and asked them to let him go since they had already beaten him up and received the money. Matsuda just glared at him and told him: “It’s not about the money, it’s about the girl. We don’t like it when someone damages our goods, she won’t be able to make money until she has healed. And violence against women is something we don’t condone in general. So unless you want to sacrifice your finger for this bastard, step back and shut the hell up. Know your place, Gaijin.”  
That was the first and last time Howl had ever interfered with their doings. He learned later that in most groups, women were seen as lower life forms, especially prostitutes. Ueda was different in that regard, though. He valued his workers and didn’t allow anyone to mistreat them. As weird as it was, Howl was glad to hear that. He had been aware of the fact that Ueda was running some shady side businesses next to the clean ones. He was a Yakuza boss, after all. He knew about the rumours of Ueda’s not so clean slate from the beginning; however, Howl never regretted getting involved with him. Not even during this tough time. After all, he had been lucky enough to meet the love of his life thanks to that.   
  
He placed the picture back on his desk, got up and looked at his phone. He had left it in sleep mode so he wouldn’t be distracted and could finish work faster, so there were a load of messages from Hiki, which he quickly checked. Most of the messages were pictures of the three of them with the caption “We decided to visit the zoo”. Howl chuckled. They were making silly faces and poses, and it just looked like they had a blast together. He felt relieved, because he had assumed that Hiki might have been sad that he wasn’t able to join them, but his hopes that his brother and his best friend would distract him were fulfilled. The last picture showed Hiki in front of a big rose bush posing with heart hands. Howl smiled lovingly. At the end of the picture flood was another message.  
[I love you so much and I miss you. I found your note saying that you will be home late, so we’ll have the Nabe tomorrow. I want to use my new pot and the knives for the first time when you’re here to eat with us. Be safe and don’t work too hard, see you tonight! I love love love love love you!]  
Howl chuckled and replied: [I love you too, Hikkun. I’m glad that you’re having fun. Stay safe too. I miss you like crazy and I’m looking forward to having the Nabe tomorrow.]  
Howl sighed as he put his phone into the inner pocket of his jacket, shut down his computer and left the office to head to his appointment with the Oyabun and his enforcer.   
They met at a bar that was obviously mostly targeting the likes of them. It had a very fancy interior and the clientele was mostly men in black suits, but also ladies of easy virtue to entertain them and make sure their guests would have a good time there. But the three of them didn’t stay there. Them and two of Ueda’s guards went downstairs to the basement, and at first Howl thought there might just be another floor of the establishment, but it was literally just a basement. No wallpapers, no fancy wooden floors, no expensive decorations and furniture. Just raw brick walls and a concrete floor with some big boxes stored in one corner. Yet, there were around twenty tables with multiple chairs placed all over the spacious room, so it was either used by customers after all, or they were just stored there. Anyhow, it felt dark, cold and dusty and it reeked of cigarettes, sweat and liquor. Not very inviting and Howl wondered why they went down there. Something that Howl found odd as well, was the big, round and empty area in the middle of the room that seemed to be there for a reason.   
The three men sat down at a big round table on the side, their backs against a wall (phrasing argh help). A path was leading from there to the empty area in the middle of the room that offered a good view on it. Their table had three comfortable looking chairs that were obviously taken from the interior upstairs, in contrast to the rest of the furniture down there that looked cheap and used. Ueda sat down in the middle, Matsuda on his left and Howl’s seat was on Ueda’s left. The guards were standing on the left and right next to the table. Howl felt like it was quite a big deal to sit at one table with the Oyabun. Matsuda seemed a little nervous too, as if he wasn’t used to being seated at the VIP table.  
“Oyassan, is it really okay? Shouldn’t I sit over there with the others, as usual?” Matsuda asked.   
“It’s fine, Matsuda. You’ve earned it. You’ve done well in teaching Howl-san. Don’t be so tense, let’s enjoy our night.”  
More and more people arrived. Only men, obviously members of the Ueda-gumi, and everyone who entered the room came over to their table to greet Ueda formally.   
“Ueda-san, may I ask what this place is and what’s going to happen here,” Howl asked eventually.   
“You’ll see,” was the answer he got.   
A waiter came over and took their order and Howl wanted to order an alcohol free beer, but Ueda ordered a bottle of Sake for them to share.   
“I hope you can hold your liquor, Howl-san,” he grinned.   
Howl swallowed heavily. He normally avoided drinking alcohol, since he knew that Hiki hated the smell. It recalled bad memories of his mother after all, but even though he would have liked to decline, he knew that it would offend Ueda. Howl didn’t even like the taste, but he _had _to drink with him. _I’m sorry, Hikkun_, he thought as he took a sip from his glass.   
Time passed and nothing really happened. Ueda had some talks with people who sat down at their table, then they left and others came. Howl became a little agitated, since it was nothing but a waste of time to him. He just wanted to go home and be with his Hikkun, lazing on the sofa before going to bed and holding him in his arms while they fell asleep. He swore to himself that he would take the time to go on a vacation with him as soon as everything was over. _Honeymoon, actually_, Howl realized and smiled fondly. _I hope he says yes..._  
Suddenly, the lights went out and only some spotlights were directed at the empty area. The audience was murmuring.   
“Ah, it begins,” Ueda said and grinned.  
Two men stepped in the middle of the area, and a third man joined them a moment later.  
“What is happening?” Howl asked, utterly confused.   
“They’re going to fight, it’s a competition. Or more like a selection method for our aspirants. Kyodai or their underlings can bring in candidates, men who want to join the clan, and we developed this little procedure to separate the wheat from the chaff. It’s really entertaining as well, some place bets.”  
“...Who is that third man?”  
“The referee. We have certain rules, too, we don’t want anyone to get seriously hurt. Just watch.”  
“No weapons,” the referee suddenly started shouting and the crowd went silent. “If one gets knocked out, the fight's over, as usual! Fighters, get ready!! Three... two... one… FIGHT!” He immediately stepped aside and the two men started beating each other without hesitation. It was brutal; Howl had never seen anything like that before. He wasn’t someone who got involved in fights, even though he wouldn’t hesitate to defend himself or innocent people from an attacker. But something like this was repulsive to him.   
“Oh, we have two very eager ones here. No strategies, but they’re both fast and know how to land a punch. Interesting. I wish my son could watch them, he would be delighted.”  
“Your son,” Howl asked.   
“Hiroki. I told you that he’s a pro in several martial arts and he knows how to fight. Kickboxing is his personal personal passion. I took him with me when he was 14 and he begged me to let him fight too. He, as my successor, wanted to prove himself. And he won. Easily, of course. I was very proud of him that day.”  
Howl nodded. Even though their practices still baffled him, knowing more about how they worked helped him understand their mindset better. But he still felt very uncomfortable watching those young men beating each other up until one of them dropped, and after the fifth fight, he had gotten absolutely sick of it. Adding the cigarette smoke-filled air, the stench of blood and alcohol, the bawling crowd and all that sake in his body, he started feeling nauseous. He got up to go to the bathroom for a little break, but was held back by Matsuda. “Oi, Gaijin, where do you think you’re going?”  
“I wanted to use the bathroom,” he explained, feeling like a kid that had to ask the teacher to leave the classroom.  
“Come back right away, you’re next.”  
“I’m what now? Wait, hold on a second!” Howl was shocked, and tried to process Matsuda’s words. “You want me to fight?”  
“Yes.”  
“B-But I can’t fight…”  
“If you can’t fight by now after all those lessons, you’ve wasted our time, which would be highly disrespectful to the boss. So go and take a piss now, I said you’re next,” Matsuda growled.   
Howl looked over to the current fight. It was so violent, and there was a lot of blood involved; no one held back in the slightest. The boys fought hard to earn their place in the clan. Everything felt so unreal all of a sudden, as if he was stuck in a nightmare. It wasn’t a matter of can or can’t. Physically he would most likely be able to fight, but did he want to participate in such a thing?

Howl then turned around and left for his quick bathroom break. He splashed some water into his face in an attempt to lower the nausea and looked at his reflection in the mirror. “Alright, you can do this. You have trained hard. It’s for our future…”  
Howl had never thought about how easy Ueda had been on them and how much power he had over them, even if Hiki would become of age next year. But he wasn’t 20 yet, so Ueda would be able to order Hiki back any time. Howl was sure that his father knew Hiki was better off in Tokyo with him, than in their house with that trainwreck of a mother, and that was the reason why he let him move to Tokyo in the first place. But if Howl lost today, he might lose everything. He had to prove himself in front of Ueda… According to them... But what would happen afterwards? What would he tell Hiki? Howl would never lie to him, so if he asked what he had done to convince his father, what would he answer? Knowing how much his lover despised violence, knowing that he would hate it for Howl to be violent towards someone… Would Howl be able to look Hiki in the eyes afterwards? Would Hiki start hating him?   
He took a deep breath and needed a few minutes to decide on what he would do. But it was actually clear what he had to do. For Hiki and their future.   
When he walked back through the long, narrow hallway, he was stuck behind a man wearing a hoodie, who was walking slower than necessary. Howl became impatient quickly because of all the tension that had built up inside of him, but there was no way he was able to pass that man without bumping against him and he didn’t react to his “Excuse me…”. Knowing how those yakuza guys might react if agitated, he prefered slow walking over getting into an argument after all and just tried to calm down in the meantime. Of course he headed all the way in the same direction as Howl and when they had finally entered the big, noisy room, Howl headed straight over to the big bosses' table and stepped in front of it.   
“Ueda-san, I won’t fight,” he said with a firm voice.   
“Oh? Howl-san, remember... No excuses or complaints. If you don’t comply, I will not allow you to be with him. And if the two of you defy me, I will make you deeply regret doing so. By now, with all the insight you got in the past weeks, you know that I’m not making empty threats.” Ueda glared at Howl in a way that caused shivers to run down his spine. He swallowed.   
“I’m well aware of that, Ueda-san. But what’s more important to me is my dignity and to be able to look him into the eyes after this. It would hurt him to know that I took part in something like this. So, with all due respect, I’ll pass and accept any of your decisions. But if you try to take him away from me, be aware that that will be the moment I _will _start fighting.” Howl had never been so nervous in his life. His heart was throbbing so hard, he could hear it over the noisy crowd, but he made sure not to let it show. He stood his ground and wouldn’t back down.   
“So you choose disrespecting me over disrespecting my son?”  
“Um… Well, basically… Yes.”  
“Listen, Harada…” Ueda started, but was interrupted. Just as Ueda started to reply to him, Howl noticed someone rushing over to their table. It was the man in the hoodie from the hallway closing in fast and Howl could see something shiny in his hands.   
“This is for my son, you bastard,” the stranger yelled as he pointed a gun at Ueda. Everything went down in a split second, but to Howl it felt like it was happening in slow motion. He leaped into the attacker's direction, shoved his hands upwards to direct the gun to the ceiling, quickly punched him in the stomach, which made him bend over; he slammed the man’s hand that was still holding on to the weapon on his knee which made him drop the gun and then Howl threw him over his shoulder onto the ground. One more well-aimed punch into the attacker’s face and his lights went out. Howl was sitting on his chest, breathing heavily as he realized what just happened.   
“Oi, Harada, move,” Matsuda yelled. Howl got up quickly and watched him tying the attacker’s hands on his back. “Where the fuck are the guards? How did this bastard get inside?” Ueda’s enforcer yelled. Some of the higher-ranked kyodai rushed over to help Matsuda carrying out the still unconscious man, and the crowd had gone silent. Everyone was stunned, most of them were staring at Howl. The adrenaline rush was intense. He turned around to look after Hiki’s father, but he was gone.   
“Oi, Gaijin,” Matsuda shouted over from the door. “The boss wants to talk to you in private, let’s go.” Howl followed Matsuda, and everyone they passed complimented him for his fast reaction and patted his back.   
“Don’t let that get to your head,” Matsuda growled. “You were just lucky…”  
Howl didn’t answer. It was so surreal, he hadn’t really processed what was going on. A moment ago he was sure Ueda would go off on him and make his life miserable, and in the next moment someone pointed a gun at him. Howl’s reaction was by pure instinct, but apparently, the intense training had left a deep impact on him. The movements to unarm the attacker came to him naturally, he didn’t even have to think about it. _Amazing_, he thought.   
Matsuda opened the door to a private room upstairs, where he had led him. There was no cigarette stench, and the room looked quite homely. It had a sofa and an armchair, which Ueda was sitting on, with a coffee table in between. The furniture was made of dark brown wood combined with red leather and the dark red walls were decorated with antique Japanese ink drawings of cranes, tigers and dragons. It had a very distinctive vibe, fitting for that sort of clientele, Howl thought.  
“Sit down, I want to talk to you,” Ueda said.   
“Are you okay, Ueda-san?” he asked, worried, as he sat down on the couch. It was only the two of them in the room, and Howl was sure Ueda would drag him over the coals soon enough, but he was worried. This was his lover’s father, after all.  
“This isn’t the first time something like this happens. But it shouldn’t have happened here. I need to re-evaluate my security guards, I guess. Here, drink with me.” He pushed a glass filled with a clear liquid over to Howl.  
“More sake…” he noticed, cringing.   
“Of course. Men drink sake.”  
Howl tried not to roll his eyes. He took the glass but didn’t drink from it. He felt more like having iced tea or something, but didn’t say anything.   
“Listen, Howl-san… What you just did in there… You probably saved my life when even my own people weren’t able to. I owe you. And I’m actually impressed, your reflexes are excellent, your movements were controlled and fast. You’ve learned a lot from your Sensei, it seems.”  
“He was a great teacher, thank you for making it possible to learn from him. Even my sister, who’s a dojo instructor, was impressed when I told her his name.”  
“Sophie, right? Your twin?”  
“How do you…”  
Ueda chuckled. “Do you really think I wouldn’t get a thorough background check on the person who’s dating my son? I know everything about you. I had your work background checked even before I hired your company.”  
“I guess that figures…”  
“I hired you because you were quite new to the business. Most of the established companies are already biased or bribed. With the information that one can gain about our businesses by digging into our computer systems, they could gravely harm us. But you come from a good background, you’re a self taught IT prodigy raised by honest people. And yes, I also checked your family’s backgrounds. I trusted you with my businesses, and now I know for sure that I can trust you with my son as well. And I respect your decision not to engage in useless fights, but spare your energy for the important ones. I wanted to tell you that before all that happened.”  
“Does that mean…”  
“That means that I give you my consent to transfer his name to your koseki. But be aware that if you harm him in any way, you won’t be forgiven, even the fact that you saved my life won’t matter, and you will pay back for it in _our _ways.”  
“I understand.”  
“And I want you to promise to me that you will do anything in your power to protect him. I know you can’t be around him 24/7, but when you are, keep him safe.”  
“I promise.”  
“What are you going to tell him it was that kept you so busy in the past six weeks?”  
“I will tell him the truth. I will tell him that I had to improve and work on myself before I was ready to propose to him. I’ll tell him that I learned what it means to become a part of his family. And I will let him know that you’ve taught me important lessons.”  
“Will you also tell him what happened tonight?”  
“No, I won’t. He would worry sick, so I think it’s better to keep that to myself.”  
“So you’re going to lie to him…”  
“If he asks, I will tell him anything. But if he doesn’t, there’s no reason to talk about things that would put him in a bad headspace. He has enough to deal with. He carries many traumas from his past… as you know…”  
Ueda sighed deeply. “Let me tell you something about Hikaru’s past…” He took his glass and emptied in one go, just to fill it up again right away. “But you have to give me your word to keep everything I talk to you about from now on between the two of us. None of it will ever leave this room.”  
Howl nodded. “I give you my word.”  
“The marriage with his mother was an arranged marriage to bring our clans together. We were close to a war and her parents wanted to avoid it. They offered her and my parents accepted. I remember the first time I met her. She was this young and amazingly beautiful girl, very shy and sweet. I felt like we connected immediately and got along very well. I would say, to me, it was love at first sight. To her… I don’t know. She always acted sweetly around me in the beginning, but shortly after we got married, her behaviour changed bit by bit. She became demanding and acted very spoiled. She often cried over nothing or threw temper tantrums like a child. By the time she became pregnant with our daughter Harumi, I was away a lot, because I was getting prepared to take over the clan. I worked hard at extending our businesses, it wasn't something that happened overnight. After she gave birth to Hiroki two years later, she started changing even more. I was rarely at home, but every time I was, she kept complaining about how lonely she was and accused me of cheating on her. She trashed her room more than once. I tried my best to meet her demands but my line of work just made it impossible. No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough. Even when I spent more time at home, she would complain and throw things at me out of nowhere. I was at my wits’ end. But I kept trying to fulfill her needs even when I didn’t know what it was she actually wanted anymore. I think she didn’t know that herself. Three years after Hiroki, Satoshi was born and she changed for the better. Whenever he was around, my wife lit up. But it was just his whole personality that was endearing. Everybody loved him and even the biggest and baddest yakuza went soft when Satoshi smiled at him. Due to some unfortunate events, a feud with another clan started and I had to be away from home a lot again. It went back to how it was before and she treated me poorly whenever I was home. But I didn’t care anymore. I wouldn’t say that my love for her turned into hate, but I just didn’t want to be around her.” Ueda chuckled, but his face wore a sad expression. “Well, guess what... She became pregnant again. It was a miracle, since I hadn’t touched her in more than six months by that time.”  
Howl’s eyes widened. “She… She was cheating on you? So…”  
“Hikaru isn’t my biological son.”  
“B-But…” Howl was deeply shaken and at a loss for words. “He doesn’t know, does he? He never mentioned anything...”  
“No, I never told him. There’s no need to, he’s my son. Nothing could ever change that. I confronted her, of course, but she had the nerve to deny it. I think she herself was convinced that he was my son. She had become more and more mentally unstable around that time, so I don’t know if she lied or truly believed it. Maybe she wanted to protect that man, I don’t know. And there was nothing I could do about it anyway. My parents had died a year after Hiroki was born, so they wouldn’t have been an issue. But her family would have started a war if I had filed for divorce... Our clan had become stronger by then, but still… I was afraid that she would take the kids away from me. So I just accepted it. The woman I once loved was no longer there anyway. She was just a shadow of herself and had become nothing but a pain to deal with for everyone around. Shortly after Hikaru’s birth, she started locking herself inside her room and I didn’t mind that in the slightest. The kids were taken care of by the nannies and that was the most important to me. I tried getting things back to how they were… that’s when she became pregnant with Hajime, but it didn’t work out. Her mental health declined and even after she had given birth to my youngest and was prescribed medicine, she just refused to take it. She refused to see doctors at all. Again, there was nothing I could do… I wanted to submit her to a mental health clinic after she threatened to commit suicide, but when I talked to her family, they threatened me… So I didn’t. I just let her be and made sure the kids were alright even when I wasn’t around. And I rarely was. It was selfish of me, but I drowned myself in work just to avoid going home. And if I was there, I spent the time in my office. Back then, I didn’t think I was a bad father, since the kids were cared for. Little did I know what was going on…”  
“You’re talking about the abuse,” Howl asked bluntly.   
Ueda nodded. Howl could see the massive guilt he was carrying with him showing on his face. “I had no idea that she treated him so horribly. I only knew of one time when she hit Hajime. He told me and I got so mad at her. I told her if she ever did that to him again, I would make her take her own medicine. And she never touched him again. But Hikaru… He never said a word. He never cried or complained to me… When I saw him, he always acted as if he was fine. He smiled, was cheerful and was just a great kid.”  
“But he wasn’t fine.”  
“No, he wasn’t. And apparently it completely escalated after Satoshi died. Her health decreased rapidly. She started drinking, and… I, again, escaped those worries. This time, I was determined to avenge my son. And even after I succeeded, I still kept staying away from home.”  
“Hikkun would have needed you. He almost killed himself over the blame he had to take from your wife and he believed her. He was just a kid, he did nothing wrong. And no one was there to tell him. You should have been there since his mother is a psychotic maniac!”  
“Howl-san, keep in mind who you’re talking to. Just because we have this little moment here, doesn’t mean I’ll allow you to disrespect me.”  
Ueda probably expected an apology, but Howl stayed silent and just glared at him. He had felt the urge to tell him those things for so long now.   
“I know that I made mistakes. Many mistakes. I know that I was a terrible father, that’s why I’m glad that he’s with you now. I was shocked when I learned that he was with another man, sure. But I felt like you would be able to take good care of him.”  
“He’s doing much better now.”  
“I know he is. And tonight you made it clear that my decision was right. I never thought about not giving my approval even once. I planned on doing so from the beginning, but I wanted you to improve yourself and the training was necessary, as you can see. Things like tonight happen to a yakuza.”  
“I’m not sure if you’re this open to me because we’re both slightly drunk by now, but I want to thank you for your trust. And I think it’s not too late for you to become a better parent. Your kids still need you and would appreciate you trying.”  
“No… It’s too late. Harumi has her husband now, Hikaru has you and Hajime has Kaito. And Hiroki will find someone too. They don’t need me anymore to care for them.”  
“Y-You know about Hajime and Kaito?”  
“Howl-saaaan, I know everything that’s going on in my house.”  
“And you’re okay with that?”  
“Why wouldn’t I? Kaito is a great kid. Very down to earth and diligent.”  
Howl smiled. “But he hasn’t told you yet, so why don’t you...”  
“He will once he’s ready. I won’t interfere with that, he has to have the guts to tell me himself. And he will, I know he will. He’s very courageous and determined. He still takes martial arts lessons and I can tell from his fighting style. He will make his way in life,” Ueda nodded approvingly.   
“I still think that they need you to be there. They’re not kids anymore, but in a grown-up way, they need you… Do I make sense?” Howl felt drunk, because during Ueda’s story telling, they kept sipping on their sake.   
“You do… I think,” Ueda chuckled.   
“We’ll have nabe tomorrow. Hikkun will cook and Hajime and Kaito will be there too. I’m sure they would be happy if you come. You’re officially invited, Ueda-san.”  
“I’ll think about it,” he promised.   
The two men spend some more time drinking and talking about this and that and Howl was surprised by how likeable Ueda actually was when he was less tense. They had a good time. 

  
Around midnight, Hiki, Hajime and Kai were lazing on the sofa and watching a movie before bed. Hiki suddenly noticed the sound of the door unlocking and sat up.    
“It’s Howl,” he sparkled.    
“Niichan… you’re really acting like his dog…” Hajime teased him.    
“Shut up,” Hiki replied and stuck out his tongue.    
“Very mature, you two,” Kai mumbled.    
But then a loud thud drew their attention towards the entrance.    
“Howl?” Hiki got up and walked over. “Howl! What’s wrong?”   
His lover was lying on the floor in the hallway, motionless. He knelt down next to him and noticed a certain stench. “Ew… Howl, you reek of alcohol… and cigarettes… Are you drunk?”   
“Higgun… I diddit. Is ogey, Higgun. Evvything’s oggey now, I think he liges me, hehe,” Howl slurred and grinned.    
Hajime and Kai had rushed over as well.    
“The hell happened to him?!” Hajime asked.    
“He’s drunk,” Kai answered.    
“Can you help me bring him to the bedroom?”   
“Sure, Niichan. Come on, Howl-nii.”    
The three of them struggled to help Howl up and he was staggering, but they managed to take him to the bedroom, where they sat him down on the big bed.    
“Thank you, I’ll take over from here and get him undressed and ready for bed.”   
“Good night, Niichan, and good luck.”   
“Good night,” Hiki replied and turned to Howl as Hajime and Kai left the room. He started unbuttoning his shirt whilst Howl was grinning at him stupidly.    
“Escuse me, but please don do that. You’re very preddy, but you know, I have a Higgun at home. He’s the persson I love the mos and I won’t cheat on him. An do be frank, he’s much hodder than you are… more than anyone is...”   
Hiki was confused for a moment, but then he giggled. “It’s me, Howl. I’m Hikkun and I’m getting you ready for bed. You smell really gross, you know...”   
“Higgun? Mh… Ahm sorry, Higgun. I had to dring, he made me… Ahm so sorry… For evvything… I will... make up... for it, I pwoms…” Howl wasn’t able to finish his sentence, because he had started nodding off in the middle of it. He slowly dropped to the side and Hiki wasn’t able to keep him sitting up.    
“Dammit… Oh well, just go to sleep like this then, I can just change the sheets tomorrow.” He sighed and lifted Howl’s legs up, which wasn’t easy. “Why are you so tall and heavy, ugh!” He then tucked him in and since he was already in his pajamas, he just laid down next to him. “Just what is going on with you, Howl…” Hiki sighed, worried, and crinkled his nose. He really hated the smell of alcohol. It was what his mother smelled like when she was at her worst and made him suffer the most. But that person next to him wasn’t her, it was his lover. He caressed Howl’s face and smiled before he fell asleep too. 


	17. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this is it! This is the final chapter of Volume 1 - Their Story!!!  
Thank you for everyone who was sticking around!  
Volume 2 will start soon, I hope to see you there!! :D
> 
> Note: Ane-san = Term for the wife of a yakuza leader (what the members call her)

The next day, Hiki was busy working on the gift basket for the guards’ pregnant wife, when Howl came home from work and rushed to the kitchen.   
“Hikkun!” He yelled so loudly, that Hiki almost dropped a plate of freshly baked muffins.   
“Jeez, Howl, you scared me. What’s wrong?”   
“Sorry, but I've been waiting all day to tell you this…”   
“Tell me what?”   
“Listen, the mother of one of my employees owns a book store that's twenty minutes from here. She said that her sales assistant is moving away and now she’s looking for a replacement. The working hours are flexible! We were casually talking in the break room when she mentioned it and I told her that you’re looking for a job. She gave me her mother’s business card, so if you want, you can call her and make an appointment for an interview, isn’t that great? A bookstore of all things,” Howl explained excitedly.   
“Are you for real?” Hiki rejoiced. “Whose mother is it?”   
“Yamato-san’s…”   
“Oh, she’s such a nice person, I bet her mother is the same. I’m even more excited now!”   
“You know Yamato-san? She joined the company only three months ago, so you can’t have met her at the Christmas party last year...”   
“Howl, I know all of your employees. I often talk to them when I wait for you to have lunch together at your office.”   
Howl smiled lovingly. “Anyhow, here’s the address and the phone number. You can call her on Monday, she said. But now…” Howl walked over to his lover, who was standing at the big kitchen island, and hugged him from behind. “ _ Our _ weekend begins.”   
“What do you mean? I thought you have to work tomorrow…”   
“Nope. Tonight, as well as the next two days, it will be just the two of us. Well, almost, but you’ll see. We’re going to celebrate our first anniversary, and nothing and no one will interfere. I talked to Kinsley and told him that I will not return any work-related calls or messages.”   
“What did he say?”   
“Since he knows what's been going on recently, he told me to better make it up to you and kicked me out of the office.”   
Hiki giggled. “Kinsley is the best. I’m excited, but what are we going to do?” Hiki asked as Howl started kissing his neck.   
“It’s a surprise. I’ll tell you tomorrow,” Howl mumbled into Hiki’s nape.   
“Mh…” Hiki shuddered. “You’re getting in the way of _ my _ surprise, though…”   
“What was it?”   
“Well, since I thought you’d be working, I was planning on cooking all of your favorite things for dinner. So that when you got home, you could have a great meal, and then I thought we’d retreat to… the sofa…”   
“The sofa, really…”   
Hiki giggled as Howl nibbled on his earlobe.   
“I’m sad that I’m going to miss out on that.”   
“But…” Hiki started, slid out of Howl’s embrace, and walked over to the kitchen counter to grab a big, white jar. “I already made a load of these…” He opened the jar and the mouthwatering scent of the freshly baked cookies Howl loved so much tickled his nostrils.   
“Ooh, Hikkun! You made your chocolate chip cookies for me? You haven’t made them in a while…”   
“ _ Double _ chocolate chip cookies even,” he grinned.   
“Jeez, I love you so much,” Howl huffed and reached out, but Hiki instantly closed the jar.   
“Nope, they’re for tomorrow. You’ll have to wait.”   
“That’s so cruel of you! Can… Can I at least have one now?”   
“You’ll have to pick between one of the cookies or a kiss from me,” Hiki teased him.   
“Hmm… That’s tough, let me think about it…”   
“Hey, what’s that supposed to me-”   
Howl leaped forward and kissed Hiki on the lips. “Just kidding. You’re the best treat after all,” he grinned and Hiki giggled. “How about I help you finish this up and we go to the bedroom so I can snack on you some more?”   
“You’re such a glutton, but I’m okay with that,” Hiki grinned.   
They finished packing the present basket for the downstairs guards’ wife and retreated to their bedroom afterwards, where they spent the rest of the night.   
  
The next morning, Hiki woke up feeling refreshed and overly happy. He couldn’t wait to spend the day with his lover. He stretched out and yawned before turning around. Howl was lying next to him.   
“Good morning, Hikkun. Happy anniversary,” he greeted him, smiling warmly.   
Hiki smiled back broadly. “Good morning, Howl, happy anniversary.” He moved closer to his lover, they kissed and embraced each other.   
“Are you ready for today?” Howl asked.   
“I’m not sure, what are we going to do?”   
“Well, 0first, we’re gonna lie here doing nothing for a bit longer. Then we’re gonna take a shower together, get dressed and then we’ll leave.”   
“Where to?”   
“We’re gonna stop somewhere to have breakfast and then we’ll be on our way to Machida.”   
“Huh? Why?”   
“You wanted to show me the animal shelter, right?”   
Hiki sat up and stared at Howl in surprise. “Wah! We’re going there today? Really?!”   
“Yup. And afterwards we’re going to stop at Ramen Jiji’s for lunch, go for a walk, and I originally wanted to take you to the fair we went to last year in the evening, but unfortunately, it was postponed to later in May for some reason. Hajime and Kaito told me about it. But there’s something else I want to do. That’s going to be a surprise, though.”   
“I’m so excited! You’re spoiling me so much!”   
“Well, you deserve it. And like I promised, I will tell you about what was going on in the past two months tonight.”   
Hiki nodded and snuggled back against Howl. They stayed in bed for a while longer but eventually got up.   
When they were ready to leave, Howl grabbed a suitcase he had kept hidden in the home office.   
“Howl, what is this?” Hiki asked, confused.   
“I packed it this morning while you were still sleeping. We’re going to stay overnight in Machida.”   
“At my family’s house?”   
“No, at a hotel. No way we’re going to stay there again with that maniac of a woman… Sorry.”   
“It’s fine. I prefer staying at a hotel too,” Hiki smiled.   
“Alright, let’s go!”   
  
After having a rich breakfast on their way, they drove straight to the animal shelter which was located in a rural area right outside of Hiki’s hometown. They parked right in front of a traditional old farmhouse surrounded by a wooden fence. It was a huge estate, including a big barn and stables. The buildings seemed well kept, but their age was showing and they looked pretty weathered.   
The couple got out of the car and as soon as they audibly shut the doors, a dog came charging towards them, barking. Howl jolted and went to protect Hiki intuitively, but his lover was hunkered down with his arms wide open.   
“Bento-chan,” he shouted smiling. The dog tackled him and he fell onto the ground, laughing as the border collie licked his face. “Bento-chan, ew, stop it,” he giggled. Suddenly they heard a sharp whistling tone and the dog retreated and ran over to a middle-aged woman who was approaching them. She wore her gray-streaked black hair in a messy bun and smiled broadly as she greeted them.   
“Hiki, what a joy to see you!”   
Hiki got up from the ground with Howl’s help and patted off the dust of the sandy country lane.   
“Izumi-san, I’m so happy to see you. How are you? I hope our visit isn’t inconvenient to you,” he smiled.   
“Not at all! I’m always happy when you stop by, you know that. And who is this handsome stranger by your side?” the woman asked bluntly.   
“That’s Harada Howl. He’s my partner, I told you about him.”   
“Oh, so you’re the one who took away my favorite helper to the big city, huh?” She glared at Howl.   
“That’s me, nice to meet you. I would apologize for taking him away, but I’m not really sorry,” Howl replied, just as blunt.   
Izumi broke out in laughter. “I like you. Nice catch, Hiki!” She winked at him. “Let’s go inside and have tea. Or do you want the tour first?”   
“Oh yes, please! I would like to greet the animals,” Hiki sparkled.   
“Alright, follow me.” The woman opened the big wooden gate and they entered her property. She led them behind the big main building to the farmyard, over to one of the big barns. Inside were several separate stables.   
“We have two horses here, four cows, two donkeys and on the other side of the main building there's the hen-coop,” the woman explained while Hiki ran from stable to stable to greet the big farm animals.   
“I think they still remember me,” he rejoiced as he patted a big brown horse’s neck.   
“Of course, they do! You took really good care of them whenever you came visiting, after all.”   
Howl didn’t really care for the animals, he was more busy watching his excited lover.   
They spent a few minutes in the barn after moving over to the main building.   
“The dogs are inside, do you want to play with them?”   
Hiki nodded excitedly. They entered the big farmhouse. The interior was just as traditional as the outside appearance. Dark wooden floors, beams and shoji, wooden sliding doors covered with translucent paper that served as room dividers. The owner led them to a spacious tatami room, where an opened shoji gave a great view to the veranda and the inner yard. She opened another sliding door and whistled. Suddenly, the room was filled with a hoard of excited dogs. Hiki sat down in the middle of the room and was immediately surrounded by them and after greeting them, they started playing, whilst Howl and Izumi sat down at a table to have tea.   
“You have a really great estate here,” Howl complimented Izumi. “It’s admirable how you can keep it this clean and organized and keep all the animals well-fed and groomed. Do you have workers or anything, or are you doing this all by yourself?”   
“Fortunately, I have help. I have some friends as tenants who don’t pay rent but instead help me take care of the animals. I couldn’t pay anyone, this is a non-profit.”   
“How do you finance all of this then?”   
“We receive donations. We’re pretty much self-sustaining, we only buy food for the animals and things we can’t grow ourselves, like rice, flour, sugar, salt…”   
“You’re operating a shelter here, right? That’s what Hikkun called it. How many animals get adopted on an average during the year?”   
“We don’t have a high adoption rate, most cats and dogs that come here stay until their time in this world is over. We’re more of a pet sanctuary. I pick them up in miserable conditions and nurture them back to health. Many of them had been mistreated and have health conditions. They usually don’t get adopted, but if I pick up young and healthy animals or pregnant ones, we try to find new homes for them.”   
“Aren’t the vet bills very high then?”   
“A friend of mine is a veterinarian and gives us a discount, but yes, it’s not cheap. That’s why people like Hiki are so important,” she looked over to him and smiled. Hiki was giggling and frolicking around with the dogs. Seeing him acting so playful made Howl smile as well and his heart skipped a beat.   
“We’re getting by, but there are things that need to be taken care of that I just can’t afford, and that’s what’s giving me a headache.”   
“Like?”   
“I need to get the roofs fixed. The buildings are old and maintaining them is quite expensive. I fix most things myself, but I could use someone who does it professionally. The electric wires are pretty old and damaged too, sometimes we don’t have power at all. And we’re having trouble with the sewage, especially during winter since the isolation is worn down and the pipes easily freeze… Sorry for bothering you with this.”   
“No, it’s fine. I asked, after all.”   
“It’ll be alright. The heaters are still working, so we got that going for us,” she chuckled. “And it’s springtime now, so lots of time to think of a solution for the next winter.”   
“I admire your positive attitude, Izumi-san.”   
“I just need to function, all these little lives depend on me. And to do that, I have to stay positive. Hiki’s last donation was a blessing. I bought lots of hay for the cows, horses, and the two donkeys, stocked up on dog and cat food. I don’t know where he got that money over the years, but when he donated for the first time, he swore that he didn’t steal it, so...”   
“You don’t know…?”   
“I don’t know much about him. He showed up here one day and looked like he needed a place to escape to, so I invited him to come back and help me whenever he felt like it. He gratefully accepted, which I didn’t really expect because he was quite young. But Hiki was also very responsible with the tasks I gave him. He impressed me. But he never talked about his family or anything, and I didn’t want to force him to. He just loved being here, even though it wasn’t as often as he would have liked to, I think. I prefer animals over humans, so I understood him in that regard.”   
Howl nodded thoughtfully, knowing what it was his lover had tried to escape from.   
“Izumi-san, I have a proposal to make. I was planning on doing so before we came here since I know this place means a lot to Hikkun, but now, after talking to you, I’m even more firm in my decision.”   
“Hm? What is it?”   
“I would like to fund you.”   
The woman stared at Howl with her eyes agape for a moment before she answered. “What do you mean by that?”   
“I mean that I want you to call contractors for the repairs that need to get done and get cost estimates from them. You will send them to me and I will pay for all the constructions. And I mean everything. Water pipes, electric wiring, sewage, roofs, and whatever else needs to be done. I will tell one of my employees to work on your website and get it fixed, Hikkun said you’re having trouble doing it yourself.”   
“B-But the costs are horrendous… How…”   
“Don’t worry about that. This means a lot to Hikkun, so it means a lot to me. And you’re helping all these beings that haven’t had it easy, you’re a good person and I want to support that, so please accept my offer.”   
“I… I don’t know what to say, to be honest…” the woman stared at him stunned.   
“Just say yes.”   
“Y-Yes!”   
“Great, my assistant will contact you on Monday and recommend some contractors in case you need help with that. He will also talk you through the formalities. Here’s my business card. If you need anything, or if there’s any trouble, just give me a call.”   
“Thank you so much, Howl-san! This is… everything!”   
“Don’t mention it.”   
“Hey, what’s going on?” Hiki asked as he slumped down next to Howl, huffing exhaustedly.   
“Nothing,” Howl answered quickly. “Your face is all red and sweaty, don’t catch a cold.”   
“I’m having so much fun! Thank you for bringing me here, Howl,” Hiki sparkled.   
Howl smiled and wiped a drop of sweat off of his lover’s temple. “Unfortunately, we’ll have to leave. We have more planned for today, I’m sorry.”   
“No, it’s fine. We can come back, right?”   
“We will,” Howl smiled at him.   
“You’re really a sweet couple. I’m glad to see you like this, kiddo. The only time I saw you smiling was when you played with the dogs. I’m very happy for you, Hiki,” she smiled at him.   
“Thank you, Izumi-san… Also, thank you for always letting me spend time here.”   
“My pleasure, kiddo,” she winked at Hiki, smiling.   
  
Saying their goodbyes took a bit longer than expected, but eventually, they were back inside the car and on their way to Hiki’s favorite ramen restaurant, Ramen Jiji’s. They sat down at the same table they were sitting at the first time they went there, and ordered the same food.   
“This is so much fun, Howl. I’m so happy!” Hiki smiled broadly.   
“And I’m happy that you’re happy.”   
“Are you having fun too? Was it boring for you at the shelter? Sorry for neglecting you over the puppies,” Hiki giggled, ashamed.   
“It’s fine, it was fun watching you. And I talked to Izumi-san, which was very interesting. She’s doing great work there.”   
“She’s amazing, isn’t she? Oh, by the way, why did she keep thanking you when we left?”   
“Oh, that… Well, I offered her a little help with the funding of some repairs that need to be done. No biggie,” Howl downplayed his gesture.   
“You did that? Oh god, I love you so much, you’re awesome! She’s struggling so much with that and the donations they receive only cover some of the food costs. Thank you, Howl,” Hiki smiled broadly.   
“Like I said, no biggie.” Howl’s heart skipped a beat again at the sight of his sunshiny lover.   
Their meals were served and while they ate, Howl kept looking at his phone and typing messages.   
“Are you texting with Kinsley? Is something wrong? Do we have to go back?” Hiki suddenly asked.   
“Huh? No, everything is fine. Don’t worry, I just have to… Never mind.”   
“Okay…” Hiki answered and continued eating. He had the feeling that something was going on with Howl again, but he didn’t want to pester him.   
During their lunch, they kept talking about things that had happened in the past year and reminisced about the past year. Afterwards, they drove to the place where they'd had their double date with Hajime and Kaito and went for a walk through the meadows. It was very romantic, the cherry trees were still in full bloom and Hiki felt like he was on cloud nine as they walked along the small river while holding hands. He wanted to stay there forever and just enjoy their time together, but just before the sun started to set, Howl took him back to the car and they headed to their next destination.   
“Huh? Howl, didn’t you say they postponed the fair? Why are we here?” Hiki asked when they got out of the car and he saw the familiar surroundings.   
“There is no funfair, but something else... I’ll take you there, come on.” He reached out, took Hiki’s hand and they walked along the narrow path that led through a small forest over to the area where they had visited the fair a year prior. Just like back then, the sun was setting and drenched the scenery in an atmospheric orange glow. For some reason, Hiki’s heart was beating fast, just like that last time. He tightened his grip on Howl’s hand. Howl looked at him and smiled as they strolled through the park.   
And just like back then, they left the path at one point and walked through the woods until they arrived at the big glade. Hiki remembered that place very well. It was where he had his very first kiss with Howl right when the fireworks from the fair started. It looked even more beautiful in the now pinkish sunlight. The meadow was surrounded by trees and the grass was covered in small blue blossoms. As his eyes wandered around, Hiki suddenly spotted something.   
“Huh? What’s that…?”   
“Surprise,” Howl said smiling.   
Right in the middle of the glade, there was a round, wooden bistro table, as well as foldable wooden chairs. The table was covered with a white cloth and had plates, silverware and glasses set on it, as well as a mason jar filled with fairy lights in the middle. Next to the table, on the ground, was a big picnic basket.   
“Wow, Howl! How did you…?”   
“I had help from Hajime and Kai. That’s why I was on my phone earlier, I was texting them to make sure everything was going well. Come on, let’s sit down.”   
They did so and Howl opened the basket. He filled their glasses with water and placed several boxes on the table.   
“What is all this?”   
“It’s everything we had the last time at the festival. Takoyaki, karaage, toriyaki, yakisoba, dango, mochi…”   
“Whoaaa! Awesome! Howl, I’m so impressed! This is absolutely amazing,” Hiki praised him.   
“I’m glad that you like it. Let’s eat…”   
“Okay, but before we start eating, I would like to give you your present.”   
“You have a present for me?”   
“Of course! Here…” Hiki got up, stuck his hand into the pocket of his denim jacket, pulled something out, and handed it to Howl.   
“What is this?” Howl took the gift from Hiki and looked at it.   
“Sorry that I didn’t wrap it. It’s a letterweight that I made myself. It’s an acrylic ball and inside…”   
“There are blue flowers inside…”   
“Yup,” he smiled. “Those, actually.” He pointed at the flowers on the meadow surrounding them. “You probably didn’t notice it back then, but I picked some flowers that night and I dried them back home as a keepsake… A memory of our first date. Just like the little cat plushie you won for me on the fair. I still have it. But I thought, since it’s your memory too, I’d make the flowers into a gift for you. So I bought a do it yourself acrylic kit and made this letterweight that you can keep on your desk. Those flowers are called Baby Blue Eyes, by the way. Isn’t it funny? It reminded me of you because I love looking into your blue eyes, baby… Okay, that was cheesy,” he giggled, leaned over, and kissed Howl on the lips. “Happy anniversary, Howl. I love you so, so much.”   
“Thank you, Hikkun, I love it. And I love you.”   
Hiki sparkled and sat back down. “Now let’s dig in, I’m hungry from all the walking!”   
While they were eating it became darker and darker. Without the lights of the festival in the distance shining over nor the full moon from last time, it became harder and harder to see. Howl noticed Hiki’s struggles and remembered something.   
“Oh crap, I almost forgot!” He rummaged around in his jeans pocket and pulled out a small black remote. Howl pushed a button and suddenly hundreds of tiny lights in the grass around them lit up.   
“Uwaaah, Howl! How…?”   
“Battery powered LED fairy lights,” he grinned.   
“I’m having goosebumps, this is amazing! It’s so romantic!”   
“...Hikkun, are you done eating?”   
Hiki nodded. “Yup, I’m stuffed. Thank you for the meal, it was delicious!”   
“Glad you liked it. Listen, Hikkun, I want to talk to you about something… About the past two months, actually.”   
Hiki’s expression became more serious and his heart started beating faster. He suddenly felt extremely nervous for some reason.   
“Two months ago, I made a decision regarding our future. You know that I want to be with you forever, Hikkun. You’re mine and I’m yours, and that will never change. But I want us to also become legally what we already are: Partners. I hope you’re ready for this step and I hope that you feel the same way I feel about this.” Howl got up from his chair, stepped closer to Hiki, knelt down on one knee, and took his stunned lover’s hand.   
“Hikkun, please marry me!”   
Hiki stared at him, his teary eyes wide open in shock. He felt dizzy from the joy and warmth Howl’s words filled his chest with.   
“Howl, I love you more than life itself, and I want to spend every minute of the rest of my life with you…”   
Howl, who had nervously narrowed his eyebrows until then, softened his expression and smiled.   
“But… I can’t…”   
“W-Why not?”   
“Because we can’t get married as two men here. The laws don’t allow it, we’ve talked about this so often…” Hiki said with a sad expression. “It’s impossible…”   
“It’s not. There is a way… I can take you into my koseki. You can even take on my last name. You will be in my family registry, part of my family and that’s totally legal. It’s like being married! We’ll have the exact same rights as a straight married couple,” Howl explained.   
“Really? I’ve never heard of that…”   
“Yes, it’s true. So Hikkun, please marry me! Please say yes...”   
“I want to, but... There’s one more problem, my father would never allow that.”   
“You can actually make that decision yourself. The law says you’d have to be at least 14… So by law, you’re old enough to switch koseki, you don’t need your father’s permission anymore. So… Would you do it knowing that? Even without his approval?”   
“I will. I’ll do it! I want to marry you, Howl,” Hiki said as a single tear ran down his cheek. “I love you so much, I don’t need anyone’s permission!”   
Howl smiled. “Hikkun, I would never make you go behind your father’s back. I know how much his approval means to you. Wanna know what I did in the past two months?”   
Hiki nodded sniffling.   
“After I asked Hajime and Kai for your hand…” Howl started and Hiki’s eyes widened.   
“You asked them? What did they say?”   
“They gave us their approval.”   
Hiki smiled broadly as another tear escaped.   
“And afterwards, I went straight to your father and asked him as well.”   
Hiki jolted. “Oh my… Wh-What did he say? How did he react?”   
“He… kind of imposed a probation period on me... I guess that’s what you can call it. For the past two months, I had to take classes in self-defense and attend Clan meetings. He wanted to teach me his ways and show me the kind of environment you grew up in, and I learned a lot. Last week, when I got home drunk was when he told me that he would allow it. We talked a lot and unfortunately, along with that, a lot of sake was poured. But he gave us his approval, Hikkun. We have his okay,” Howl smiled.   
“Howl… I low yuh sho mush,” Hiki sobbed, got up from his seat, and glomped onto his lover, which made him lose his balance and they fell backwards on the grass. Hiki laid on him, crying. “Ahm sho habby!”   
Howl embraced him tightly and chuckled lovingly. “Me too, Hikkun. Me too,” he mumbled as he teared up as well.   
  


As they were lying in the grass for a moment, Howl suddenly noticed that Hiki had started shivering.   
“Let’s leave, Hikkun. The air is getting quite chilly. I booked a hotel nearby.”  
Hiki nodded. They got up, cleaned up after themselves, and left the glade. Howl told the worried Hiki that Hajime and Kai would pick up the table and chairs the next day. On their way back to the car, Howl held Hiki’s hand and didn’t let go of it even for a moment. When they checked into their room, Howl sat down on the bed and sighed happily.  
“Wow… I’m the luckiest man on earth…” he said when Hiki suddenly sat down astride Howl’s lap. “Oh, hi there,” he grinned. Hiki didn’t reply. His face was glowing and he stared at Howl with glazed eyes. He slowly moved his face closer to Howl’s, who could feel Hiki’s hot breath and opened his mouth to engage with him in a passionate deep kiss. Hiki took off his shirt while Howl’s right hand was sliding down his spine, giving him chills, before gliding into Hiki’s pants. His fingers aimed for Hiki’s entrance and made him gasp as they entered him.   
“Ngh… haa…” he huffed while their kiss was still lasting. Howl moved his fingers in and out, preparing his lover for their next step. When Hiki was at a point where he couldn’t stand the tension anymore, he placed his hands on Howl’s shoulders and pushed him down on the bed. “It’s fine already…” Hiki huffed. Hovering over him, he started unbuttoning Howl’s shirt, but then he paused.   
“Hikkun…?”  
“Howl… I just realized… We’re going to be one family… I’ll be Harada Hikaru…” His heart jumped. He leaned over and kissed Howl stormily. Hiki’s hand moved to his fiance's pants, he unbuckled his belt and opened the button and zipper to pull out his erect dick. _He’s so hard already_, Hiki thought.   
“Hey… Don’t look so surprised. You can’t be so sexy and expect me not to react to it. Don’t judge me.” Howl growled jokingly.  
Hiki giggled and got up to take off his pants. Howl shifted more to the center of the bed and Hiki immediately got back onto his lover’s lap. He hovered over his erect cock and took it with one hand to place the tip at his entrance and lowered his hips.   
“Mh… Ah,” he moaned as Howl slid deeper and deeper into him. “Ah… it’s all in… it’s hot… inside…” Hiki huffed.   
“Shit… Hikkun, don’t move.”  
“A-Are you okay?”  
“You and your family talk, combining our names… You’re too cute and now I’m really close, so don’t move, okay?”  
Hiki giggled. “_You’re_ the cute one. Can I move now?”  
“So impatient…”  
“Huh? Look who’s talking,” Hiki said and pinched Howl’s nipple.   
“Ouch,” he laughed. But then he grabbed Hiki by his hips so that he wasn't able to move.   
“Wah, Howl! Wait!” But Hiki didn’t stand a chance. Instead of him taking the lead of their movements, it was Howl who was now thrusting into him vigorously.   
"Uwah… Ah… Howl… Ngh!"   
"Hikkun… Kh…”  
“So deep! You’re hitting… There! Wah, ah!!”  
Howl slid in and out in rhythmic motions, as Hiki moaned above him.   
“Howl, so good, I’m gonna…"  
"Heh, already?"   
"Shu… Hah… Shuttup… Hn, ah!"   
"Me too, Hikkun…”  
Howl sped up the pace and Hiki shuddered as his cum spurted on his lover's chest, and Howl came inside the panting Hiki. His movements slowed down until he stopped moving and they paused for a moment, before Hiki slowly raised his hips and let Howl slide out.   
“Wow…” Hiki dropped down next to Howl, still panting, and snuggled against him. Howl wrapped his arms around him and their sweaty, hot bodies slowly calmed down.   
“Yeah… Wow…” Howl agreed breathlessly. "That was a quickie, but an amazing one." He chuckled.   
"Having sex with you always feels amazing," Hiki huffed, placed a soft kiss on his lover's chest and Howl kissed Hiki on the head.   
"I can return the compliment."  
“Umm… Howl,” Hiki mumbled after a few minutes of silence.  
“Hm?”  
“How is this going to work… The koseki thing, I mean...”  
“Your father is going to erase you from his koseki and I’ll add you to mine. I’ll basically adopt you and you’ll officially become a part of my family. That’s another reason why your father has given me such a hard time... To him, it's probably like giving up a son.”  
“I’ll always be his son, though,” Hiki muttered. “There was no need to give you so much hell.”  
“He had many reasons to do so, Hikkun. Good reasons. Your family isn’t just an average family after all, and he had to make sure that I can protect you if push comes to shove. He said you’ll be safe in Tokyo, but just in case anything happens... He needed to know that I’d be able to protect you. And he wanted me to know what kind of people I'd be dealing with."  
“I can protect myself.”  
“I know.” Howl caressed Hiki’s cheek. “I’m sure there were certain things he only did to test my patience and to piss me off… But in general, it was important to him that I prove myself worthy of adopting you into my family and inevitably become part of yours too, in the end.”  
“What did he make you do?”  
“Well, I had to attend meetings, I went out to certain appointments… I learned a lot, but I also saw things that didn’t align with my moral standards and some things that I wish I hadn't seen.”  
“Like?”  
“Let’s not talk about this now. Just rest assured that I was never in any danger and that I never did anything you would hate me for. I was just a bystander.”  
“As if I could ever hate you. But… I’m angry at him for making you suffer. You were so exhausted and stressed out all the time. And I bet he wanted to test how strong our bond is, by keeping you so busy.”  
“There was a second in which I thought that maybe we should wait to take this step...”  
Hiki jolted and looked at Howl. "Really?"   
“It was only for a second and it was my own self-doubt. Not that I doubted our bond, but I thought I might not be good en-” Howl wasn’t able to finish his sentence, because Hiki had placed his hand on his fiance’s mouth.   
“Don’t say that. I don’t want to hear such words coming from you.” He glared at him.   
Howl gently took Hiki’s hand away, kissed it, and placed it on his chest, his own hand on top.   
“We’ll have to pay him a visit tomorrow, he asked me to do so last week. Are you okay with that?”  
“Sure...”   
“We should thank him for letting us do this. If I learned anything from this experience, it’s that he’s the kind of person you don’t want to mess with. You want to be on his good side.”  
“And it’s a matter of respect to go there, I know that. I just don’t want to run into _her…_”  
“You probably won’t. But Hajime and Kai will be there.”  
“Right, I want to tell them! Oh… By the way… Are we going to have a ceremony or something?”  
“Do you want one? We could invite our closest family and friends and have a little celebration...”  
“Mh,” Hiki nodded. “That sounds nice. But I'm not wearing a dress…"  
“Hikkun, are you nodding off?”  
“Mhh…”  
“Let’s go take a shower together before we go to sleep. We should clean you out or you’ll have a stomach ache tomorrow.”  
“I’ss fineee, I want to sleep…”  
Howl sighed. “Well, it was a very long day…” He reached out, grabbed a blanket which he covered them with, and the two of them fell asleep.  
  
“Good morning, fiance,” Howl greeted Hiki smiling when he woke up the next morning.   
“Good morning, fiance,” Hiki grinned and rubbed his eyes before he stretched out his arms and leaned over to kiss Howl. “Mhh, I don’t wanna get up. Can’t we just stay in bed?”  
“I wish, but we have to be at your parent’s house at 11. We’ll stop somewhere to have breakfast on our way. Let’s hop into the shower, today will be busy and I have another surprise for you.”  
“Jeez, Howl… You seriously spoil me too much.”  
“Are you complaining about that?”  
“Hehe, nope. Just stating facts,” he grinned.  
“Then let me spoil you, it gives me joy to see you happy.”  
“All I need to be happy is you…” Hiki whispered and kissed Howl again.   
“Good grief… This whole staying in bed scenario feels really tempting right now…”  
“You said we have to be there at 11,” Hiki asked as he sat up and scooted over to the side of the bed.   
“Yeah…” Howl’s eyes were glued on his lover’s naked body as he got up and the blanket that had covered him slid on the floor while Hiki walked over to the bathroom. He seductively looked back over his shoulder.   
“Well then, how about we go for a second round in here…?” He smiled cheekily and winked. Howl’s heart skipped a beat. He quickly got out of the bed, rushed over to his alluring looking lover and they vanished into the bathroom for almost two hours.   
  
After having breakfast at a small cafe in town, they headed to the countryside to pay their visit to Hiki’s father, who received them in his tea room. It was a tatami room with a very traditional interior, with a chabutai, a short legged table, in the middle, and floor cushions. Ueda was sitting at the head of the table, wearing a black yukata.   
Hiki and Howl bowed after they entered the room, greeted him, and Ueda offered them a seat.  
“So, Howl-san, you did ask him and I assume you said yes,” he looked at Hiki.   
“I did. Thank you for giving us your approval,” Hiki replied humbly.  
“Well, your partner worked very hard to prove himself worthy. And he probably saved my life, I owe him that much at least.”  
Hiki looked at Howl in shock.   
“He didn’t tell you? How modest of you, Howl-san.”  
“We didn’t get the chance to talk about everything that happened in detail, yet,” Howl explained, annoyed over Hiki’s father’s talkativeness.  
“Is that so. Anyhow, you did very well, Howl-san. I have to admit that I value your eagerness to take care of my son and your compassion to reach your goals. So, I have arranged the koseki transmission already, my lawyer is taking care of it and I’ve signed my forms. He will pay you a visit next week to bring you the papers, and he’ll explain the rest of the procedure to you. It’s faster when a lawyer is taking care of it, so take this as my engagement present.”  
“Th-Thank you, father!”  
“Yes, thank you, Ueda-san.”  
“You’re welcome. Howl-san, would you excuse me and Hikaru for a moment? I would like to have a little father and son talk with him.”  
“Of course, I’ll be outside.” Howl got up and left the room.   
“Hikaru, listen…” Ueda started.   
Hiki’s heart was beating like crazy. He was nervous about what his father wanted to talk to him about.   
“I just want to let you know that I’m very proud of you. You have a very strong character, you’re smart and you have a big heart. You’re a good person and a good son. You never disappointed me, and you have been loyal and diligent, even though I haven’t been the best father to you. I acted very selfishly in the past, and I want to sincerely apologize for that. I could have saved you a lot of hardship if I would’ve focused more on my family. I shouldn’t have left you in her care… Maybe I should have given you up for adoption as I had planned before you were born, but… When I saw you for the first time, it was impossible for me to abandon you. I just loved you from that moment on,” Ueda rambled without watching his choice of words. “Oh… I’m sorry, that must sound very confusing and cruel to you. But you see, the truth is…”  
“I know.”  
Ueda jolted in surprise. “What do you mean, you know?”  
“I know that I’m not your real son,” Hiki admitted.   
“Who told you?” Ueda immediately assumed that Howl had spilled his secret to Hiki.  
“It was her. Mother, I mean. She wanted me to feel miserable about myself, so she kept telling me that I’m nothing more than a bastard and that you’re not my real father. She said that you hate me and that I was the reason why you were never at home. But she was usually very drunk when she started talking about it and she never mentioned it when she was sober, so I wasn’t sure if it was the truth. And since you never treated me any different than my siblings, I never felt the need to talk to anyone about it.”  
“Did you ever ask yourself who your real father is?”  
“No. Because even though I have the confirmation now, it doesn’t matter. To me, you’re my father, and I honor and love you, no matter what. I’m grateful that you kept me here and raised me like one of your own. Even though my mother never loved me, Hacchan and Kai do, and I’m deeply grateful for that. And... I always hoped and prayed that you do so as well, despite what she kept telling me all my life.” Hiki smiled at his father with teary eyes.   
“Of course…! You _are _my son and nothing and no one could ever change that,” Ueda said with a firm voice and an earnest expression, but his eyes were gentle and warm.  
“Thank you,” Hiki sparkled as a single tear ran down his cheek.   
As Ueda noticed that he had trouble holding back his emotions, he quickly cleared his throat. “Now go to him and leave, we don’t want you to run into your mother, do we...”  
“No. Thank you again, father. For everything.” Hiki got up and bowed deeply before he left.   
“You’re welcome, son,” Ueda mumbled to himself and took a sip from his tea, smiling warmly.  
  
“Hikkun, are you okay,” Howl asked after Hiki had shut the door behind him, as he noticed his lover’s teary eyes. He stepped closer to him and Hiki suddenly clung onto him. “What happened? Did he say something hurtful? I swear, I’m gonna-”  
“No, it’s okay, he wasn’t mean to me. It was a really good talk, I’m just emotional. All of this is a lot, and I’m just... so happy.” Hiki giggled sniffling, then let go of Howl and wiped away his happy tears.   
“Let’s leave, Hikkun, I want to show you your other surprise now.”  
“But what about Hacchan and Kai, weren’t we going to see them?”   
“We can meet up with them next weekend, maybe Saturday, when we have more time. We have to go back soon after all, since tomorrow’s Monday and I would like to spend some time with you on the sofa and rest a bit.”  
“Oh, true… And we have to drive all the way back too. Alright, let’s go then. I can call Hacchan and Kai tomorrow and tell them everything,” Hiki smiled. Howl nodded and took his lover’s hand. They walked down the long hallway of the big house, over to the entrance hall, but suddenly, Hiki spotted a familiar face.   
“Oh, no,” he mumbled. His heart started racing, his hands became sweaty and he stopped walking, forcing Howl to pause too.   
“Hikkun, what’s wrong,” Howl asked confused.   
Hiki pointed over to the entrance door and Howl saw what had startled his lover.   
“You thought you could just sneak out like the little rat that you are, huh?” Hiki’s mother was standing next to the door in her nightgown, obviously under the influence of alcohol.  
“Mother…” Hiki replied nervously, as his body inevitably tensed up. Howl pressed Hiki’s hand to reassure him, but they both knew that she wouldn’t just let them leave without throwing a tantrum.  
“Don’t you dare call me mother ever again, ungrateful brood! You’re not part of my family anymore, I saw the papers from the koseki office!” She slowly and unsteadily started walking over to Hiki and Howl. “I called my brother and told him what you two are planning, I was hoping he would send some of his men after you, but instead he told me that you’re dead to him since you’re not on the same koseki as me anymore. Aren’t you lucky…” she hissed and then she suddenly staggered and slumped down. Hiki leaped forward in an attempt to catch her, but he couldn’t grab her in time and she fell on her knees right in front of him. Hiki knelt down to help her up, but the moment he laid his hands on her, she fended him off and slapped him right across the face, hard. A loud smack echoed in the big hall.  
“HEY,” Howl growled and angrily stepped forward, but Hiki stopped him with a gesture of his hand. He needed to deal with the situation by himself, and Howl respected Hiki’s decision.  
“How dare you leave this family after you ruined my life and after you killed my son?! You owe me,” she screamed into his face and started crying. Hiki could smell the alcohol in her breath and it just felt like back when he was younger.  
“Mother... Sorry... Ane-san, I know you’re still hurting over Satoshi’s death, and I know that you despise me and wish that I was never born, because I remind you of your mistake every time you look at me.”  
She stopped sobbing, looked at Hiki with a pained expression, and nodded. “I do hate you.”**  
**“I can’t help that you feel that way towards me and that you project everything bad that has ever happened to you onto me. But there is one thing I can do for the both of us, and that is to never cross that doorstep ever again. You will never have to see my face again for the rest of your life, I promise you that. I hope that this way, we can both find peace and closure. Howl made me realize that I’m not this monster you see me as. That my feelings count, and that I’m worthy of being loved unconditionally. And thanks to him, I’m finally happy. I hope you can forget that I exist and find peace and be happy too.” Hiki smiled, got up. He walked over to Howl, took his hand, and without even looking at his mother again, they walked out and closed the door behind them.   
Hiki’s mother was in utter shock. She stared at the ground while her son’s words echoed in her head.   
“Kimiko, dear, get up,” she suddenly heard her husband's voice coming from the other end of the hall. He walked up to her.  
“Yasuhiro! D-Did you hear what he said?!” she asked him, her eyes full of tears.  
“I did. Come on, let’s get you back to bed, you should rest.” He helped her up, but she was too unsteady on her feet, so he picked her up and carried her.   
“He said he wants me to be happy and find peace… Why? Why?!” She sobbed.  
“That’s the kind of person he is. Despite his parents failing him, he managed to become like this. Impressive isn't it....” Ueda smiled lovingly. “We really need to talk when you feel better, Kimiko,” he said, as he brought his wife to her room.  
  
“Hikkun, are you okay?” Howl asked after they closed the door. He noticed how tight Hiki’s grip around his hand was. It was as if he needed something to hold on to.   
But Hiki just nodded, looked up to him, and smiled wholeheartedly. Howl’s heart skipped a beat. “I’m happy that I have you. I love you, Howl,” he said teary-eyed.   
“I love you too, Hikkun. And I’m so very proud of you.” He let go of Hiki’s hand and embraced him. Hiki clung onto Howl’s back. He felt relieved and happy, and as if a heavyweight had been lifted from his chest. He was free now...   
Howl loosened his grip and looked at Hiki’s face. He gently touched his chin and tilted his head a little to get a better view at his cheek. “Tch! It’s red and swollen. Does it hurt? I can’t believe she did that. Let’s stop at a drugstore and get a cooling pad.”  
“No, it’s fine. Probably looks worse than it is.” Hiki said that but his mother had a strong forehand and his cheek was actually throbbing.  
“We’ll get one, no back talk. And afterwards, I’ll show you your surprise.”   
They walked over to the car, got in and left. As they drove down the way that led from the house to the big gate, Hiki looked back at the building he had spent all his life in, but would never return to. He had very mixed feelings about it, but he knew it was the right thing to do. Howl took Hiki’s hand and smiled at him reassuringly as they left the property and hit the road.  
  
After stopping at a local drugstore to buy the cooling pad for Hiki’s cheek, they drove for a good 45 minutes through a rural area. Hiki was confused as to where Howl was taking him, but he didn’t want to give him even a hint. Ten minutes after they passed a small village, they took a turn at a T-junction and followed a dirt road. There were only a few houses in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by fields, meadows, and woods. They kept driving down that road and after a few minutes there weren’t any houses anymore. Only fields on the right, and meadows and woods on the left.   
“Howl, where the heck are we?”   
“You’ll see, we’re almost there.”   
Hiki had no idea what was going on and decided not to ask too much since Howl was obviously enlightening him soon. All he had to do was be patient.   
They drove for a few more minutes, and Hiki became more and more excited. Howl had to drive slowly, because the ground was very uneven, so it seemed like they were following that road for an eternity when they suddenly stopped.  
“Howl… The road ends here… Where are we going?”  
The last house they had passed was 15 minutes away and all Hiki saw was the ruin of a house in the middle of a huge meadow at the border of a forest and some sunflower fields on the other side. It was a peaceful and idyllic place, just looking out of the car windows was relaxing.  
“Come on, let’s get out,” Howl said.   
Hiki took a deep breath of the warm spring air, which felt much cleaner there. The birds were chirping, the wind was rustling through the trees and the sunflowers… no sign of civilization, except for some power poles in the distance.   
“It’s beautiful here, Howl,” Hiki sparkled.  
“I’m very glad that you say that. Welcome home, Hikkun.”  
“Huh?” Hiki thought he had misheard. He stared at Howl, who was looking at that ruin on the meadow, which, now that Hiki was taking a closer look at it, wasn’t a ruin, it was a construction site.  
“Remember New Years, when we went on that little cruise through the hills after the family dinner?”  
“I remember that…” Hiki replied.  
“You told me that you’d love to build a house somewhere that’s green?”  
“I do. I've dreamed of doing that ever since I was a kid, after all… Wait...”  
“I bought this land, Hikkun. We are going to build a house here. Those over there are the remains of the house that used to be there. They’re going to use the power lines, the sewage and water pipes, but this is going to be our dream house. The appointment with the architect is set on Wednesday.”  
“B-But Howl, we can’t just move out here, can we? I mean…”   
“Well, due to work and Uni, it will be a weekend and vacation home. Our little, peaceful haven. You can tell the architect what you want it to be like and we can plan our perfect home. What do you think?”   
Hiki stared at him utterly shocked. “I… I can’t believe this...“ His eyes traveled over the area. “This is our home... We will build our dream house here... We’re getting married…“ Everything just hit Hiki like a huge wave of realization. “I’m dizzy…”  
Howl chuckled and placed his arm around his shaky lover. “Are you happy?”  
“I’m with you, so I couldn’t be any happier.”

  
After the two freshly engaged lovebirds returned to their condo in Tokyo, life mainly went on as usual. Howl’s company flourished, Hiki did great in college... But there were some changes.   
Hiki went to the bookstore for an interview and got the job. The owner, a kind-hearted woman in her 60’s, assured him that they would adjust his working hours to his Uni schedule, and Hiki started working there the following week.   
On the Wednesday after their engagement, Hiki and Howl went to the architect’s office and went over the plans for their future house. The planning of the two-story house included a spacious living room, a big kitchen, two guest rooms, two bathrooms, and a big bedroom. Hiki also asked if it was possible to have a pool in the backyard, and Howl loved the idea. Since all the connections to the power lines and water pipes already existed and only needed some minor restorations, the architect estimated that building the house would take around a year and a half maximum.   
By the end of the same week, just as promised, Ueda’s lawyer visited Hiki and Howl to go over the forms. They filled them in together and signed them. The couple celebrated that moment privately with a romantic dinner and some bedroom workout afterwards.   
After getting the confirmation letter from the koseki office that stated the transmission was complete, Hiki requested a name change. The date on the letter from the koseki office said the transmission was completed on May 25th, which they took as their wedding date.   
They planned a little get together with their closest friends and family the weekend after they received the letter, at a restaurant in Tokyo, where they rented a private room. Hajime, Kai, Shoji, Kinsley, and his wife, and even Sophie came. Unfortunately, even though they were invited, Hiki’s oldest brother Hiroki and his father weren’t able to come, due to a work trip to China around that time. But Hiki’s father had sent them a very generous wedding gift, in the form of a big fat check. Hiki smirked because that was so typical for his father. But ever since their talk, their relationship had become much better, and they stayed in regular contact via messages and occasional phone calls. It was still a bit awkward for both of them, but Hiki highly appreciated his father’s efforts, and so did Hajime, who profited from it as well.   
Being surrounded by his loved ones made Hiki realize once again that, even though life could be hard and unfair, it could also be incredibly beautiful and he loved every minute of it. 

The END


End file.
